Rate the above user's poem!

[Xegony]

Rules: Be honest. If you have a critique post it. When your done post your poem. It does not have to be your own, it can just be your favorite poem. I'll go first

You remember when I told that I’d not be growing older
And the curtains on my window kept the days from coming
My spine is fixed to the bed in knotted twine-
And oak where you spoke my name-
I creep in stone fixtures at the bottom of the stairs
I sing in broken melodies to moths inside your hair
But still the days grow shorter
As I speak like a child, with my ears pointed at the door
Like a cat at the lap of his master,
Searching for a noise I cannot catch
Smokestack butterflies caught in my throat
Tangled in pink webs of blood
Hung like wings upon your coat.

You can take what I leave
For I don’t need a piece
The fallen leaves are curled upon the porch
And my broken throat is dried and parched
My voice is ripped across the roof and hanging
Ever closer to the floor
You can go if you need
I won’t follow where you lead
The lines in the sand
And the footprints in the mud
Are drawn to this door, and no longer
And where the garden used to grow my tiny fists now slumber
And the stones upon the pond are breaths I never took;
Fires I never doused from your porcelain head
I can’t be bothered to think about the things I never thought
Pushed through the windmill
Down the stairs
Into an apparition’s maw
Slowly tumbling and caught-
Pierced with requisite fear
With every breath I drew
Picked the apple far too early
And now it’s turning blue

I don’t remember where you live anymore
And yet I feel drawn to the lamp on your porch
Even when I don’t believe in you, I can still feel you
That chills beneath my bones, it kills my thoughts
I’ve stared down the sun until it left my sight
And the night was cold and black- but still
I’ve shouted cold blood at the moon
And spit my lungs in dismissal
Yet still the morning tells me that it’s time to go to sleep
That it could tie me to a leash
But never really keep me
I don’t walk through the snow in my head
I float over it
I don’t try to find your house anymore
And the streets are emptier than my hands
My eyes are never open
And I never understand
Why relationships in life are such a bore.

 

[Virgilijus]

I, for one, really enjoyed it. The imagery is fantastic (save a few instances where I felt it was slightly forced; pink webs of blood,porcelain head) and really connects the turmoil and grief of the author. Who would have thought such beautiful descriptions could be born of anger? But really, a first class poem in my opinion.

I woke up again
In the moonlit valley.
With bare feet
And mind,
I breathed the cold wind.
I was alone,
Save the Moon,
Who had cleaved the mountains;
The trenchant path
That lay before me.
And without hesitation
My ribs stretched the skin,
The flesh became lite.
The endless fields rolled.
And without hesitation,
I ran.

 

[applejack]

I like how the last line is short and quick like he is saving his breath, I don't know how to describe why I like it, I just do. and I can imagine the moon coming through the mountains and lighting a path. Very good.
I haven't read this poem in awhile so it might be a little off but I remember the gist of it:

Some say the world will end in fire
Some say in ice
but from what I've tasted of desire
I'm with those that favor fire
But if it had to perish twice
I can say that the strength of hate
Would suffice

I like how he gives accurate descriptons of emotions. hate is cold and hard like ice. anger and desire are ever changing and feeding like fire.
I'm surprised there aren't more posts here, this is a good topic. Well done Xegony.

 

[Xegony]

I like the metaphor of hate being like ice: I.E. cold and unyielding. It has a nice flow that I can't really put my finger on. Here's one that needs a rewrite but I still like.

Walking home,
Each step another reason to atone
Every step telling me I'm moving on
The blades of grass singing in suburban lawns

Singing of redemption and contempt
A soul of contention and failed attempts
May finally find some peace in the turmoil
And tempers might actually cease to boil

Love is difficult to understand
Unfair mistress, beauty's right hand
But for sure the one thing that redeems the lover's fate
Is embracing someone before the sun says it's too late

I looked up to the sun that day,
While walking along sun-baked clay
I saw it pierce the clouds that were held so dear
The past dissolving into the realm of yesteryear

So now that I've been freed from painful past
With a love of life and heartache vanishing so fast
A girl I care for wrapped in my arms
And for once looking in the sun does not harm

These eyes were meant to admire
And bask in the glow of love's fire.

 

[Skywalker]

That poem was . . . beautiful.

 

[applejack]

That poem was . . . beautiful.

I whole heartily agree. that is one of the best poems I've read. the metaphors and imagery and ryming. very good, I'd say you're winning.

