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Thane of Blue Flames

Thane of Blue Flames

Fire is catching.
Joined
Nov 23, 2013
Messages
3,135
Location
The other side of Sanity
Ginge said:
I made a similar choice for myself. Thirteen years out of twenty-three is more than enough. I can't recall what it feels like to not dislike yourself. Or to not have your mind saying things like "I bet they hate you and talk bad about you when you're not there" or "Why would they ever like you?". And the days when it's at its worst and you can barely get yourself to do anything are frustrating.

So I'm working to see myself the way my friends see me. Convincing myself that they must have reasons to like being around me. And I may even talk to them to hear those reasons instead of coming up with my own. Luckily, it's been eight years since I had suicidal thoughts last. Every time I considered it, I'd start to count the people who would miss me if I died. Initially, I'd only put one or two people on my list as I couldn't see how people would miss someone like me. Then, it gradually included more people.

It's a daunting task, getting over depression. And it doesn't help when your mind is fighting you the entire way. But I just... I want to be happy. And I don't mean like having one day in a month, or one week in a season. I want to be genuinely happy with myself. So I'm taking care of my health issues and I'm taking care of my mental health issues. Then.... who knows, I've forgotten what it's like, so who knows what I'll do.

So, good luck to you, Plum. And may this year work out well for both of us.
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Plum said:
2014 marks the first year I've actually made a resolution for myself.
I'm making this the year I really begin to conquer my depression. And I'm not talking pills or whatever. I can't stand antidepressants. I've been on a multitude of them trying to find the one that works for me... You know how the commercials always include increased thoughts of suicide as a side effect? Well one of them did that to me. Scariest ****ing time of my life. I've felt close to the edge at times... but the key word is "feel." That **** actually took me to the edge. Like made up my mind, going to do it, let's plan it. Backed out of it because of some good friends. And even after dealing with that living hell I told myself I just had to keep trying to find the right medication for me. And I guess I actually did find it, and the stuff actually dragged me out of the dark. But for all the **** depression gives you, there's still those moments that are all but perfect, where you are as happy as can be. And the medication that finally "worked" took those away from me as well. The depression was gone, but so was everything else. It was just like numbing life and not feeling anything anymore. I hated that more than my regular depression. I did it for a few months before making up my mind on antidepressants. If they work for you or somebody you know... man great for them wish I could say the same because it seems like an easy way out... but I couldn't do that.

So yeah, no medication. Talking about overhauling the way I live my life. Less sitting online playing video games (****ing love Smash because I have to get my *** to see people to play). Rekindle my passion for drumming. As I grew older I let gaming take the place of all my other hobbies, but this one I actually regret. Normally I dropped hobbies in favor of more gaming because it was just genuinely less enjoyable, but with drumming it was just my innability to get myself out of bed to play... why do that when I can stay in my room with my computer? So **** that. I can't afford to take lessons again, which I would love to do, but w/e I just want to play and fall back in love with making music. Seriously got to get myself in better shape too. I'm your classic "looks in shape but actually gets winded doing a few flights of stairs" type guy. There was a point where I seriously started to gain weight because of my depression, but over 2013 I did get that under control and I'm back to where I was at the end of high school in terms of weight... but any physicality I had is gone. I've been working on my eating habits, which has been really tough with my food aversions, but I at least cut out junk food and rarely drink sodas/coffee/not water. Get a job I don't hate, and by fall this year I want to be able to go back to school full time to finish.

I feel like if I can get my life on a good path and make some changes to my daily living I can kick depressions ***. Or something... I'm just at that point where people I knew from high school are graduating college and starting careers or moving on to grad school and I'm basically the same person I was when I dropped out of college a few years ago. I'm still struggling with depression and it holds me back from progressing. I'm not saying "I should have my life already figured out like they do" because that's ****ing stupid. Everyone goes at their own pace. I wasn't ready back then, and even right now with me being in school part time at least I still don't think I am. But I'm tired of myself not being ready... so this year is going to be me making myself ready. 22 now, 23 this summer, and hopefully by then I'll be on my way to a new me.
So cheers 2014, and cheers to anybody who was willing to read my ravings. I've got scotch from last night's celebration loosening my lips, and saying this outloud (err typing) reaffirms it for me.
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It gets better. I've been there. You're never fixed 100%, sadly. You'll always have bad days. But sooner or later your good days start to far outnumber them. Eventually.

I didn't take pills, either. I was too scared of what they'd do to me. It worked out.
 
turtletank

turtletank

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jan 12, 2013
Messages
498
Yo Warchamp I seem to be missing my PMBR ribbon, seriously you can trust me I'm head of everything.
 
DrinkingFood

DrinkingFood

Smash Hero
Joined
May 5, 2012
Messages
5,600
Location
Beaumont, TX
Super high quality printing takes time, it's 2014 now we in that 4K definition

@Warchamp7
also is this just me or is text lagging behind severely in the text boxes? Occasionally if I type too much chrome even gives me the "this page is unresponsive" error

it happened twice just while posting this
 
Sizzlorr217

Sizzlorr217

Smash Cadet
Joined
Jul 6, 2013
Messages
34
Location
Germany
In anyone's interest: So basically after 6 years of using the same old and god aweful controller with a somewhat broken control stick, I just bought a new Gamecube Controller off the astore for 42€... that shipping cost...
But still... I'm so happy right now!
 
Sashimi

Sashimi

Smash Ace
Joined
May 25, 2013
Messages
704
I think the TeeSpring people are too busy playing Project M to print our hoodies.
 
Vashimus

Vashimus

Smash Master
Joined
Jan 1, 2013
Messages
3,308
Location
Newark, NJ
Calvo819 said:
i decided 2014 is the year i start showing more self confidence even if i don't actually have it


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"Hey that's great for Calvo, being forthright like that. I feel inspired again!"

