Rubyiris
Smash Hero
Link to original post: [drupal=2236]Second Blog entry: Various problems with my life, and what I've decided to do in order to solve them.[/drupal]
I don't have any major problems with my life, but many smaller problems add up, and can cause alot of stress at some times.
Copy pasta from another site that gained a few responses that gave me some things to look into.
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Nothing too troubling, but things that I would enjoy fixing.
First off, I seem to have the worst luck with finding a job. Currently, I'm 19, and I'm taking a temporary break from school. I'm looking for any sort of entry-level job, preferably full-time. I had a job when I was 16, but I ended up getting fired due to having too many sick-leaves. I've been actively searching job jobs since April 2008. The best luck I've currently had so far, are a few interviews where I've been told that I lack the experience necessary for the job. Currently I'm just pumping out as many applications as I possibly can, whilst constantly pestering the hiring managers near where I currently live for an interview. I've started to look into job-searching agencies, but that hasn't gotten me any further to getting a job, either.
Next off: I dropped out of high school. Not due to anything dramatic, like peer pressure, depression, or anything, but because after my junior year, everything felt so.. pointless. I just wanted to get into College. I've always naturally been a faster learned than most of my peers. Some examples, would be reading on a 5th grade level in 1st grade, or being at a college level by 6th grade. Being at a 10th grade math level in 5th grade, etc. I'm no genius, I'm just good at comprehending things, that other people have more trouble with So with 10 credits to go, and only a year before I turn 21, I decided that I'd just go through the GED program, and go to a community college, or technical school. My problem is that I can't for the life of me figure out what I want to do with myself.
A brief view into my life:
I'm a 19 year old, socially awkward white male. I'm a nerd. I'm into anime, and manga, and I occasionally go to anime and gaming conventions, but I'm much more casual than most of the con goers, so even in that social setting, I'm still usually the lonely, awkward outcast. I'm more at home amongst competitive gamers. I play games like Guilty Gear, Blazblue, and Super Smash Bros Melee at a competitive level, but at the same time, I'm socially awkward around the FPS/TPS players, since the only shooters I really enjoyed are a decade old. I love listening to music. I gave playing various instruments a try, as well as attempting to compose songs, and mix, but nothing really seems to be something I'd want to forge a career into. I'm not good enough to win money at major gaming events. I'm not very creative, and I dislike practicing, so I can't see myself making a career in music. I've wondered about going into electronics; specifically tech support, and building computers, but I'm not entirely sure about that career choicee either.
Self-esteem issues:
From the first day I went into school, to even to this day, I've had to deal with non-stop teasing, disrespect, and ridicule for seemingly anything I did, or thought. From the age of 6, up until the age of 16, I was constantly accused of looking like a girl. I have a very flamboyant voice, and up until I turned 15, unless you checked my pants, I really did look like a girl. After the movie "Joe dirt." was released, I went throughout my middle-school life getting beaten up on a daily basis, and I was referred to as "Joe Dirt." because at the time, I sported a mullet. Also, despite the fact that I followed the same hygiene routines as any average male (Daily showers, clean clothes, deodorant, body spray, grooming, and brushing my teeth twice a day) people ridiculed me for my hygiene. Even as I got older, people still ridicule me for the dumbest things. I'm ridiculed for my hobbies. I'm ridiculed because of my weight. I'm ridiculed for being a drop out, etc. I know at the age of 19, this should all be trivial, and shouldn't bother me, but because of how long I've dealt with it, and how insistent people are with their hate for me, it really does a deal on someone's self-esteem.
About my weight:
I'm currently 5'5, and I weigh 220 pounds. Up until I turned 17, I was in great physical shape. Around then I changed to a charter school with no p.e. program. I got fired from my full time job, and the few friends I did have moved away, which basically killed any, and all motivation to maintain my body. I began to eat more, and well. One thing led to another, y'know? I'm not a fan of working out. I do not enjoy lifting, or aerobics on a recreational basis. I LOVE sports, but only with other people. I've never been able to enjoy just shooting hoops, or riding a bike for leisure, or to swim on a hot summer day, unless it was as a group activity. The only "sport" I've ever been able to enjoy, even at a recreational level was DDR/ITG/PIU, which I stopped playing once I lost my job. I've been desperately wanting to start playing again. I'm actually VERY good, which unfortunately means that I can't stand playing home-versions, due to the ****ty quality of cheap dance pads, and not having the funds necessary to buy one of the higher-quality metal pads, or even an arcade pad. I've been making it a habit to play at the arcades near my place whenever I have spare change, but that's not very often.
