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Werekill's fairy tales: The Daughter in the tower.

Lore

Infinite Gravity
BRoomer
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Mar 5, 2008
Messages
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Formerly 'Werekill' and 'NeoTermina'
There was once a daughter who lived in a faraway land with her rich father. She was of the adventurous sort, and her father was always trying to rein her in and force her to behave.

One day, her father had enough of her antics, and he took her to the kingdom's tallest tower, which was found deep in the heart of a supposedly haunted forest. There was only one safe route through the dark woods, and her father, by over exaggerating how dangerous the area was, was easily able to convince the princess to take the trip as an “adventure.” When they arrived at the tower, the father took her to the top floor, a room with a bed and nearly no other furnishings, he ran out the door, locked it, and posted guards outside of the room.

He delivered her an ultimatum: accept to be married and settle down, or be locked away forever. The daughter, quick to think of an escape route, soon made a rope out of bedsheets and tried to escape. However, she saw slim, terrifying shapes in the woods, and, out of fear of being killed, ran back to the tower and begged the guards to let her back in. They were quite surprised that she had escaped under their noses, and they doubled the guards around the tower in order to keep her safely locked away.

Her father, after hearing of this incident, quickly tried to find an appropriate match for his daughter. He narrowed it down to two knights, and he told them to find a gift for his daughter in order for each of them to prove his worth to her. The two knights quickly set off on a journey for a gift, and after 3 full months, they each came back with the gifts that they believed to be worthy. The father gave them his blessings, and he led them to the tower, warning them all the way that the way that he took to get there was the only safe way to travel within the forest.

The father then walked past the guards, climbed to the top of the tower, knocked on his daughter's door, and said, “Daughter! I have brought two excellent knights for you to choose from. Please pick one of these to be your husband and end this nonsense.” The daughter quietly said to herself, “I suppose that it shouldn't hurt for me to see what these men are like, especially if it gets me out of this tower,” and bid for her father to bring the first knight in.

The first knight walked in with a cold, yet polite expression on his face, and no matter how many ways the daughter tried to strike up a conversation with him, he never showed any interest in the conversation, or her for that matter. Eventually the daughter grew tired of this, and she asked to see his gift. As soon as she saw that his gift was a bar of gold, she knew him to be a man who only cared about the material side of life and only wanted to marry her for wealth. She soon tossed him out with a firm “No” to his proposal, and the second knight walked in.

This knight had a bright, warm smile on his face, and the daughter quickly thought well of him. They spent hours simply chatting the day away and talking about the knight's many grand adventures, and the daughter actually felt the first stirrings of love within her heart. Eventually, however, she knew that she had to see his gift for formality's sake if nothing else, and she was shocked when he brought out a sword with dried blood covering the blade. He explained that this was his most prized possession- the sword that he used on his 3 month quest for a glorious gift, which he used to fight in her name, and she quickly realized that this sort of man took too much pleasure in violence for him to make a good husband, despite his friendly manner and love of adventure, so she sadly showed him the door.

Since she had fleetingly felt love and had it torn swiftly away from her, this last refusal greatly saddened the daughter. No matter what her father said, she did not let any visitors in to see her, and her depression at both the loss of love and being stuck in the tower deeply worsened.

Soon, however, a boy came to the father, saying that he had the perfect gift for his daughter. The father quietly pondered what this gift might be, and despite any feelings that his daughter would reject the boy, the father showed the boy the safe route through the forest to the tower.

The boy politely nodded at the guards as he ascended the tower, and after reaching the door, he pleaded with the daughter to let him in. The daughter, hearing a note of honesty in his voice, decided to let him in, and as soon as the boy came in, he fell to his knees.

He cried out, “Oh, beautiful princess! I have no gift to give you other than my heart, mind, body, and soul. Please accept it as a wedding gift, for now that I have seen your beauty, I cannot go on without you!”

The daughter silently thought over these words, and suddenly, she came to a conclusion. To his proposal, she answered, “Yes, you may marry me, but only if you do exactly as I say this day, as if I truly did own your body and soul.” The boy eagerly agreed, and he scooped her up in his arms and triumphantly walked down the steps of the tower, receiving cheers from all of the guardsmen.

At the bottom, the father happily blessed the newly-engaged couple, and, knowing that they knew the way out of the forest, left them. After this, the daughter whispered to the boy, “Here is your first test. Find your way out of the forest without using the safe route that my father gave us.” The boy, understandably, objected to this, but the daughter whispered again, “Why object? Didn't you swear your soul to me? Your brave, honest soul is surely enough to make it through this.”

