1. If it exists, it's worth complaining about.
2. If a character is added, they suck.
3. If a character is removed, they were perfect. Rule 2 no longer applies.
4. If it isn't Melee, it sucks.
5. If it exists, there is a homosexual ship of it. No exceptions.
6. Sturgeon's Law applies everywhere. However, it applies tenfold to character rosters.
7. If it talks, it's a meme. No exceptions.
8. Don't talk about Sonic characters unless you have a flame shield on.
9. Don't talk about Goku, period.
10. If it exists, it is misinterpreted. No exceptions.
11. The less significant it is, the more significant it is treated.
12. K. Rool is your waifu. No exceptions. If you are an exception, prepare to be ostracized.
13. A character is interesting until it is added. Then it sucks.
14. A character is requested until it is added. Then people forget that they ever asked for the character in the first place.
15. Casuals are filth. No exceptions.
16. Competitives are tryhard manchildren. No exceptions.
17. All fanfic writers are fourteen year old girls. No exceptions.
18. Ridley is too big. No exceptions.
19. If it sucks, blame Sakurai. No exceptions.
20. If it's good, assume Sakurai was forced to add it at gunpoint. No exceptions.
21. If you don't like a character, never stop complaining about them.
Ever.
Unless Rule 3 is invoked.
22: If a character is high tier, you suck for using them.
23: If a character isn't high tier, you suck for using them.
24: The fanbase sucks. No exceptions.
25: Dark Pit is the edgiest thing in existence. Only Shadow the Hedgehog comes close.
26. Clones are the Devil. No exceptions.
27. Unrequested characters are the Devil. No exceptions.
28. Third Party characters are the Devil. No exceptions.
29. Anything that isn't from Donkey Kong or Metroid is the Devil. No exceptions.
30. Other M is also the Devil.
31. Donkey Kong was never an arcade game, and Pauline does not exist.
32. If it exists, it needs a buff. No exceptions.
33: If it exists, it needs a nerf. No exceptions.
34. Not even gonna say it. We all know what this one is.