Social situation:
Due to having a low self-esteem, and due to my hobbies not being the social norm, and being straight-edge, I'm not able to enjoy parties, or night clubs. I don't have many friends outside of of the gaming clique, so overall my life is very dull/boring.
Overall, I don't believe anything is worth seeing someone for, but overall my various small problems add up, and make a difference on my daily life.
I don't actually expect anyone to read everything I've posted, but it does help to some extend to express my various frustrations.
Any advice would be helpful. My ultimate goals are to get back into shape, gain self-esteem, and self-pride, find a career path I will enjoy, and ultimately get the girl (or guy) of my dreams.
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Alot to read, but it's a basic summary of 19 years of my life.
I received some very nice/helpful comments from other people about this post, that helped me sort out my various options.
----------------------------------------------------------
It's very understandable for things like this to build up and have an impact on your daily life. It might seem overwhelming to change everything at once, so if that's the case, just take things one at a time.
Unfortunately, there's not too much you can do when searching for a job. Keep filling out applications and checking back on them to see if you can set up an interview, but it seems that jobs are not available in huge quantity at this moment in time. It would definitely help to get your GED, if you haven't yet.
I really would recommend starting college, even if you're not sure what you want to do yet. Start by just taking your generals, and look at the possible majors and think about what you would like to do. College offers a new social group for you to get involved in, where I'm sure you can find some people to get along with. It might seem to you that you're a bit of an outcast, but there's others out there like you, and even if there's not, there's people you can get along with! I know that I, for one, think your hobbies sound really fun. I'm into that kind of stuff.
Self-esteem is rough, but you just need to start making it a habit to tell yourself that you are worthwhile and someone who people would enjoy being around. You might not believe it at first, but you just need to keep telling yourself and eventually it might start to sink in. Find friends that support you and make you feel good about yourself, rather than drag you down.
Something you might want to consider for your weight is getting a Wii Fit. I have one because I can't really do much physical activity, due to my health, but it's a good way for me to fit small amounts into my daily life. It's at least worth checking out, because you can do it at home without having to go out to the gym. And it honestly might be worth a try to head to the gym. Exercising releases endorphins, which make you happy, and will probably leave you feeling a lot better. Exercise is definitely something worth having in your daily life, even if it's in small doses.
I've got pretty much the same hobbies as you, and I don't drink or do drugs, but I wouldn't say that you can't go to parties. You enjoy listening to music, right? Just go to a party or night club and enjoy the music. There's no rule that states you need to indulge in drinking or drugs if you don't want to.
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The response helped me weigh a few options, but I still had to address a few points that were brought up.
----------------------------------------------------------
Just a few things to address:
I don't have a Wii. Wii fit is something I've been considering. A friend of mine who weighs much more than I has lost a huge amount of weight just by including it into his daily routine.
The other thing I wanted to address, was that the types of music I enjoy are very big in Europe, but not in the USA. I'm into Power Metal, Progressive Metal, and some of the heavier genres. I'm also into Freeform Hardcore, and Happy Hardcore. All of these genres are very popular in Europe.
I live in Arizona. My regional area plays Hardcore Punk, Metalcore, etc. There are some free, and low-cost venues in my city, and of several clubs within walking distance of where I live, but the problem with them is that they don't play the music I enjoy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Was my response to the above post.
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My advice to you is to find a restaurant of some sort or catering business in your area. Or even volunteer your time somewhere and show people that you are worth hiring.
But, the food industry would probably be the easiest for you to get into. You can start out as a dishwasher or prep cook without any previous experience. You just have to show that you have the drive.
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I responded with:
I hadn't thought of that. When I told some other acquaintances of mine about my job searching problems, and of the various career choices I had thought of (I've put some thought into being a chef. I LOVE to cook.) The funny thing is that they actually suggested that I avoid the food industry. That's an interesting suggestion.
----------------------------------------------------------
I'm not really sure what you'd think of this idea, but ever think of joining the military?
When my boyfriend was 19 he joined the air force and got into a job doing computer work. Free schooling, free housing, free food. Exercise, socializing..
You don't have to be in forever. Just getting a few years experience doing whatever (possibly computer work?) would count as work experience, and you could go to school too.. It'd look good on future resumes.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I responded to this with:
It's been a thought for quite a while. I believe joining the military is probably the best choice I could make for myself currently. There have been a few things keeping me from joining. The first, and foremost problem with joining the military is that I LOVE where I live. More so that minding myself in a war situation, I find myself terrified of leaving my home state for an extended period of time. I've visited various other states throughout the US, sometimes for more than a month, but I get very homesick, very quickly.
