Need some friendly advice :3

[M@v]

Link to original post: [drupal=4000]Need some friendly advice :3[/drupal]



Hey guys whats up, I wanted to write this blog up because I'm in one of those situations where I really don't know how to proceed. It falls into the dating/relationship category so you know where this is heading.

Anyway, there's a girl a met at the beginning of last semester through class(College), and we quickly became friends. We hung out a decent amount and would grab lunch together a lot. Over time I've developed some strong feelings for her. We still hang out and talk a lot, and I've even treated her to dinner a couple times. Tl;dr done pretty much everything you can do that isn't dating. Now I know she likes me a lot as a friend, and I suspect she has some feelings for me as well. Here is when the "Where do I go from here?" comes in:

-I don't know 100% if she has feelings for me, and how strong they are.

-She broke up with someone last semester(it was a very calm one, they are still friends).

-the only hint I've gotten was one night in November I overheard her saying she doesn't feel like dating at that point.

I'm not really sure where to go from here. What does everyone think? I don't want to risk the really good friendship for opening my mouth too early, but at the same time it probably isn't the best idea to do nothing. Right now I've just been trying a sort of middle of the road approach and been subtle about it.

 

[The Nameless Wanderer]

The more time you take going through all of your thoughts and angles , the more satisifed you are going to be with your choice.

Although personally I would go with asking her out on a casual date type of thing.

 

[_umbra_]

oh snaps, you mean the teen titan?

go get it sonnnnn

 

[Falconv1.0]

oh snaps, you mean the teen titan?

go get it sonnnnn

The hell are you talking about?

Ask her if she likes you, go nuts from there.

 

[_umbra_]

it's almost as if I know him, and posted in a way that would only make sense to him...

 

[Jam Stunna]

Ask her if she likes you, go nuts from there.

I concur. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[Teran]

I'm pretty sure you're in the friend zone.

BUT

As the others said, you don't know until you go for it. I mean really, what is there to be afraid of? The only thing that ever stops a guy from asking a girl out is the fear of damaging his ego. Put that aside and you're awwwwwwriiiiight.

 

[Falconv1.0]

I'm pretty sure you're in the friend zone.

BUT

As the others said, you don't know until you go for it. I mean really, what is there to be afraid of? The only thing that ever stops a guy from asking a girl out is the fear of damaging his ego. Put that aside and you're awwwwwwriiiiight.

But what if she stops wanting to be friends and things get awkwa-

Yeah who cares it's highschool, unless it's almost definitely just gonna lead to stupid ****, just DO EET.

 

[Omnicron's Baklava Enterprises]

Link to original post: [drupal=4000]Need some friendly advice :3[/drupal]



Hey guys whats up, I wanted to write this blog up because I'm in one of those situations where I really don't know how to proceed. It falls into the dating/relationship category so you know where this is heading.

Anyway, there's a girl a met at the beginning of last semester through class(College), and we quickly became friends. We hung out a decent amount and would grab lunch together a lot. Over time I've developed some strong feelings for her. We still hang out and talk a lot, and I've even treated her to dinner a couple times. Tl;dr done pretty much everything you can do that isn't dating. Now I know she likes me a lot as a friend, and I suspect she has some feelings for me as well. Here is when the "Where do I go from here?" comes in:

-I don't know 100% if she has feelings for me, and how strong they are.

-She broke up with someone last semester(it was a very calm one, they are still friends).

-the only hint I've gotten was one night in November I overheard her saying she doesn't feel like dating at that point.

I'm not really sure where to go from here. What does everyone think? I don't want to risk the really good friendship for opening my mouth too early, but at the same time it probably isn't the best idea to do nothing. Right now I've just been trying a sort of middle of the road approach and been subtle about it.

Forever friend zone.

 

[M@v]

But what if she stops wanting to be friends and things get awkwa-

Yeah who cares it's highschool, unless it's almost definitely just gonna lead to stupid ****, just DO EET.

Its college but thats not too important to this convo xD

 

[Falconv1.0]

Its college but thats not too important to this convo xD

Even less important!

Just **** her! **** her and leave! But uh, seriously, just go for it.

 

[SkylerOcon]

Try flirting with her a bit and see how she reacts. If she really starts to flirt back, then hey, go for it, but if she just flirts for a bit and loses interest after a bit, then you probably shouldn't risk the friendship.

 

[Teran]

Being friends with someone you find attractive is a bit of a hopeless situation, I would personally say it's all or nothing.

GO FOR IT FULL FORCE.

Neither way is really wrong, you should weigh in what you're willing to risk and what you honestly want before doing anything.

I'm just not one to care that much about consequences whereas most are, so if you're looking for safety and possible success I'd listen to Skyler. If you're looking for jackpot or broke, follow my method.

 

[SkylerOcon]

Or just take Teran's method to the extreme and try to make out with her immediately the next time you see her. There's something to be said about a man who takes what he wants, after all.

 

[Kanelol]

If you subscribe to the school of thought that dictates that 99% of the time, women can tell within the first instant of meeting a man whether or not they could ever see themselves being in a romantic relationship with aforementioned man, then you probably blew it.

I mean, not that that's necessarily true. I like to think it is. Also, in my own personal experience, it's always been relatively obvious, even right from the get-go, whether or not a chick is sexually attracted to me.

