What do you think of online dating?

[Aracily]

What are your thoughts and opinion on them? Are they just as real as IRL relationships or not.

 

[radio silent]

Are they just as real as IRL relationships or not.

No.

Everyone knows that long-distance relationships via the Internet are all phishing scams devised by surprisingly cunning cyber goblins who live inside the World Wide Web.

 

[Rawk Hawk]

There's nothing like being physically with someone and I don't think there's anyway you can maintain an internet relationship with solidarity. If the relationship stems from an in person to a long distance relationship where you keep up via internet that's tough but manageable, I think that internet only relationships aren't really relationships they're just ways to make companions tbh

 

[Sucumbio]

I met my wife online. Gamefaqs to be specific. It works sometimes but on average I think meeting someone in person first rather than online tends to get from point A to point faster. Whatever works tho.

 

[EarthCrash]

I prefer not be personal towards people I have never met in real life.

 

[FlusteredBat]

It's a lot easier to hide dysfunction (or most other aspects about yourself) online than it is in person. Pursuing an internet relationship is pretty misguided if you're looking for stability. You might get lucky, but the odds are against you. Go ahead and tie the knot with a borderline If you're looking to destroy your life.

Things are particularly risky for men since our higher faculties shut down upon arousal (it seems natural selection was not particularly flattering toward women's intellectual sufferability). There are no safety nets for us if we make a mistake. Be extremely wary of succubi.

Ladies are also easily manipulated by promises of wealth and status--there is no shortage of sleazebags willing to lie about those things. Even so, those who possess enormous wealth and status are not exactly renowned for maintaining happy relationships or making good fathers.

In short, becoming emotionally attached to an idealized stranger is a bad idea. Online dating is like trying to find a strand of hay in a giant stack of adhesive needles.

 

[Murlough]

I think that they can be "real" if they attempt to meet each other in person eventually. It won't work if they just stick to the internet.

 

[Bluekirby2]

For the longest time, I did not think of it as a good idea, but that changed last year when I met somebody online.

I didn't actually end up dating her although I really would love to, but it has taught me that not every girl on the internet is actually a guy.

Heck, my first relationship was an online one.

But what do you guys think of online dating? Do you think it's a stupid idea, or does it get more skepticism than it deserves?

 

[Siege1]

I've had very sparse results with online dating (although once i took a better pic my results seemed to improve). By improve i mean i talked to more girls but only actually met 1 which turned out to be a dead end for multiple reasons. I'm pretty burnt out on it lol.

 

[#HBC | Acrostic]

It's a band aid on a gaping wound.

For me personally, I needed real people. I need to hug someone and bury my head in their chest and tell them that I'm very miserable and suicide doesn't seem that bad on an every other day basis. I cry myself to sleep at night on most days hugging my pillow because I have debt and I don't have a solid job. When I wake up around six in the morning, I drove around for hours looking for work to pay off my debt but couldn't find anything that would meet my rent and loan requirement.

I used to work two jobs which involved waking up around 7 and working part time 8am to 2pm and then working my full time job around 3pm to 11pm. Then I tried to study for an advancement degree in the off hours. I lived with two college students for a period of time on state university campus as a third roommate, even though it had been awhile since I graduated. I barely had money left over to feed myself, much less purchase any luxury items to take the pain off. Sometimes I'd just stockpile on breakfast three times a day because it was the cheapest meal despite me being fully aware that my fatigue and poor physical condition was completely garbage because of it.

At this point in my life I was disowned by my family. I had an e-companion who would flirt often and we would trade sext messages and encourage each other. The other two roommates were never at home and always had their doors locked so I never interacted with them considering my hours of work. Like most e-companions the relationship did not last after the initial infatuation phase wore off. I had no one to turn to and there was a day where I just walked out in a t-shirt in the middle of the pouring rain hoping to catch hypothermia and to just die as a miserable human being on the side of an abandoned bus stop.

I tried it. However, after wasting about an hour and a half I realized that I had to wake up at 7 again the next day and it was already 3 in the morning and if I was somehow rescued or wasn't guaranteed to die, then I would wake up in a hospital with more bills than I could afford and also probably end up with a life long impairment that I couldn't hope to possibly cope with in anyway possible. As time passed on I actually made with my parents for real. It didn't start off that way. I never truly forgave them for the longest time, until it just came to a point where I realized that as much as I didn't trust these people, these people did stand by me and supported me to the point where I couldn't stop loving them.