Obviously my other fright is being dragged into a war situation. I've been debating between air force, and navy. Both have excellent schooling, and excellent pay, and would keep me the furthest away from harm, but at the same time, they'd keep me the furthest away from home. I've also never been on a boat before, so I'm not sure how well I'd do being kept on a boat, or a sub for an extended period of time during my tour of duty.
Regardless of my worries, I believe I'll more than likely join the military, unless my luck with job searching somehow improves soon.
------------------------------------------------------------
Basic worries about the military life. Homesickness, and not wanting to be dragged into war. I was reassured that I'd eventually get used to the military life. I began to research further into the Air Force. After consulting with some friends who were knowledgeable, and one who's currently enlisted, I put together a game plan for the future:
I did some research on the air force, and asked a friend of mine who's currently enlisted.
I weigh 220, and I'm 5'5. I'm going to have to lose somewhere around 80 pounds just to meet the weight requirements. I also dropped out of HS, so I need to get my GED.
I also hear that officers get a nice sign-on bonus, so I'm debating on doing schooling before I enlist, and shoot for officer, just to have a nice cushion of cash sitting in my bank.
I'm looking at 2 or 3 years of preparation before I'll even be accepted into the Air Force. @_@
God I hope I get a job soon...
-----------------------------------------------------------
Just some things to look forward to. I still plan on looking for jobs on the side whilst I work toward my goals. Ultimately, I'm hoping I don't have to enlist. If I can get my GED, and find a stable job, I'll more than likely stay home. I'm very attached to my home city. I enjoy traveling, but not for more than a month or two. I start to become very homesick.
I've been to California, Oregon, Washington, New Mexico, and Colorado. All of those places have been very nice places to visit. If I didn't live in Arizona, I'd probably live in Oregon, or Washington, but overall, I just really love Arizona. Specifically; Tucson. Tucson is very clean. Hardly any pollution. There are a few areas of town that smell like sewage, and of course there's a landfill or two, but there really isn't any residential in those areas. One of the nicest things about Tucson is that the entire city is layed out in a grid. There are hardly any streets that go off at awkward angles. (**** phoenix. **** is mad confusing)
Plus I like the heat.
I don't have any major problems with my life, but many smaller problems add up, and can cause alot of stress at some times.
Copy pasta from another site that gained a few responses that gave me some things to look into.
------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing too troubling, but things that I would enjoy fixing.
First off, I seem to have the worst luck with finding a job. Currently, I'm 19, and I'm taking a temporary break from school. I'm looking for any sort of entry-level job, preferably full-time. I had a job when I was 16, but I ended up getting fired due to having too many sick-leaves. I've been actively searching job jobs since April 2008. The best luck I've currently had so far, are a few interviews where I've been told that I lack the experience necessary for the job. Currently I'm just pumping out as many applications as I possibly can, whilst constantly pestering the hiring managers near where I currently live for an interview. I've started to look into job-searching agencies, but that hasn't gotten me any further to getting a job, either.
Next off: I dropped out of high school. Not due to anything dramatic, like peer pressure, depression, or anything, but because after my junior year, everything felt so.. pointless. I just wanted to get into College. I've always naturally been a faster learned than most of my peers. Some examples, would be reading on a 5th grade level in 1st grade, or being at a college level by 6th grade. Being at a 10th grade math level in 5th grade, etc. I'm no genius, I'm just good at comprehending things, that other people have more trouble with So with 10 credits to go, and only a year before I turn 21, I decided that I'd just go through the GED program, and go to a community college, or technical school. My problem is that I can't for the life of me figure out what I want to do with myself.
A brief view into my life:
I'm a 19 year old, socially awkward white male. I'm a nerd. I'm into anime, and manga, and I occasionally go to anime and gaming conventions, but I'm much more casual than most of the con goers, so even in that social setting, I'm still usually the lonely, awkward outcast. I'm more at home amongst competitive gamers. I play games like Guilty Gear, Blazblue, and Super Smash Bros Melee at a competitive level, but at the same time, I'm socially awkward around the FPS/TPS players, since the only shooters I really enjoyed are a decade old. I love listening to music. I gave playing various instruments a try, as well as attempting to compose songs, and mix, but nothing really seems to be something I'd want to forge a career into. I'm not good enough to win money at major gaming events. I'm not very creative, and I dislike practicing, so I can't see myself making a career in music. I've wondered about going into electronics; specifically tech support, and building computers, but I'm not entirely sure about that career choicee either.