*just went to the mall to pick something up and sees pretty lady sitting down*

"Excuse me, miss? Hi! Just wondering, are you single?"

---"Umm... no? Why?”

"I was about to walk by but saw you and thought you were really cute, sooo yeah! I'm Vash."

---"Oh thank you! I'm (so-and-so)."

*sat and talk for a bit*

"Well, I gotta go before the snow really hits. You doing anything Saturday?"

--"Not really, no?"

"Well if I can come up with something, I'll call you to hang out. Sound good to you?"

---"As much as I'd like to...I have a boyfriend."

"That's OK, he can come too!"

--- *laughs*

"Really, it's fine. He won't know."

---"But I will..."

"So will I. We can cherish it like our own little secret."

--- *smiles*

"See, you wouldn't be smiling if you weren't interested."

--- *laughs* Okay. *gives number*

*Vash hugs her farewell and realizes what he just did*

Lesson: Don't listen to Calvo. He'll turn you into a douchey girlfriend snatcher. :(
 
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9bit

9bit

BRoomer
BRoomer
Joined
Jun 28, 2005
Messages
2,740
Location
Illinois
Everything on the internet is 100% true

I have a massive dong and am a god at Smash

See?
 
Paradoxium

Paradoxium

Smash Master
Joined
Sep 7, 2012
Messages
3,019
Location
New Sand Fall
**** yea, IM BACK MOTHER****ERZ!!!
2014!!

**** **** **** ****

AS MY RESOLUTION I WILL TRY MY HARDEST TO RESTRAIN FROM BEING A COLLOSAL **** BLANKET!

So from this moment forward I shall treat you people with the upmost respect and courtesy, and refrain from assholing around and performing acts of douchebaggery on swf

2014 is going to be a hard year...

#MELEEGANGORDONTBANG
 
Vashimus

Vashimus

Smash Master
Joined
Jan 1, 2013
Messages
3,308
Location
Newark, NJ
It's hard to change who we are. If you try to get rid of your **** blanket ways, it will creep back eventually. Like fleas.
 
Soft Serve

Soft Serve

softie
Premium
Joined
Dec 7, 2011
Messages
4,164
Location
AZ
I got my shirt in the mail from Teespring today. No way I was getting a hoodie, Here in AZ we have like 2 weeks where its even cold enough for sweaters.
 
Paradoxium

Paradoxium

Smash Master
Joined
Sep 7, 2012
Messages
3,019
Location
New Sand Fall
Vashimus said:
It's hard to change who we are. If you try to get rid of your **** blanket ways, it will creep back eventually. Like fleas.
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Hey shut the **** up you ****ing *****! I'm trying to be nice and you doubt me you ****ing idiot, i will be nice regardless of what you assholes believe, GO DIE ASSHOLE!!
 
SpiderMad

SpiderMad

Smash Master
Joined
May 6, 2012
Messages
4,968
  • Apex: If the match goes to sudden death due to a suicide move (Ganon’s side-B, Kirby/DDD’s swallow, holding someone in a grab on a platform as it moves out of the boundaries, etc.), the one who initiated the move wins.
Surprised this is the ruleset, given I thought it used to be they lost and Ganon's side-b was designed/changed to make him lose each time. It's more hype though

Also I haven't heard anything about Air Dash Online lately..oh, thier site's gone. Well that sucks =/
 
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hotdogturtle

hotdogturtle

Smash Master
Joined
Feb 15, 2007
Messages
3,503
SpiderMad said:
  • Apex: If the match goes to sudden death due to a suicide move (Ganon’s side-B, Kirby/DDD’s swallow, holding someone in a grab on a platform as it moves out of the boundaries, etc.), the one who initiated the move wins.
Surprised this is the ruleset, given I thought it used to be they lost and Ganon's side-b was designed/changed to make him lose each time. It's more hype though
Click to expand...
That rule (initiator wins) has always been used in tournaments.
 
Plum

Plum

Has never eaten a plum.
Premium
Joined
Jun 28, 2008
Messages
3,458
Location
Rochester, NY
I don't know about Ganon's Side B... because it will have me win from the suicide like 9/10 times despite the changelist saying I should always lose.
Still randomly makes me lose though. :drshrug:
But that rule is nothing new.
 
Paradoxium

Paradoxium

Smash Master
Joined
Sep 7, 2012
Messages
3,019
Location
New Sand Fall
Anyone have any suggestions for a good anime too watch right now?
I just finished all my series and I can't find one that is interesting and that I haven't watched :(
 
Hungry Headcrab

Hungry Headcrab

Smash Ace
Joined
Jul 6, 2013
Messages
541
Location
Washington
Plum said:
I don't know about Ganon's Side B... because it will have me win from the suicide like 9/10 times despite the changelist saying I should always lose.
Still randomly makes me lose though. :drshrug:
But that rule is nothing new.
Click to expand...
My understanding is that port priority plays a role. Ganon on a higher port may randomly win, while lower port Ganon always loses. I haven't tested it out myself, but that's what I've heard.

I would love to have a consistent victory though. I hate the thought of having that awkward moment when I have to explain to someone that I actually won, despite what the game says.
 
HyperrCrow

HyperrCrow

Emotional Reality
Joined
Mar 1, 2013
Messages
1,422
Location
Boston, MA
Paradoxium said:
Anyone have any suggestions for a good anime too watch right now?
I just finished all my series and I can't find one that is interesting and that I haven't watched :(
Click to expand...
Kill la Kill wont be back until next week, so you should watch the Monogatari series if you haven't.
 
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