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Smash Bros. DOJO!!

Lord Sakurai

Smash Cadet
Joined
Oct 30, 2008
Messages
52
Link to original post: [drupal=1126]Smash Bros. DOJO!![/drupal]



Characters who will never be in Smash

So you want to know the roster of my upcoming masterpiece, Super Smash Brothers Clash, the fourth Smash title, do you? I'm sorry, but that's under very tight wraps, and if I told you, King Dedede would have to smash your noggin in.

You don't want that, now do you?

So instead, I'm going to tell you who is not going to be in Super Smash Brothers Clash.

Vexen



In Super Smash Brothers Clash, I have been asked to increase representation of Kingdom Hearts by my superiors. While I have added in Marluxia, Xemnas, Luxord, Xigbar, and Roxas, I simply am unable to make a moveset for Vexen due to him having no moveset potential. I also detest this character, and no matter how badly this series needs the representation could not force myself to bring him into Smash.

Did I just tell you characters who were going to be in the game?

You heard nothing.

King K. Rool



K. Rool is very unpopular and unimportant, and he has no moveset potential. He would obviously be a clone of Bowser, and we have far too many villains. Donkey Kong also has too many characters.

Ridley



Ridley is far too small to be playable. I would have to size him so considerably to make him a moveset. Besides, he has no moveset potential. All he can be is a clone of Master Hand. His role is minor in the Metroid series as well, due to him rarely showing up and having no impact on Samus' life.

Megaman



Megaman is too unimportant to Nintendo, having had nearly no games whatsoever on it's consoles. Kingdom Hearts, however, has had many Nintendo games. Hence how Xigbar and the others are in.

You didn't hear anything.

Mario



I never understood why fans requested this character. He's terribly unimportant and generic, never having any dialogue whatsoever. Mario will be lucky to be an assist trophy.
 

Firus

You know what? I am good.
BRoomer
Joined
Apr 7, 2008
Messages
7,681
Location
Virginia
NNID
OctagonalWalnut
3DS FC
0619-4291-4974
Yeah...if people thought he was serious when he said something about Ridley being "too small" to be playable, they're quite gullible.

Not funny at all, though, for a joke blog. I'm just glad post count is disabled...
 

ndayday

stuck on a whole different plaaaanet
BRoomer
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
19,614
Location
MI
I liked the older ones better. Better luck next time, Sakurai.
 

Teran

Through Fire, Justice is Served
Super Moderator
Premium
BRoomer
Joined
Oct 23, 2008
Messages
37,168
Location
Beastector HQ
3DS FC
3540-0079-4988
The best part was the Mario main's response.
 

Mardyke

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Sep 8, 2008
Messages
289
Location
Ireland
SAAKUURRAAIIIIIII!!!

These are too good for words. We need more updates for the dojo, Lord Sakurai! MORE!
 
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