Not being Mormon at a Mormon University

[Sinz]

Link to original post: [drupal=2841]Not being Mormon at a Mormon University[/drupal]



I was raised as a Mormon my entire life. I don't believe in it, but my family does. My family has the money, and I don't. So, I am at BYU.


It's quite the awkward life. The travails of each day can be overwhelming. At BYU (Brigham Young University) we are required to take a total of 14 religion hours, which are seven classes over the course of 8 semesters. The fact that we have so much religion shoved down our throats isn't actually that bad. It creates an atmosphere of learning and the people here like hearing their gospel taught to them in a new light. The people here are very religious, which can be a burden for me. I get invited to go to their wards (Mormon churches are divided into regions, then stakes, then wards, and branches.) rather often. People even start to consider me their personal project.

I am a person, not a project. I don't want to be worked on; I want to be appreciated for what I do. I want to do well here and excel in my classes. I am a person. The people who make me their project are often the girls I take a little bit of interest in. It really sucks. Don't treat anyone like they are a project, they are people. They want to have fun, they want to be challenged, they want to grow, and they don't need you examining their every move. Please don't do this, especially if you are of the opposite sex.

Then there is the fact that I literally have no chance with any single girl here. Each one of these girls is here to get married and live their dream life. The instant they find out that I am not Mormon they pretend its fine. Then I never hear from them again. I want to find someone to love, but I can't here. It seems like I am just stuck.

I have three and half years left here in Utah. It seems the best way for me to fit in would be to just become Mormon, even though I don't believe in it. I don't want to be a hypocrite, but I hate being an outcast of the people. I am not some sort of disease, I am a person.

 

[Sucumbio]

"I am not a number! I am a free man!"

That sucks. Of all the religions to be born into, and not truly feel passionately about yourself, ugh, I don't envy you. At least I could escape Christianity long enough to come back to it on my own terms, my own time... but Mormons... dunno what to say except, the education is worth it, I suppose. Once you're out though, you may have to leave to be free, or live a lie the rest of your life, which from personal experience, is very difficult, if not impossible.

 

[CRASHiC]

Make a compromise.

Join the choir. That will make you Mormon enough.

 

[Kofu]

@Sucumbio: the Mormon's aren't bad. Where are you getting your information?

Sinz, if you know what the Mormons are commanded to do, then you know why some consider you a project, although it seems like some people are trying repeatedly to get you to come even though they know you don't want to, which is stupid (of them).

I don't know your parents, but do they know that you don't believe it? You might as well ask them if you can transfer schools if you haven't already. ;P

 

[Sucumbio]

I didn't mean to imply they're bad. Actually I don't think I even did. What I was saying, quite literally, is that it's difficult to be involved in a religious community and family, when you don't actually believe in said religion. And by this, I do not envy him. And also by this, he will have to choose, between living the lie he's currently living, or going the path of a "non-believer."

Now by this, I may have suggested that Mormons don't forgive their members who fall out, or whatever, but that's just from experience. To not believe, is to almost ask to be disowned. Maybe that particular family was absurdly devout or something, or just a bad example of Mormons in general, and so my perception is skewed.

But if he does decide to just go with the flow and ignore the fact he doesn't believe, go through the motions... he WILL have a harder time, and that's from personal experience also. I used to sit in church feeling like a total impostor, because I honestly thought everyone else was ******** and wasting their time, and by extension, my time. It wouldn't be until years later that I developed my own sense of faith, and came back to Christianity, that I would stop feeling that way.

Hope that clarifies ^^

Oh and for the record I personally believe the Mormons to be a cult. No offense intended to any Mormon posters

 

[Anthony523]

Well first off please DON'T become Mormon just to fit in with the crowd, everyone is unique, so be unique in your own way instead of conforming to the "ideals".

Also my one friend goes to a Catholic University but they don't really press the religion on the students.
Which is why this blog somewhat surprised me, as church and state are separate and should stay that way.
At my school if ANY teacher tried to press religious ideas on ANY student they could face some very serious consequences such as being fired or suspended.

 

[Sinz]

Seperation of Church and State was originally made to protect religions from being controlled by government. fyi.

 

[00000]

Seperation of Church and State was originally made to protect religions from being controlled by government. fyi.

Or rather, vice versa?

 

[cutter]

Or rather, vice versa?

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

Case in point, look at modern-day Saudi Arabia and Iran as well as medieval Western Europe. That's basically what happens when you don't have separation of church and state. The religion becomes the government.

 

[CRASHiC]

Or rather, vice versa?

No, it really was started to keep the government out of religion. Many people who came to this country came to work on rich people's land in return to practice their own religion freely. However, the separation is still there, and with good reason, and should remain there no matter how much the Neo-cons wish to change it.

 

[jivegamer]

I tend to agree with CRASHiC and Sinz. Members of minority sects didn't want Episcopalians (what many of the founding fathers where) dictating "national religious doctrine" to them. It's actually kind of a modern interpretation that it's meant to keep religion out of government. I WANT religion out of government personally though.

To answer the original post, you cannot be Mormon if you don't actually believe. You can say that you're Mormon, and try to fit in with the community, but believing is a whole other matter. I can't say anything other than to do what you think is right.

 

[altairian]

Separation of church and state has nothing to do with private schools, fyi o_O

But anyways to the OP, it sucks that you're stuck at BYU, but just know that there is life outside and after college. Maybe try to spend more time off campus (although the surrounding region is pretty mormon-dominant as well, isn't it?) or heck just meet women online. And I bet you're not the ONLY person in your situation, maybe you'll come across a girl that also doesn't believe and you happen to get along well with her. Just keep yourself open to new things and stay true to yourself.

