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Virginity in the New Millennium

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Sandy

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Essentially, we shall discuss the value, purpose, necessity, rationality, or wastefulness of virginity. It is not meant to degrade people for their reasons for their choices. It is meant to express our stances and discuss them in an orderly fashion.

To get the ball rolling, I shall explain some of my recent thoughts on the matter.

When I think about what all living things need in order to survive, I see that it is an intake of nutrients and a functioning reproductive system. For human beings such as ourselves, that means food & water and sex. Food and sex, while technically different, can follow basic patterns, as I shall go on to explain later. It is important to analyze our needs from the perspectives of an individual and from a community in order to see their lasting effects and purposes. Most importantly, we need to see the relative trend that occurs with all of them.

Food is essential in the growth and strength of a person. In order to function healthily, we need a daily intake of the proper foods. Food should be considered more of an individual need than community one. For example, if you take 90% of the food from a person, then you will probably have a dead person soon. If you take 90% of the food from a population, then ten percent can still survive well enough you restart the community. Nonetheless, food is a necessity on both sides of the spectrum. Given that food is more of an individual need, I shall explain its effects on the individual. It is important that the individual receive the proper amount of food, but all know there must be a maximum limit on it, not just on how much we eat, but how much of certain kinds we eat. There needs to be moderation present. When a person eats unhealthily, the individual suffers. Now giving more food to the community will not necessarily cause this, because the way people consume food can vary.

Sex is like food in being a need, but it should be regarded as a community need. An individual that goes without much or any sex is not likely to suffer so consequently, although, sex does make one healthier. If a community goes without much or any sex, it suffers greatly. Because the consequences are also more prominent for the community, sex should be weighted as more of a community need. Like an individual with food, a necessary amount of sex and reproduction is needed within a community to sustain it. The rule for a maximum limit should also apply. If one eats recklessly, the persons suffers. If the community engages in sexual behavior in a reckless fashion, it will suffer too. If one is not careful about sex, that person could contract a Sexually Transmitted Disease. STD's are the equivalent to things like greasy, sugary, or generally unhealthy foods.

My point is, that while it is wise to eat in moderation, it is also wise to have sex in moderation. How does this apply to virginity? Quite simply, when you decide to lose your virginity and enter the sexual realm, do so in a precarious manner.
 

Crimson King

I am become death
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Most debates usually end with a question. This comes off as more of a preaching session, which I am not opposed to allowing, but I see nothing coming from this really.
 

Caturdayz

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I do not see room for debate, this has no true question to be addressed. I have no problems listening to you preach but, what was the point of this thread?
 

JesiahTEG

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I agree, I'm not sure exactly what question you were trying to ask, but this is a topic I feel strongly about in many different ways, and I also deal with this a lot due to a situation I've been involved in as of late.

Virginity. By many, many people, this is held on a high pedestal. Once you lose your virginity, you can't get it back. That's the way many people think about it. It's very precious, sacred even. Allow me to tell a story.

I have a friend who is three years younger than me. She's 15, and I'm 18. I would never date her, but at the same time we're more than friends. We have a deep relationship, and I care about her a lot. When we talk, the topic of virginity comes up. When I talk about it with her, I think of it how I explained it before: Very precious and sacred. I urge her to wait until she is very sure that she's ready. I don't want to see her upset that she lost her virginity to someone she has no feelings for. She's special to me, and I care about her a lot. It would break my heart to hear about her body being "used" if you will. I respect her emotionally, mentally and physically. Her body is more than just something to be abused/used by random people.

When dealing with my friend, I think of virginity as quite possibly the most sacred thing an individual will ever "own."

I also have another friend who is 18, like me. I love talking to her, because her views on life are so unique and interesting. She views sex as a much more spiritual activity than anything else. I never understood what people meant when they said "Express yourself sexually." I thought it was an excuse to be promiscuous. However, when this particular friend explained her thoughts to me, it really began to make sense. She respects her body more than anyone else I know, but at the same time has had sex with more individuals than any of my other female friends. To her, losing her virginity to someone she may not talk to ever again is not something she regrets. It was just the beginning of her journey spiritually. She's not what you'd consider a "skank," or a "****" though. She's also not crazy, if that's what some of you may be thinking. Far from it. She's headed to Yale next year for college, and is what most people would consider a "successful person." I'd go as far as to say I respect her more than I respect any of my other friends. So when I talk to her about sex, I don't hold it on such a high pedestal. I think of it as more of a spiritual way to express yourself.

