![Эикельманн [РУС]](/data/avatars/l/153/153661.jpg?1415225120){kind=avatar}
Эикельманн [РУС]
Banned via Administration
Link to original post: [drupal=3467]0342 AM[/drupal]
I often have trouble going to sleep. Some nights, though, I have a delusion that the perfect girl is behind me with her arms around me and body pressed up against me. It feels so real that I actually feel the warmth of her body, and I'm able to go to sleep rather easily.
But not once has that delusion every become a reality.
I sit on my front porch, watching the street light across the street. It flickers once. It’s 3:42 am; I can't sleep, and I just realized that even though my family loves me, the only thing I want is someone to care for me, someone to love.
So I sit on my front porch, watching the light. I might smoke a cigarette or two, but I don’t really need them. I watch the tree near the street light sway in the wind, scared of life.
I might have had a girl in my life once, but it soured and went wrong. It might have been my fault, but odds are that it wasn’t. Odds are is that she dumped me, because being with me made her depressed. Then I realized that I just lost a great chance to change my life around.
So I sit outside on my front porch.
I watch the street light across the street.
I might shed a tear or two, but this isn’t a physical sadness that can be purged.
This is a soul-crushing, black abyss kind of sadness. And I'm scared and alone, and all I want is someone to look at me and say:
“Everything will be okay. Come with me.”
Instead, I sit on my front porch. I watch the street light. And I die inside.
And that's when you realize, she's the heroine of my story, but I'm not even a side character in her's.
I often have trouble going to sleep. Some nights, though, I have a delusion that the perfect girl is behind me with her arms around me and body pressed up against me. It feels so real that I actually feel the warmth of her body, and I'm able to go to sleep rather easily.
But not once has that delusion every become a reality.
I sit on my front porch, watching the street light across the street. It flickers once. It’s 3:42 am; I can't sleep, and I just realized that even though my family loves me, the only thing I want is someone to care for me, someone to love.
So I sit on my front porch, watching the light. I might smoke a cigarette or two, but I don’t really need them. I watch the tree near the street light sway in the wind, scared of life.
I might have had a girl in my life once, but it soured and went wrong. It might have been my fault, but odds are that it wasn’t. Odds are is that she dumped me, because being with me made her depressed. Then I realized that I just lost a great chance to change my life around.
So I sit outside on my front porch.
I watch the street light across the street.
I might shed a tear or two, but this isn’t a physical sadness that can be purged.
This is a soul-crushing, black abyss kind of sadness. And I'm scared and alone, and all I want is someone to look at me and say:
“Everything will be okay. Come with me.”
Instead, I sit on my front porch. I watch the street light. And I die inside.
And that's when you realize, she's the heroine of my story, but I'm not even a side character in her's.
im great at makin ppl want to die cuz ive been in that situation so many times
