Alright.
It's time.
For the
CORAL-CRUSHING, SOUL-STEALING, RUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE, RAGE IN A CAGE, HELL IN A SHELL SPONGEBOB TRIPLE DAAAAAAAAAAAY
A fourth SpongeBob rep is pretty much seen as inevitable by this point. Not only would Nick never shy away from a chance to promote their flagship series, but also the series itself is just so damn popular the devs will probably wanna add a character from it regardless of Nick's own wishes. (If anything, I think we could get two if this game gets supported long enough, but that's a whole separate discussion.) Way most see it, it's a race between Squidward, Plankton, and Mr. Krabs for who's gonna get that elusive fourth SpongeSlot™. They're all popular, they're all important, and they've all got announcer lines. Who's it gonna be? Well, let's take a look.
SPONGEBOB, I AM
TRYING TO GET USED TO MY F-STRONG NERF
Chance: 75%
Squidward's definitely the third most prominent SpongeBob character after the sponge himself and Patrick, forming a sort of trio with them that comprises the most iconic aspects of the show. Even when other characters like Bob and Pat have been flanderized to the point that even hardcore fans of the show don't like them much anymore, Squidward has remained a popular and relatable character who people have only come to sympathize with more over the years. So of course that means people want him in NASB. The memes about Squidward being a playable character in this game have been there since day 1 (or more like day -200, honestly), which as we've seen from numerous poll results, is indicative of actual demand. The only reason I'm not giving him a higher score is because of the competition he faces from other characters in his own series, which is what today's discussion is all about. Plus, him being the most important guy in his domain might not even matter considering we saw him skipped over once already with Sandy's inclusion. Simply put, if these guys wanna add someone other than Squidward, they'll add someone other than Squidward. Honestly, though, the conspicuous removal of the Squidward's Clarinet item from the game files is the nail in the coffin for me and indicates that he's probably planned at least on some level. It could mean nothing, but it's still something to consider.
Want: 90%
SpongeBob's probably my favorite Nicktoon (I know, how original) even in spite of how downhill it went post-movie, and while not my favorite character from the show, Squidward's a funny guy who I think would be cool to see in the game. I imagine he could have a moveset revolving around long limbs along with using his clarinet for some of his moves - think Octodad in Fraymakers with a musical twist. Besides, you've gotta admit it'd be priceless to hear Squidward mains complain about the SpongeBob matchup. I mean, c'mon. It's GOTTA happen.
SPONGEBOB ME BOY I MISSED ME STAGE TECH AT 30% AND NOW I'M GONNA DIE ARGARGARGARGARGARG
Chance: 65%
While Squidward's definitely the speculative frontrunner in the race for a fourth SpongeBob rep, I really don't think Mr. Krabs is far behind. He's not quite a "main" character like Squidward arguably is, but in terms of SpongeBob's secondary cast, I'd say Eugene is probably the most prominent and the most memorable of them all. (
Maybe there's a case to be made for Sandy, but honestly, she's more relevant in side material like games and the musical than she is in the actual show. Besides, she's in the game already anyway.) Mr. Krabs is a memorable and hilarious character, and like Squidward, he has memes going for him as well, being featured in just as many if not
more NASB ****posts than Mr. Tentacles is. He wouldn't be hard to make a moveset for, either - as the man himself says, "these claws ain't just for attractin' mates!" I can very easily see them crafting a speedy pseudo-grappler moveset for him, and they could even recycle Business Casual Man's gimmick from Slap City if they wanted to reference his love for money. In short, I think people are really sleeping on this guy right now simply because... he's not Squidward.
Want: 100%
Mr. Krabs has been one of my most wanted characters since day 1. The memes are part of that, I admit, but also Krabs is genuinely one of, if not my favorite SpongeBob character. He's a joy to watch pretty much anytime he's onscreen, he's got an iconic and funny voice, and besides, you can't tell me you wouldn't wanna see that walk in this game. That dashdance would be
INSANE. There's just no reason for me NOT to want him, quite frankly. Yes, please!
DI IN, KRABS
Chance: 50%
If Squidward and Mr. Krabs are in first and second place in the SpongeSlot™ race, Plankton I think is in a semi-distant third. The devs have already made it clear that they don't care about filling in "groups" with this roster, and villains especially don't seem to be a major focus for them this time. Plankton, while certainly a fun character, is pretty firmly behind Squidward and Krabs in terms of importance and popularity. He was in a bunch of the Nickelodeon Super Brawl games, but most of those had at least somewhat of a focus on "heroes vs. villains" as the main theme, which this game clearly doesn't. (Consider that
Abrasive SpongeBob was in the same game as Plankton, and that game also had the Rabbids as villains.) The devs would also have to think of a way to make him work in spite of his small size, which would either mean giving him a mech or some other mount like other Nick fighting games have done or sizing him up awkwardly to make him work as a standalone fighter. Still, as the closest SpongeBob has to a real bad guy, Plankton is worth considering and I think he could potentially get in on pure "we do what we want" factor.
Want: 80%
I don't like Plankton quite as much as Squidward or Krabs, but I do think he could be fun to see. Particularly, I like the idea of him riding around on Karen, though maybe that'd take too much of the focus away from Plankton himself. Still, I do like villains, and if the devs can make it work, I wouldn't mind seeing it. (And I'd love to see the Plankton mains discover a zero-to-death and call it "The Secret Formula," just saying.) I'd just like to see either of Squidward or Krabs get in first, quite frankly.
As always, noms to Carl.