Since three years ago, I decided to keep records of funny things people have said, along with a few from myself. I sorted out the ones that are funniest to show the community.
I was riding with my friend Chase and he was going about ten over the speed limit, which was 35 mph. He got pulled over and the cop asked him a few things along with asking, "Do you know how fast you were going?" My friend said, "45." The cop, having to be the one to be right, said, "46." Chase only got a warning though.
My friend Derik was playing X-Box Live, but did not have a headset or a speakercom. This was not his first time playing on Live though, I think. Well, during a game he put the controller, which only had the communicator in it, up to his mouth and said, "This thing isn't working." I think he had confused it with a speakercom.
I was in Chase's car as he was driving in the Wal-Mart parking lot. We passed by a row of lawn mowers and Chase pointed out that pretty much all of them were worth more than his car.
I got some clothes at Aeropostale, and as my mother wrote the check to pay for them, she asked, "How do you spell Aeropostale?" All of the shirts, which covered the walls of the store, said Aeropostale on them.
Jeremy was playing Slayer Pro on Halo 2 and he got killed by a guy. He said, "That's bull****, he wasn't on my radar." But there's no radar in Slayer Pro.
I was waiting for Derik at a marines recruiting place, and he was taking longer than he said he would. So, I went in to wait for him inside. When I got in, Derik said, "You're gonna have a lot of people asking you to join the marines here." So I said, "I guess I'll have to be saying no a lot." Then the marine recruiter there said, "Why don't you want to join the marines?" So I said, "Just draft me, I'll get back to you later." And I left.
Chad put a VHS in a VCR, ejected it, flipped it over, and tried to put it in again. He then asked, "Don't tapes have two sides?"
Me and Jeremy were watching a video a guy who had lightning strike by him, and we were trying to conclude if it were fake or not. When we watched the lightning strike again, Jeremy said, "Lightning doesn't make sound." So he was saying it was fake. I said, "Yes it does." He replied, "I thought thunder made the noise?"
During CAD class, Lacey asked, "Is New Mexico in Mexico or the United States?"
Jesse was trying to figure out the term for fans that oscillate, and he said, "You know the fans that spin?"
Jeremy was editing the foundation on a house he made and Derik came up and asked, "Is that a fence?" A few days later I was making boundarie lines around trees and my house on a site plan. Derik came up and asked what I was doing, I didn't tell him, so he said, "Let me guess, it's a fence."
I asked why Chase got a pink shirt and he said, "It was the only color I didn't have." Then he said, "I'll never wear purple though."
Taylor went to Burger King and said to the person at the window, "Will you take my trash?" She handed him two Taco Bell cups.
Chase said, "N-O-O-B." to me. I said, "Chase, we all know you can spell, you don't have to celebrate it."
Matt and I were waiting in line for Cedar Point's Top Thrill Dragster and we overheard a girl in the line say, "Is my hair okay?" The Top Thrill Dragster goes from 0 to 120 in less than four seconds.
While me, Dawn, and Amanda were in an elevator, Amanda was feeling the braille. She asked, "Can your mom read these?" I said, "Amanda, my mom's deaf not blind."
Steve was talking about Buffalo Wild Wings and was saying how it is to eat them. "Just pop 'em in and suck it down!"
Jeremy was at my house with his Felpausch work clothes on and my mother said to him, "What are you doing with your clothes on?"
A teacher speaking at the BACC coughed, said excuse me, and explained her sickness with, "I kinda got it in my throat."
My dad was saying something about he might have the big C, as in cancer. So I replied, "I have a big C!"
Kalee was saying that if there was ever a fire, she’d pack up a suitcase of her belongings and throw it out her window. Continuing on the subject, Melissa’s mom said to me that Melissa and I better not be having her door shut. So I said, “Well we gotta keep the smoke out and the steam in.”
I was riding with my friend Chase and he was going about ten over the speed limit, which was 35 mph. He got pulled over and the cop asked him a few things along with asking, "Do you know how fast you were going?" My friend said, "45." The cop, having to be the one to be right, said, "46." Chase only got a warning though.
My friend Derik was playing X-Box Live, but did not have a headset or a speakercom. This was not his first time playing on Live though, I think. Well, during a game he put the controller, which only had the communicator in it, up to his mouth and said, "This thing isn't working." I think he had confused it with a speakercom.
I was in Chase's car as he was driving in the Wal-Mart parking lot. We passed by a row of lawn mowers and Chase pointed out that pretty much all of them were worth more than his car.
I got some clothes at Aeropostale, and as my mother wrote the check to pay for them, she asked, "How do you spell Aeropostale?" All of the shirts, which covered the walls of the store, said Aeropostale on them.
Jeremy was playing Slayer Pro on Halo 2 and he got killed by a guy. He said, "That's bull****, he wasn't on my radar." But there's no radar in Slayer Pro.
I was waiting for Derik at a marines recruiting place, and he was taking longer than he said he would. So, I went in to wait for him inside. When I got in, Derik said, "You're gonna have a lot of people asking you to join the marines here." So I said, "I guess I'll have to be saying no a lot." Then the marine recruiter there said, "Why don't you want to join the marines?" So I said, "Just draft me, I'll get back to you later." And I left.
Chad put a VHS in a VCR, ejected it, flipped it over, and tried to put it in again. He then asked, "Don't tapes have two sides?"
Me and Jeremy were watching a video a guy who had lightning strike by him, and we were trying to conclude if it were fake or not. When we watched the lightning strike again, Jeremy said, "Lightning doesn't make sound." So he was saying it was fake. I said, "Yes it does." He replied, "I thought thunder made the noise?"
During CAD class, Lacey asked, "Is New Mexico in Mexico or the United States?"
Jesse was trying to figure out the term for fans that oscillate, and he said, "You know the fans that spin?"
Jeremy was editing the foundation on a house he made and Derik came up and asked, "Is that a fence?" A few days later I was making boundarie lines around trees and my house on a site plan. Derik came up and asked what I was doing, I didn't tell him, so he said, "Let me guess, it's a fence."
I asked why Chase got a pink shirt and he said, "It was the only color I didn't have." Then he said, "I'll never wear purple though."
Taylor went to Burger King and said to the person at the window, "Will you take my trash?" She handed him two Taco Bell cups.
Chase said, "N-O-O-B." to me. I said, "Chase, we all know you can spell, you don't have to celebrate it."
Matt and I were waiting in line for Cedar Point's Top Thrill Dragster and we overheard a girl in the line say, "Is my hair okay?" The Top Thrill Dragster goes from 0 to 120 in less than four seconds.
While me, Dawn, and Amanda were in an elevator, Amanda was feeling the braille. She asked, "Can your mom read these?" I said, "Amanda, my mom's deaf not blind."
Steve was talking about Buffalo Wild Wings and was saying how it is to eat them. "Just pop 'em in and suck it down!"
Jeremy was at my house with his Felpausch work clothes on and my mother said to him, "What are you doing with your clothes on?"
A teacher speaking at the BACC coughed, said excuse me, and explained her sickness with, "I kinda got it in my throat."
My dad was saying something about he might have the big C, as in cancer. So I replied, "I have a big C!"
Kalee was saying that if there was ever a fire, she’d pack up a suitcase of her belongings and throw it out her window. Continuing on the subject, Melissa’s mom said to me that Melissa and I better not be having her door shut. So I said, “Well we gotta keep the smoke out and the steam in.”
