CC - Smasher Assaulted for Using Smash Terminology In Real Life

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North Carolina native Ed Shives has reportedly been throat punched multiple times by a friend for 'using Smash terminology in real life'. The incident occurred while the 16 year old Ed and his friend Ryan were at an IMAX movie theater earlier this week. It was there were Ed began harassing moviegoers by spouting a series of Smash related terms at them.

"Everything was a either a nice read or spotdodge. At first what he said bore slight relevance to the thing being commented on but it later diverged into nonsense," Ryan recalls. "People were concerned at first, then annoyed, and then self-loathsome, even to the point where some were even questioning the nature of existence right then and there."

According to eyewitnesses, they could hear Ed softly whispering in their ears statements like "nice backair" but before they could turn around to see who it was, he had already disappeared. Ryan said it only got worse.

Ed was apparently even harassing couples in the theater by saying that 'they weren't a good match up'.

"That's not even the bad part. At one point Ed started rambling off Tafo-esque stats of the likelihood that at least one person in the theater would develop coronary heart disease in the future. He actually had citations on hand to back it up."

It was at that point that Ryan decided he had gone too far and figured the only way to shut him up was by throat punching him several times. This didn't help.

"When I punched him in the throat he said that wasn't the most optimal place to punch if desiring to inflict the most damage and then he started suggested the spleen for maximum pain."

Eventually, a police officer was called in to calm Ryan and diffuse the situation. Ed however, only worsened the circumstances by inciting the officer's rage.

"He told me that the 'pedestrian-policeman match-up' was 20-80," said the officer. "I didn't know what he meant but judging by the nonsense he was spouting out at the time, I assumed it was an insult aimed towards me. Naturally, I joined his friend in beating him up."

Ed was later detained and is currently awaiting trial. The debacle made international headlines and even some persons of power chimed in on the situation, with Donald Trump somehow relating this to National Security.

Stay tuned on Smashboards to hear about what happens to Ed.

 

Don't make fun of Donald Trump. People have deceived you into thinking he is a bad man, but don't listen to the news, they are filled with a bunch of satanic and immoral liars. Do the research on Donald Trump yourself, and also research Hillary Clinton. You'll be surprised. Donald Trump is the best thing america has going for it right now. Trust me.

Hm... I dunno. Why would EVERY SINGLE NEWS ARTICLE WRITER have a grudge against ONE political figure? That seems overly far-fetched if you ask me.

 

Hm... I dunno. Why would EVERY SINGLE NEWS ARTICLE WRITER have a grudge against ONE political figure? That seems overly far-fetched if you ask me.

Simple. They are being controlled. You also have to consider it strange that they all so happen to be liberals, and even stranger that a man who wrote a book regarding Hillary Clinton's true personality that was booked to be interviewed by multiple news stations and mysteriously got cancelled for all but one.

There's a reason so many people are backing Trump. The media wants you to believe that they're all kids who didn't get a formal education or graduate college, however, I know many professional lawyers and other significant business figures who are voting for him. People who have gotten formal educations, and people who are intelligent enough to discern the right from the wrong.

Again, do your research of them, both of them, and look thoroughly. You may still hate Trump after seeing the truth, but you can't rule him out without at least giving him a chance, and I'd much rather have him than Lyin' Ted or Crooked Hillary.

 

Simple. They are being controlled. You also have to consider it strange that they all so happen to be liberals, and even stranger that a man who wrote a book regarding Hillary Clinton's true personality that was booked to be interviewed by multiple news stations and mysteriously got cancelled for all but one.

There's a reason so many people are backing Trump. The media wants you to believe that they're all kids who didn't get a formal education or graduate college, however, I know many professional lawyers and other significant business figures who are voting for him. People who have gotten formal educations, and people who are intelligent enough to discern the right from the wrong.

Again, do your research of them, both of them, and look thoroughly. You may still hate Trump after seeing the truth, but you can't rule him out without at least giving him a chance, and I'd much rather have him than Lyin' Ted or Crooked Hillary.

I agree about always doing your own research before believing things. After all, that's what I do most of the time before entering an argument (and even sometimes in the middle of one).

But I really shouldn't even bother. First off, I'm not American, so I'm not interested in the American elections, and second off, I'm not interested in politics in general. However, I do agree with your advice and I believe more people should respect it.

 

I agree about always doing your own research before believing things. After all, that's what I do most of the time before entering an argument (and even sometimes in the middle of one).

But I really shouldn't even bother. First off, I'm not American, so I'm not interested in the American elections, and second off, I'm not interested in politics in general. However, I do agree with your advice and I believe more people should respect it.

Well, if you're not American, that's understandable. Where are you from then (if you're okay with those questions)? I only ask this because, admittedly, there are a lot of countries that are better than we are over here.

 

Don't make fun of Donald Trump. People have deceived you into thinking he is a bad man, but don't listen to the news, they are filled with a bunch of satanic and immoral liars. Do the research on Donald Trump yourself, and also research Hillary Clinton. You'll be surprised. Donald Trump is the best thing america has going for it right now. Trust me.

It's a joke grow a pair lol also, the idea that all the media and political journalists in the U.S have a liberal bias is absurd. The media isn't a hive mind where every station or newspaper function the exact same way. Yes some journalists may be biased against Trump but they aren't everyone involved in reporting on the election, and they certainly aren't the reason Trump is loosing in the polls. That would be because he is a worse liar than Hillary could possibly imagine and that he has zero experience in running the government, which is far different from running a business.

 

Well, if you're not American, that's understandable. Where are you from then (if you're okay with those questions)? I only ask this because, admittedly, there are a lot of countries that are better than we are over here.

I'm from France. I stated it multiple times... although I don't believe France is doing any better politically speaking...

 

Both U.S. candidates are equally awful in my opinion, and---wait. I thought this was a Smash Bros. website?

 

People talking politics on the internet. Great job.