DG Interview Thread: Walrus? Toasted

[Omni]

Impressive interview. 10/10 would be Groot again.

 

[Uncle Ruckus]

vote gorf

cmon yall my ***** gorf is ****in hilarious dont deny it

 

[#HBC | Joker]

vote gorf

cmon yall my ***** gorf is ****in hilarious dont deny it

Any relation?

 

[Uncle Ruckus]

dat was marshy foo

if you're talkin about uncle ruckus himself and not the gorf marshy hydra doe... then lol

 

[#HBC | Mac]

if you're talkin about uncle ruckus himself and not the gorf marshy hydra doe... then lol

hah i only got it once i read this

vote gorf

 

[Evil Eye]

Vote: Gorf

#HBC

 

[Orboknown]

Comnneeeee baaaccckkkkkk eeeeeeeeeee

 

[Handorin]

Good interview. Snowboard Kids 2 was my game back in the day. Also fantastic though, but sadly never owned: Snowboard Kids (1).

Vote: Ran

 

[Shun Goku Satsu Rake]

Comnneeeee baaaccckkkkkk eeeeeeeeeee

Not sure if fangirl or dragged out name

 

[Uncle Ruckus]

Vote: Gorf

#HBC

mah ***** reppin fo da HBC

 

[Evil Eye]

I'm pretty sure Uncle Ruckus only calls people "mah *****" as an insult

 

[#HBC | Gorf]

he DID use the "ah" connotation instead of "er" though. im SURE if that's okay for you people that's okay for everyone else

 

[Gova]

No, he means Uncle Ruckus only calls people ****** both with "ah" and "er" as an insult and you're out of character for him.

 

[Uncle Ruckus]

a ***** not doin what hes supposed ta?

gee. didnt see that comin

 

[#HBC | ZoZo]

and with that the interview of the walrus master himself begins!

 

[#HBC | Gorf]

yo gorf how'd you wind up being so sexy?

 

[Marshmellowman]

if you had to have sex wit 5 pokemon which would you choose?

if you had to play spin the bottle wit 5 dgamers who would you choose?

which dgamers make for a cute couple?

the most physically attractive man/woman in the world is your lover. however they have no personality and you must choose one dgamers personality to implant into the body to bring it to life so yall can live happily. remember you live with this person. you sleep with them. you consistently talk to them. who do you choose and why?

best crime youd like to commit?

cast dgamers as justice league/avengers members

what are the top 3 white trash moments of your life?

what are the top 3 amusing walrus centric stories from your life?

what are your guilty pleasures?

most embarrassing thing your parents know about you?

whats your general opinion of the tournament scene and frequent tourney goers?

if you could invent a law the world had to abide by whatd it be?

if you had to cosplay as someone who would it be and how would you feel about it?

if infracting and warning you in the traditional way isnt enough to deter you what do you suggest mods do to truly punish you?

top 5 lulzy moments from your time in dgames in and or out of game?

any players you feel you have trouble reading? any you feel youre ahead of the curve?

what was it like broin it up wit ee in half life full consequences?

what do you want dgames to do better?

 

[Shun Goku Satsu Rake]

ASL ?

4/20 Blaze it ?

What is love ?

What is the best snack food ?

Perfect day in the life of Gorf ?

What is love ?

You write an award winning book. What is the genre ?

Favourite piece of classical music to play ? To hear ? (Can also be a score or symphony)

One classical artist you'd like to meet ?

You compose a symphony , what type, what is it called ?

Name one guilty pleasure you have.

 

[Evil Eye]

Favorite mafia memories? Why?

Favorite mafia games? Why?

Favorite mafia play of your own, and why? As town and scum (and indy if applicable).

Favorite mafia play of someone else, and why? As town and scum (and indy if applicable)

Favorite town role? Why?

Favorite scum role? Why?

Favorite indy? Why?

Pick your town. 10 DGamer townies.

Pick your scumteam. 4 DGamer scumbuddies.


and now more interesting things I guess


If you were a Batman villain, whom would you be and why?

If you were Batman, how would you tackle crime in Gotham City, with the goal of eradicating it forever?

You have just won one point three trillion dollars, and have always wanted to conquer Earth. How do you do it? Break me down an awesome plan dawg.

Pick five henchmen from DGames to serve as your capos in the world domination plot, and state why. What would their duties be?

Once on the path to conquering the world, agent 007 aka James Bond himself is captured by your henchmen. How do you finish him once and for all? What speech do you give in the process, if any?

Make a joke about Rockin that is better than any of the Rockin jokes that have already been requested.

Make a GAY joke about Rockin that fits the same criteria -- if the prior joke was already a gay joke, make a second one to top it. Get it? Top? Nyuk yuk yuk.

