Self realization huh, 1st off its natural how you felt, all humans are empty and cold. However something always fills it, in your case its love/Kade, it counteracts that emptiness, gives meaning to you, and you being together cancels the negativity your heart is (apparently) used to. I think your Mom means btw, that she wants whats best Emotionally for you, what gives you greatest happiness, so she wants to help you pursue your hearts endeavours. Dont worry to much about S school btw, if you work/study hard, maybe you can avoid it, if not it only lasts a month, youll still have a month to see him =D.
Fyi, shrinks are useless, you can talk about your problems with no useful response for free XD