XIF
Smash Master
BOOM NYUKKA:
I got pulled over for a DUI that wasnt a DUI. If you're over 21, .08 is the limit, under 21, it's .02
I blew a .011
So no DUI, just a couple tickets and a court date, nothing to serious. But I was in Jail for like 12 hours overnight for being a ******* and driving.
Fun times.
Oh, and then the same day I get arrested I go and win teams and get second in singles at Waba, after no sleep and getting awesome concrete to sit down on. I'm just a beast I guess <_<;
Funny stories:
First off, the machine they used to get my BAC at the police station is called, get this, the "Intoxilizer 5000." I was asking the cops about this and we started cracking jokes about it.
The best was this crunk *** white guy that was being brought in the same time I was at County. This guy got brought in with no shoes, and only wearing a wife-beater and boxer shorts. First off the second they bring him in (still cuffed) he gets all pissy with the cop and tries to headbutt him (and promptly gets stomped). Fast forward like 3 hours when we're all in the holding cells. There's an area outside the cells with benches where they process all the inmates (fingerprints and stuff like that). Around 6 or 7 AM they tell us that we are free to sit on the benches outside if we want. So we go out there and then this same crunk white dude gets brought in and he sits down behind me and this kid I was talking with that had me dying laughing the whole time.
"Yo Alex, look behind you"
"Oh, I already saw that guy being brought in."
"No... look behind you.
So I turn around to look and then I get treated to a nice prime view of the biggest pair of nuts I've ever seen in my life. I mean, you could have launched a rocket off this guys pair.
So then this guy gets the bright idea to lay down, and this lady cop thats working there all of a sudden gets that nice view to deal with. So obviously she tells him that he can't be laying down he has to stand up.
"Why do I have to stand up?"
"Well... besides the fact i'm asking you nicely, i'm just telling you, we can do this the easy way or the hard way."
The guy flat out ignores her, so she calls over this other guy to set crunk white guy straight. Cop comes over and as soon as he is over crunk white guy scrambles up and stands face to face with the cop. Crunk white guy, responds with the following:
"The fvcks your problem?" *Shoves cop*
Big mistake.
Cop absolutely floors him back on to the bench, to which the crunk guy responds with... a fart. Big nasty one too. And then they told everone to get down, so now me and this guy are flat on our stomachs. And within literally 15 seconds the room is flooded with 20 cops, 10 or so of which have floored crunk white guy in an NFL tackle.
Sorry Crunk White Guy, get wrecked.
Thats about it for my story time.
PS: I couldn't Break Those Cuffs.
PPS:
8/10. The lack of mugshot stopped this from getting a perfect score. Overall, I approve.