You are a starship captain tasked with the mission of finding life on at least one other planet so that you may exchange technology and culture to solve a worldwide crisis back home. The lives of Earth are all at stake. What kind of captain will you be? How will you lead your people? What would your mission directives be? How would you handle first contact? Also which DGamer would you designate as your XO and why?

You have the power to transform into one type of animal. What kind, and why?

Do you become a superhero or a supervillain with that power? If neither, why, but also choose one of hero/villain and tell me why too.

Swiss and Ryker have obtained the power to directly translate their love of themselves into engorged dongs, and will duel atop the rim of a volcano with their newfound erectile weaponry for total world domination. Victory will relate directly to the literal projected size of one's ego, however, if one can ego HARDER with a smaller ego, that too can seize victory. Who becomes the new overlord and why?

Same question, except with Marshy and KevinM, and instead of huge weaponized members they get Swag-infused sunglasses with which they will have a heatvision duel. Who and why and yadda yadda.

You're in a dance-off with Macman, a guy that not only used to be a top tier recreational break dancer, but also is black. You have two weeks to prepare. How do you win???

Do you think your muscles could stop a bullet?

You're in a supermaximum security prison when suddenly the cell doors open and a huge riot breaks out. Your cellmate, Crazy Jose, immediately leaps into the fray while you sit on your bunk, stunned by what is happening. You know ****'s about to get BAD... what do you do? How do you survive?

Any superpower you want and why?

You have to get in a hand to hand fight to the death with either The Joker or Two-Face. Who and why? What's your strategy to win this thing? Weapons will be frisked for and confiscated, or you can choose a melee weapon of your desire -- Joker would use a knife and Two-Face would use a steel pipe. Actually answer for both straight hand to hand or with weapons, now. Note that Joker's knife is somewhat dulled, to counterbalance the brokenness of knives.

You're at a gas station, self-serve, at 4am. No one is around for miles. As you're gassing up, a black man steps forth from the shadows and introduces himself as Rockin. What do you do?

Do you think the Face of Gova could be harnessed for evil, or is it basically the opposite of the Ark of the Covenant?

 

[Marshmellowman]

you wake up half naked and feeling some kind of...fur on yur lower body. as yu tilt yur head up and look you see a large man dressed up as a fox purring as his head lies against yur thigh. you look around and see a banner several feet above you that says "FURRY CON 2014." what do yu do from here?

top 3 funniest moments on skype wit dgamers

wats somethin yu do differently from most others?

describe the environment yu most enjoy gettin sauced in

whats your first memory?

if dgames was a school briefly describe the different cliques/groups

if dgames was a mafia game what would the roles be?

describe the ultimate troll as to whom itd apply and whatd yu do

lets say yu were mod of dgames for a week. what would happen under the gorf regime? how bout if yu owned the site?

5 dgamers to kick it with

any hydras yud like to see?

if you could namechange 5 different dgamers who and to what?

3 wishes

whats your earliest memory?

what are your best traits as a person?

if you could take something away from the world what would it be?

if you could force sakurai to troll smash 4 with 1 feature or character what would it be?

what does hbc mean to you?

how did you get into mafia?

what frustrates you most about the game?

top 3 funniest moments from a mafia game

greatest strength and weakness as a player

what or who do you like to see in a mafia game? what or who makes yu facepalm?

 

[Ashemu]

if you had to have sex wit 5 pokemon which would you choose?

i hope nobody ever interviews me on the intenret ever

 

[Wots All This Then?]

Stick around in dgames and it'll happen

 

[Marshmellowman]

i hope nobody ever interviews me on the intenret ever

its a rite of passage

 

[Ashemu]

gorf im a walrus virgin, what would u recommend to me

 

[Shun Goku Satsu Rake]

Gorf, I'm a walrus looking for virgins and...

gorf im a walrus virgin

 

[Handorin]

Stick around in dgames and it'll happen

Hasn't happened to me yet.

So I'll continue to live in the shadows.

 

[#HBC | Red Ryu]

Placeholder for when I get my questions ready.

 

[Shun Goku Satsu Rake]

Why is Scooby-Doo named after the least important character to the show ?

 

[Shun Goku Satsu Rake]

its a rite of passage

Don't you mean a write of passage huehuehuehue

 

[Marshmellowman]

old school video games yu enjoy?

wat wuld yu want written on yur dgames tombstone? (answer this last)

 

[Shun Goku Satsu Rake]

Will you ever answer these ?

 

[#HBC | Gorf]

heres to hoping this interview doesnt get me infracted!

yo gorf how'd you wind up being so sexy?

you know i honestly cant say... i think it started on my way outta the womb when (true story incoming) the nurse commented on my "extremely chiseled jawline" and my "oddly impeccable blue eyes," but ayy who knows? thats something for the scholars to ponder upon.

if you had to have sex wit 5 pokemon which would you choose?

