In absentia.

[Lythium]

Link to original post: [drupal=1983]In absentia.[/drupal]



I haven’t been posting.

Maybe you’ve noticed or maybe you haven’t, but I’m told the odd friend or acquaintance checks once in awhile. To you and to him, my apologies. I haven’t been able to write. I’m not even sure I am now.

I’m still trying to find a second job, but nobody likes to hear about that. It’s a downer. I’ve been lost, metaphorically speaking, and can’t seem to find my way out of what seems to be a deepening rut. It’s as if I’m flailing around, trying to find something to catch on, but nothing sticks. Catch my similes? Life’s been rough and terribly inconsistent. I have no sure things.

I’ve stopped reading and taking pictures. My camera’s been sitting, sullen and lonely, on top of my bookcase. I now feel silly for trying, or perhaps it’s a lack of inspiration. Who could say?

I’m broke, lonely, uninspired and, worst of all, morose. The rain keeps pouring and I keep wondering why, why? Why won’t the circus come to town and take me away with it? I could be a juggler, a fire eater, a backbender. I could be covered in tattoos and dance around with fans for flustered townsfolk.

Maybe I need a life coach.

HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS IN A SHORT POEM TO APPEASE YOU:

I think I could wander the streets of Paris
In 1914 or 1923
A wandering busker in dark, crowded bars
I’d learn read palms and decipher the stars

I think I’d be happy to travel by train
Along with the circus through Cairo and Spain
Between the great wars I’d become a magician
A tattooed con-artist and mathematician

I think I’d be happy to live in the trees
Watch sunsets in August and do as I please
Aware of the things lurking just out of sight
Who sleep in the day and assemble by night

I think I am twenty, but still I deny
That horrible, deafening, maddening cry:
‘Grow up! Get a job! Go to school! Give a care!’
I can’t make it stop so I’ll feign unaware…

 

[Teran]

Not much I can say to help Kate, apart from the fact that you can just hold on to the hope that this less thrilling period of your life will pass.

Getting on top of things just takes a bit of time, realisation, and active effort, but you'll get there.

Oh btw, your blog is chopped off in the thread, copypasta the contents into the OP.

 

[Jim Morrison]

You feel like you have an empty life, like most of us. You wish for another life like most of us.
I too want some crazy event to just sway me away and do something with me, but those are slim chances.

I myself have no cure for this yet

I'll monitor this thread to see what others have to say.

 

[Lythium]

Thanks, guys.

Just needed to get that off my chest.

EDIT: Fixed OP.

 

[Teran]

The simple pleasures in life are much better.
I can just sit there motionless for an entire day lost in my imagination if I wanted, and I'll be perfectly content.

Of course, that's a complete waste of time, but I don't really want anything exotic, they're kinda novel and lose their charm quickly.

EDIT: Getting things off your chest is good stuff.

 

[Jim Morrison]

How I spend my day:

Cruise Wikipedia about certain subjects. Sometimes I'm reading on atoms, other times on space, then on world economy and today about the string theory.

I don't feel like it does ****, like it makes me smart. I hate vacation and days off, they give me too much to do. Being 15 makes me a cheap worker and easily bireable. Lucky me.

Teran, change your avatar to Von Karma, your new one sucks.

 

[Teran]

Teran, change your avatar to Von Karma, your new one sucks.

I would link you to a reason why it doesn't, but there'd be so much profanity I'd get enough points to ban the whole of Smashboards.

Karma's on vacation, the old man deserves his break.

 

[Lythium]

Karma's on vacation, the old man deserves his break.

Did he get shot again?

 

[Teran]

Did he get shot again?

Yeah, in the chest.
He also has colon cancer.

 

[Chaco]

If you want to talk to anyone lythium you can talk to Teran and I? We both listen to others a lot and help each other out.

 

[Lythium]

Thanks, Chaco. I truly appreciate that.

 

[Chaco]

No problem whatsoever.

 

[Mini Mic]

le gasp I missed this blog!

Katie, perhaps you need a change in your life? (obviously a new job would help so keep looking!) As for the circus, my mother joined a 'women over 40' circus group and loved it (unfortunately they have since disbanded). Perhaps what you need is to move somewhere else say oh I don't know... Melbourne Australia? You'd like it here, we even spell things with a 'u' so it'd feel just like home!

Stupidity aside, you know where to find me if you want to talk.

 

[mzink*]

Like Teran said, simple pleasures are what make life sometimes. Being lost in a rut is just something we all go through at one point or another. Those ruts can help shape us into who we are like all the other various experiences we go through. Don't lose hope though, you'll find you're way out of it and then you can look back and feel pride in yourself.

Cool poem.