Social DGames Social | V/LA |

[#HBC | Acrostic]

I'll trade you any day. I miss school so much you don't even know.

You. Me. Talk.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Sure thing. I'll take a Bachelor's degree and a job. You can have my school experience. (Which includes studying and alot of reading)

Haha funny story about that job.

 

[ranmaru]

Well, I mean I'll take a BA from him, and I'll try to get a job myself somewhere and just work and do whatever crap I have to do rather than studying. Hmm.

I mean I can do random stuff but I can't study lol

 

[ranmaru]

Also I guess I complain alot. Sorry guys. I guess I do that alot.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Also I guess I complain alot. Sorry guys. I guess I do that alot.

Never apologize. There's nothing wrong with opening up.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Spoiler

Spoiler

Steve Augustyn's Experience
Mechanical Engineer

SRA International
Privately Held; 5001-10,000 employees; SRX; Information Technology and Services industry
June 2013 – Present (5 months)
Airport Technology R&D
Project Controls

URS Corporation
Public Company; 10,001+ employees; URS; Civil Engineering industry
March 2013 – May 2013 (3 months) Stony Brook, NY
Review contractor submittals and forward to architect, commissioning agency, or other party as necessary. Input submittal information into Excel spreadsheet. Review Operation & Maintenance (O&M) manuals, Warranties, and As-Builts and provide comments to contractor for resubmission to ensure they meet contract specifications for proper closeout. Meet with client to hand over these submissions. Perform daily site inspections, creating a report including manpower, equipment used, work performed, and photos of work progress. Create Non-conformance Reports (NCR) based on site inspections and send to contractor, including photos and/or contract drawings and written description of the work not in compliance. Read contract drawings as construction proceeds to ensure proper construction.
Junior Project Engineer

URS Corporation
Public Company; 10,001+ employees; URS; Civil Engineering industry
October 2011 – March 2013 (1 year 6 months) New York, NY
MTA East Side Access Project, Contract CQ031 Queens Bored Tunnels & Structures
Evaluated detailed cost breakdown for repair of over 200 slurry wall tiebacks in the excavation used to launch the soft ground Tunnel Boring Machines (TBMs). Created a visual matrix in Excel to quantify the offsets of the slurry wall soldier piles and their effect on tieback installation. Created a memo closing the bid item; I saved MTA about $200,000. Created spreadsheet with geological records of four tunnel drives that plots advance, penetration rate, availability, and utilization by shift, day, and week. Created and distributed weekly the forecast that shows upcoming instrumentation in the TBM's forecast influence zone, including tilt meters, extensometers, surface prisms, and settlement monitoring points. Plotted settlement troughs for cross sections of the TBM influence zone using data from settlement monitoring points to show heave and settlement during the TBM's passing. Recorded monthly meeting minutes. Compiled submittals, field change requests (FCR), non-conformance reports (NCR), requests for information (RFI), shop drawings, and created Excel logs for each submittal type. Created organized closeout binders with all documents during contract conclusion.
MEP Inspector

JBC Associates

June 2010 – July 2011 (1 year 2 months) Philadelphia International Airport
Coordinating construction between tenants and contractors with the airport and other
jurisdictional agencies for projects at Philadelphia International Airport. Verifying construction
for conformance with drawings and specifications in addition to all applicable codes, including
International Building Code (IBC), International Mechanical, Fire, and Electrical codes,
Philadelphia Plumbing Code, and Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Ensuring the
application of these codes during the installation of TSA’s AIT passenger screening scanners.
Verifying all required permits and insurance certificates; verifying concrete pours in accordance
with IBC standards; inspection of boring and coring sampling on runways and taxiways;
reviewing drawings for above mentioned codes and regulations for construction in Marketplace
Food & Shops within the airport, in addition to a new $20M US Airways building, AirTran’s
jetbridges, offices and holdrooms, and gasoline UST replacement at National Car Rental.
Intern

American Water
Public Company; 5001-10,000 employees; AWK; Utilities industry
May 2008 – January 2009 (9 months)
Build an Excel model of a proposed dam and reservoir system including pumping cost estimate and 100 years of streamflow data. Assist in writing, editing and publishing the Comprehensive Planning Studies for three Los Angeles water districts. Graph yearly residential water use and plot prediction trendlines for numerous water districts. Research on the cost of water infrastructure, ICI water use trends, and the effects of climate change on water utilities.
ME Intern