I still worked two jobs until recently. A big change in my life happened which involves a risky decision with high payout. I don't have faith in myself, I am nervous, crying, and afraid every single day. I still go to bed crying and nervous to the point where I stare at the ceiling for two hours before I pass out from exhaustion. I am doing the work required, however I feel like I barely manage to meet my deadlines and everyone else competing against me has weeks, months, or years on me.

Perhaps, I am unique in the sense that I have accepted that I have a mild case of depression that won't go away. That I did honestly attempt the most gradual form of suicide that would allow me to pull out at any moment. And that I simply wanted a momentary break from the acute pain I was feeling and not the cessation of life in its entirety.

This post isn't focused about internet girlfriends. Internet girlfriends are a band aid solution and that is why I am attempting to share my story because I think you are an emotional person like me who is burdening a bit too much weight for what you should be handling at the moment. I believe you can keep shouldering that burden, but it will turn you into someone like me. Someone who went through a lot of life taking pride in the fact that his suffering was his own, but he was shouldering all on his own shoulders. I could not do it alone, I broke off the chain of isolation that was dragging me down. I think that you should consider what is really holding you down and try to find a genuine solution for it.

I am not a religious person, but I will pray for you tonight. God bless.

 

[Bluekirby2]

It's a band aid on a gaping wound.

For me personally, I needed real people. I need to hug someone and bury my head in their chest and tell them that I'm very miserable and suicide doesn't seem that bad on an every other day basis. I cry myself to sleep at night on most days hugging my pillow because I have debt and I don't have a solid job. When I wake up around six in the morning, I drove around for hours looking for work to pay off my debt but couldn't find anything that would meet my rent and loan requirement.

I used to work two jobs which involved waking up around 7 and working part time 8am to 2pm and then working my full time job around 3pm to 11pm. Then I tried to study for an advancement degree in the off hours. I lived with two college students for a period of time on state university campus as a third roommate, even though it had been awhile since I graduated. I barely had money left over to feed myself, much less purchase any luxury items to take the pain off. Sometimes I'd just stockpile on breakfast three times a day because it was the cheapest meal despite me being fully aware that my fatigue and poor physical condition was completely garbage because of it.

At this point in my life I was disowned by my family. I had an e-companion who would flirt often and we would trade sext messages and encourage each other. The other two roommates were never at home and always had their doors locked so I never interacted with them considering my hours of work. Like most e-companions the relationship did not last after the initial infatuation phase wore off. I had no one to turn to and there was a day where I just walked out in a t-shirt in the middle of the pouring rain hoping to catch hypothermia and to just die as a miserable human being on the side of an abandoned bus stop.

I tried it. However, after wasting about an hour and a half I realized that I had to wake up at 7 again the next day and it was already 3 in the morning and if I was somehow rescued or wasn't guaranteed to die, then I would wake up in a hospital with more bills than I could afford and also probably end up with a life long impairment that I couldn't hope to possibly cope with in anyway possible. As time passed on I made with my parents for real. I never forgave them for the longest time, until it just came to a point where I realized that as much as I didn't trust these people, these people did stand by me and supported me to the point where I couldn't love them.

I still worked two jobs until recently. A big change in my life happened which involves me making the riskiest decision of my life where failure will lead me into roughly $350,00k+ in debt if I fail at any stage during this process. However, making it through this four year hurdle means I will be roughly making around $150,000 in gross income on a yearly basis. I don't have faith in myself, I am nervous, crying, and afraid every single day. I still go to bed crying and nervous to the point where I stare at the ceiling for two hours before I pass out from exhaustion. I am doing the work required, however I feel like I barely manage to meet my deadlines and everyone else competing against me has weeks, months, or years on me.

Perhaps, I am unique in the sense that I have accepted that I have a mild case of depression that won't go away. That I did honestly attempt the most gradual form of suicide that would allow me to pull out at any moment. And that I simply wanted a momentary break from the acute pain I was feeling and not the cessation of life in its entirety.

This post isn't focused about internet girlfriends. Internet girlfriends are a band aid solution and that is why I am attempting to share my story because I think you are an emotional person like me who is burdening a bit too much weight for what you should be handling at the moment. I believe you can keep shouldering that burden, but it will turn you into someone like me. Someone who went through a lot of life taking pride in the fact that his suffering was his own, but he was shouldering all on his own shoulders. I could not do it alone, I broke off the chain of isolation that was dragging me down. I think that you should consider what is really holding you down and try to find a genuine solution for it.

I am not a religious person, but I will pray for you tonight. God bless.

Apologies in advanced if this seems rude, but I will say, that was quite overwhelming.

I appreciate what you have said, but I feel like I did miss some details.

Not that I will go into detail about it, as this thread will become more of a thread about me whining.

