No ****.

[Sucumbio]

Link to original post: [drupal=4868]No ****.[/drupal]



http://www.justice4caylee.org/t9110-alexandria-leigh-warner-5-yo2010-topeka-ks-texhoma-ok

So, ^ is a link to a sad story about a woman and her daughter.

A woman who just happens to be my ex. Heh... we'd dated for years before deciding to just be friends. She met her husband on my computer. I was the sole witness at their wedding. I helped them move to Ohio.

Years later, they would divorce, and she would decide it wasn't cool to keep in touch anymore.

So I relented, and though I would think of her from time to time, I did not make any attempt to get back in touch with her, as I was sure she'd not be interested.

And now she's dead. And her daughter, dead. One killing the other and then herself.

And all I can think of to say at this point is...

No ****.

It's kinda messed up. I'm not sure how I should be feeling, or what I am feeling. I wouldn't have even known if her brother whom I used to hang out with found me on FB and messaged me "yo, you hear about my sis?"

What a world.

 

[Life]

*gives Sucumbio a hug*

 

[frotaz37]

There's no such thing as "should be feeling" when it comes to how you feel about something.

 

[#HBC | ZoZo]

Wow that's sudden.

Sort your things out. I really wouldn't know what to feel in your place ._.

 

[Patinator]

o_o Oh, wow... that's awful. D: Sorry, Sucumbio...

 

[Pachinkosam]

watch your grammar

 

[FoxBlaze71]

Watch needs to be capitalized, and you could add either a period or exclamation point at the end since it's an imperative sentence.

Watch your grammar.

 

[Vinylic.]

Both of you. Stop.


My condolences, sucumbio. I hope things go out well in the future.

 

[Fuujin]

Well she was obv crazy.
You should be glad you didn't stay with her.

 

[Vermanubis]

I can't even imagine how close that's gotta hit to home, man. What Frotaz said has some truth to it; this early on, you aren't "obliged" to feel any specific feeling. I know that when my grandpa died, I felt so odd not crying at his funeral, but it's because it was still so surreal. Things sometimes don't hit home for a while.

Really sorry to hear all of this, man. That's really just... wow.

 

[Holder of the Heel]

Well considering your reaction is "No ****", I can't say you are too emotionally struck. Though I'd say that is a good thing.

 

[FoxBlaze71]

Frotaz said it perfectly. When it hits home, you'll feel it, but I'm sure it isn't easy to process.

Sorry to hear this.

 

[Fuujin]

Why would he be depressed his ex was crazy and a murderer???

As I said he should be glad he got away from her when he did.

Sad what happened to the kid though.

 

[Falconv1.0]

Why would he be depressed his ex was crazy and a murderer???

As I said he should be glad he got away from her when he did.

Sad what happened to the kid though.

Yes, why would a woman someone had feelings for turning out to be unstable and being overcome by that make a rational human being feel a little down.

What the ****, I thought I was supposed to be the unfeeling prick around here.

 

[Evil Eye]

Fret not, Falcon. That's a lady gaga fangasmer, not a person.

Anyway, Sucum, that is absolutely awful to picture. It's even weirder for me to imagine now as I approach my mid-20s and have friends that have children and stuff. And of course you never really know what's going down with an ex or any kind (friend, lover, etc) when they drop out of contact for whatever reason, and you can't help but wonder.

 

[Sucumbio]

Thanks everyone...

Yeah, I guess it just hasn't "clicked" or whatever, but it's definitely getting closer. I already feel really angry at myself for not trying harder to keep our friendship going. I mean there's more to it than just she decided not to talk anymore. For whatever reason my facebook friends list got jacked and half of my contacts were gone, so I had to start re-adding them. I added her ex-husband Steve (who is a talented artist and was a good friend, though I haven't heard from him for 2 years now) but I hadn't added Rosa back yet. Next thing you know she's e-mailing me talking about "I see you're friends with steve but not me, so lose my number" and here I am like "what? you're already on my friends list" which was a genuine oversight, plus I hadn't gotten any requests.

As it turns out she -was- sending me requests, but my wife who admittedly was jealous was declining them. ugh. I didn't get mad at that then, and I'm not mad about it now, but it does make me wonder what would have happened if Rosa and I had kept in touch.

There's all kinds of questions rolling around in my mind now. What was she running from? Her divorce had been finalized earlier that month, and then inexplicably she grabbed up her kid out of school and drove southwest, breaking down in Texhoma, OK. Was that the last straw? She'd paid cash for a hotel room that the sheriffs took her to but that'd be the last anyone saw of her alive, or her 5 year old.

And yes, I too feel mostly sad for the child. She was totally innocent in all this, and it was stated that her ex-husband was filing for long-distance parenting rights, where you can have the child with your for x-months out of the year. Maybe not the best choice for a child, but it's a sure fire way to ensure both biological parents remain in the child's life. Maybe she didn't want anything to do with it? It's all so strange a decision, so unlike her to just give up and run away.

But the murderous impulse... I actually am not so surprised.

We had a cat together, and when she and her then husband moved in together, she kept the cat. Once she was pregnant she was SO sure that the cat would try to harm her baby, so she at first de-clawed it, thinking that'd make it "safe" to be around the child. When the child was born, the cat's demeanor was such that Rosa was convinced the cat had to go. She offered to give it back to me temporarily until her kid was "old enough" but my wife said "no way, if she sends us the cat, we're keeping it for good."

Rosa's solution? She put the cat down.

I never did quite feel right about that decision... it was ... almost sociopathic. She'd fought tooth and nail to keep the cat, even when we were together and threatened with eviction for living somewhere that didn't allow pets, she fought to keep the cat. It was her baby...

So much to think about now. I may spring for the "memory book" fee to unlock the online guest book from her funeral so that people who are just now finding out like myself can say something... but it's more than I can afford at the moment. And my wife may not approve... we'll see. Ugh.

Anyway, thanks again, everyone. I just needed the cathartic effect of smashboards, and you all definitely don't disappoint ^^

 

[Fuujin]

What the ****, I thought I was supposed to be the unfeeling prick around here.

Mmm yeah, I probably have you beat by a pretty big margin on that one.

Rosa's solution? She put the cat down.

What a *****.

 

[Evil Eye]

Honestly, this is one of those situations where if your lovely wife and life partner should just get the **** over any kind of harbored jealousy or angst. You have suffered a huge and soul-shaking loss, and she should support the things you need to get through this. There's no room for pettiness here, especially when a ghost is even less a threat to her place in your life than an old, exceptionally extinguished flame.

I don't mean to be rude, just blunt. Your wife's job is to support you right now, she has no right to dictate how you grieve the loss of an old and close friend in such a harrowing and tragic manner. No right. Don't tell her that as bluntly as I have, obviously, but that kind of behavior is selfish and unfair. She loves you, you love her. You lost someone and need to do whatever it is you need to do to let closure. Take her opinion out of the equation on this one.