The Alaimo Group

May 2007 – August 2007 (4 months)
Review shop drawings; perform calculations for pump sizing and pipe flow at sewage treatment plant; coordinate design specs with contractors; attend design review and pre-construction meetings; inspect and photograph job sites before, during, and after construction; prepare performance bond estimates.
Intern

NRG Energy
Public Company; 5001-10,000 employees; NRG; Oil & Energy industry
July 2006 – August 2006 (2 months)
Assist in development of QII report for NRG nuclear plants.
http://www.linkedin.com/in/augustynsteve[/Spoiler]

http://www.linkedin.com/in/augustynsteve[/Spoiler]

 

[ranmaru]

Thanks Acrostic. Appreciate that.

Also that vid. Makes me the sads.

I mean I'm sure there is availability in my field (social work), but it'll be stressful and with lower pay I think.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Thanks Acrostic. Appreciate that. Also that vid. Makes me the sads. I mean I'm sure there is availability in my field (social work), but it'll be stressful and with lower pay I think.

If you checked his LinkedIn that I put in second collapse tags, it looks like he landed ok with a senior management position before changing companies.

 

[#HBC | Dancer]

Never apologize. There's nothing wrong with opening up.

Wow okay, were to begin?

Most of my managers at work are nice but one of them is literally the biggest asshole I have ever known in my life and I literally hate him. I have never actually full on hated someone in my life until him.

I'm flunking one of my classes right now and it's pretty much all my fault. I procrastinate on studying, I miss class, miss online hw, and do poorly on tests. I don't know what I'm going to do now expect talk with my professor and an advisor.

My mom has been putting pressure on me to pass this class. I have yet to tell her that I'm going to flunk out of it, and it has been a couple of days now.

I've been having some pretty serious insecurities about myself as a person lately.I have ceased feeling "smart" awhile ago. Instead I feel like I'm probably only of average intelligence. I've been thinking that I can understand things like other people but my brain just processes slowly.

I feel like I wasted my childhood playing video game, never acquiring any unique skills like learning an instrument or how to draw.

I also don't like how I have a hard time talking to other people because I don't understand what other people find to talk about or how to continue out conversations without steering them into dead ends.

I thoroughly enjoy fantasy.

I thoroughly enjoy that I was able to beat HarriettheGuy (one of the top 10 players in Florida at Melee) twice in a row yesterday.

/**** dump

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Responded.

 

[ranmaru]

Swords, you can start now. Here I am, at least trying to get better health wise. (I think that, if I start now at 23, at worst I'd be at a attractive image by the time I'm 27 or before that if I do better, better doing this than waiting until my youth is no more) Here are my priorities:

Fitness > School > Career.

I seem to be doing ok with fitness, it's something I really do care about and read up about. Yet... School. It's a bit untouched now. I'm going to be reading in a bit. Maybe.. I will lose sleep due to it. I feel your pain.

Consider this though. Back when I was in Florida, going to Valencia Community College, I failed two classes there, and was put on academic probation temporarily. This happened because I was skipping classes, and playing games (melee mostly) the whole time. So that was a year wasted that I can't get back.

When thinking of that class, at least try to SALVAGE it now, rather than regretting about you not doing a damn thing about it later. It sucks.

Smartness, I'm there with you. I feel school can help with that for me, but alas... the motivation isn't there and stress isn't helping.

I'm also bad at conversations. I try to continue a convo with something random, and usually let someone really talkative talk alot and I just say "yep" the whole time. Yeah.

I feel ya bro.

When it comes to skills, I have none. I just put %120 effort into everything.

 

[ranmaru]

I guess, when it comes to your own intelligence, you have to treat it like you treat your penis size, or a woman treats her breast size. Just accept who you are. If you can't, I guess you can try to improve it or make it seem better, if you have the option to do so. (I'm sure that isn't the case with penis size... haha)

inb4 kary says me no likey this

I'm sorry kary love u <3

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

Intelligence is an artificial concept.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