 

[ZXMechonHunter]

They can be real, I feel, as long as you've known them for a good while beforehand, don't have suspicions of them just wanting to "cyber", and have formed a genuine friendship first, as opposed to just going to a dating site for the purpose of getting with someone.
I've known my boyfriend for about two years, got hyped over Smash and Shulk for such a long time, and are in a long distance relationship. It's real. @Solfiner <3

 

[FairyGardens435]

I've never liked the idea of it only because you never know who's on the other end.

For sites like these, you're in a mixture of real genuine friendly people, robots, and perverts who only want to cyber and not have an actual relationship.

If you're thinking of joining a dating site, all I can say is to be careful of who you may come across. Talk to them for a couple of months. If you feel genuinely comfortable with this person, you can ask to talk to each other on the phone. If that goes great as well, then ask to video chat, and so on.

 

[comics]

It's really not a great idea since people can act so different online without even trying or meaning to.
People can be so different and you sadly probably don't fully know them like you would if you knew them irl.

I talk a lot and sometimes have a WWE-like bigger than life persona online, but I show neither of those sides of me IRL.

I wouldn't look for a girlfriend online if I were you. You have to wonder why they have to resort to looking online, it not always is "just because."

 

[SuperCoolSideAccount]

I've spoke to people online in that way and it isn't as good. Although I do think it's nice as I personally feel I can tell them more stuff I wouldn't normally tell people I know IRL out of fear that it would destroy our RL relationship.

I feel that there is less to lose from an online relationship whether it be simply as friends or intimate, that allows me to be more open about my true feelings.

 

[MyNiqqaJosuke]

I dont think their is any real way to maintain it for a long amount of time without complications or just flat out breaking up. Although it can hurt just as bad or even worse (in my case) due to the fact that you can develop a false idea of what kind of a person they are and have that image of them stuck in your mind when they may have never been like that to begin with.

 

[OmegaStriker]

I don't think it's weird when people choose online dating. However, I need a physical person in my life so I can't do it myself. I need someone there with me in person to laugh with, cry with, and be close to when I need emotional support.

 

[Brash Candihoot]

Online dating will only be legitimate when everyone is doing it, when it becomes the "norm". When it actually becomes a mix of the same healthy types of people that you'd meet anywhere in real life or introduced through friends.

It's getting there but currently it's still all the desperate misfits who don't have friends or can't attract or keep anyone IRL.

So if you happen to actually be a great candidate for a relationship (You are attractive/stable/normal) but you just happen to need to resort to online dating you will find a sea of people there currently who are far from what you are looking for. Usually far below your "league"

As for long distance online only relationsships. No, that is the opposite of what life is about. We are humans, that's not normal social behavior and it will become unhealthy over time.

You deserve better, so demand more from yourself. Be the best version of yourself you can be.

 

[LunarWingCloud]

I had a girlfriend over the internet once.

Twice actually.

Most recent one though I met in person just a few weeks ago. We weren't together though because things didn't work out. We became friends again after that encounter. (She lives with her older brother who I've been good friends with for years and regularly do Skype calls with)

Point here is, sometimes, it could be possible. But you need to REALLY work for it, want it, and make it happen. And you need to be 100% sure such a relationship is able to work.

Also if you don't at least do some sort of voice and video chat on occasion it isn't real, sorry. It may as well just be a glorified title.

Still, the lack of physical interaction really ruins the chances of things being good and stable. But that doesn't mean it can't work out.

 

[Scurry059]

Depends on how you really feel for that person. I think meeting up with someone is a lot better than someone on the internet. Today, you have people that can be the world's best boyfriend/girlfriend, but it could be a criminal trying to set you up

 

[Prepare_Yourself]

I'm not currently looking for a relationship (never been in one), but from where things are now I think I'll make online dating a last resort, seeing as to just how much of a bonus actually being able to be with them must be. I would like to think of dating as a sacrificial friendship, where you start to care for someone else in the same way as you care for yourself, with a sense of protection and provision through thick and thin, while also having a best friend. Online, it seems like I could only manage the best friend part. I would feel like I was cheating a girl by not being there for her.

 

[Shiida]

it's cuuute but i don't think it can stay online forever
they'd have to meet irl eventually , so i think it'd be best if the people were 16-17 or older.

 

[Esphas]

i was dating a girl called felia for a while. it didnt end well =)

 

[DraconicPsycho]

seems unsafe if anything. sounds like a stalking ground for rapists and pedophiles IMO

 

[LunarWingCloud]

seems unsafe if anything. sounds like a stalking ground for rapists and pedophiles IMO

That unfortunately does happen, but only to naive, younger, new-to-the-internet types of people. I will elaborate on that more later.