Oh, is the 2 year mission a requirement for the school or is it part of the religion? I don't know that much about it but I had one mormon friend that went to BYU and he talked about the 2 year mission but I kind of lost contact with him after high school so I never really knew the exact details of it all.

 

[-Mars-]

Hey Sinz try being black & not mormon and living in Utah xD. But seriously I know what you mean. The missionaries keep bugging me up here every weekend and i try to be nice and i even went to one of their dumb social things just so they would leave me alone but yea it can be really hard at times.

For the girl part......I recommend Salt Lake City or Ogden, lot of fish up there for ya.

 

[Sucumbio]

Somehow i stopped reading your OP before I got to the girl part >.> ... that mormon family i mentioned, well there were sisters, one really hot too, the other, not so much... but the hot one, well she did in fact marry her first bf from highschool, and he did in fact convert to mormonism, the other, the younger 'rebel' ... no idea what happened to her. when I scan the older sister's facebook, she doesn't appear as a friend. no mention of her in any of our mutual friends networking sites, blogs, or anything. its as if she never existed. some think she ran away... hm.

lol separation of church and state actually served both purposes, though CRASHiC et al are correct, it was to prevent a State religion, which is what England (C.O.E.) has; my dad was a part of it, but when he moved here he became episcopal cause it was basically the same thing service-wise... it's also technically what I was baptised under though now I attend catholic mass, for far more personal reasons. If he knew he'd **** a brick. "You're WHAT?" hahaha. eh.

As for living a lie, I thought of one I currently live. My parents to this day do not know I smoke. I think they suspect it, but I've never admitted it, and they've never brought it up. It's ... the last one thing that I do that I'm not proud of that they don't know about. Well besides attending Catholic mass, but I honestly feel more worry about the smoking thing being exposed than the religion thing and I'm not.. not proud of that. <.<

 

[Kofu]

For the record I AM Mormon, fyi.

I didn't mean to imply they're bad. Actually I don't think I even did. What I was saying, quite literally, is that it's difficult to be involved in a religious community and family, when you don't actually believe in said religion. And by this, I do not envy him. And also by this, he will have to choose, between living the lie he's currently living, or going the path of a "non-believer."

Alright, fair enough.

Now by this, I may have suggested that Mormons don't forgive their members who fall out, or whatever, but that's just from experience. To not believe, is to almost ask to be disowned. Maybe that particular family was absurdly devout or something, or just a bad example of Mormons in general, and so my perception is skewed.

Just because one doesn't live the faith doesn't mean that we (as a people) disown them. Some people do, but it's not what we teach. They may become excommunicated from the Church, but that does NOT mean we should ignore them; in fact, I'd say just the opposite.

But if he does decide to just go with the flow and ignore the fact he doesn't believe, go through the motions... he WILL have a harder time, and that's from personal experience also. I used to sit in church feeling like a total impostor, because I honestly thought everyone else was ******** and wasting their time, and by extension, my time. It wouldn't be until years later that I developed my own sense of faith, and came back to Christianity, that I would stop feeling that way.

Yeah just do it your way, don't hide how you feel.

Oh and for the record I personally believe the Mormons to be a cult. No offense intended to any Mormon posters

I'd argue this but take it to PM if you want to. ;P

 

[Sinz]

Yeah, I wrote this blog to explain to a lot of people why I am at a mormon university. Some people have been wondering and have asked me what its like.

But gonna be honest, having 70% of my tuition paid for by the LDS church is pretty rockin. The rest is a challenge. I have been trying to reach out to other schools and see if I can find anyone over there. But, alas no luck.


Mars. hook me up.

 

[Sucumbio]

I'd argue this but take it to PM if you want to. ;P

Nah, I was kinda being a jerk, I'm sorry.

 

[Kofu]

Nah, I was kinda being a jerk, I'm sorry.

'Tis fine, don't worry about it.
I've heard that people often consider any religion that isn't theirs to be a cult-- which almost sounds accurate lol

 

[El Nino]

If I'm not mistaken, I think the difference between a cult and an organized religion is that a cult worships its leader(s), whereas a religion does not. And though religions can be very controlling of their congregations, cults exert even more control.

 

[DelphinusMach1]

Cult pejoratively refers to a group whose beliefs or practices could be considered strange or sinister.

Yeah... basically every religion. Catholics believe they eat human flesh and are good for doing so, for example. Hell, even Buddhism suffers from some of this.

Oh, and Romans 10:

"For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence [sic] of their error which was meet."

I fail to see how viewing all homosexuals as evil isn't "strange or sinister". Oh, and this applies to all branches of Christianity and presumably to Judaism too.

 

[El Nino]

That's how people use the term, yes. I was trying to come up with the legal definition, which escapes me at the moment. Cults are classified separately from organized religions because even practitioners of religions are capable of free will. With actual cults, there appears to be a significant psychological difference in the degree of control individuals have over themselves. In this thread, we have someone who admits to leaving his religion and coming back to it later. Also, the OP was raised under a certain religion, but he does not follow it. That all suggests some degree of free movement and thought, which cultists don't have.

 

[PokemonMasterIRL]

Sinz just be yourself man, you dont want a girl whos dream is to be married at 18 and have 20 kids.

You'll find someone, be patient.

Camp them hoes in real life.

 

[-Mars-]

Few Mormon girls I know want to have 20 kids, they pretty much get married so early so they're allowed to have sex lmao.

 

[Reaver197]

So, the amount of money you save is worth having to deal with a religion and a culture you otherwise don't buy into?

Also, if you really think about it, there really isn't any clear distinction between what merits being called a "religion" and a "cult".

 

[Silly Kyle]

Mormons are definitely a cult!!