-

If you've been repressing all this without having anyone else to unwind on then you seriously do need to open up to someone, anyone about your problems. If you're not comfortable with sharing it online then that's understandable, but jesus you need to find some outlet because you are going to go psycho if I'm correct in reading this as unadulterated frustration. Just to summarize: Your job is ****. Your school life is ****. Your family life is complicated ****. Your ego is ****. And your social life is also ****. If I'm not mistaken you literally had to clean **** at your ****ty job. That's pretty crazy ****. You've got a lot of **** to deal with and if you're definitely keeping a lot of that **** bottled in based on how you interjected. If you need your mom then you should come clean, tell her you're ****ed and then give her the options. You failed the class, you're going to retake or change major or need to take an extra semester in order to get everything in order. Your mother will be disappointed and if she's a **** she might even kick you out the ****ing house, but if she's going to betray her own son for a ****ing piece of paper then you could never depend on a ***** like that to support you through hardships in the first place. I know it means a lot to you, but your class is a ****ing letter out of seventy on a transcript that means jack **** to most employers. Unless you were planning to go to medical school in the U.S. or pursue a PhD you're going to have to work on a Plan B. I don't know how to address your difficulty in communication with other people. Most of the time I find that the people I interact with know too little and talk too much about issues that have very little substance. It's not really worth knowing them in the first place as they are going nowhere with their lives. I hate my job. I hate my job so much I stay up late at night regretting the fact that I will have to go to sleep and then go to work doing nothing but repetitive manual labor for the next 40 hours a week. But I know that the sooner I finish my certs the sooner I can move on to another job with a more intellectual environment and even better pay. My bosses aren't going to escalate me in the company for jack **** (my co-workers been doing the same **** at the company for 6 years.) So tell me Sword. Are we both going to be working ****ty jobs that we both ****ing hate with asshole managers several years in the future? **** you. **** your ****** manager. **** your overly self-conscious attitude. I don't care about your **** post because everyone **** posts about ****ing anime or some other media garbage. If anyone gives you a problem then **** them. There's nothing wrong with opening up. If you've got something on your chest then say it. And **** the ****ers that do have a problem with it.

 

[DtJ S2n]

Man Acrostic knows how to real talk I'm inspired but also it's 5AM so I think I might go to bed WITH DETERMINATION.

 

[~ Gheb ~]

Do what feels right to you, Sword.

 

[#HBC | Joker]

Really thank god for Jets fans. They really deserve it for the loyalty they have after last season.

soup and I live in Michigan. Our team is the Lions.

 

[#HBC | marshy]

so youre lookin for feedback swords or ya just tryna vent? im just sayin i dont wanna come out soundin like a preacher when youve got ideas to tackle these situations

regardless i feel ya and im all bout posts like that. makes ****** multidimensional

 

[Raziek]

Swords sounds exactly like me from three years ago. I'd post counsel, but I'm studying for a midterm at the moment.

 

[Wots All This Then?]

soup and I live in Michigan. Our team is the Lions.

You have calvin and stafford. Who passed for five thousand yards.

 

[ranmaru]

If you don't tell your mom you'll have to pretend like you have class when you don't. That's how it happened for me. Then I had to tell it to them the hard way later on.

That sucked. So go ahead. Don't tell your mom. You'll just make it harder for yourself down in the year.

 

[#HBC | Dancer]

If you've been repressing all this without having anyone else to unwind on then you seriously do need to open up to someone, anyone about your problems. If you're not comfortable with sharing it online then that's understandable, but jesus you need to find some outlet because you are going to go psycho if I'm correct in reading this as unadulterated frustration.

Just to summarize: Your job is ****.

Certainly an be.

Your school life is ****.

Yes.

Your family life is complicated ****.

Not as much as you'll probably thinking but for the most part yes.

Your ego is ****.

Yes

And your social life is also ****.

Could be better but it has been getting a little better lately.

If I'm not mistaken you literally had to clean **** at your ****ty job. That's pretty crazy ****.

Three times now. But that's not even the problem. Like when people **** where they're not suppose to, someone has to clean it up, and I don't mind being that guy. The problem is that one of my managers is a jackass. I would clean poop up everyday if it meant not having to work with him.

You've got a lot of **** to deal with and if you're definitely keeping a lot of that **** bottled in based on how you interjected. If you need your mom then you should come clean, tell her you're ****ed and then give her the options. You failed the class, you're going to retake or change major or need to take an extra semester in order to get everything in order.