Self-esteem issues:
From the first day I went into school, to even to this day, I've had to deal with non-stop teasing, disrespect, and ridicule for seemingly anything I did, or thought. From the age of 6, up until the age of 16, I was constantly accused of looking like a girl. I have a very flamboyant voice, and up until I turned 15, unless you checked my pants, I really did look like a girl. After the movie "Joe dirt." was released, I went throughout my middle-school life getting beaten up on a daily basis, and I was referred to as "Joe Dirt." because at the time, I sported a mullet. Also, despite the fact that I followed the same hygiene routines as any average male (Daily showers, clean clothes, deodorant, body spray, grooming, and brushing my teeth twice a day) people ridiculed me for my hygiene. Even as I got older, people still ridicule me for the dumbest things. I'm ridiculed for my hobbies. I'm ridiculed because of my weight. I'm ridiculed for being a drop out, etc. I know at the age of 19, this should all be trivial, and shouldn't bother me, but because of how long I've dealt with it, and how insistent people are with their hate for me, it really does a deal on someone's self-esteem.
About my weight:
I'm currently 5'5, and I weigh 220 pounds. Up until I turned 17, I was in great physical shape. Around then I changed to a charter school with no p.e. program. I got fired from my full time job, and the few friends I did have moved away, which basically killed any, and all motivation to maintain my body. I began to eat more, and well. One thing led to another, y'know? I'm not a fan of working out. I do not enjoy lifting, or aerobics on a recreational basis. I LOVE sports, but only with other people. I've never been able to enjoy just shooting hoops, or riding a bike for leisure, or to swim on a hot summer day, unless it was as a group activity. The only "sport" I've ever been able to enjoy, even at a recreational level was DDR/ITG/PIU, which I stopped playing once I lost my job. I've been desperately wanting to start playing again. I'm actually VERY good, which unfortunately means that I can't stand playing home-versions, due to the ****ty quality of cheap dance pads, and not having the funds necessary to buy one of the higher-quality metal pads, or even an arcade pad. I've been making it a habit to play at the arcades near my place whenever I have spare change, but that's not very often.
Social situation:
Due to having a low self-esteem, and due to my hobbies not being the social norm, and being straight-edge, I'm not able to enjoy parties, or night clubs. I don't have many friends outside of of the gaming clique, so overall my life is very dull/boring.
Overall, I don't believe anything is worth seeing someone for, but overall my various small problems add up, and make a difference on my daily life.
I don't actually expect anyone to read everything I've posted, but it does help to some extend to express my various frustrations.
Any advice would be helpful. My ultimate goals are to get back into shape, gain self-esteem, and self-pride, find a career path I will enjoy, and ultimately get the girl (or guy) of my dreams.
----------------------------------------------------------
Alot to read, but it's a basic summary of 19 years of my life.
I received some very nice/helpful comments from other people about this post, that helped me sort out my various options.
----------------------------------------------------------
It's very understandable for things like this to build up and have an impact on your daily life. It might seem overwhelming to change everything at once, so if that's the case, just take things one at a time.
Unfortunately, there's not too much you can do when searching for a job. Keep filling out applications and checking back on them to see if you can set up an interview, but it seems that jobs are not available in huge quantity at this moment in time. It would definitely help to get your GED, if you haven't yet.
I really would recommend starting college, even if you're not sure what you want to do yet. Start by just taking your generals, and look at the possible majors and think about what you would like to do. College offers a new social group for you to get involved in, where I'm sure you can find some people to get along with. It might seem to you that you're a bit of an outcast, but there's others out there like you, and even if there's not, there's people you can get along with! I know that I, for one, think your hobbies sound really fun. I'm into that kind of stuff.
Self-esteem is rough, but you just need to start making it a habit to tell yourself that you are worthwhile and someone who people would enjoy being around. You might not believe it at first, but you just need to keep telling yourself and eventually it might start to sink in. Find friends that support you and make you feel good about yourself, rather than drag you down.
Something you might want to consider for your weight is getting a Wii Fit. I have one because I can't really do much physical activity, due to my health, but it's a good way for me to fit small amounts into my daily life. It's at least worth checking out, because you can do it at home without having to go out to the gym. And it honestly might be worth a try to head to the gym. Exercising releases endorphins, which make you happy, and will probably leave you feeling a lot better. Exercise is definitely something worth having in your daily life, even if it's in small doses.
