It was for the music recommendation thread, I care way to much about music sometime, and all the time spent typing, browsing my music library, making decisions, trying to balance my important albums with one he might actually like, looking for samples of the albums that he could appreciate, I just got carried away again. I'm offily silly when it comes to music and me.
http://www.smashboards.com/showpost.php?p=8477256&postcount=8
I'm doing better. Its hard to be so invested and passionate about something, and see it slip underneath your feet, and I'm trying to chase after my game design thing now, but it doesn't have the immediate gratification that music use to. Making a design document is a lot of fun, but I can't see the finish result, and won't for years, that causes a lot of stress. Then programming intimidates me, and I have no ability to draw, so I can't create visual designs for anything, or any designs at all. It drives me crazy, the feeling that I'm not accomplishing anything, because I just love making ****. I live for it. That's where most of my stress is coming from, and it leaks from there into other parts of my life. If I can just force myself to learning how to draw sprites, then I can start messing around in Game Maker or Mugen (both of which I've learned how to use, but can't make anything since I can't draw anything) to mess around with game design. I guess I just feel useless as of right now, and when I felt useless and powerless over my relationship, that just added to my stress.
EDIT- Sorry for the wall of text and useless sappy rant on your profile page. In summary, I'm doing a little better, though my problems are still here.