Yeah I do keep my emotions bottled up a lot. I've been wondering about how other people deal with **** in their lives for awhile now. I've noticed that a lot of my coworkers, for instance, will deal with my ****ty manager by literally just yelling back at him, but I would never do that in a million years unless I "snapped" or something. Other college students get stuff off their chest by complaining to their friends. A lot of people release their frustration immediately, or at least in the near future after the point where they've became frustrated. I've been thinking about complaining to someone but I don't want to burden someone with my troubles nor do I really have that many people to open up to in the first place. There's always family but opening up to them feels so awkward.

Your mother will be disappointed and if she's a **** she might even kick you out the ****ing house, but if she's going to betray her own son for a ****ing piece of paper then you could never depend on a ***** like that to support you through hardships in the first place.

Oh no, I would have to murder somebody before she would even considered kicking me out of the house. She's not that type of person. It's just that me and my mother have held a distanced relationship for awhile now. Not a bad one, just a distanced one. My mother started falling away from the family when I was around 10 years old. My dad primarily took care of me and my sisters from the ages 10 and up. My mom has somewhat interrogated her way back into my life and my sister's life (definitely my sister's life more so than mine) in recent times but because I never really interacted with her much after the age of 10 I never really gotten use to talking to her about stuff.

I know it means a lot to you, but your class is a ****ing letter out of seventy on a transcript that means jack **** to most employers. Unless you were planning to go to medical school in the U.S. or pursue a PhD you're going to have to work on a Plan B.

I value this particularly class (Calc 1) a lot because I'm using it as a measure my understanding of math. However because I didn't do the work I'm now left with an incomplete understanding of calc. A lot of my frustrations with clac arises from the algebra of it all, and not the actual calculus. I heard that Calc 2 is pretty hard so we'll see how hard the calculus concepts can actually get when I cross that road but as of now a lot of calculus concepts is just formulas. When I need to do tricky algebra **** in order to use those formulas is where I falter.

I don't know how to address your difficulty in communication with other people. Most of the time I find that the people I interact with know too little and talk too much about issues that have very little substance. It's not really worth knowing them in the first place as they are going nowhere with their lives.

A lot of people who I have trouble talking with are exactly like you've described them. They talk a lot about matters of little substance, so I suppose I shouldn't feel bad about not being able to make conversation with them and I'm glad that you've put it in that context for me. There are a couple, though, who are just too advanced for me, and I feel lost when trying to make conversation with them. When people start having an actual in depth discussion about politics, for example, I don't know where to comment and I feel lost in the conversation. Then again these types of conversations often occur in group settings where a other people also just kind of sit there where like three or four of the other people do most of the talking, so I suppose that I shouldn't feel too bad about this.

I hate my job. I hate my job so much I stay up late at night regretting the fact that I will have to go to sleep and then go to work doing nothing but repetitive manual labor for the next 40 hours a week.

I know that feel. It's like when I have two days off in a row. The first day I feel great, but the second day I start to dread the fact that tomorrow I will have to go to work.

B

ut I know that the sooner I finish my certs the sooner I can move on to another job with a more intellectual environment and even better pay. My bosses aren't going to escalate me in the company for jack **** (my co-workers been doing the same **** at the company for 6 years.) So tell me Sword. Are we both going to be working ****ty jobs that we both ****ing hate with ******* managers several years in the future? **** you. **** your ****** manager. **** your overly self-conscious attitude. I don't care about your **** post because everyone **** posts about ****ing anime or some other media garbage. If anyone gives you a problem then **** them. There's nothing wrong with opening up. If you've got something on your chest then say it. And **** the ****ers that do have a problem with it.

I don't really have anything to say to this, except that I'm planning to try to get a job on campus next semester to replace my current one.

@Marshy: Both, I suppose.

 

[#HBC | ѕoup]

soup and I live in Michigan. Our team is the Lions.

That game was so terrible they ****ing blew it again

 

[#HBC | ZoZo]

Do what feels right to you, Sword.

Since I've started doing this life has been a lot better. 10/10 would recommend.