Honestly, if she thought that the two of you were supposed to wind up together, she would've said or done something at this point. As counter-intuitive and ironic as it seems, women aren't spineless, *****-footing nincompoops when it comes to expressing their interest in the opposite sex.

I mean, I'm not saying it's completely hopeless. You could always get her dangerously drunk and see if you have any better luck.

 

[Mota]

Sounds like your in the friends zone, and it's almost impossible to get out of the friends zone.

I overheard her saying she doesn't feel like dating at that point.

I would've thought this made your choice pretty obvious, but what the hey a couple months has gone by.
I say nay. If you're still going to go for it, then bust out that friends zone, flirt like hell.

 

[§witch]

Few things can be as frustrating as being stuck in the friends zone, but, at least in my experience, you stop liking her that way after a while. You just become close friends, then you'll find someone new you like. It's no big deal. If you really want this then ask her out, otherwise just move on and stay friends with her.

 

[Jenkins]

oh m@v...

roofies always work best for me.

 

[M@v]

Yeah I'll be dead honest, Im not heads over heels for her, but regardless. If it happens it happens at this point. However, on that same accord, I feel the "Friend zone" is a total sack of bull**** because I've seen several cases of people I know here dating their friends at college, which by the "friend zone" definition, shouldn't happen.

 

[Night-san]

This is coming from a chick.

Just bite the bullet and ask her. If she's that good of a friend, and she declines, things may be awkward for a bit, but she'll get over it and you'll be cool.

 

[jiovanni007]

Yeah I'll be dead honest, Im not heads over heels for her, but regardless. If it happens it happens at this point. However, on that same accord, I feel the "Friend zone" is a total sack of bull**** because I've seen several cases of people I know here dating their friends at college, which by the "friend zone" definition, shouldn't happen.

I doubt you're in the friend zone anyway. She let you treat her to dinner so she's either into you or a gold digger. Just man up and go for it. Just tell her how you feel and ask how she feels about you.

 

[~ Gheb ~]

My advice in such a situation would be to accept if she doesn't show interest but still wants to be "just friends" with you. Sometimes it takes time for a girl to become certain about her own feelings towards you and keeping in touch with her as a "regular" friend can help her to become more secure in that regard. At worst, you can still keep her as a regular friend and since you said yourself you're not head over heals with her it's probably still not a bad outcome.

 

[Ugg]

No regrets, bro.

You HAVE to do something, and the longer it takes, the more you could be submerging into the "friend zone."

Just think - you have three options. Try for it and score, try and get rejected, or don't try at all. Personally, I'd rather get rejected than spend the rest of my life wondering about what COULD have happened.

If you do get rejected, pff. Life goes on, don't let it hit you hard.

That's my perspective.

 

[DarkLouis331]

Being friends with someone you find attractive is a bit of a hopeless situation, I would personally say it's all or nothing.

GO FOR IT FULL FORCE.

Neither way is really wrong, you should weigh in what you're willing to risk and what you honestly want before doing anything.

I'm just not one to care that much about consequences whereas most are, so if you're looking for safety and possible success I'd listen to Skyler. If you're looking for jackpot or broke, follow my method.

This. Being a guy who recently got friend-zowned hardcore, it's really hard to force a friendship with someone you really have feelings for. I tried to with a girl I really liked and it ended very bitterly in the end. But it doesn't always end that way.

 

[jiovanni007]

This. Being a guy who recently got friend-zowned hardcore, it's really hard to force a friendship with someone you really have feelings for. I tried to with a girl I really liked and it ended very bitterly in the end. But it doesn't always end that way.

You guys do know that there is nothing wrong with being in the friend zone. It's not this end all a possible relationship with a woman. In fact being friends with a woman before dating her is preferable since you can actually know that you have similar interests. You just have to try to take the next step the right way.

Just going up to her and proclaiming your love is gonna freak her out no matter how she actually feels about you. So if she's single then treat her out to dinner or something similar. The most important part is getting the one on one time so that she can realize how awesome you are and how awesome that she thinks you are.

The whole friend zone thing is mostly just a cop out created by women so that they can reject guys they don't have feelings for for whatever reason without actually feeling bad about doing it. Don't buy into the friend zone, its mostly a myth.

The most important part is proceeding with confidence and a serious but not too serious demeanor when trying to move onto the next step.

 

[RATED]

Do it M@V. Don't lose time.
lol I was about to " say everything" today and the girl didnt go to college. -___-

 

[M@v]

The whole friend zone thing is mostly just a cop out created by women so that they can reject guys they don't have feelings for for whatever reason without actually feeling bad about doing it. Don't buy into the friend zone, its mostly a myth.
.

Finally someone agrees with me. Ive been taking the more passive style approach you mentioned; not saying up front but trying to get a lot of 1 on 1 time in. So far so good. I really am not in a massive rush; i've only known her under 5 months still, so its not like i've been friends with her for years.

 

[Pogogo]

well, you can lose a friend. That kinda sucks.

 

[ShadowPhoenix951]

well, you can lose a friend. That kinda sucks.

If they aren't willing to still be friends after something like this, keeping them as friends isn't worth it anyways.