 

[EEvisu]

@ Xegony, it flowed very well

mine, I wrote it for english class:


A single rose blooming in the wilds,
Petals like choices in life.
A single Oak growing nearby,
Both yearn to be the other.

The Rose yearns to be tall and strong,
To live for an eternity.
The Oak longs to be small and magnificant,
To sway with the wind and to be loved.

You always want to be something other then yourself,
to better your lesser quality's and prove yourself.
You never realise that no matter what you are,
What you become,
She will always love you for what you were

 

[applejack]

you wrote that?! I'd try to get it in a book or something. the comparisons and lessons are very good, and true, sometimes (depends on the girl). I can't think of any poems right now but how about a riddle?
What is a question you can never, truthfully, answer yes to?

 

[EEvisu]

Hmm thank you my teacher wanted to put a few oh mine online but I declined the offer...

To answer your riddle, "are you dead" if you are then its impossible to answer atleast thats what I came up with, err mabe stick to the topic also dont wanna get introuble you know.

 

[applejack]

thanks EEvisu. there were a few answers: are you dead, are you asleep, are you in a coma. Oh yeah the poem hmm...
roses are red
violets are blue
if can you say yes when you're dead
then its not true

Sorry all out of good ones right now.

 

[Xegony]

lol. anyway, here's a quick one:

Sugar and spice,
and Everything nice,
Makes a girl who ends up
Disloyal, cheating on you thrice (three times)

Love, makes me feel stupid to say
You are all naive!
When the sun sets at the death of the day,
Watch as mud takes the place of where there was clay

What could be formed, what could've been beautiful
Watch in melt into the ground, returned to where it was
And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a fool,
Having been used more than an old mechanic's tool

This lie, the world ecompasses it,
Pass judgement on me will you!
Pass judgement on yourselves!
For you say you won't judge, but you lie through your crooked teeth!

You judge, you look with hateful looks
Cheapskates and liars, burlgars and crooks!
I only gave, and gave, and gave
Nothing in return, my skin hanging on a hook

Cause theirs nothing beneath the surface,
Is there?
Who are you to be different, do you dare?
Or is it that I no longer seem to care

About you, about her, about us,
About life, about death, and if I ******* cuss
Here's a poem for you

Love's folly, a lie as you lay in the field of deciet
And everyone can just **** off, of corruption you all reek
And so you find what you came to seek
Nice guys finish last, and cold ones are always alone

But it's not a difference there
It's just how long the nice guy stays ignorant.

 

[applejack]

That was a quick one?! either you type really fast or you read epic poems. that was a good one though.
wow you have three and I have one and a half. So let's see what I can think of now....

Does the moon follow the sun
Does the sun follow the moon
Is the killer the gun
Or is it the bullet that follows soon

Is the glass half full
Or is it half gone
Do you fear the charging bull
Or the snake in the lawn

There are two sides to every dime
Two faces to every man
Two choices at every time
Two paths at every land

Choose wisely, use all your might
Decide your fate
It could be side of light
Or the side of hate

Wow, I honestly just finished that sitting here on the comp. Please I'm open to critism. I'm just surprised I managed to rhyme.
Sorry it isn't as funny.

 

[EEvisu]

@ applejack, the imergy in that was very good that made the whole poem for me

meh one I wrote for class, I have a flower fetish mabe lol


Petals on a flower
Plucked off one by one
Like the choices in our life
each being eliminated by fate

These choices fall off
falling through the air
They land on the ground
placing our hopes into despair

Despair at the choices we have left
though they seem limited and scarce
they may instead represent something else
Like the light at the end of the tunnel it can turn out to be anything

Edit: if anyone has any poems about animals I'd love to hear them

 

[applejack]

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile.
Okay, EEvisu get poems published, make a fortune, and please send me some money so I can buy Brawl (please?).
Although, you might try to shorten lines 4 and 12, kinda long and don't fit with the others. like each being taken by fate?
Okay animals... any one in particular?

Roses are red
Violets are blue
a dog has a head
and so do you

Sorry, I'm tired. Best I got right now, but I'll think about it.
(who first wrote Roses are red, Violets are blue anyway? always wondered that. And aren't violets more.... uh, purple than blue? )

 

[Xegony]

All true dogs are extinct. The ones you see are animatronic.

Anyway...