 

[#HBC | ѕoup]

Real talk. Acrostic speaks truth in that post and I hate my job too. I don't get paid enough for the labor I do and my boss refuses to give me more hours for reasons unknown even though he says he will. He basically lets everyone do what they want (I've seen my co-workers steal out of the cooler, bring in their laptops, and throw **** at each other) and people don't even show up for their shifts sometimes. The sad thing is about it is that there is no management besides my boss and he's never around to really ensure that people are on-task. My boss is overstaffing currently which is shafting me because I only work 2 days in a whole week on minimum wage. Right now I plan to cover for people who don't show because he'll still pay me while I'm clocked in. I'm looking for a second job however because I need more money and I need more hours, and the point I really want to make is that work sucks but things can get better. I'm complaining about my current situation but at least I have a paycheck and a job, which I'm grateful for. I know someday I won't be working at that pitstain because I do want to do something with my life, and I don't plan to work there for the rest of my life. You're really intelligent Swords and I think you should too, and you shouldn't let these things get down on you because they don't define you. A number on a sheet doesn't define you. Where you work doesn't define you. If anything, You should be proud of yourself for working so hard because some people don't even work at all. You're not gonna be in this situation all your life and I'm sure good will come out of it.

 

[#HBC | ѕoup]

I hate phone posting

 

[#HBC | Joker]

You have calvin and stafford. Who passed for five thousand yards.

and yet, they still play like the Lions. We used to have Barry Sanders, and we still failed at every turn. Time has taught me that no amount of unbelievable talent can save them.

 

[#HBC | ѕoup]

I remember hearing how we shoud stick to schwartz but obviously there is more to it and I think the general player mindset is trash and there is no teamwork I mean yeah we have calvin but there's no I in team holy **** we learned this in grade school

 

[#HBC | ѕoup]

Final Fantasy, Zelda, Mother, Megaman, Street Fighter, F-Zero. etc

Touhou, Megaman X, Persona, Mother (Earthbound), and anything related to my childhood (e.g Banjo-Kazooie, Mario (Nintendo) and I also really dig Spyro and Crash's soundtrack hell throw in Okami too okay I can't decide I actually love all video game music)

 

[#HBC | ѕoup]

 

[~ Gheb ~]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qq9CD5kdI5I

 

[#HBC | ѕoup]

For this reason alone, I don't like my college days. I wish I can be over with it, and simply do work and exercise (hapkido) and whatever follows through afterwords, than STUDYING.

I mean I don't know how I can make myself just do work that I don't care to do. My motivation is not there. I mean I'll probably read soon. I also have paper REVISIONS. RLKA:JFAL:FKJDSF DAMN IT.

I know where to go to improve my writing and get assistance with my adjustment to this school, but the problem is the motivation.

I'm just a guy who doesn't give a **** and would play videogames all of his life.

well i figure while im playing catch-up ill comment on this because i feel you man i mean i want to do something with myself but it's definitely not this and college doesn't appeal to me that much and honestly my dad who is 2nd highest up in his work at drywalling and makes like estimate $50 bucks an hour dropped out of high school and it goes to show how you can get somewhere in life without the influence of college or any degree for that matter. idk what my plan is and maybe college is apart of it but i hate the idea given by society that college is the be-all-end-all answer to getting a job when it isn't and no amount of degrees will ever change that they're just a signed document not a ticket to a career

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=0imtmZLmQGc#t=2886

 

[#HBC | ZoZo]

Touhou, Megaman X, Persona, Mother (Earthbound), and anything related to my childhood (e.g Banjo-Kazooie, Mario (Nintendo) and I also really dig Spyro and Crash's soundtrack hell throw in Okami too okay I can't decide I actually love all video game music)

god you did grab all the good ones
gotta give a mega shoutout to Persona3 REINCARNATION soundtrack, that OST was so good. Also P4, cuz Big Band Jazz is amazing. P4 Reincarnation was **** tho.

 

[Xivii]

Intelligence is an artificial concept.

circular hierarchy!

 

[#HBC | Nabe]

Unless you're named Nabe.

Incest joke?

SPOILERS!

Spoiler

good post.

I get that Sherlock's a sociopath and that's a big part of why he gets suckered into the whole thing. From what I recall I felt they could have played up that aspect a bit more. However, I felt as though Sherlock got hugely invested in the existence of this code, apparently going so far as to believe Moriarty tapping on his knee was somehow a big clue, even though he didn't have a good reason to trust anything Moriarty did- after all, ever since Sherlock has known Moriarty, he has known him to be misleading and underhand.

