So there's something that has me extremely frustrated and because I couldn't understa

[Fuelbi]

Link to original post: [drupal=4321]So there's something that has me extremely frustrated and because I couldn't understand why[/drupal]



I was talking to my friend and I he told me that he'd be going on a date with his girlfriend this weekend to the movies and buy Portal 2 with just enough money at $65 to do all that. Today I called him to see how it went because he's my one of two bros and because I was happy for him to be dating because he'd never had a girlfriend in his life.

He told me that he didn't go on his date nor bought Portal 2 because his mom took his money for the rent. He told me that she was unemployed and that most of the money coming in was from family helping so she spends much of her time at home now. He also told me that money came from his dad and that he usually never gets much from him unless he asks and waits forever to get the cash.

I have no idea but this made me extremely frustrated. You couldn't believe how badly I felt like going to my friend's house and slap some sense into his mother. Why would you take your kid's money because you can't pay for the rent because you're lazy as **** not out working. I mean, she literally doesn't have a job and I'm thinking wtf isn't she out working her *** off in restaurants or carwashes or whatever like a mule. And I already know he barely gets money EVER and things like his PS3 took him about 3 years of asking to finally get and not to mention the games he buys are almost all from his sister who occasionally goes out to buy with him.

I just can't understand why anybody would do that. He had a date with his girlfriend with money that took him forever to get and his mom just took it all for the rent. I mean she doesn't do anything. If it were me I'd be out hauling some major *** to provide and not resort to taking my kid's savings that I didn't even give to him to pay for the rent.

I honestly don't understand how people can think like this. I dunno if it's just me and the way my parents raised me telling me that they'd NEVER lay a hand on my cash unless they had my consent (which btw they always payed back) and if they didn't have money, they'd rather get a loan out and start working even more to provide than take my money. I just can't even begin to comprehend where someone gets the gall to just take in and take their kid's money without asking (and honestly, I feel the exact same way :/)

I dunno I guess I'm just really frustrated at what I think is one of the biggest stupidities of mankind I've ever witnessed.

Is this just me or what because I just don't see how this happens someone explain that to me

 

[ndayday]

Unfortunately living in a house is a higher priority than video games or relationships.
While it sucks, that's just the ways things are, some households have their whole family working just so they can basically survive.

Try to see it in their parents view though man.

 

[Firus]

Unfortunately living in a house is a higher priority than video games or relationships.
While it sucks, that's just the ways things are, some households have their whole family working just so they can basically survive.

Try to see it in their parents view though man.

Yeah...I definitely see where you're coming from and I agree, it's really ****ty to have him suddenly have his money taken away, but if the mom didn't have enough money for rent, she didn't have enough money for rent, and the family can't get kicked out just so your friend can go on a date/get a video game.

Now, I'm not fully acquainted with your friend's family's situation, obviously, but it is a little off if the mom is sitting around doing nothing and then taking her son's money when she doesn't have enough for rent.

That said, you did say that your friend asked and then got the money from his father. If he just got the money from his father, that adds another variable to the situation. I never got money from my parents except for doing various chores, so I had very little money until I got a job myself. If he just asked for the money and didn't earn it, I wouldn't exactly say he has a claim over it, especially not if rent is an issue.

If the dad gave him money and then his mom took it away right before he was ready to go out and do something with it, it sucks for sure, but life's not always fair. =/

 

[¯\_S.(ツ).L.I.D._/¯]

Yeah it's a ****ty situation, but when you prioritize you gotta see that although it wasn't fair or the right thing to do it did have to be done. I mean what good is Portal 2 and a date if you don't a roof to live under?

 

[Amazing Ampharos]

His story says she just took it without asking... in other words stole it? Just because his lives with his mom doesn't mean he doesn't have personal property, and she does not have any right to just help herself to it (some parents have a hard time understanding this, but both the law and common sense morality are pretty clear here). The story also implies the parents don't live together so anything his dad gave him was between his father and him and his mother has no legitimate claim to it. If his father had wanted to help his mother with the rent, he would have given her the money and not his son.

What people have said here about how the rent is likely more important than the date and video games is true but no justification at all for the mother's actions. Legitimate actions from her would have been something like saying to her son "we're in tough financial straights, and I'm going to need you to help with the rent". If it was already like that that's reasonable (but still sucky), but the way the story is written it sounds much different from that.

That being said though, I dunno how old your friend is, but unless he's really young, the strategy to get money of "ask for a long time" isn't a very good one. A better one would be to go out and get a job; just because his mother has no sense of responsibility doesn't mean he shouldn't try taking some himself. He'll want a bank account in which to store his money, and since he's presumably a minor, he'll need a parent's name on the account alongside his which I strongly, strongly suggest be his father who sounds more trustworthy. On that note, it's mostly the case that he has no remedy for this, but the one thing he can do that could very well help (I dunno his situation) is make sure his father does know about what went down. His father isn't supporting his mother for a reason, and he probably wouldn't appreciate this. Even moreso, if his mother consistently takes money from him to support the family, any child support arrangements etc. his father is in with her could be very eligible for reduction, and making sure his father is maximally informed for that will give his mother strong incentive to avoid such actions in the future.

 

[Pikaville]

Man that sucks for your friend man, but people do desperate things in desperate times.

I totally agree that she should be out working rather than taking her sons money.

But sometimes you have to just bite the bullet to help out the family.

 

[Supreme Dirt]

But sometimes you have to just bite the bullet to help out the family.

Pretty much this. Basically, a stable living situation needs to be at the absolute top of someone's priorities. Above school, above girlfriends, above video games.