A golden sign for my long sigh
These tears have washed away
The pure-blood thought
I still see you, I can see you
Broken on the rocks
This glass heart will turn to crystal
When it ascends, and this black blood
Will be wine, when it ascends
To name no name but he
Who tastes the victory in Death
To him who knows no innocense
Only pain.
I'm shedding your skin, once again, Lamb
No nation; no races, only an opiate
For when the moon turns a fiery crimson
This pheonix will rise again, born of the very flames
That sought to subdue it.
The darkest of hearts, my queen of hearts
It tastes like sand, coarse, and dry
On my soul; cracked and burning
Promise me that you will bring me to my knees
Again and again, over and over. Can't stop, Don't stop
Because I have broke open underneath the milkyway
And I need to feel this; my naked soul
In his eyes, a farewell or goodbye No
It was only the time, only an ash to my wednesday
To my goth, to my scepter of bones as we did
When we kissed bringing down the world
all of my love, and this fate has me thinking/drinking
You can fly, for all your shallow gravity
And In this bitter pavement I'm drowning, Side walk chalk
A broken heart, a terrible sin, a fern that bleeds my blood
For my Poisonous love, crystalis: my eyes
Channeling a greater power; my favorite flower
Deliberately.

 

[EEvisu]

@ applejack, you are an interesting guy lol not a bad short poem for humor

@ Xegony, that was overall just really good man only thing I suggest is working on the struture mabe a little

Random One:

White is black,
House not shack.
Wildfires in society,
Rebelling against natures instinct.
People jumping the fences of sensibility.

Tell me this,
Tell me that.
Firefighters supressing the flames
Ensuring civilisation stays "civilised"
People jumping to the tune of the queen bee.

Rope not string,
Take and Bring.
Friends and comrades in arms,
Staying true to each other and themselves.
People jumping for joy of life.

 

[Xegony]

You really need to have those professionally appraused, they're very good.

here's a flower one for ya.

I left an orchid in the rain,
hoping she would grow for the spring,
I would nurture and love her, never a petal oversee,
should we together the winter overwin

4 weeks have passed, since the winds of autumn left,
my orchid is still of her beauty,
but I am not complete, not yet I can take her,
not sooner than I am ready

Resting with her in my garden,
the ominous, tranquil cloak of pure,
the snow is a struggle her leaves must overwhelm,
if really she loves me, I must be sure

When spring comes, together we go,
to the sunset of my paradise,
the paradise where I can live,

as beautiful as her

...

The spring has now passed,
the snow is now gone,
and with its purity,
Im left sitting in the sun

But no warmth strikes my face,
no light sparks my eye,
no blood flows my veins,
I faithfully left her die

As the forsaken traitor who refused to refuse,
I look back at times, to see my smiles,
unaware it was me who created my own crucifix,
but never I saw nothing but tears from your eyes

When I look at you now,
petals, old and wrinkly,
I cry for the beauty you still behold,

but that I never learned to appreciate

 

[applejack]

Eevisu, get published
Xegony, do read epics or just really long poems? They're very good, just every one you posted has been long. just curious, nothing wrong with epics, actually Homer's Odyssy(spelled that wrong) was pretty good.
This one I wrote a few years ago and forgot about. It isn't very good I know, the ignorance of youth, but is has some good parts. Kinda long though:

The sword is sharp
the arrow true
we march to battle
in the morning's dew

the shield is hard
the spear is long
we ride to war
every soldier strong

they cover the hills
they move like a tide
but we do not cower
we do not hide

the battle begins
our efforts in vain
even with our strength
this will surely be our bane

the battle runs on
our forces diminshed
the fight runs down
our army finished

where is our hope
where is our light
despite our fear
we still fight

the arrow holds true
the sword hits it's mark
We are the Light
we fight the Dark

there is no limit to their numbers
every man takes out ten
we are in the belly of the beast
we are in the Lion's den

Sorry, I have to leave now but I'll finish it later, this is about half. Tell me what you think, Please.

 

[Xegony]

That sounds like a rallying....poem. um, yeah.

I just reread the Inferno. Great book.