With these words, the boy, still carrying his wife, the daughter, in his arms, quieted his fears and set out to do what his wife wished. After taking a few steps off the well-worn, safe trail, he began to hear a rustling in the trees, but, knowing this to just be the wind, he pressed on. Oddly enough, no wildlife was making any noise, and he saw nary a sign of life within the forest; just trees and silence.

Eventually he came upon a wide, open clearing, and to his surprise, he saw a man on the other side! The man was tall, skinny, and was wearing the finest black clothes that he had ever seen. The man looked rich, and the boy wondered why he was standing here in the middle of the woods. The boy called out to him, saying, “Hello there! What are you doing here on this pleasant day, friend?”, and the man slowly turned towards him. Jerkily, the man moved towards the boy, and as he came closer, he seemed to grow taller, more gaunt, and, above all, his arms seemed loose and flimsy, like two long ropes. His legs seemed to drag slightly across the ground, as if his pants were somehow too long, and as he came closer, the boy noticed that all the light in the clearing seemed to be focused in on the man.

Suddenly, the boy saw the man's face. And what a terrible face it was! It was pure white, with the only features that looked vaguely human being two depressions where eyes would be and a nose with no nostrils! Despite the man's lack of eyes, the boy literally felt his stare pressing into him, and the boy was forced to take a step back from how hard he felt the strange pressure pushing against him.

As the horrible man dragged it's way forward and somehow pulled out more tentacle-like and slithering arms, the boy took one last look at his wife, and the depressed daughter stared back at him and softly said, “Why object? Didn't you swear your body to me? Your well-made, youthful body was more than enough bait to make my heart's desire come true.”

And when the creature finally closed the gap, death swallowed the two up in its warm embrace.
 

OmegaXXII

Fire Emblem Lord/ Trophy Hunter
Joined
Jul 4, 2006
Messages
21,468
Location
Houston, Texas!
Hey nice story, I liked an enjoyed the suspense of the girl waiting for a humble man to show up even though she was not willing to let anyone in, the ending was kinda weird though, I kinda off fell off when the boy was somehow swallowed, I guess I was expecting it to be a little more dramatic, but overall I felt when the princess was feeling sorrow over her lack of being loved, good tale though.

:phone:
 

GoldShadow

Marsilea quadrifolia
BRoomer
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Jun 6, 2003
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Loved the story except for the ending, which did not fit!

It reminds me of the movie Sunshine, if you've ever seen it. Spoilers ahead:
Virtually the entire movie is a very well written, psychological exploration of the characters and their situation, and all around a great film. The last fifteen minutes is essentially an out-of-left-field scene from a cheap slasher flick that was quite out of place.

This story reminded me of that because the story is built up around the daughter and her plight with the marriage and being trapped in the tower, and the end of the story doesn't resolve any of that.
 

Lore

Infinite Gravity
BRoomer
Joined
Mar 5, 2008
Messages
14,135
Location
Formerly 'Werekill' and 'NeoTermina'
Oh, didn't you see my post in the BR? This is one of the slender-related stories that I planned to write.

I thought that I had foreshadowed the fact that the woods were dangerous, but apparently it wasn't enough, haha.

Btw, on strength of writing and such alone, what would you rate it out of ten?
 

GoldShadow

Marsilea quadrifolia
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Oh no, I remember your thread in the BRoom and I recognized this was part of that. I just meant based on the context of the story alone, etc.

And I don't like an out of ten rating system :mad:
However, I definitely liked your writing, and it kept me reading till the end. Perhaps due to my own biases I wanted the new couple to end up happy and ever after :(
 

Lore

Infinite Gravity
BRoomer
Joined
Mar 5, 2008
Messages
14,135
Location
Formerly 'Werekill' and 'NeoTermina'
Haha, I understand what you meant.

I think that you just wanted a happy ending, GS. :p

And thanks! I was really scared that the strength of the writing was gonna be subpar, as I usually consider my stuff to be.

Did the imagery come across as crystal clear?
 

GoldShadow

Marsilea quadrifolia
BRoomer
Joined
Jun 6, 2003
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Yes, the imagery was clear. Although a simple setting, I had a good idea of it in my head, this tower merely several dozen yards away from an ominous forest.
 

neous

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Mar 10, 2009
Messages
374
Location
Rutgers / Apex area
The ending made me laugh, but then feel bad for the boy. the whole time i read, it was very easy to imagine a visual component like a [cartoon in my head]. Pretty enjoyable.
 
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