I've got pretty much the same hobbies as you, and I don't drink or do drugs, but I wouldn't say that you can't go to parties. You enjoy listening to music, right? Just go to a party or night club and enjoy the music. There's no rule that states you need to indulge in drinking or drugs if you don't want to.
----------------------------------------------------------
The response helped me weigh a few options, but I still had to address a few points that were brought up.
----------------------------------------------------------
Just a few things to address:
I don't have a Wii. Wii fit is something I've been considering. A friend of mine who weighs much more than I has lost a huge amount of weight just by including it into his daily routine.
The other thing I wanted to address, was that the types of music I enjoy are very big in Europe, but not in the USA. I'm into Power Metal, Progressive Metal, and some of the heavier genres. I'm also into Freeform Hardcore, and Happy Hardcore. All of these genres are very popular in Europe.
I live in Arizona. My regional area plays Hardcore Punk, Metalcore, etc. There are some free, and low-cost venues in my city, and of several clubs within walking distance of where I live, but the problem with them is that they don't play the music I enjoy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Was my response to the above post.
----------------------------------------------------------
My advice to you is to find a restaurant of some sort or catering business in your area. Or even volunteer your time somewhere and show people that you are worth hiring.
But, the food industry would probably be the easiest for you to get into. You can start out as a dishwasher or prep cook without any previous experience. You just have to show that you have the drive.
----------------------------------------------------------
I responded with:
I hadn't thought of that. When I told some other acquaintances of mine about my job searching problems, and of the various career choices I had thought of (I've put some thought into being a chef. I LOVE to cook.) The funny thing is that they actually suggested that I avoid the food industry. That's an interesting suggestion.
----------------------------------------------------------
I'm not really sure what you'd think of this idea, but ever think of joining the military?
When my boyfriend was 19 he joined the air force and got into a job doing computer work. Free schooling, free housing, free food. Exercise, socializing..
You don't have to be in forever. Just getting a few years experience doing whatever (possibly computer work?) would count as work experience, and you could go to school too.. It'd look good on future resumes.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I responded to this with:
It's been a thought for quite a while. I believe joining the military is probably the best choice I could make for myself currently. There have been a few things keeping me from joining. The first, and foremost problem with joining the military is that I LOVE where I live. More so that minding myself in a war situation, I find myself terrified of leaving my home state for an extended period of time. I've visited various other states throughout the US, sometimes for more than a month, but I get very homesick, very quickly.
Obviously my other fright is being dragged into a war situation. I've been debating between air force, and navy. Both have excellent schooling, and excellent pay, and would keep me the furthest away from harm, but at the same time, they'd keep me the furthest away from home. I've also never been on a boat before, so I'm not sure how well I'd do being kept on a boat, or a sub for an extended period of time during my tour of duty.
Regardless of my worries, I believe I'll more than likely join the military, unless my luck with job searching somehow improves soon.
------------------------------------------------------------
Basic worries about the military life. Homesickness, and not wanting to be dragged into war. I was reassured that I'd eventually get used to the military life. I began to research further into the Air Force. After consulting with some friends who were knowledgeable, and one who's currently enlisted, I put together a game plan for the future:
I did some research on the air force, and asked a friend of mine who's currently enlisted.
I weigh 220, and I'm 5'5. I'm going to have to lose somewhere around 80 pounds just to meet the weight requirements. I also dropped out of HS, so I need to get my GED.
I also hear that officers get a nice sign-on bonus, so I'm debating on doing schooling before I enlist, and shoot for officer, just to have a nice cushion of cash sitting in my bank.
I'm looking at 2 or 3 years of preparation before I'll even be accepted into the Air Force. @_@
God I hope I get a job soon...
-----------------------------------------------------------
Just some things to look forward to. I still plan on looking for jobs on the side whilst I work toward my goals. Ultimately, I'm hoping I don't have to enlist. If I can get my GED, and find a stable job, I'll more than likely stay home. I'm very attached to my home city. I enjoy traveling, but not for more than a month or two. I start to become very homesick.
I've been to California, Oregon, Washington, New Mexico, and Colorado. All of those places have been very nice places to visit. If I didn't live in Arizona, I'd probably live in Oregon, or Washington, but overall, I just really love Arizona. Specifically; Tucson. Tucson is very clean. Hardly any pollution. There are a few areas of town that smell like sewage, and of course there's a landfill or two, but there really isn't any residential in those areas. One of the nicest things about Tucson is that the entire city is layed out in a grid. There are hardly any streets that go off at awkward angles. (**** phoenix. **** is mad confusing)
Plus I like the heat.
