People don't change because others will not view them as anything else?

[starcock]

A example is a bully, he/she been one for a very long time but then realizes that they want to change their outlook on how people view them. The problem is, when they attempt a change, people already have their view on them as being a bully and no matter what that person does, they won't be seen as anything else but a bully. Since they already labeled this person and wrapped their credibility around the fact that they are a bully, the actual bully that is trying to change now sees no point and is fustrated so chooses to remain a bully and embrace it. Better to be accused of something you are than accused of something you changed about yourself in the past that may not be true anymore.

What do you think? Do people not change certain bad qualities about themselves because no one will ever let them live it down?

 

[cuppiecakes]

Sadly people sometimes do that :/

But that doesn't mean its the best thing all the time Dx

peer pressure!!

 

[starcock]

So, whos fault is it? The Bully, or the society in general and why?

 

[Firebert]

It's kind of a combination of the two. The bully, though they tried to change, gave up when the faced the opposition. Society refused to view them differently, so they also were to blame.

 

[IceEmblem]

That is completly untrue, if a bully became nice, and showed everyone he had changed by doing 5000 hours of community service, he has changed.

of topic: Did you say GYROMITE!

 

[Zero Beat]

Ah, yes! Interesting topic. Came up in my AP English class last semester.

I can't help it but quote T.S. Elliot on this one.

"There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;............."

"And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?"

Man..what a poem! That section's very fitting too. If anyone wants to read it and analyze it, it's called 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,' by T.S. Elliot.

 

[Deleted member]

This topic=Proof that Foster won't ever think of me as anything other than gay. Also, why *CENSORED NAME* will probally never, as they in kid speak, like like me, despite us having been aquaintences for years.

 

[Xsyven]

I moved to a different school in the middle of my high school career. I'd make friends with people my other friends hated because of things they did back in middle school.

It's funny how I'd consider a lot of people cool that other people hated due to stupid drama they had as 14 year olds.

 

[OffTheChain]

I've given people the benefit of the dout a few times before and not lived to regret it, if someone really wants to make the effort to change then they need to be willing to expect that some people may or may not believe its sincere and keep moving forward regardless.

 

[Wangler]

Hi! Kinda new here, but I like this discussion. I just wanted to add that if one chooses to be a bully, you have to expect to be feared and disliked. But simply because one wants to change doesn't mean that everyone around them WILL change at the same speed they do. If one is accustomed to being treated badly they may welcome you with open arms simply because you say you've changed. Actions speak louder than words. You must show that you've changed, by being kind over a period of time, rather than simply stating you're no longer a bully and expecting those around you to immediately acknowledge your bettering of yourself.

 

[Dr. James Rustles]

Doing something (wrong or not) can have lasting 'social stain' effects; People who don't know anything about me or my situation have tried to give me the "Come to Jesus" talk before. Man, when they strut all up in your business it gets really annoying.

 

[Junpappy]

The people that should matter will eventually let it go. F**k everyone else that won't.

 

[starcock]

The people that should matter will eventually let it go. F**k everyone else that won't.

Ah, the problem with that is you need other people believe it or not to view you as something good. Say you had a jail record at 18 but you changed, try getting a good job after that, people will still view you as the jail person no matter what. What people think of you does dictate how you live or what options you have aswell as limitations.

 

[Vinnie275]

People that judge you are worthless, and if you involve them in your life you devalue it. Make friends with rounded people and keep company that you look up to.

Your traits are absorbed from those around you, you will rub off your habits on others as well.

The bully type, jail type, that gets stereotype will hang out with other bullies and jail birds. If they commune with say, motorcyclists, they will have less time for trouble and more for biking.

 

[Dr. James Rustles]

Fortunately (for me) juvenile records are closed after one turns 18; Has anyone ever got the feeling they were being stalked by government workers? I gave my Psychology teacher my email address (he was taking them up from everyone) and later that year he called me a bridge-burner... the only way he would conclude this was by viewing my email!