(not in any particular order)

1) roselia (babe)

2) muk (couples who use acid together stay together )

3) kangaskhan (im a milf guy)

4) jynx (jungle fever)

5) garbodor (i like em a lil dirty)

if you had to play spin the bottle wit 5 dgamers who would you choose

god damn youre kinda pinnin me on this one

mayling FUH SHO
j
july
smargaret
and... kuz (hes got AWESOME hair)

which dgamers make for a cute couple?

DEFINITELY raz + ryker
marsh + kevm
kuz + gorf
jdietz + his right hand
nich + swordsrbroken

the most physically attractive man/woman in the world is your lover. however they have no personality and you must choose one dgamers personality to implant into the body to bring it to life so yall can live happily. remember you live with this person. you sleep with them. you consistently talk to them. who do you choose and why?

ssbf

NOW HEAR ME OUT. this guys probz one of the most genuinely nice genuinely nice dgames personalities out there. as a woman, that translates to essentially letting me have my way with her in like ANY way possible. thatd be awesome.

best crime youd like to commit?

TREASON #taliban2014

cast dgamers as justice league/avengers members

j = wonderwoman
mac = guy with trippy face
gorf = black widow (but id change my name to white widow (holla at cha boy if yu wanna detailed answer for this one but AT LEAST mac should feel me on dis **** )
joey and circus = hawkeye cuzza the gay thing
ryker + stew = captain america cuzza the hick thing
ee = the hulk.
rockin = aquaman

what are the top 3 white trash moments of your life?

WELL...
i got dreads once.
this one time i was walking to my friends house who lives 15 minutes walking distance and i got ****ing SUN BURNED.
and i think hot dogs are the shiz (basically that's a white trash lifestyle choice)

what are the top 3 amusing walrus centric stories from your life?

oh man this question's MUCH better
there was this time where my boy was telling me he was gonna toast some chick out n try to get wit her. ***** brought a dub n the chick brought an eighth. i asked em if he smashed. he said he was ashamed.
there have been PLENTY of times where i played gigs (i'm a pianist for those who don't know) toasted outta my MIND. this one time me i was playing for tarzan the musical for this reeeeally ****ty theatre (the shows weren't AWFUL but they treated the musicians like trash, but i mean i was starting out in the theatre world so **** it amirite) n this was like the growth of my comfort for playing gigs toasted. for every single show, my boy would bring his water toaster n we'd get super toasted before the show started, and we'd do the same during the 15 minute intermission. but one day our OTHER boy who had just recently started toasting wanted to try cuz of how boring the show was to play. so he did... and this ***** wouldn't stop laughing ALL DAMN SHOW! mad sloppy playin, coughin randomly. wed just look at eachother time to time n start silently crackin up. **** was the best. after the show he came up to me and commended me on being able to endure toastedness during a show lmao
during my senior year of high school, i kinda 180'd from the kid who'd do just enough to get good enough grades (i started the year with a 3.25 gpa) to the kid who realized he'd done well enough and did LITERALLY enough to not fail (finished with a 3.01 with 2 f's, a d, a b in gov (what a bitchass class) and 2 a's in my music classes). this transition happened early on, in early october. at the time, the drama program was doing this neat project where they incorporated 80's rock into shakespere's 12th night, and i got selected as the music director. id go to drama for third block whenever i had piano. BUT, for about a month, i skipped my english class (which was my OTHER third block) n went to drama instead. without fail, whenever i was there n not teaching music, i was getting toasted with my drama homies (mostly in the woodshop lmao). after about a month of skipping english, i was roaming the hallway toasted with my homie, going up the stairs, when all of a sudden BAM i run into my english teacher. i **** you not, the words that came out of her mouth were "CAMERON! you haven't been in class for so long we were wondering where you had gone! go on n get back to class im making copies of the homework!" my feeling of disbelief had never escalated from that point. i walked back into class and since the teacher was out everyone was either laughing or asking me what dafuq had happened to me. that's a story for the ages.

what are your guilty pleasures?

glee (while the main cast was still in high school, grew disinterested after that)
nevershoutnever
those are the two biggest ones, the rest are probz not even worth mentioning


most embarrassing thing your parents know about you?

there was this one time we were going on a family vacation up to orlando for a soccer tourney for my sister n we stopped at a subway's on the way back home. i had to crap to i went to the bathroom and this was the crap that exceeded all craps. like when i tell you this crap was colossal, dude my anus was burning like the fiery pits of hell. crap got on the TOILET SEAT. how he hell does that even HAPPEN? anyway i couldn't flush so i kinda just left it there. i tried hurrying my family outta the subway and it worked! all the way till my dad decided he needed to go to the bathroom... i remember sitting in the car n watching my dad go in, be disgusted leaving, and cleaning that **** up himself. i was shunned the rest of the way down, and now my whole family loves pointing back to that fateful story if they ever wanna get an edge on me. like god damn **** WAS EVERYWHERE.


whats your general opinion of the tournament scene and frequent tourney goers?