That's one thing- maybe Moriarty is Sherlock's kryptonite, and Sherlock cannot read him like he reads any man or woman in the street. But the other thing for me was the implausibility of Sherlock faking all of the cases. While you're right in saying it's not very believable that someone would try that hard to frame Sherlock, it's also not very believable that Sherlock would try that hard to dupe everyone. Admittedly, a bunch of people dislike Sherlock, and there are questions about his motives and how he solves his cases, but to me, given how implausible it is both that Moriarty would try and frame Sherlock, and that Sherlock would make the whole thing up, there is no hard or fast reason to believe either explanation. I guess I just felt that Sherlock's reputation couldn't go straight to the dogs just based on what Moriarty and the one reporter who believed him said. I mean, did he fake all of the cases that he has solved, or just the big ones? Is his brother in the secret service actually in cahoots with him? What's even his motive for faking these cases, when in public he acts as though he hates the attention?

Anywho. I'm not trying to say that it's a bad episode. But I didn't enjoy it particularly, it didn't flesh out for me very well all the motives in play, or have enough of a resolution for me to leave feeling satisfied. In some ways, yeah, I just want to watch Sherlock kick *** and take names. If that doesn't happen, i'm probably always going to have reservations about why.

Spoiler

Sherlock believed that the tapping was the code, because Moriarty led the foreign assassins to believe that Sherlock knew the code ("Get Sherlock"), and Sherlock figured out that they knew (and therefore that he "knew") after realizing he was being monitored and kept alive by them for some purpose. This was the seed (previously just a fact) that sprouted into the investment and obsession later in the episode, because the code's existence would be the key to saving his reputation.

This was of course prior to the next step, which rendered the existence of the code moot anyway: commit suicide to confirm the lie, or people close to you die. This was always the point of Moriarty's plan, and this is why the implausibility of it didn't matter. Moriarty (thought he) knew that Sherlock was going to die, pitifully, in shame and alone, proving Moriarty's allegations to be true and besmirching Sherlock's name, leaving him defeated in a complete, permanent and classical-tragic manner. The code's purpose was only in getting the assassins to shadow Sherlock, which triggered Mycroft warning Watson, which ensured that later, Watson could be convinced of Mrs. Hudson being shot so that he would leave Sherlock alone, for him then to commit suicide.
uh yeah that is a little belaboured

The second series was about complex character growth moreso than the first, for sure. If you want a really good hero show, check out Game of Thrones. The good guys consistently come out on top in that one.

For what it's worth, there are actually a startling number of theories that suggest that my version of events also isn't what really went down or why, at all, instead leaving Sherlock having figured everything out and then playing the part of the stupid guy later! Point is, you might find that the explanations in series 3 of this episode's events change your ultimate outlook on its strength within the show as a whole.

 

[#HBC | Nabe]

now I'm reading theories
i love this

 

[#HBC | Laundry]

That game was so terrible they ****ing blew it again

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Xivii]

It really surprises me how many of you are into football. soup just doesn't seem like the type
like i could just never get into it. and last year my "friends" begged me to come watch the game with them after i told them i could care less bout it. and then were so aggroset at me because i was on my phone the whole time it was on. the main person that was mad at me hadn't watched a single game of football that season and couldn't name three players if he tried. some people act like they give a care when it's the super bowl when they actually know nothing about the game lol. funny i actually haven't hung out with him since as i told him (very calmly) how much he had been pissing me off lately and that he need to change the way he viewed me. but after that he just stopped hitting me up
Definitely have some touhou from Xonar's playlist.
Ran you should check out these EX3 themes: http://www.youtube.com/user/KillhaFiaro/videos?flow=grid&view=1
Also Ran didn't you and I make a pact to get on one another if we were found to be entering lazy mode? Best get it together son.

-----
-----
Sword I have been in your exact situation sans the manager bit.

w.r.t failing the class, the anticipation is the worst part. at least you know the reason why you failed (the procrastination). now you just got to accept that there's nothing you can do about it now. talking with your adviser is definitely the next step as you said. you're in no way doomed from failing just once. take it from an expert n_n. as for your mom, well she doesn't have to know if you don't want her to. I did horrible my second semester in college and my parents were mad pissed at that. luckily for my third semester i found out i could keep them from accessing my grades. and that it is actually the student's right to keep their grades private. you dont have to lie. but you dont have to tell her either. if you're going to have to retake the class you could just wait until you do to tell her. by then it wont be as big an issue id imagine.