A lot of personal information was used, I understand, but don't get me wrong. My personal opinions about virginity are not directly founded by my feelings for my friends, rather influenced by my experiences in talking to them. I can see this situation through many different perspectives. My personal opinion on virginity: It depends on who you are. Find yourself first. Understand who you are, and the way you think about things. Don't "think" about the decision to lose your virginity or not. Instead, realize your mindset, and make your choice based off of your understanding of the situation and yourself.
 

IWontGetOverTheDam

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When it comes down to it, virginity is a very personal choice. You lose it when you're ready, and when you feel the time is right. It's not a choice to be made lightly.
 

JesiahTEG

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But that's the thing...For some people, it is a choice to be made lightly. Some people don't feel it's a very heavy decision to be made, and furthermore they don't regret their decision to lose it to someone who they won't ever talk to again. I agree with your first part, it's a very personal choice. It ends there.
 

Zero Beat

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Here's my stance.

It should be a matter of personal choice, in terms of when, that is. Religion has partially converted keeping your virginity til' marriage as a societal norm, which is why some people to this day hold 'having sex before marriage as a negative and defiant practice. However, there are certain implications..

Finding the person you want to do it with is generally dying out in today's world, or in other words; 'The one I love and trust.'

I happened to lose mine to the person I'm still with, it will be 5 years in May 16th. So there's where I stand. Remember that when love, responsibility, and maturity are present, marriage is nothing but a title. You don't need to get married to 'love someone more.'
 

JesiahTEG

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I agree with your point on "finding the person you want to do it with is generally dying out in today's world."

And also, how you said "You don't need to get married to love someone more."

I read books authored by Sylvia Browne. She's a psychic, she's pretty famous. Anyhow, she believes that in the 2020's, there won't even be marriage. Just kind of interesting, thought I'd point that out.
 

Caturdayz

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Sex, and this is my opinion, isn't that much of a "big deal". I am not condoning sluttiness of course but I don't really think that premarital sex is a sin. Almost everyone will eventually lose their virginity, and even if that person is your spouse there is no guarantee THAT person will be your "true love".
 

JesiahTEG

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I completely agree. I also think that throughout your lifetime, on average, you'll meet around 6 to 7 people that you'll want to marry, and that you'd be happy with throughout the rest of your life. There is not just 1 "true love" but rather many, many possibilities. I'm not saying you can fall in love with anybody, rather a few more than just 1 person.
 

Zero Beat

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Hmm, that's true. The way I see true love, it's something that develops throughout the years. There's no such thing as a soulmate within the first few weeks of dating, or even months. It truly takes 3 years to really "get to know someone."
 

6footninja

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But that's the thing...For some people, it is a choice to be made lightly. Some people don't feel it's a very heavy decision to be made, and furthermore they don't regret their decision to lose it to someone who they won't ever talk to again. I agree with your first part, it's a very personal choice. It ends there.
Exactly. Taking in the variable of Religion is necessary. For the people disregarding religion as something to consider, its completely personal choice. If we look at different cases of losing virginity at an early age, essentially its all the same. A view in which beginning a sexual lifestyle is not seen as an ample decision to be made.
 

Caturdayz

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I don't beleive that it is a coincidence that while we are seeing a decline in religion, we also see an incline in sexual promiscuity. Sex is a natural thing, it is not something that your father was supposed to give away (as in the times of old), and it shouldn't be a way for you to make money (home wrecking prostitute, sorry Elliot). And I highly don't your god, if he does exist, would smite you for having sex without a little paper certificate. Which brings me to my final point, God wasn't married to Mary.
 

Nick Nasty

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I strongly feel as though that sex is more than just a physical activity when it comes to the one you love. It's an act of mentally, spiritually as well as physically, showing that you care for the one that you've decided to spend the rest of your life with. I also feels as though that the decision to lose your virginity is a significant one that should be made without giving it a second thought. I believe that when you care about someone enough, sex shouldn't matter as much as you just being there for the one that you love. Don't get me wrong, I think that people who are in love should have sex from time to time, but when it comes to the one you love, sex shouldn't be an issue at all depending on how you view it.
 

Caturdayz

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Meh. I do beleive in love and finding that person that will make you happy for the rest of your life. However, to me sex is just physical...
 

Teebs

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Well, maybe not for the rest of your life. There are so many ways that a love life can go wrong nowadays. Divorces, affairs, etc. I believe there is nothing that can keep you happy for the rest of your life, but maybe most of your life. Everything runs dim after awhile.
 

Lant

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STD's are the equivalent to things like greasy, sugary, or generally unhealthy foods.

That made me smile.

Hey, it also acts as a kind of natural anti-depressant of sorts. Again I don't really see what points there are to argue with, so I'll more or less agree with you.
 
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