Summer said, “think of the warmth we could share”
Winter promised pain and despair
Summer smiled and took me by the hand
But I froze at Winter’s command
Summer helped me blush and bid me stay
But Winter led me away
Summer promised to shield me from the cold
Winter said, “You’ll freeze ‘til you grow old.”
Summer said, “We’ll represent life that never sours.”
Winter countered, “There can be beauty without flowers.”
Summer smiled, “But could you live with that desolate view?”
Winter replied, “Empty spaces are all that’s true.”
Summer held me and said, “I can see the fire in your eyes.”
Winter laughed, “Can it melt the tears that he cries?”
Summer grew frightened. “Don’t let the cold steal your heart!”
Winter laughed, “I needn’t take what was mine from the start.”
Summer assured me, “I’ll always be around.”
But Winter said, “You’re losing your ground.”
Now all the trees were blanketed in snow
We all know there was nowhere else to go
Winter said, “I’ll freeze any tears that you cry.”
Summer collapsed. “Hold me close and watch me die.”

 

[applejack]

I think I'd just read a book with a bunch of poems like this, the ones that tell a story. And I tried to write one.
Wow that was really depressing. very good just depressing.
So now Tale of Battle (what do you think of the title?) part Two:

their sword is getting faster
Uhh! a burning in my shoulder
I am alone now
an ant against a boulder

Ah! the burning make it stop!
I fight for more than my life
I fight for my land
I fight for my wife

I am weary, my shoulders numb
My sword is slow
But I fight on
'Til my blade shall glow

I will surely die today, that's my fate
even this hill's light
cannot save me
nor even this new knight

The world is spinning
the dark is pushed back
I have fallen
the last thing I saw wasn't black


This knight led a new wave
a wave of white horses
they glowed against the black
He led powerful forces

the enemy tripped over it's fallen
In their haste to flee
but they saw a man still fighting
they saw he was injured badly

an arrow in his shoulder
a smile on his face
bodies all around him
like an audience to a race

he looked on the hill and relaxed
he was at peace when he fell
the white knight race to his side
and the man was not well

but the enemy he fought is gone
banished from these reddened hills
their general is jailed
to forever live working in the mills

Well what do you think? not quite LotR I know but not too bad.

 

[EEvisu]

Nice flow applejack I liked that one a lot

oh btw I entered some online poem contest just before it closed so we will see if I win

Poem I entered:

Raindrops falling to the ground
Like my dreams drifting out of my life
Long ago i could look forward to the future
Now i just look back and remember

I remember the feel of the sand
And the smell of her hair
Whatever happened to love
Love that was sweet, pure and innocent

Wilting beneath the preasure of life
I smile at the load
It may be heavy but it's a burden well placed
And i am the only one who may carry it's load

 

[applejack]

Good one.
I hope you win (and what about my Brawl offer?).
Wow I am officially out of poems, no wait let me think:

The water will fall
dripping to the ground
do you hear the storm's call
the signs are all around

Lightning splits the sky
makes it bright in the dark
hear the thunder from on high
listen to the sky's bark

can you feel the rain
like the angel's tears
washing away the pain
washing away the fears

but the tears come hard
and now the rain makes a sound
singing like a bard
yet biting like a hound

now these tears can dry
now the song must end
how silent is the sky
how clean the minds of men

now I will teach
you the message of the rain
a greater power you cannot reach
yet all things have a bane

Whoa, I just made that whole thing up, I guess because it rained here yesterday and today. Tell me what you think.

 

[Virgilijus]

I felt it's flow was jagged. While trying to keep in the rhymn scheme, some thoughts and words were forced in that detracted more than they gave.

With the rhythm of drums
the great legion comes
O, How they Pine for Rome

All the praetors and guards
Stone-faced from afar
O, How they pine for Rome

The air soon seethes
From their barbaric deeds
O, How they pine for Rome

And the fathers now tear
With their daughters so near
O, How they've pined for Rome

 

[applejack]

I felt so too, but I couldn't find I way to fix them. Any suggestions?

Great poem by the way. but what does O, how they've pined for Rome, really mean. I have some guesses but they're probably wrong.

I hope nobody minds if I don't write more poems for a little while. I am all out at the moment.

 

[odonata345]

My Poem?

Ce n'est pas grave, applejack. I've gone through dry periods (quite freqently), so I know that feeling. Here goes nothing:

Snow, already lain
as if a death-white lamb
had been sprinkled on the ground...

Like burning barbs
snow plummetts earthward
exploding in a burst of shiver,
or quietly resting on the ground
sealing Earth from
the life-bearing heat.
Though eloquent,
as though bits of beautfuil
thoughts of heaven
were sent from those who wish us good.

Glass-fragile,
snow is somewhat
like an infant at
first creation, as
it twirls toward its new life.
However, it soon
hardens its heart, to
avoid breaking,
just as we
do.