**** the tourney scene. 'sall a buncha weirdos n closet dwellers. i dug it when i was 14 but like **** dat ****. it's aight when you're toasted n with your homies but NEVER go sober n NEVER go without a friend
if you could invent a law the world had to abide by whatd it be?

internationally recognizing 4:20 as a secular holiday n celebrating "accordingly"


if you had to cosplay as someone who would it be and how would you feel about it?

id cosplay as the dad from the oblongs n make everyone around me uncomfortable. it'd be awesome.

if infracting and warning you in the traditional way isnt enough to deter you what do you suggest mods do to truly punish you?

positive reinforcement. gimme perks if i do the right thing and just talk to me about how what i did was wrong. it works for dogs.

top 5 lulzy moments from your time in dgames in and or out of game?

making it to lylo in sonic mafia which was my 2nd game ever. i was ****ting bricks n i had NO idea how i made it that far. but **** was hysterical.
my entire experience in half life flc wit ee. what a g
talkin **** with kuz on skype when he was drunk or i was toasted. ahh... good times
brewyu.
BLECK! THERE'S SEMEN IN MY MOUTH!

any players you feel you have trouble reading? any you feel youre ahead of the curve?

i have particular trouble readin laundry. dat guy is SO good at lookin town no matter what he rolls. kantplay always seems to look scummier when he's town and therefore translates to lookin townier when he's scum, so i gotta change my paradigm when i read em.

what was it like broin it up wit ee in half life full consequences?

dude it was the bomb. **** em for foolin me in the end but JOHN AND GORDON 4EVER. i honestly doubt most of our time was even spent talkin bout the game, rather just talkin **** n kickin back.

what do you want dgames to do better?

overall, GET SOME ****IN EMPATHY. personally, i used to think i was WAY better when i was back in the day. im objectively not as good as i used to think i was, but that in and of itself allowed me to see the faults in my play and actually take advice given and grow. reading people right or wrong doesn't make one better. tells ARE objective. readin someone right for the wrong reasons doesn't make you good, it just inflates your ego. plus reads aren't everything.

ASL ?

19/m/fl


4/20 Blaze it ?

unfortunately not anymore cuz circumstances, but all day erryday


What is love ?

love is when you...
love is...
it's like...
it's kinda...
sorta like a...
what is love?
i-
let me spell it for you

L is for lying through your damn teeth
O is for oral both ways
V is for vocalizing all std's
and E is for ex one day!

What is the best snack food ?

peanut m&m's hands down


Perfect day in the life of Gorf ?

wake up
toast
play some music
toast
write some music
toast
couch melt
toast
play some music
toast
write some music
toast
go to sleep

rinse and repeat


What is love ?

i feel like i'm seeing double


You write an award winning book. What is the genre ?

erotic autobiography


Favourite piece of classical music to play ? To hear ? (Can also be a score or symphony)

i'm personally not a HUGE fan of playing classical music mostly cuz i'm not a HUGE fan of playing piano in general, but on a general aspect i love playing classical piano sonatas. back in the day form was very strict, n you could easily hear the best of the best exploiting and manipulating the formula to bring their ideas to life if you understand the construction behind it. it's fascinating. i LOOOOOOOOOOOVE excerpts from wagner's the ring. never listened to the whole thing in one sitting, but one day i plan on going to germany JUST so i can see the whole thing live.

One classical artist you'd like to meet ?

beethoven. dude's a genius.


You compose a symphony , what type, what is it called ?

i'd make it 100% ridiculous avant garde n name it "hardly music" (nothing against avant garde itself, but some things are just like cmon)

Favorite mafia memories? Why?

in a upick game hosted by zv in the disco room, me n gatlin BOTH picked zv. his role was to find me and attach himself to me. mine was bp unlynchable. after he attached himself to me, mafia killed em and we both died. **** was too funny.


Favorite mafia games? Why?

anything cello's town in cuz watching em operate is awesome. seriously for those who haven't experienced em go into the archives n check em out, dude's an anomaly.


Favorite mafia play of your own, and why? As town and scum (and indy if applicable).

as town, i liked dk maf or whatever dafuq it was called, that one way back when hosted by kantrip. me n an unofficial kuz/ee hydra balled the **** outta the scum team in like 5 posts and the rest of the game basically dwindled down to me not realizing it was a 2 man team and that kuz/ee were the indy. the last Night rolled around n it was me, player x, and kuz/ee. idk if it was the Day before or that Night, but i had figured out that kuz/ee were the final indy. note that i was a bp who never claimed. on a complete stroke of luck, they targeted ME, and i lynched em to secure the town win.
as scum, my favorite memory had to come from BOTH of ruy's f&l's. those were the only times i ever claimed scum, and got to live long enough to try n help town find the other team cuz **** em, if i can't win they can't win. ironically enough though both zozo and scary slipped through the cracks and won the games for their respective teams.

