Ugh Dropping Out -_-

[Pr0phetic]

Sadly I have to drop out, I figured I was a bad time to join WWYP. I crave that orange name, but life calls, a little too much as to so I have no free time to write this.

Don't be disappointed please Virg!!! Definitely we in this, WWYP XI!!!

~ Good luck to everyone! Laters...~

 

[El Nino]

I'm intrigued by the scenario. It's very interesting. But it's also very confusing. Try slowing down, adding in some details, and if the viewpoint character is confused, that's fine, but give the reader some type of ground to stand on, at least. Keep in mind we have no clue where you, as the writer, plan on taking this.

"Josh, speak your case." demanded Carle." - This is not the right way to punctuate dialgoue. Should be a comma after "case".

"I have nothing to live for. I should be the first to die. No longer do I wish for earthly pleasures and a distant dream. They have surely faded from my cold, remorseful heart." - Who is saying this? Josh? Just a couple lines above he was saying that he has a family. Or did you mean Gary is the one with the family, in place of Josh?

 

[Pr0phetic]

Ah I see, thanks. Oh with this Gary-Josh confusion, it's a typo lol This'll be finished tomorrow, I don't have the time today.

And I borrowed the idea from Charles Dickens mixed with a little from my friends culture.


[Edit]AHHH I HAVE TO FINISH THIS!!! -_-

 

[Oracle]

I am confused. Also the adherence to plot is extremely loose