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Ruler of The Land

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3.14159

Smash Ace
Joined
Jul 26, 2005
Messages
946
Location
the 180th degree of a unit circle
However, you failed to read Section 187d, paragraphs 159 through 2567 in the Constitution of 348, which repealed that law. You are force-fed several wheelbarrows of snot as punishment for treason and I once again rule the land with some deli-fresh ham slices, a 10 gallon bottle of mustard, some whole wheat bread, and a king-size snickers.
 

Dr. Sloth

Smash Lord
Joined
Jan 1, 2002
Messages
1,361
Location
In my secret base, in a secret location, plotting
After pacing around in my secret lair, I come up with an insane plan (not to mention one that's perfectly legal under Section 7, Paragraph 3). Using a highly sophisticated, ridiculously huge ray gun of doom, I open up a temporal wormhole in the sky just above your sandwich fortress. A swarm of evil fuzzles proceed to jump in from the other side of the wormhole, and eat all of the sandwich bread and deli meat (but not the ten-gallon bottle of mustard as it is tightly sealed). Because your sandwich was a legal symbol of your kingliness, you step down from the throne and I become the new ruler of the land, +23 fuzziness.
 

3.14159

Smash Ace
Joined
Jul 26, 2005
Messages
946
Location
the 180th degree of a unit circle
But a drop of mustard spilled from the not-so-tightly-sealed bottle of mustard, reviving me. I used my army of ****** fuzzle skinners to remove your +23 fuzziness and killed you with a very sharp piece of paper. Your body, covered in papercuts, was pushed off the throne down into a hot dog factory. I am ruler of the land with 2 slightly bloody shoelaces and a fuzzy coat.
 

Dr. Sloth

Smash Lord
Joined
Jan 1, 2002
Messages
1,361
Location
In my secret base, in a secret location, plotting
Covered in paper cuts, I land softly in a tank full of chocolate starfish and hot-dog flavored water. Strangely enough, the two ingredients heal my wounds and I proceed to formulate another plan.

After constructing a giant shield made out of hot dog meat, which grants me +31 mustard resistance, I march into your sandwich fortress. Your ******* immediately attack me by firing blasts of mustard, but my hot dog shield easily absorbs it. I then proceed to take out my super-secret hot dog nunchucks and lay the smackdown. Several minutes later, I manage to toss you out the window, declaring myself ruler of the land, with +6 dog breath.
 

falcoX

Smash Champion
Joined
Aug 1, 2005
Messages
2,316
Location
The Hall of Eternia, Exactly 10 miles west of the
but then, the oompala loompas got hungry and ate your fortress! As chaos and dissarray swirl around your kingdom, i swoop in fresh with a big steak. I command the oompala loompas to get you, and when they do, I slap you with my steak. I am ruler of the land (And i gave my oompas the steak :) )
 

3.14159

Smash Ace
Joined
Jul 26, 2005
Messages
946
Location
the 180th degree of a unit circle
I use my infinitely large... decimal to fly back through the window, knocking you unconscious. I push all the stupid oompa loompas into a circus cage with your carcass and send them to the location of the next poster. Have fun getting eaten!
I run out to the deli, but they ran out of ham, meaning I now rlue the land with a turkey sandwich of +7 yumminess, but -3 fat and +8 holidayish spirit. I name the land Turkeyistan and Turkeyistan is now our land's name. Foos!
 

Dolphin/Gamecube

Smash Ace
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
918
Location
I don't live!
Unfortunately, turkeys all over the world protest to your animalist ways. After I confide in them to be their leader, we create an army large enough to overtake Turkeyistan and reclaim it as the holy land. I am the ruler of this land!!!
 

Zook

Perpetual Lazy Bum
Joined
Jul 30, 2005
Messages
5,178
Location
Stamping your library books.
However, your turkies all get the bird flu and die. Now that you are left defenceless, my avatar comes to life and replaces Earth. The new planet is called Zookamious (I'm the stick figure on top!), which I rule with an iron fist. Furthermore, my Oompaloompas rejoin to make the ultimate wepon, the Oompaloompa Megacannon 1.0!
 

Fiery_Phoenix

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
241
Location
look at the avatar, genious
When i was gone, i was in my top-secret gaming room, using my collection of video games to create an ultimate stategy. unforunately, when i test the strategies, they all fail on the easiest test level. in an incredible rage, i rush to the castle with nothing but an eraser. seen as though u are only a crudely drawn stick figure, i erase u and ur planet, forcing earth to come back. i build the ultimate nintendo gaming castle and law back in my la-z boy recliner, and start happily playing SSBM while humming the theme song

I AM DA RULER OF DA LAND, BABY!
 

Dolphin/Gamecube

Smash Ace
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
918
Location
I don't live!
Until the Microsoft corporation, which I am a part of, comes in and shuts you down with the Xbox 360. Your nintendo gaming castle is destroyed and I become the ruler of the land.
 

Fiery_Phoenix

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
241
Location
look at the avatar, genious
u like the xbox? u *******! i steal a new revolution controller and use it as a set of numchucks to beat the **** out of you. i destroy all Xbox 360's and i yell out that same old saying...

I AM THE RULER OF THE LAND!
 

Zook

Perpetual Lazy Bum
Joined
Jul 30, 2005
Messages
5,178
Location
Stamping your library books.
Unfortuenly for you, you forget to stop swinging the controller, and lynch yourself with it. I then harnest the power of the Ham-Hams and use their mystical language to bring Zookamious back to replace Earth, and this time me and the planet are drawn from unerasable graphite. To top it all off, I top the planet with liquid marshmallows, whip cream, and a marchino cherry, on which my castle is on.