Favorite mafia play of someone else, and why? As town and scum (and indy if applicable)

dude that game where ee wrote a novella case against j was hysterical. i think it was pulp fiction...? im not sure but i was DYING.


Favorite town role? Why?

doc. i love bein able to have a ****** back, n seeing a no kill the next Day feels soooo satisfying.


Favorite scum role? Why?

janitor (when my team has it). i love setting up the massive hysteria about those ambiguous question marks that flip n watching town run like ants when you spit in their anthill.


Favorite indy? Why?

ehh... id say nabe's indy lovers but i don't have a PARTICULAR favorite.


Pick your town. 10 DGamer townies.

cello
kuz
marshy
ee
laundry
nich
frozen
ash
mac
tom


Pick your scumteam. 4 DGamer scumbuddies.

marshy
ee
swiss
kevm

If you were a Batman villain, whom would you be and why?

harvey twoface. dude's a badass with a purpose. plus his backstory is a really good mix of believable and ridiculous.


If you were Batman, how would you tackle crime in Gotham City, with the goal of eradicating it forever?

id give everyone a j and everyone would be happy


You have just won one point three trillion dollars, and have always wanted to conquer Earth. How do you do it? Break me down an awesome plan dawg.

1.3 trillion dollars.

10% immediately gets cashed out and is dug into a really deep hole in the middle of an undisclosed desert. who knows when you may need that ****.
id start off by buying the entire mexican drug cartel and make them my personal army.
next comes the taliban. they're gonna help me conquer the middle eastern area.
imma have the mexican drug cartel shoot their way through america and canada since i'll have already bought out all those poorass south american countries n made em take the big ones via guerilla warfare. the citizens there will act as reinforcements to the drug cartel.
as soon as the middle east is taken over, i'll lure in the north african countries with some food and drugs provided by my drug cartel. they'll move their way down south n i'll have total control over africa easy peasy.
now, the taliban will team up with iran who i've decided to align with in order to take out america's government. imma nuke all of washington dc.
canada will be so scared they'll just surrender. pfft.
greenland can't do **** so they'll surrender too.
after all is said and done, i currently have the middle east, all of africa, and all of the americas. now's the fun part.
imma get the taliban and my new friends north korea to help me out in asia. see, when i made the alliance with north korea, i found out that they really ARE that advanced in nuclear warfare, which works out well. cuz imma nuke the **** outta china. all the surrounding not-china countries will end up surrendering cuz they're like "dude you ****ed up china holy **** lemme be on your side. what can we do to help?"
"that's easy. eradicate all life from australia."
so while all that's going on, i was already making a deal with russia to attack eastern europe. i told those ****** they'd be my right hand man in ruling the world. i lied. cuz im having north korea and the africans invade eastern russia.
so while im blindsiding russia, i'm sending the taliban and what remains of the mexican cartel into western europe to destroy everything. and by everything i mean EVERYTHING.
so as nations crumble and the asians are done in australia, i disperse them between western europe and eastern russia as clean up crew.
europe falls, russia is blindsided, and i become ruler of the world. so what do i do now?
well, remember that 130 billion i buried before? i dig that **** up n have the mexican cartel grow me walrus for the rest of my life while i live luxuriously in the bahamas. maybe i'll get a tan (even though i'm SURE i'll just burn).
Pick five six henchmen from DGames to serve as your capos in the world domination plot, and state why. What would their duties be?

mac will lead the mission in africa.
marshy and rajam will lead the mexican drug cartel.
jex and terywj will help lead the asians through australia first, and then western europe and eastern russia, respectively.
and i'll hold auditions of all past dgamers for the taliban leader and see who best fits the racial profile, since that's how the previous members were chosen.
Once on the path to conquering the world, agent 007 aka James Bond himself is captured by your henchmen. How do you finish him once and for all? What speech do you give in the process, if any?

id go medieval on his ass and put em on a stretcher. just as he's about to finally die, i'm going to pull out a gold nugget carved into an eye and simply say

"the game was better"

and listen to em snap
Make a joke about Rockin that is better than any of the Rockin jokes that have already been requested.

rockin was walkin down the street one day when he noticed a sign that said "circus: one day only," along with the address. rockin frantically ran toward the address.
later that evening, rockin went home with a sad look on his face. his mother asked em, "rockin honey what's wrong?"
"i went to the circus" said rockin.
"what, did you not enjoy it?" asked his mother.
"well, i went inside with no clothes on," rockin stated. "they really need to be more specific when they say circus: one day only."
Make a GAY joke about Rockin that fits the same criteria -- if the prior joke was already a gay joke, make a second one to top it. Get it? Top? Nyuk yuk yuk.

