My biggest and longest, most pointless rant in the history of ever - trip to New York

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

tl;dr - I traveled 1000 miles and put over 300 dollars into a girl who I wasn't even dating. I'm dumb, and upset with myself for being naive.

 

[Melomaniacal]

Okay... uh... I hope none of this offends you, but I'm going to be honest...

...so we have this girl. She smokes weed, hangs out with a bunch of seemingly sleazy guys, and has sex in public places more than once. Really classy girl. No offense, but I don't understand what's likable about this girl. All I got out of this is that she talks to you and is physically attractive. Other than that, she's... uh... slutty? Irresponsible? Immature? Rude? Am I reading this wrong?

I think you may have fooled yourself into falling for a girl. Trust me, you can do better. You were naive this one time, but you learned from it (I hope). You can find a better girl who cares about you. Don't get caught up by this one mistake.

 

[Serris]

...so we have this girl. She smokes weed, hangs out with a bunch of seemingly sleazy guys, and has sex in public places more than once. Really classy girl. No offense, but I don't understand what's likable about this girl. All I got out of this is that she talks to you and is physically attractive. Other than that, she's... uh... slutty? Irresponsible? Immature? Rude? Am I reading this wrong?

Despite the fact that he couldn't have possibly known about the extent of her promiscuity, I completely agree. Eikelmann, her total silence should have raised a MASSIVE red flag, and you should have confronted her about it. Regardless, you set yourself up for this by blindly letting your emotions dictate your actions. Next time, try to remain objective about what's happening.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

I tried confronting her about it, and she just blew it off. She restated that it didn't change anything, and asked me if "I was crazy". I promised her I was coming. I don't break my promises. I wouldn't have come if I didn't promise her, and had already paid for a plane ticket.

 

[Melomaniacal]

Despite the fact that he couldn't have possibly known about the extent of her promiscuity, I completely agree. Eikelmann, her total silence should have raised a MASSIVE red flag, and you should have confronted her about it. Regardless, you set yourself up for this by blindly letting your emotions dictate your actions. Next time, try to remain objective about what's happening.

First of all, wow you try really hard to make it extremely difficult to quote you.

Anyway, I assume he knew these things before-hand for two reasons:
1. He knew from the phone conversations that she has had sex in public places more than once.
2. He claimed to know more about her than her friends.

Well, I'll just ask him.

I tried confronting her about it, and she just blew it off. She restated that it didn't change anything, and asked me if "I was crazy". I promised her I was coming. I don't break my promises. I wouldn't have come if I didn't promise her, and had already paid for a plane ticket.

Did you know what this girl was like before you met her in person?
Can you explain again what exactly you liked about her, besides her physical appearance?

 

[Jam Stunna]

Eh, you made a mistake. We all make them. I chased a girl to college, and that cost me about 2,000 miles in total travel, 18 months worth of time, and over $10,000.

There are just some things in life we all have to do, and it seems that one of them is to be stupid for a relationship. Look at it this way: you got it out of the way early!

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

I didn't like her just because of her appearance. Her personality, what I saw of it, was golden. She wasn't a dull person. She had a lot of common interests with me, and even some interests I didn't have that I admired. She seemed very kind.

I feel that a personality makes somebody truly "beautiful".

 

[Melomaniacal]

I didn't like her just because of her appearance. Her personality, what I saw of it, was golden. She wasn't a dull person. She had a lot of common interests with me, and even some interests I didn't have that I admired. She seemed very kind.

I feel that a personality makes somebody truly "beautiful".

I just find it strange that for all you knew about her personality, for all the conversations you had and all the confidence you had in your knowledge of her as a person, these traits somehow slipped your mind. I mean, if someone told me they had sex in a shopping mall (not once, but twice), that would put up a huge red flag for me. That speaks volumes about a person.

 

[Skler]

Being interesting =/= having a good personality. An interesting person can still be a douche the same way a boring person can be the nicest person in the world.

No offense, but "she said things that made her sound nice" is a pretty shaky foundation for a relationship.

That came off as really mean. I'm just trying to say you should be more careful. She didn't offer to pay for any of your ticket, she wanted you, the person who was spending lots of money to get to her, to pay for her phone bill. That isn't very kind. As a matter of fact, nothing you said about her made her sound kind at all.

Jam is right though, better to make the mistake now than later!

As a side note, I came into this thread hoping it would be some angry rant about how going to see big cities sucks (oh look, stores! What's that over there? More stores!). Oh well.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

Skler, did you actually read my blog?

 

[Skler]

Yes. Did you read my reply? Nothing you said made her sound kind except that you told us she was. There were no examples of her being nice, just ones of her being, well, whorish.

Then you told us about how she took your money and then was whorish in front of you.

That sum it up well enough?

I was trying to be nice.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

Yeah. Well, it was rather blunt. I just gave a brief summary of our friendship before I told the actual story of it all.

I wasn't trying to make her look nice, or mean. It's just how it is.

Thanks for the reply!

 

[StealthyGunnar]

I don't want to sound mean, but like many other people before me have said, a big red flag shoulda gone up when u heard that she has had sex with other people in public at least twice.

I suppose we all make mistakes, but just get over her.

 

[Эикельманн [РУС]]

I already have.

Hey, your name is Cash, too. Cool.

 

[theunabletable]

It was an interesting read

That sucks, though.

I mean from my point of view, it looks kinda like you should've given up earlier than that (as the posts above kinda said), but frankly I've never been in your position, so Idk whether I would've done the same or not haha.

And if it makes you feel better, you didn't waste as much time as you could have lol. If I were you, I wouldn't look at this like that much of a failuer of a trip, I mean it must've sucked at the time, but doing it now (instead of way later) probably caused you to waste less time in the long run.

 

[StealthyGunnar]

I already have.

Hey, your name is Cash, too. Cool.

Haha, thanks. Interesting read btw.

 

[-Kiros-]

Interesting read. All I can say is that you let your emotions control you. Make it the other way around next time. Gotta be careful with the girls they're very fickle, never commit until you know for sure. Spend a lot of time planning and thinking your next move, never jump into it without a net. Don't fantasize and believe what you want to believe. Life with the facts.

 

[Oracle]

I feel really bad for you, mostly because the only proper response is "*****es and hoes". Not to stereotype women, but lots of times women are like this and it's hard to see that early on. Personally, I wouldn't have trusted her very much after the whole "sex in a mall stairwell twice" because that's a little over the top.

The only cure for something like this is experience, and this experience gives you a whole bunch. It's better to look to the future, so you can use this one bad experience to help discern in the future the girlfriend-material women from the ones who just want an f buddy to pay for them =/