Smash Bros. DOJO!!

[TheSundanceKid]

He's. . .He's HUGE!

That's what she said.

Also: WHY IZ MK SO BROKENN?!!11

 

[Firus]

Etc.

So...you thought Nintendo Power liked Ridley so you thought it was fitting to tell them it's not going to happen when it's going to happen next game? That makes sense.
Here's the big question; if you didn't tell them the truth, why are you telling us the truth?

Okay, you didn't answer my other question. Which character was going to be added, but didn't get added into the final game?

 

[Lord Sakurai]

So...you thought Nintendo Power liked Ridley so you thought it was fitting to tell them it's not going to happen when it's going to happen next game? That makes sense.
Here's the big question; if you didn't tell them the truth, why are you telling us the truth?

Okay, you didn't answer my other question. Which character was going to be added, but didn't get added into the final game?

I wanted them to be surprised, what's the point in spoiling it? Ridley will be an unlockable character and you know how tightly my lips are sealed related to those. (Laughs)

Ridley wasn't ever directly put into the game code as a playable character, but I intended him to be one at a certain point in time.

As for the rest, I intended to bring back everyone from Melee, aside from Young Link, whom I upgraded into Toon Link, and Pichu, who was a joke from the start anyway.

But on Toon Link. . .Why would you ever want to play as Young Link? People were complaining Young Link was too much like Link.

I didn't make his moves different, but instead I gave him a different visual appearance!

I even put in his Wind Waker as a cute little taunt.

Toot toot!

I also considered adding Toon Zelda and Shiek, but the toon versions of them were not enough like their real counterparts, so I couldn't make them clones. Such a insignificant character was not worth the time to make a real moveset for.

I knew Pichu had some fans despite me having intended him to be a joke, so I was going to add Plusle and Minun to replace little Pichu. They were going to play like Pichu, but to compensate for damaging themselves, there were two of them, like the Ice Climbers.

But the Ice Climbers deserved to have their own unique trait. They were first. I couldn't rob them of their unique trait, now could I?

Look at them. They're inseperable!

The final character I intended to include was Dixie Kong, but not as a full character, instead alongside Diddy Kong. I decided against it once again in favor of the Ice Climbers.

But what to do with Diddy's down special? That swapped between them. . .

A banana peel! Brilliant!

Don't get too close! You're gonna trip!

See? You tripped!

I considered making her a full playable character on her own, but my fans wished to see K. Rool instead, whom I detest. Sadly, I had to fully cut Dixie Kong due to the fans of K. Rool.

There were cuts in the game, but the things that were cut aren't needed, as the game is already better. There is NOTHING I could've done to improve it.

 

[Minwu]

Because the quality of said competition is subpar at best.

But, no one has reached the roof of skill in Brawl yet anyways. Otherwise, ICs would get free stocks more often.

 

[Cinder]

There is NOTHING I could've done to improve it.

BS and you know it...now, let's assume for a moment that you are the real Sakurai (which you're not)...you failed your long-time fans in favor of the n00bs, when you could have made it competitive and made EVERYONE happy...that "it's no fun if you lose" stuff is BS...people still lose in Brawl and get all emo and upset...it's human nature...and now the competitive players such as myself detest the game *points to avatar* because you kicked us to the curb for NO REASON...

[/un-necessaryrant]

And if you're the real deal, prove it...

 

[Firus]

I wanted them to be surprised, what's the point in spoiling it? Ridley will be an unlockable character and you know how tightly my lips are sealed related to those. (Laughs)

...Again, why are you telling us if you're not telling Nintendo Power? And there's a difference between saying "he would've been impossible" and saying something like "I hadn't considered it", "he wasn't considered for Brawl", something like that.

As for the rest, I see you did your homework. I was hoping you'd trip up and not know about the Forbidden 7, which would prove you false for sure. Not that it really should be an "innocent until proven guilty" in this case, you should have to prove you're Sakurai.

There were cuts in the game, but the things that were cut aren't needed, as the game is already better. There is NOTHING I could've done to improve it.

The game could've been much better. Don't BS.

But, no one has reached the roof of skill in Brawl yet anyways. Otherwise, ICs would get free stocks more often.

This is the most annoying argument.

We have not discovered everything in Brawl yet, no. THE GAME STILL SUCKS. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING TO GIVE IT TIME FOR 8 MONTHS NOW. THEY'RE STILL SAYING IT. THIS WILL NOT CHANGE.
The game isn't magically going to become awesome. The competitivity of the game sucks now, and it might slightly improve in the future. But that means it'll only suck slightly less.