rockin brought j some ice cream the other day. j took a bite.
"wow, this ice cream is just yummy! i just LOVE the taste of pineapple!"
rockin chuckled, and said "that's not pineapple, but good to know!"
disheveled, j scrunched his face up and uttered
"BLECK! THERE'S SEMEN IN MY MOUTH!"
You are a starship captain tasked with the mission of finding life on at least one other planet so that you may exchange technology and culture to solve a worldwide crisis back home. The lives of Earth are all at stake. What kind of captain will you be? How will you lead your people? What would your mission directives be? How would you handle first contact? Also which DGamer would you designate as your XO and why?

imma be a very peaceful captain. i'll make sure to bring a ton of walrus and a torch in order to give them a lil taste of what's back home so the aliens would become invested in helping our planet. we'll have an engineer on board who's nobel prize winning thought translator will be used to communicate directly with the aliens. it'll be sweet. i'd def get cello in case things go wrong, kinda like a good cop bad cop type thing.
You have the power to transform into one type of animal. What kind, and why?

a (domestic) dog. they have it MADE! all they do is walk around, chill, get petted, eat, and be happy all day. das wassup.
Do you become a superhero or a supervillain with that power? If neither, why, but also choose one of hero/villain and tell me why too.

well depends. do you consider voyeuring on your hot owner and getting away with it the work of a superhero or a supervillain?
Swiss and Ryker have obtained the power to directly translate their love of themselves into engorged dongs, and will duel atop the rim of a volcano with their newfound erectile weaponry for total world domination. Victory will relate directly to the literal projected size of one's ego, however, if one can ego HARDER with a smaller ego, that too can seize victory. Who becomes the new overlord and why?

swiss. ryker boasts, but swiss' ego is thicker than any man has ever seen. you can't budge an ego like that.
Same question, except with Marshy and KevinM, and instead of huge weaponized members they get Swag-infused sunglasses with which they will have a heatvision duel. Who and why and yadda yadda.

kevm. marshy's got a life given handicap of being hispanic; kevin had to EARN that swag, therefore surely has more knowledge and control over it. but in reality they'd both just truce n prolly go to the club n smash some fine *******, ya know, use their power for good.
You're in a dance-off with Macman, a guy that not only used to be a top tier recreational break dancer, but also is black. You have two weeks to prepare. How do you win???

it'll take a lot of hard work, but i think i can cap enough acid to pour into his drink n make him go psychotic, therefore making him surrender the dance-off.
Do you think your muscles could stop a bullet?

no
You're in a supermaximum security prison when suddenly the cell doors open and a huge riot breaks out. Your cellmate, Crazy Jose, immediately leaps into the fray while you sit on your bunk, stunned by what is happening. You know ****'s about to get BAD... what do you do? How do you survive?

i immediately request solitary confinement. in prison you gotta take the high road.
Any superpower you want and why?

discretely being able to see through clothes. BY CHOICE THOUGH. i dun wanna slip up ya feel me?

You have to get in a hand to hand fight to the death with either The Joker or Two-Face. Who and why? What's your strategy to win this thing? Weapons will be frisked for and confiscated, or you can choose a melee weapon of your desire -- Joker would use a knife and Two-Face would use a steel pipe. Actually answer for both straight hand to hand or with weapons, now. Note that Joker's knife is somewhat dulled, to counterbalance the brokenness of knives.

two face; the joker's ****in CRAZY.
in a hand to hand i'd make sure to play it defensive till two face starts getting kinda fatigued. the second he lets his guard down i gnaw into the bad half of his face (ayy if it's for your life playin dirty is a okay) and don't let go while i restrain both his arms and close his trachea off. remember kids- go smart, not hard.
now, a melee weapon battle is different. id go for a shovel. first off, id do my best to keep my distance n try gettin his knee caps; nobody EVER expects a blow to the knee caps but that **** hurts. as soon as i get his knee caps, i smack the hand that's holdin the steel pipe n just MUTILATE his face... even more.
You're at a gas station, self-serve, at 4am. No one is around for miles. As you're gassing up, a black man steps forth from the shadows and introduces himself as Rockin. What do you do?

o_o
running wont work cuz rockins black and can probably catch me
so i... start talkin n chillin em while hoping for the best and making sure my handy dandy tazer (since i carry one around in this hypothetical) is in reach at all times. if he tries anything... well... BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Do you think the Face of Gova could be harnessed for evil, or is it basically the opposite of the Ark of the Covenant?



