Perkilator
Smash Legend
As we all know, all bosses in gaming stem from an idea. It could either be a good idea, a bad idea, or (in this case) a good idea ruined by execution. To your memory, what’s a boss that fits this category?
For me, it would be Petey Piranha in Brawl. He has cages with Peach and Zelda trapped inside them, and it’s up to you to rescue them. However, where this battle has a strong idea, there are two glaring faults to its lazy execution:
1. All Petey does is jump very slowly and swing one cage at a time almost as slowly. No fire breathing, no goop shots, no Nipper plants, jus those two attacks. And they’re so easy to avoid, you could probably do the battle on Intense and not lose a single life if you know what you’re doing.
2. Those two health bars for each princess’s cage? They determine which princess joins you, but that’s really it since the levels after are exactly the same on different playthroughs, but with a different princess.
If it were up to the more creative me, that bottom health bar would’ve been used as sort of a time-based health bar for the caged princesses (a green health bar that goes slowly goes down) and the top just go to Petey. And the princess’s cage that was attacked the most (this wouldn’t deplete the bottom health bar, only throw Petey off like it does in the actual game) would determine which one joins you
Oh, and his rematch is even worse for being exactly the same as before, two health bars for each cage and everything, but now without the princesses. Petey could’ve easily been able to cage the players and slam them down (kinda like how he does in Ultimate as Piranha Plant’s Final Smash), but NOPE. Same slow jumping and cage swinging, and the two health bars mean nothing now.
Off the top of my head, another potentially fun boss ruined by bad execution was Cortex in Crash Bandicoot 2, and this goes for the N. Sane version as well*. In the original game’s case, Naughty Dog could’ve made the jet pack movement automated and the control being changed back to moving eight directions on the D-Pad or analog stick, but NAH. They kept them exactly the same as the preceding jetpack levels players were just getting the hang of. You then have to catch up to Cortex painfully slowly, and spin him when you catch up. I lost to him the first time because I was trying to work around the rocks and mines with the weird jet pack controls, and then I just barely won the first time.
Oh, and he doesn’t even fight back with his laser gun. Yes, I know it was removed in the N. Sane Trilogy*, but he still had it in the original. Cortex Strikes Back? More like Cortex Wimps Out.
Again, from a creativity standpoint; if it were up to me (at least in regards to changing how he was fought in the N. Sane Trilogy*), I’d do this:
-Change the jet pack control scheme specifically for this fight, with players only needing to move how Coco did in Crash 3 against N. Gin.
-Have Cortex bring out his laser gun to shoot mines and blow up meteors.
-Make the fight require that Crash spin the meteors into Cortex to damage him.
-Give Cortex 5 hit points.
*My copy of the N. Sane Trilogy was my first proper taste to classic Crash gameplay, as I’ve never owned the original 3 on PS1.
For me, it would be Petey Piranha in Brawl. He has cages with Peach and Zelda trapped inside them, and it’s up to you to rescue them. However, where this battle has a strong idea, there are two glaring faults to its lazy execution:
1. All Petey does is jump very slowly and swing one cage at a time almost as slowly. No fire breathing, no goop shots, no Nipper plants, jus those two attacks. And they’re so easy to avoid, you could probably do the battle on Intense and not lose a single life if you know what you’re doing.
2. Those two health bars for each princess’s cage? They determine which princess joins you, but that’s really it since the levels after are exactly the same on different playthroughs, but with a different princess.
If it were up to the more creative me, that bottom health bar would’ve been used as sort of a time-based health bar for the caged princesses (a green health bar that goes slowly goes down) and the top just go to Petey. And the princess’s cage that was attacked the most (this wouldn’t deplete the bottom health bar, only throw Petey off like it does in the actual game) would determine which one joins you
Oh, and his rematch is even worse for being exactly the same as before, two health bars for each cage and everything, but now without the princesses. Petey could’ve easily been able to cage the players and slam them down (kinda like how he does in Ultimate as Piranha Plant’s Final Smash), but NOPE. Same slow jumping and cage swinging, and the two health bars mean nothing now.
Off the top of my head, another potentially fun boss ruined by bad execution was Cortex in Crash Bandicoot 2, and this goes for the N. Sane version as well*. In the original game’s case, Naughty Dog could’ve made the jet pack movement automated and the control being changed back to moving eight directions on the D-Pad or analog stick, but NAH. They kept them exactly the same as the preceding jetpack levels players were just getting the hang of. You then have to catch up to Cortex painfully slowly, and spin him when you catch up. I lost to him the first time because I was trying to work around the rocks and mines with the weird jet pack controls, and then I just barely won the first time.
Oh, and he doesn’t even fight back with his laser gun. Yes, I know it was removed in the N. Sane Trilogy*, but he still had it in the original. Cortex Strikes Back? More like Cortex Wimps Out.
Again, from a creativity standpoint; if it were up to me (at least in regards to changing how he was fought in the N. Sane Trilogy*), I’d do this:
-Change the jet pack control scheme specifically for this fight, with players only needing to move how Coco did in Crash 3 against N. Gin.
-Have Cortex bring out his laser gun to shoot mines and blow up meteors.
-Make the fight require that Crash spin the meteors into Cortex to damage him.
-Give Cortex 5 hit points.
*My copy of the N. Sane Trilogy was my first proper taste to classic Crash gameplay, as I’ve never owned the original 3 on PS1.
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