Well s***

[zifn15]

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I'm not expecting any replies but I don't think that maters at this point so here it goes.

So yesterday, I was flat out told by my parents that they don't think that I can handle being on my own and that if they don't see improvement in my social interactions with peers and stuff in the next month that I'm going to go to a local college for the next 2 years at home and that's that.

Needless to say I was really bummed out (understatement FTW). Just so people reading this can understand I'm one of those people that sits at home doing what ever and has no life.

So s*** I was really looking forward to going away to college but now...

 

[SuperBowser]

Well now's the time to put yourself out there.

 

[Jam Stunna]

College can be rough either way.

My parents actually did the opposite, they let me go wherever I wanted. I appreciated that, but it turned out to be a disaster. Not to say it's their fault I messed up, but I thought I was getting what I wanted, and I really wasn't ready for it. Two-year school can be alot of fun. That's where I went after I came home from my four year school.

Just keep in mind that this may not be what you want, but it might work out better for you.

 

[Apollo$]

It's best that you go out and try new things and even prove your parents wrong, go to college and make something out of yourself.

Do your best

 

[Sucumbio]

I was flat out told by my parents that they don't think that I can handle being on my own and that if they don't see improvement in my social interactions with peers and stuff in the next month that I'm going to go to a local college for the next 2 years at home and that's that.

REALLY?? Sounds to me like a lie. As in, they're just trying to come up with a seemingly convincing reason to not let you go away to school.

Conversation goes something like this:

"Honey, I really don't want him going away to college, but he gets good grades, he doesn't get into trouble, he really just stays at home and minds his business, what possible reason can we come up with to demand he stay at home for 2 more years, and go to a crappy 2-year community collage instead of a real college?"

"Phew, that's a tough one, you're right, of course. He really doesn't do anything that warrants this stipulation... unless... we say it's BECAUSE he's a responsible home-body that we don't 'trust' *makes air-quotes* him to be on his own, due to his always staying out of trouble by being at home all the time."

"Yeah! Gosh you're so smart... that's why I married you, though."

"Hey, son? Come here a second he have to tell you something."

Yeah? LOL I mean ok that may seem absurd and I mean no offense, I'm sure you love your folks and they really are just trying to do what's best for you, but.... your scenario makes literally no sense. Parents would kill for a kid who stays at home and out of trouble instead of wandering the streets doing god knows what. Right?? Or am I so old now that parenting has changed drastically and kids are now encouraged to become hooligans.

Besides you're going to school to LEARN, not socialize. You're a gem. A student who actually wants to stay in and study? C'mon, that's what most parents fear WON'T happen, that their child will go and socialize like crazy.

The only other possibility I can think of is that they believe your anti-social behavior is a precursor to "going wild" when you finally have some freedom away from home, which -could- be a legitimate argument, but I don't have all the details.

So yeah, can you perhaps clarify their position for us? Cause as it sits it makes little sense at all. If there is no clarifying, if I'm right, well then you should go address this with them, point out the fact that they're just using this as an excuse to keep you home. And it's a really poor excuse too, lol.

 

[zifn15]

Okay so I've gone to some bad places in my head. thought seriously about suicide way back when (middle school was hard on me). They are afraid that I don't have to social skills to handle the stress of living on my own. That's their position as I see it.

Oh I also made a mistake in the first post. I'd will be going to a 4 year university (that happens to be very close by) but I will have to stay at home for a min of 2 year unless they see drastic improvement in social skills and stuff.

 

[Jam Stunna]

I actually think that's a fair position for them to hold, given your difficulties in the past. College can be very difficult socially if you're not ready for it.

But I'm a parent, so I'm automatically biased against you

 

[zifn15]

I actually think that's a fair position for them to hold, given your difficulties in the past. College can be very difficult socially if you're not ready for it.

But I'm a parent, so I'm automatically biased against you

The issue I have with their position is that I am not the same person I was in middle school. I have made a lot of growth as a person in all areas of my life. But then you have the argument "has it been enough growth?" "Has he made enough progress to handle himself in a mature fashion out on his lonesome?" And to that I respond well there is a risk but in life their exists risk at everywhere and if we wait to send me off until the right time, how can we tell when the right time is?

Personally, I feel that the challenge of College is something I need in order to further my growth and development.

At this moment however I don't know what to think .

 

[SuperBowser]

Well your parents are the ones who'll be funding you, so you're just going to have to by their rules.

If you really feel you can handle living out on your own, just try and do something to prove this to them over the next 4 weeks. Make some friends, get a job, do some charitable work or just do something new that shows you can handle yourself outside the house.

Otherwise they might be right. I think social skills are pretty essential for university and in general life. It's healthy to have friends and go out and do things every now and then instead of just sitting at home. You may not agree with their decision, but they just want to do what's best for you and maybe in 2 years time things will be different.

But I also agree that sometimes you can only grow if you're given the opportunity. You just need to prove to your parents that when you get that opportunity, you aren't going to crash and burn because it sounds like that's what they are worried of.