how can anyone think a face as sweet as that could be used for evil

you wake up half naked and feeling some kind of...fur on yur lower body. as yu tilt yur head up and look you see a large man dressed up as a fox purring as his head lies against yur thigh. you look around and see a banner several feet above you that says "FURRY CON 2014." what do yu do from here?

i walk away disappointed knowing everyone there is too much of a ***** to try me

top 3 funniest moments on skype wit dgamers

well there's the previously mentioned brewyu + bleck semen stories. and pretty much ANYTHING having to do with trolling soup back in the day. **** was too funny.

wats somethin yu do differently from most others?

i pronounce ketchup as catch up n people get so ****in freaked out. like ***** you know what i said.

describe the environment yu most enjoy gettin sauced in

babes scattered, plenty to choose from. all that's needed to be said.

whats your first memory?

my brother and i having finished a bath that my dad gave us. we got outta the shower and my brother was tryna dry his back but couldn't figure out the whole holding the towel behind you thing, but i did n my dad was like "good job gorf!"

if dgames was a school briefly describe the different cliques/groups

ee's the football captain
mayling july j and tandora are the cheerleaders
joey circus rockin and ruy are the coordinators of the lgbt awareness club
ryker and raz are in the closet
me kuz marshy mac kev frozen and ee toast behind the back of the school before school starts and every day in lunch (others occasionally come but we go HARDBODY).
soup's the kid who people think are gonna blow up the whole school
cello's the only member of the chess team
swiss ruy and kantrip regularly bring a flask filled with a certain bitter liquid and drink from it throughout the day.
gheb's the hipster
ashemu is a foreign exchange student
j and i run the theatre club
mac's that guy who keeps repeating the same grade

if dgames was a mafia game what would the roles be?

rake, mafia traitor
kantrip, hated townie
soup, town lightningrod
jex, innocent townie
orbo, vt
cello, town vote manipulator
ee, town cop
kevm, mafia godfather
gorf, mafia janitor
marshy, town miller

describe the ultimate troll as to whom itd apply and whatd yu do

the ultimate troll would probably be convincing the christians that jesus wasn't real. what id do is manipulate scriptures n piece em together in such a way that it'd be impossible to disprove my theory. id gather a following, travel to the vatican, and assassinate the pope, crowning myself pope gorf the 1st. id change all the bibles in the world and make em say one thing: JESUS ISN'T REAL. that'll show them

lets say yu were mod of dgames for a week. what would happen under the gorf regime? how bout if yu owned the site?

oh boy
id give SOOOOOOOOO many points to ruy for mentioning alcohol (which im sure is a technicality somewhere in the rules) that he'd be perma banned. he's such a stickler to the rules that he'd never join the site again and he'd cry himself to sleep.
if i were owner, i'd sell the domain to an online dating service for the ghetto and profit. get it? smashboards?

5 dgamers to kick it with

kuz
marshy
ee
mac
xonar

any hydras yud like to see?

x1/gorf (lol i bet that'd play out terribly)

if you could namechange 5 different dgamers who and to what?

#hbc | marshy = dirty wetback
evil eye = #hbc | evil eye
#hbc | red ryu = #hbc red ruy
swiss = ginger
#hbc | badwolf = horse****er

3 wishes

endless babes
endless walrus
musical prowess

whats your earliest memory?

*****

what are your best traits as a person?

my humility and my fat ****

if you could take something away from the world what would it be?

violence man #woodstock69

if you could force sakurai to troll smash 4 with 1 feature or character what would it be?

items CAN'T be turned off. ill watch as the competitive community squirms

what does hbc mean to you?

hbc is more than just some abbreviation. hbc is a, nay, THE way of life. someone's acting like trash? **** outta hear! hbc dat mudda ****a! i hbc every day, every waking MOMENT i'm hbcing! aint nothin stoppin wackness unless the hbc's there to put it at a screeching HALT.

how did you get into mafia?

i used to play cry wolf, this aim game that was similar to mafia in the sense that there was an uninformed majority and an informed minority. there were no pr's, and town would sometimes get "whispers," telling them that 1/3 of the people listed were scum or this or that. it was actually really neat. it was based off this movie of the same name. i came here thinking it was the same thing, and although similar, i realized it was definitely different. but it was fun.

what frustrates you most about the game?

when a scumteam ****in screws itself over by either not caring or not straight up taking its team down with itself. it's like cmon.

top 3 funniest moments from a mafia game

x1 getting cold caught in one post from some mafia game i can't remember atm
swordsrbroken counterclaiming dayvig
ryker bodying ee even though he was an innocent child in mario party 2 maf

greatest strength and weakness as a player

oddly enough, id say my greatest strength corrolates with my greatest weakness: i allow myself to second guess my reads. sometimes, it works great, cuz what i think is scummy sometimes turns out to just be dumb or wrong and i can go from there. but sometimes i get paranoid or cause myself to damn myself. i haven't quite gotten a hold of being 100% positive yet, but on average id say i usually hit the mark pretty close.

