Okay, here are mine for the Dojo.
Stephen Colbert:
Yes, Stephen Colbert, the American Sentinel of truthiness, joins the brawl! Not content to sit back in his comfy news anchor's chair and watch as Subspace runs amok, Stephen uses all his cunning, speed, and his pet eagle (Yes! An Eagle!) to achieve victory. Beware, this lanky newscaster may not look like much, but everything is a weapon when you don't have any weapons training to tell you otherwise!
"I promise to deliver the truth in the next thirty minutes, or it's free!"
Fawful:
Fawful, Cackletta's diminuitive assisstant has joined the Brawl! Now that Cackletta's kaput, Fawful has moved on to sell beans in the sewers under Princess Peach's castle, but you can't keep a good man down for long! Armed with his fire-breathing headgear while utilising his evil genius and small stature, Fawful will make all you fink-rats taste the mustard of your doom!
"Grr! I have fury!"
Knowing how close Fawful is to being added, I'll understand if you've already written something up, but feel free to use this if you havent.