I rule!!!!1!!one!1
 

Fiery_Phoenix

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
241
Location
look at the avatar, genious
your liquid marshmellows wash out all the grafite, causing Earth to come back once again. i kill all the ham-hams, causing you to die of sorrow. i eat all of the whip cream (plus the cherry) than destroy all evidence that you were ever born. i create a new nintendo gaming castle with extra security guards that kill anyone who has ever played an Xbox/Xbox 360. Need I say it?

I AM THE RULER OF THIS HERE LAND! ALL SHALL BOW DOWN TO ME!
 

Stormlord

Smash Cadet
Joined
Nov 19, 2005
Messages
28
i make a huge clone army of links and young links from all of the games, and then get a lot of clones of zelda. I then walk right through your door, because i havent played any xbox at all. My army then takes over the castle, and uses zelda's and link's magic to get everyone out

I AM RULER OF THE LAND UNTIL...
 

Dolphin/Gamecube

Smash Ace
Joined
Aug 15, 2005
Messages
918
Location
I don't live!
I come in and kick your *** with the Microsoft corporation again. You can never kill them because no matter what happens, they will always come out on top of Nintendo. Master Chief kills your army and I am the ruler of the land!
 

Falkick

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Oct 27, 2005
Messages
325
Location
At YTMND. (If you don't know what this is, i shoul
and the evil that is crash bandicoot whirlwinds him, while link hacks his head off! after killing chief, i destroy crash, and send nintendo sales flying through the roof! with everyone nintendized, a make a new world called Falkickia! with my new gamer's paradise planet, i am the true ruler of the land, the universe, and all that is awesome and powerful in thy text of yore in the Falkickia legend!!!( in other wods, i am now TEH L3370R5!!11!!!1!)
 

Stormlord

Smash Cadet
Joined
Nov 19, 2005
Messages
28
*wonders vaguely why you play smash and like xbox...they cancel eachother out* Unfortunately, master chief forgets a few links, and they destroy his suit which keeps him alive. he then looks at a mirror before he dies and sees his hideousness. Microsoft is devastated at the loss of their hero, and go commit suicide in the river of deepness. I recreate my army, and rebuild my castle. I am the ruler of the land!!!
 

smilingmadman

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Nov 12, 2005
Messages
144
Location
In a chair
No one can explain just how or why, but a mollusk--yes, a mollusk--climbs into your lair and somehow assassinates you and all your weakling henchmen. The mollusk becomes the new Ruler of the Land! ...But why the mollusk? Because little does the mollusk know that I am right behind him with a fork and knife. I eat the mollusk, and become the new Ruler of the Land!
 

Falkick

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Oct 27, 2005
Messages
325
Location
At YTMND. (If you don't know what this is, i shoul
i send a crack team of black mages, while i lead the pack! while casting meteo on you, i get my freind theif to use his super-fine-print to make a contract instating that i am the eternal ruler of the land with a no loop-hole contract! and, for good measure, i slam the pudding cup into your face!so now i am the ultimate ruler 13370R5 !!1!!!111!
 

smilingmadman

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Nov 12, 2005
Messages
144
Location
In a chair
As a lone White Mage with a Red Mage subjob, I cast Sneak and Invisible on myself so I can approach you and your Black Mages undetected. Once I'm close enough, I cast Diaga on you and all your henchmen, slowly weakening you all. You guys put up a decent fight, and I may end up with Bio and Poison effects as well as being burned with a bunch of Fire spells, but I simply cast Erase and Cure III and I'm good as new. After a few minutes of fighting, I use up Benediction (my 2 hour ability that cures me almost 100% instantly), and cast Banishga to deal the final blow! You and all your Black Mage friends are dead, voiding your eternal contract and making me the new Ruler of the Land!
 

3.14159

Smash Ace
Joined
Jul 26, 2005
Messages
946
Location
the 180th degree of a unit circle
My black mage and white mage from several pages ago will pwn u. My black mage casts Thundaga as I slash you with a large potato peel, killing you. Then my white mage uses dia on your carcass. bye bye.

I am ruler of the bagels.
 

falcoX

Smash Champion
Joined
Aug 1, 2005
Messages
2,316
Location
The Hall of Eternia, Exactly 10 miles west of the
All the food u rule over suddenly turned against u, becuase they are not really food but are my henchmen in disguise!!! They all attack u as u are about to enjoy a cherry pie (AKA Hello Kitty), and u are to stunned to stop the onslaught. Smack! Bye bye Pi!

I am the ruler of PIs food.
 

smilingmadman

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Nov 12, 2005
Messages
144
Location
In a chair
Me and my gluttonous army of fat men named Jimbo arrive on the scene. These men named Jimbo won't be stopped from eating whatever they come across. They easily wipe out all the food associated with Ruling the Land, as well as falcoX, who rules over the food. My fat man army is killed by the food, which was tainted by evil-poison, so I simply recruit myself a new army of rednecks with shotguns. I, and my redneck henchmen, are the new Rulers of the Land.
 

Mic_128

Wake up...
Administrator
BRoomer
Joined
Jun 19, 2002
Messages
46,175
Location
Steam
*Looks around empty throne room.*

*Orders cleaning service to clear up the inexplicably large number of ant shells and penguin corpses.*

*Sits on throne*

THIS LAND IS RULED OVER ONCE AGAIN
 
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