I'm seriously wondering if there is actually something wrong with me.
I'm not being funny. If you saw me today, you would almost definitely wonder if I should be in what you may call a mental institution... I wouldn't go so far as to say an insane asylum. But there has to be something wrong.
How many people my age do you know of, that get so overly angry over such 'small' things that they can occasionally shout and swear (in real life)?
Yes, sometimes I am in real life, exactly as I sometimes appear on the internet. Except I'm much much worse on the internet, because I don't shout things like "you can all burn in ****ing hell" or something. It's usually just "**** off" or something.
I don't know if I just overreact, or if there is actually something wrong (mentally). I was asked if I had some kind of mental illness, I think as a semi-joke, but I actually wondered, if they were half right.
I've seen a few times where people in BCM's chat have said "are you crazy?" either to, or about me, and they're probably sort of joking, but they also may be right. I'm sure it is NOTHING to do with my already diagnosed Aspergers (as I have a relatively mild form of it -- and there are people with more severe cases, that don't react like me).
I've been wondering why I somehow got so angry enough to actually cry (I'm not joking), which is probably the worst outburst I've ever had for quite a while (years maybe?).
There are many things that I can think of which have been a nuisance, but none of them would be worth my reaction. The only things that I've had that would be considered at least a nuisance, is an idiot constantly harassing me on YouTube and impersonating me, trying to get me suspended, meaning my (although very few and not interesting) 6-7 years worth of videos would be deleted. As well as that, I 'suffer' from aphthous stomatitis, and currently at this moment, what is basically a mouth ulcer, or a canker sore, or whatever. It's not (currently) painful. Just irritating. Apart from those 2 things, I got a DVD boxset today, which I had been waiting for for over a year (as I pre-ordered it in June last year), and one of the discs wouldn't work (on a specific device, it turns out, yet works on other DVD players).
But even if you had a DVD which you'd been waiting for for a year, a mouth ulcer, a somewhat slightly irritated noise, and a scumbag on YouTube constantly trying to "ruin" your "life", how would you react?
I'll tell you how. Much much better than me.
If I was soneek, I wouldn't "not know when I'm going to let me back", I would blatantly never let me back on the site ever.
Having said that. It doesn't help, if people deliberately try to provoke me. Like soneek's message for my Z:Line says. "Be a cry baby somewhere else!"
I seriously wonder if a mental institution would be a good 'somewhere else'.
I expect everyone here, will completely ignore this post, or if they do respond, will just make fun of me, because that's what you do. When you try and "get a reaction" you think "OMG TUK's funny when he's angry", but I don't actually find it funny at all.
I got so angry earlier, that I VERY NEARLY got a hard slap on the face. I'm not joking. I'm being literal and serious. And if I actually got one, I would very very much have deserved every bit of it.
Now I want to ask you (everyone) a serious question... and I want a serious answer.
Of those who know me online, i.e. most of the people who go on brawlcustommusic's chat, or who know me quite a bit online (not in real life), based on how I react, and what I react to... do you actually think there's something mentally wrong? Do you think I might actually have some kind of mental problem? In short? I haven't gone so insane that I've stabbed myself with a knife and threatened to kill my family or something. But still, crying and getting angry over stupid things (relatively)? I've actually cried over video games... and that wasn't that many years ago. When I was at school, I frequently shouted and swore. I occasionally threw chairs, or other things.
So again.
Do I have a mental illness?
I want a serious answer, please.