You would be surprised to know how many situations work out from an online original meeting. Hence why I say that video and voice calls are a must if you are serious about going down the path of an online relationship, because without them they just don't work. Then when you have the resources, the desire, the time, a real-life meeting is absolutely required because you just cannot keep a relationship online forever, you have to be realistic and take the next step if it's going to be serious.

Unfortunately, without these key elements in place, yes, those things do happen, it is disgusting and I hope people who exploit such a system are punished as they should be, but in many other cases it is a gateway to meeting someone who might actually be perfect for you. The internet is a new frontier that allows so much more opportunity than we ever dreamed of, and while we need to exercise caution, it is something we should not be afraid to take advantage of.

 

[Poppin]

its a good way to start a relationship because you aren't gonna find your perfect match in your hometown

 

[Corgi]

I've had mixed experiences online dating. On one hand, as a teen, I had a pretty enjoyable experience, and it was a source of happiness for me. If something makes you happy and don't objectively conflict with your ability to be a decent human or success in life, I say everything's A-OK. On the other, you could see it as trivial in a certain light and recognize you're wasting your time (that's subjective though, all based on what you get out of the relationship).

I think using dating sites (like OKCupid) as a form of meeting people is an excellent idea, particularly if you're in a position where meeting new people isn't a common thing. I've even gotten a few friends from it, so if that's you're route, go for it.

[Corgi Approved]

 

[Kritzkrieg]

I'm not in favor of it, but I'm not against it either. Honestly, it seems like a viable option, and would likely be the first option for me (if I ever need to get into a relationship anyways).

 

[DunnoBro]

My only hope.

 

[Tino]

I prefer to look for a girl in real life rather than meeting strangers online.

 

[Deleted member]

maybe when i'm old, but right now, meeting people irl is the best option.

 

[Dutch Kirby]

Deleted xxx

 

[KirbCider]

My opinion on Online Relationships is a bit of a mixed bag honestly. It can work for some, but not everyone.

Online Relationships take a lot of patience, understanding, and trust. A lot of people don't feel like waiting months or years to be together with someone. They want it right at that moment, and sometimes Online Relationships just can't work that way. Even if you manage to find someone who lives moderately close by you have to take into account both parties situations (money, transport, etc).

You got to have money and transportation to even visit them in the first place. Even if you did, depending on how far you actually are from them it can be insanely costly to do so. Some people might find it worth it; however most can't shovel money out like that sadly.

On top of that you have to be extremely trusting and willing to give them pictures, voice chat/webcam chat, and even give them your phone number. A lot of people are uncomfortable with doing that with a random stranger online given the implications and all the stories you hear about doing so. The internet is indeed dangerous after all, so you have to be smart about how you go about these things. Now, you can avoid giving them all of that but you can only get so far through text. Again, it takes a lot of patience and understanding.

Despite it's cons it can actually be good for most people, though.

You can have a much easier time meeting people who share your exact same interests Online than you can in person. It's easy to express your interest in something Online and find tons of communities for said interest. I'm gay, and it is extremely difficult for me to find other gays in my area given how little there is here for us local-wise. I feel like I'd have a much better chance finding someone Online at this point than actively looking in person. It also helps people get out of their shells way easier too, especially if they're shy IRL.

Some find it a lot easier (like me) to actively be myself Online than in person. The nervousness you may feel that exists in person may not exist on the screen. Believe me, I am very anxiety prone in person and have a difficult time getting out of that and be... Ya know, sociable. Online I don't really have that issue at all and can be very sociable and friendly through text. My anxieties just don't exist here.

Either way, it's definitely a mixed bag you have to handle with care. If you feel like you can handle it then go for it; however just remember all the road blocks you may have to face. Patience is a very huge thing that should never be forgotten with Online Relationships.

 

[Deleted member]

KirbCider You stated that all excellently. And I agree.

For most people, you'd be better off finding someone in person. However, for some finding someone online is a better option for certain people.(In this case it's because I have certain preferences that are extremely uncommon, mainly my love of male traps.) And I don't mean via dating sites, I'm just talking about the general internet. I met my boyfriend on a Godzilla forum of all places. We were friends for over a year, until we decided to talk one to one with eachother. We've been boyfriends for eight months now, and I feel like I found my perfect storm~.

But yeah, just be careful and open minded. The internet's not as dangerous as people say as long as you know what you're doing.

 

[[][] Revios]

Well, It obviously isn't the "norm" but i feel it is good for those who struggle in finding someone in there life. It's not a bad thing, it's just people trying to find someone to accompany them a different way.​