mountain_tiger
Smash Champion
Link to original post: [drupal=1993]I'm totally bricking it right now.[/drupal]
Perhaps not the best choice of words, but I figured they summed up how I felt pretty well. The thing is, I know I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I can't help it.
See, here's my situation. I finished year 11(that's the equivalent of 10th grade in USA) around three and a half weeks ago, and at the end of that year, we had to do our GCSEs. If you don't live in Britain and don't know what they are, basically they're exams that you do after studying for two years, and they ideally assess how intelligent you are and how hard you work. They're very important exams, because if you don't get at least 5 Cs (including Maths and English), then you can't do A Levels, and if that happens you can't go to university (thus making it much more difficult to get a well-paid job). Now, I'm pretty sure I can pass at that rate, but apparently most of the good universities are asking for all A*s and As (those are the top grades, BTW), so needless to say you have to do very well.
Now here's the thing. I started revising around 4 months before the exam started, and I was sure that I knew most of it. So in the last few weeks during the exams, I ended up only doing an hour or two of revision each night, which I think was enough, but now I'm not so sure. You see, there are some questions on the papers that I know I got wrong. I know I lost at least 5 marks on a Spanish listening paper, and I got two or three questions wrong on the Chemistry one, and on the Maths too. Now I'm really worried that it means that I might not get the grades I really want, and I may end up getting some Bs. The thing is, for all I know those could be the only questions I got wrong, but still I end up worrying that I did terribly.
Now, by most people's standards, Bs would be reasonable grades. But, you see, I got targeted all A*s, which I know I almost certainly won't get, and my mum doesn't want me to get anything below an A. You see, all of my siblings did really well in their GCSEs. One of my sisters got 8 A*s and 3As! So I really need to get good grades in order to live up to my parents' expectations of me, and it's stressing me out. My mum said that I should study six hours a day. I didn't, though sometimes I did 3-4 hours, and usually 2-3, until we got to the exam period. But I had to do 12 subjects. I'm not good at all of them. In fact, I'll be amazed if I get As in French and Spanish (I'm not exactly the world's most accomplished linguist).
Now, every single night, I have trouble going to sleep because I keep thinking of all the questions I know I got wrong (including one where I accidentally replaced the right answer!) and how that might have ruined my chances. But for all I know I could have done brilliantly in everything else and gotten all A*s, yet I never seem to think that. Now here's the worst part of my situation: we don't get the results until 27th August. That's almost SIX WHOLE WEEKS!
I know that all this worrying is pointless, and that I can't do anything to change it now, but I still can't seem to get it out of my brain. When I told my mum, she simply said, 'Try not to think about it.' But whenever I try not to think about it only makes me think about it more! I've managed to enjoy my summer so far, though, so there's no reason I shouldn't be able to continue doing that. On the plus side, there are lots of things to keep me occupied in the coming weeks. My birthday's coming up soon, and my brother's wedding too, so that should keep my mind off things. But other than that, I guess I'll just have to try and keep calm and hope for the best. In fact, typing all of this out has made me feel a bit better about the situation, and in my opinion that's one of the things that these blogs are for.
Perhaps not the best choice of words, but I figured they summed up how I felt pretty well. The thing is, I know I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I can't help it.
See, here's my situation. I finished year 11(that's the equivalent of 10th grade in USA) around three and a half weeks ago, and at the end of that year, we had to do our GCSEs. If you don't live in Britain and don't know what they are, basically they're exams that you do after studying for two years, and they ideally assess how intelligent you are and how hard you work. They're very important exams, because if you don't get at least 5 Cs (including Maths and English), then you can't do A Levels, and if that happens you can't go to university (thus making it much more difficult to get a well-paid job). Now, I'm pretty sure I can pass at that rate, but apparently most of the good universities are asking for all A*s and As (those are the top grades, BTW), so needless to say you have to do very well.
Now here's the thing. I started revising around 4 months before the exam started, and I was sure that I knew most of it. So in the last few weeks during the exams, I ended up only doing an hour or two of revision each night, which I think was enough, but now I'm not so sure. You see, there are some questions on the papers that I know I got wrong. I know I lost at least 5 marks on a Spanish listening paper, and I got two or three questions wrong on the Chemistry one, and on the Maths too. Now I'm really worried that it means that I might not get the grades I really want, and I may end up getting some Bs. The thing is, for all I know those could be the only questions I got wrong, but still I end up worrying that I did terribly.
Now, by most people's standards, Bs would be reasonable grades. But, you see, I got targeted all A*s, which I know I almost certainly won't get, and my mum doesn't want me to get anything below an A. You see, all of my siblings did really well in their GCSEs. One of my sisters got 8 A*s and 3As! So I really need to get good grades in order to live up to my parents' expectations of me, and it's stressing me out. My mum said that I should study six hours a day. I didn't, though sometimes I did 3-4 hours, and usually 2-3, until we got to the exam period. But I had to do 12 subjects. I'm not good at all of them. In fact, I'll be amazed if I get As in French and Spanish (I'm not exactly the world's most accomplished linguist).
Now, every single night, I have trouble going to sleep because I keep thinking of all the questions I know I got wrong (including one where I accidentally replaced the right answer!) and how that might have ruined my chances. But for all I know I could have done brilliantly in everything else and gotten all A*s, yet I never seem to think that. Now here's the worst part of my situation: we don't get the results until 27th August. That's almost SIX WHOLE WEEKS!
I know that all this worrying is pointless, and that I can't do anything to change it now, but I still can't seem to get it out of my brain. When I told my mum, she simply said, 'Try not to think about it.' But whenever I try not to think about it only makes me think about it more! I've managed to enjoy my summer so far, though, so there's no reason I shouldn't be able to continue doing that. On the plus side, there are lots of things to keep me occupied in the coming weeks. My birthday's coming up soon, and my brother's wedding too, so that should keep my mind off things. But other than that, I guess I'll just have to try and keep calm and hope for the best. In fact, typing all of this out has made me feel a bit better about the situation, and in my opinion that's one of the things that these blogs are for.