The snow outside is like,
at once, the sheet used
to cover a dead body and
the blanket with which a
newborn is tucked in.
Chill lingers in the air,
a sure sign of the cold
beauty, or hatred, exuded
by the hardened powder.
By now, the snow
is as a shell, meant
to protect itself and,
perhaps, our own innocent
terra firma.

The multipolaritivity of the
utterly chill snow is
as I am.

I know, it's a sappy nature poem. Too bad.

 

[Xegony]

yeah. Kind of sappy, but still, the imagery is very creative.

@applejack I hate those times. But then something really good or really bad hits me so I write it down and tweak.

I pray for the winter
When the shadows of trees
Are no longer cast,
When the fickle light can only just
Force its way through.

I pray for the winter
When the summer’s sun
Doesn’t wet my skin,
Where I can lie and now not
Be forced down by heat.

I pray for the winter
When the anger of men
Is subdued in the frost and cold,
So they are at peace
And leave me as I wish.

I pray for the winter
When the women who before
Tortured me with their skin,
Now cover themselves in clothes
To protect their youth from the biting wind.

I pray for the winter
When I look to the sky so white
My cracked purple hands,
I then bow my head in quiet solitude
Praying for the warmth of summer.

 

[Virgilijus]

Great poem by the way. but what does O, how they've pined for Rome, really mean. I have some guesses but they're probably wrong.

"O, how they've pined for Rome" means that since they left, they have yearned constantly and persistently to be home with their daughters and families, despite the horrible, bloody battles and wars they fight. Even the soldier is still a father.

Odonata:I feel you got carried away with adjectives. Don't try to carry our hands through the poem, let us see for ourselves what it is with as little help as needed.

Sorry Xegony, we posted at the same time., though I must say I really like your poem; the right amount of meaning mixed with an apt way of showing it.


I try.
I try so hard.
Push my boundaries to the edge
And if I have to topple them
I will.
And all because of one,
That one who changed me;
Unlike any other.
And unaware that the things I do
The person I have become,
Outside and in,
Is all because
She was unlike any other

 

[applejack]

that was very good, I used to think of some of those types. I wonder if I can remember one.
"thinks really hard" Well I remembered one, but it was really bad, so I'll just forget that one.

But I do understand what you mean.

Darn, I just remembered that I wrote a very good (or it seemed good a few years ago) poem about fall, and I lost it a while ago. If I find it or remember it, I will post it here.
but until then:

roses are red
violets are violet
if that poem isn't read
I may get violent

How is that?

 

[Xegony]

It's pwnd only by this tribute,

For the man who said "crikey"

A waterfall was sculpted by
the rivers of your life,
I’m awestruck by its brilliance -
your shrug to mortal strife.

Those riverbanks were battlegrounds -
trademarks of your career;
each crocodile defeated tells
how courage hurdles fear.

Those khakis were your battle gear,
the armour of a knight;
each rugged piece you’d always wear
from day to final night.

The rivulets dried up too soon,
dear friend, the moss still grows,
now spreading vast across the realms
that waning stars enclose.

Someday the sound of rustling grass,
the peace of fluent seas,
will trace the echoes of your laugh
in fondest memories.

 

[EEvisu]

^ wonderful imergy in that one man, very good

Roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
but not as sweet as you

~a little different from my other stuff lol

 

[Virgilijus]

I reserve my comments for another day...


In the barley fields
I found you
As we ran back and forth
Against the wind.
We did not know
Where we were going
But did it matter?
I say 'no', my friend.

 

[EEvisu]

has a nice "young love" flow to it

*sigh* incase you have not seen my other works I'll give you something to comment on now Virgilijus, the last one I posted was a joke...

Where did my minutes turn to years?
Thoughts turn to action, action to regret.
My pain and suffering, hopes and dreams.
Stretched over so much but are so thin.

Where is my holyland, my freedom?
It's here, here I will flow freely.
Here I will see all, I will know all.

The absense of light is darkness, two sides to my coin.
Which side will turn up tomorrow?
Just a blank page in the beginning but now it's my greatest story.
We tore up the land, the sun smiling upon us.

 

[flaco]

I'll tell you of my secret confessions,
Of all my lies and imperfections.
I'll tell you of all the love to display,
For the hungry soul has much to say.

I'll start out with a simple question
To begin my tale of confessions.
Have you ever felt a love that grew
You know you will never love anew?