BS and you know it...now, let's assume for a moment that you are the real Sakurai (which you're not)...you failed your long-time fans in favor of the n00bs, when you could have made it competitive and made EVERYONE happy...that "it's no fun if you lose" stuff is BS...people still lose in Brawl and get all emo and upset...it's human nature...and now the competitive players such as myself detest the game *points to avatar* because you kicked us to the curb for NO REASON...

[/un-necessaryrant]

And if you're the real deal, prove it...

Quoted for pure truth.

 

[SirKibble]

I hope you all realize how ridiculous you sound...

OMGZ, Sakruria, ur suck a n00000000b. Barwal is p00pz, no1 liekz it.

Honestly... This thread makes me want to put a brick in something's head.

 

[Lord Sakurai]

I was hoping you'd trip up and not know about the Forbidden 7

Oh ho ho ho ho! I see I tripped! I should've been more careful.

If you don't want to believe me, feel free, my good friend. I'm giving more information about Smash Brothers that you fans so crave, and if you want to reject my offer, that's fine with me.

I have said the game was perfect on numerous occassions, even to my dear friend Mr. Iwata, and my stance on that has not changed. I am here for my fans, not for ungrateful people like you who can't sense perfection.

That said, I'm still open to making the next game better then perfect.

What shall I add next?

I know!

I'll let you have the joy of tripping while in the air!

It also happens far too rarely. . .

Prepare for tripping trouble.

And make it double!

 

[SkylerOcon]

: (

 

[Firus]

If you don't want to believe me, feel free, my good friend. I'm giving more information about Smash Brothers that you fans so crave, and if you want to reject my offer, that's fine with me.

What information? You're feeding us everything we already know. And no one on SmashBoards craves any knowledge except why on earth Sakurai put tripping into

I have said the game was perfect on numerous occassions, even to my dear friend Mr. Iwata, and my stance on that has not changed. I am here for my fans, not for ungrateful people like you who can't sense perfection.

In other words, if you were actually Sakurai, you'd be an arrogant jerk? I know Sakurai said he didn't think he could've made the game any better. I highly disagree.

And if you want to call me ungrateful, go ahead.

That said, I'm still open to making the next game better then perfect.

What shall I add next?

I know!

I'll let you have the joy of tripping while in the air!

It also happens far too rarely. . .

Prepare for tripping trouble.

And make it double!

NO. You did NOT just use Team Rocket's motto as a failure joke. You're not funny, and you're on the border of killing something 100x more awesome than Brawl.

And Skyler, the troll would be successful if I were taking him seriously. I'm really not. But you bring up a good point. I'm wasting precious seconds of my life arguing with an idiot pretending to be an idiot.

 

[M-WUZ-H3R3]

Hey "Sakurai" if you direct the next smash bros., please dont take away edge hoging and let your opponent grab your swaying feet as they attempt to grab the edge. Or increse the tripping rate by 50%, wait a moment, when Meta Knight runs, he just flys, how could he trip?? You may have to cut him too, or just make him the only character who can't trip. That will dramaticly shift tiers, no wait... it wont, because he is top anyway, so what is it going to hurt, go on! (laughs)

 

[Chief Mendez]

So this is basically the best thing I've ever seen come out of Smashboards.

Spoiler

10self-depractatingparodies

 

[M-WUZ-H3R3]

Speaking of time, I must be on my way. Do not worry, I won't be gone long, I shall be back to grace you with my presence before long.

***leaves and searches on google*** "hmmm, how whould the real sakurai finish this argument? ah ha! There is somthing I can say! ***goes on microsoft word and pre writes witty comments/ looks up sefisticated terms and matured vocabulary....*** "danny honney!! its time to get to bed!! its already 5:00.pm!!! you cant stay up all night!!!
Sakurai: (laughs) "ill be right there mom!!"

PS: Jigglypuff FTW!!!!

 

[Black_Heretic]

lol, this makes me wonder things like, "What if Sakurai was really on SWF?"

 

[TheSundanceKid]

If Sakurai read every comment made about him on this forum, he'd kill himself.

 

[Firus]

If Sakurai read every comment made about him on this forum, he'd kill himself.

No, I actually think he'd be empowered by it. He'd be so proud that he effectively pissed off a ton of competitive players.

 

[Chief Mendez]

***leaves and searches on google*** "hmmm, how whould the real sakurai finish this argument? ah ha! There is somthing I can say! ***goes on microsoft word and pre writes witty comments/ looks up sefisticated terms and matured vocabulary....*** "danny honney!! its time to get to bed!! its already 5:00.pm!!! you cant stay up all night!!!
Sakurai: (laughs) "ill be right there mom!!"