w.r.t not feeling smart anymore. so i can relate to this so much man. when i was younger i was pretty much known as "the smart one". even through middle school i felt pretty smart even though i didn't do well in my classes. heck even in highschool i knew i had something. once i got to college i pretty much lost that. every one seemed to have caught up to me. i think it came from just being lazy. i had an early start but i did not utilize that. everyone seemed to be either equal or above me once college hit. around my fourth semester something just hit me. i dont know what, but i obtained a renewed interest in what i was learning about. finding a way to make yourself interested i think is really the key. once i did i found my self baffled over how simple some of the stuff i had failed on previously was. and how other peeps in my class were struggling over some of the stuff we were learnin. also i think you gotta stop comparin yourself to others. someone is always going to be "better" than u in something. but you gotta focus on the endgame and what you want to achieve yourself. sometimes taking a look at where other people stand is good as it can help you set the bar for where you wanna be, but i think that you're like me and do it way too much and so its destructive rather than constructive. Which brings me to the next thing.

w.r.t conversations. comparing yourself to others is the biggest issue here. i did this same thing for much of my life. id see other people always havin fun, always being able to converse with people so easy and for so long and whenever. but man it's not actually like that for everyone. its a matter of whether or not you are naturally (and/or nurtured to be) a primary introvert or a primary extrovert. For many people (extroverts) interaction like that is what they live for. It's who they are. Us introverts don't really get it. And many extroverts don't get why we don't get it.

Where the big problem comes from though is that we live in a society that glorifies extroversion. And because of that, introverts tend to feel like they aren't as good as extroverts. they feel like they are missing out, aren't fun, and are displaced. None of that is true. Just as there are extroversion-glorified societies, there are introversion-glorified societies. Such as Japan where extroversion behavior is generally looked down upon and being "inward" and even being shy is glorified. I have come to know many Japanese exchange students and teachers especially in college and they will all tell you this same thing. One of my good friends who lives in Japan considers herself an extrovert (you wouldn't be able to tell by American standards) and once expressed to me how she felt displaced on Japan. It seemed very much the way an introvert feels in America.

So what im saying dude is there's nothing wrong with you. what's wrong is society. you dont need to compare yourself to others, you just need to do what you feel. If a conversation does not interest you, there's absolutely no reason you should feel subpar for not being a part of it. You don't ever need to be a part of a conversation if you aren't feeling it. So long as it's not out of fear. (There's a difference between introversion and shyness. Shyness is when you do want to say or do something, but are afraid of doing so. I think there is often a correlation between introversion and shyness. Seeing as introverts will tend to have less social interaction thus less social skills and thus a fear of social situations. But you can very much be an introvert without being shy). seriously man once i accepted who i am i have been so much at peace. i dont feel any obligation to take part in conversations i dont have anything to add in and there's been no set backs because of it. im way happier and i actually feel like i talk more after coming to terms with myself because now everything i say is completely natural and not out of obligation.

w.r.t wasting childhood. same. as i said, i had a head start, but i didn't utilize it. but the past is the past and there's nothing we can do about it now. there's still a lot of time we have. learn from the fact that you didn't do what you wish you did in your childhood and do it now! otherwise you're going to be saying the same thing 20 years from now about today!

 

[Xivii]

The second series was about complex character growth moreso than the first, for sure. If you want a really good hero show, check out Game of Thrones. The good guys consistently come out on top in that one.

oh my god i died

 

[Xivii]

Intelligence is an artificial concept.

Well the thing is, I don't think people realize that there is more to intelligence than what is commonly understood. Intelligence can most likely not be measured. The way that psychologist have traditionally measured intelligence with IQ is just so wrong and bad.

I think the way that most people would agree how we define intelligence is by one's capacity to learn. This can't be measured, but there are some people who you can distinctly say are intelligent. Such as yourself. From what I've seen, you have a really high learning capacity. You understand information quickly and sort that information into relevant associations with other information at a greater rate than normal. I know other people who are like this. The reason why it can't be measured though is that the capacity can vary depending on the situation. And people with a lower capacity can increase their capacity given the right circumstances.

Now the thing that I think most people don't include in their definition of intelligence are all the other aspect that require the mind/body (i.e not just ability to gain knowledge). There is emotional intelligence, inter and intra personal intelligence, verbal intelligence, coordination, discipline, and just so much more. It takes a good football player a good deal of intelligence to train their body, train their skills, train their reactions, and in-game focus. But when we usually think of intelligence, we don't really think of that. We only think of it in the academic sense.