The screaming does not protest,
Against a simple soft caress.
A small hidden truth is this:
I fell in love by a gentle kiss.

True love can never be explained;
It can tell a story but never be named.
My tale ends with a final confession:
I love with all my heart; that's my imperfection.

 

[Virgilijus]

EEvisu, I knew they were jokes. I just felt it would be more rude not to say anything, if that makes sense...

It's flow isn't very synchronized. Some of the syllables and stresses of the rhyme don't fit in their alloted place. Though I did like the third stanza quite a bit.

When I was born
The doctors told my mother
My heart would not last.
For me, it meant little;
It was all I knew of normalcy.
But my mother wept
And she cried.
She cried all alone
'Til my son came.
A son just like his father.

 

[EEvisu]

7/10 I did not care for the flow on it

random one =/

The tight hallway seemed so empty,
just a flower on the ground.
Miles long but still...tight.
The beginning you could see.
But ... no end in sight.

Clashed behind a door was, sudden
light blinding with such force
you dare not even speak, astounded
by the glow of the flower by your feet.
And then there were some chains that sounded.

Was this more a welcome or a warning to retreat?
But with one way infront and no way back
you simply go and keave behind
what it is you really need
in the haste. The time you can't rewind.

Step by step comes closer, leading
you so close but so far away.
One thing you had forgotten, the key,
reaching to the very end. Realize,
the first time wasn't meant to be.

 

[twally]

7/10 i liked it man. not bad. a little more rhythm would have been cool but i realize some poems aren't meant to have set rhythms. good anyway!

 

[xeno]

Everyone: your poems are amazing! I'm going to read all these tonight.

And my God Twally.. I'm speechless.

 

[EEvisu]

8.5/10 Twally not bad at all

new one:

I want to be in another place.
I need to free my mind blinded,
my heart stunned by this feeling
strange, heats the flesh...my chest.

Against my will i stand,
sit down...no lay with nothing
left to fear, the sound that echoes
in my ears it disappears

into the nothingness it came
from. Under that soil it rests,
waiting to strike again
when i'm defenceless.

I might not fear but I can feel
the world upon my arms
it rests. Will this be the one
and the last of all the tests?

 

[twally]

And my God Twally.. I'm speechless.

8.5/10 Twally not bad at all

Thanks guys for the compliments. That was one of my first attempts at a shakespearean sonnet and also my first decent sounding one too. i was never really good at writing with restrictions, such as sonnet form, but i am trying to adapt because i believe you have to be ecclectic about these things. never hurts to try new things, right!

anyway, EEvisu, i did enjoy your poem. i would say an 8 out of 10, easily. i did like the final stanza. nicely done my friend.

now i just want to say how much i enjoy this thread. it is really nice to have a poetry thread that is actually active! and where people actually give advice! *gasp*. thanks for starting this one up!

now i am sure this against the rules but i am going to post two poems this time. no worries though because you guys can just comment on one if you want. i wouldn't mind. and i believe i posted this in a thread by itself but now that i know about this thread, i am going to stick it here too because i will probably get more feedback here. so here we go...

 

[technomancer]

"certain threat" is a bit forced.
"The righteous one" is an uneccesary identifier and can be cut.
I don't think that Billy's "Cackle" fits the character.

"And so it passed, Billy did quell
The brave young one’s attempts to bring
Freedom for all and thus he fell
To make sweet sovereignty’s bells ring, "
Reads differently than the lines are presented. Also, "Sweet sovereignty's bells ring," is a rough phrase

I liked the theme of the second poem (Tons, actually), but the biggest trouble I'm seeing that both poem's aren't 100% there as far as diction goes, and also look rhtymic but do not read as such. Lol and way to kill the thread with a giant double poem Anyway, Here I go:


Patient
-
We gotta operate on some level here, doc!
Need a brain transplant to the chest STAT!
Just split it open and see what we need when we get there, I figure.
I wonder which organs beat and which play church music?

There's a complication in the operation, son!
Ran out of anesthesia! See if you can rustle some up. For me.
I'm not worried about her, she'll pull through,
Honestly. -

Can't believe he used the plunger on that one.
Just stuck it right on her face!
I think it made things a whole lot worse.
But at least that's settled with him, I guess,
and it's important for the doc to keep a level head.
Unbiased and such.
Hey! Doc! We're outta the chemical kind,
what do you want to do for the knockout?