Oh man, did you just insinuate that Lord Sakurai is actually 13 year old kid who's just pulling our collective chains?

BLASPHEMY

Obviously this is the real Sakurai. Why else would his username be 'Lord Sakurai'? I myself am eagerly awaiting the next Dojo update. Tripping is actually pretty fun.

 

[M-WUZ-H3R3]

No, I actually think he'd be empowered by it. He'd be so proud that he effectively pissed off a ton of competitive players.

:-0 thats exactly why he put in tripping.
**it was exactly 2 weeks after brawl arrived. Sakurai rushes to his computer and goes on youtube.
Sakurai: ha! they must have discovered my little trick by now!
**enters: "ssbb tripping WTF!!!" in the search bar. results: 1286 videos***
Sakurai: i guess they have!
**clicks the first link**
Sakurai: (laughs laughs laughs laughs laughs laughs laughs)laughs his *** off

 

[M-WUZ-H3R3]

Oh man, did you just insinuate that Lord Sakurai is actually 13 year old kid who's just pulling our collective chains?

actualy i was going for a 50 year old virgin who lives with his mom and eats fresh home made meals.

 

[Minwu]

This is the most annoying argument.

We have not discovered everything in Brawl yet, no. THE GAME STILL SUCKS. PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING TO GIVE IT TIME FOR 8 MONTHS NOW. THEY'RE STILL SAYING IT. THIS WILL NOT CHANGE.
The game isn't magically going to become awesome. The competitivity of the game sucks now, and it might slightly improve in the future. But that means it'll only suck slightly less.

Ok, fine. Maybe no new useful techs will be discovered in Brawl's lifespan(~ the release of the next Smash). But even with what few techs we have in brawl, there's STILL more room for improvement, even in top-level play! Theoretically, a perfect MK(or any character with coverable "weaknesses" like MK) could play a perfect game. But there is no perfect MK.

 

[M-WUZ-H3R3]

Ok, fine. Maybe no new useful techs will be discovered in Brawl's lifespan(~ the release of the next Smash). But even with what few techs we have in brawl, there's STILL more room for improvement, even in top-level play! Theoretically, a perfect MK(or any character with coverable "weaknesses" like MK) could play a perfect game. But there is no perfect MK.

brawl is an amazing game.... it is just a pice of crap that Sakurai **** out and stuffed in an attractive game case compared to melee. (how can the wii even read somthing like that???)

 

[Chief Mendez]

brawl is an amazing game.... it is just a pice of crap that Sakurai **** out and stuffed in an attractive game case compared to melee. (how can the wii even read somthing like that???)

But you can't play as Meta-Knight in Melee! And he's like, really good!

 

[M-WUZ-H3R3]

But you can't play as Meta-Knight in Melee! And he's like, really good!

He clearly did two things in this case. Made the characters unbalanced as hell by making MK an invincible cheap character, and made ganondorf scarf down cheese cakes until brawl relesed 7 years later.
Sakurai: ok character roll cal!!!
mario?
Mario: here
Sakurai: ganondorf?
Ganondorf: um.... Sakurai? im too fat to brawl. my arial lag will be horrible! did you include L-Cancel?
Sakurai: of couse not! (laughs)
Ganondorf: um, ok, here.

ganon was one of the most balanced characters in melee and Sakurai made him bottom tier.

 

[SirKibble]

I love the assumption that Sakurai did all this intentionally. There's no way it was an accident. Of course he hates Ganondorf, and must have said "Let's make him friking awful in this game." Yeah, no doubt about it, Sakurai's a butt.

 

[Chief Mendez]

What I find funny is that until I started coming back to these boards, I found Meta-Knight to be one of the weaker fighters. I mean, I still don't really like playing as they guy, but...

ganon was one of the most balanced characters in melee and Sakurai made him bottom tier.

I'm pretty sure Sakurai doesn't even know what the tier list is right now, if he even knows it exists.

But hey, he also made Falcon and Link bottom-tier, and those guys are awesome in Brawl.

 

[M-WUZ-H3R3]

But hey, he also made Falcon and Link bottom-tier, and those guys are awesome in Brawl.

Izaw91's link screams "your too slow" to sonic
Captain falcon is not pleased with his new spot on the tier list FALCON PAWNCH **pawnches back all the other tiers and rightfily claims his place on MK's corpse and potato sack/ tea-bags it**
teirs are truley for queers