what or who do you like to see in a mafia game? what or who makes yu facepalm?

good players.
i can't say i particularly DISLIKE seeing anyone, but when i see the same damn mistakes happen across the board im just like "really? cmon."
gorf im a walrus virgin, what would u recommend to me

alaskan thunder****. no seriously.

old school video games yu enjoy?

smash 64
mk64
mario golf 64

those three games are TIMELESS

Do you hate me in mafia a lot?

only sometimes when you do unbelievably stupid **** n ride idiotic reads to the high heavens. other than that nah, i try n start fresh with every player every game until actions are repeated.

What is a Ruy?

a ruy is a drunk furry who has too much time on his hands, so he monitors a whole website n takes things that gorf's say too seriously n calls em "flaming" or "harassment" or "inappropriate content."

If you could have an unstoppable 8 headed Hydra, who would be in it?

marshy
kuz
garg
ee
zozo
and 3 me's so that we can all talk **** n **** around

What you doing in school right now?

a LOT of piano, for lack of a long winded answer.

I feel like you think I am biased against you, I'm really not. I just get pissed when you tunnel me as a "must be lynched policy". Why did you think I was being biased even though you asked me way back when why I've been letting things go?

im not ENTIRELY sure what you mean by this, but imma try to answer it in the best way possible: the only times ill ever tunnel you as a policy lynch is if you go off the deep end in *********** and/or lack of attachment in the game. it's like game cancer when you're ****ting on the game man. i also find it incredibly annoying for someone to take the "socially just" stance against the way i speak (especially in a mafia game) which is why you may think i think you have a bias against me. i'm sure you don't. but like **** lol

Worst bands to ever exist?

pretty much dj's. nuf said.

Have you met my girl Tangerine, she like to bowl with Mary Jane.

nah but she sure sounds nice

Who needs to come back to DGames?

kuz
kuz
kuz
cello
kuz
ee
kuz
ee
xonar
aaaaaand... kuz

Will you make a new Walrus avatar?

i didn't even make this one

?

.

Furries or Weeaboos?

bleck neither

Who is the best Teen Titan?

beast boy
cyborg because he's black

?

.

Have you tried out smash 4? Who are you gonna main?

hell yea that ****'s the BOMB. out of the five in the demo im probably gonna main villager but i wanna wait n see how the rest feel. however all five of em are fun as **** n i'd be surprised if i don't end up enjoying all of em in the long run (especially link i'm impressed).

Do you think Pot being illegal is horse **** like I do? We can drink and smoke stuff that is objectively worse than pot but it's A-ok to do everything else that is worse?

yea man. the only thing is that it's much harder to put a tax on something like that which is why the process isn't nearly as easy as it should be. like if it's legal it's as easy as putting a seed into the ground and BAM you have your own home business.


wat wuld yu want written on yur dgames tombstone? (answer this last)

"in walrus, we toast."

 

[#HBC | marshy]

most embarrassing thing your parents know about you?

there was this one time we were going on a family vacation up to orlando for a soccer tourney for my sister n we stopped at a subway's on the way back home. i had to crap to i went to the bathroom and this was the crap that exceeded all craps. like when i tell you this crap was colossal, dude my anus was burning like the fiery pits of hell. crap got on the TOILET SEAT. how he hell does that even HAPPEN? anyway i couldn't flush so i kinda just left it there. i tried hurrying my family outta the subway and it worked! all the way till my dad decided he needed to go to the bathroom... i remember sitting in the car n watching my dad go in, be disgusted leaving, and cleaning that **** up himself. i was shunned the rest of the way down, and now my whole family loves pointing back to that fateful story if they ever wanna get an edge on me. like god damn **** WAS EVERYWHERE.

a mere snippet from one of the most socially groundbreaking and thought provoking interviews ever conducted

thank yu gorf for raising the bar

 

[#HBC | Mac]

gorf = black widow (but id change my name to white widow (holla at cha boy if yu wanna detailed answer for this one but AT LEAST mac should feel me on dis **** )

def a favorite

mac's that guy who keeps repeating the same grade

**** u ***** i skipped kindergarden

 

[#HBC | Gorf]

i now nominate mayling, mcfox and chaco for the ice bucket challenge to be interviewed

 

[Marshmellowman]

vote chaco

das mah *****

 

[BarDulL]

vote: chaco

seems like a bro to me

 

[Shun Goku Satsu Rake]

Vote chaco-latte

 

[#HBC | Red Ryu]

**** I missed questions for Gorf.

Any chance I can ask anyways?

 

[#HBC | Gorf]

go for it dawg