Thinking of Quitting.

[Proverbs]

Link to original post: [drupal=1675]Thinking of Quitting.[/drupal]



All right, so I wanted to write a short blog here and get everyone's opinion.

I'm thinking of quitting Smash entirely and hardly or never playing it again, and if I do play again, with no intention of getting better. See, the thing is, I feel like it's really shallowing out my friendships. Because what happens when I play Smash with people? We talk about Smash, we play it, I help people get better and vice versa--but I never really get closer to them as friends. And, knowing Smash, people just play for extended periods of time. I feel like it's gotten to the point where if I have friends over, we play Melee and that's the activity of the night for the most part.

For a long time I haven't liked that dynamic, but never really bothered to change it since the other person liked it. I had a close friendship with my friend Ron, and now I feel like we just play Smash together and stuff. Likewise with my friend Francis I don't think we ever really talk to one another about real issues. It's always really bothered me, but I just never knew what to do about it. Likewise, when I'm in Boston I head over to ArcNatural's house almost every Tuesday, but I don't think we really know each other. We just play Smash. We've had some great times, but I feel like it creates a shallow friendship which really bugs me.

I just feel that's how it is with video games. I love them because they keep my mind moving at a very fast pace and I have the need to think constantly and put my mind to something. It gives that an outlet. But sometimes I feel as if it's taking away from my ability to have the outlet be writing or reading or something else. I just feel, as a whole, that it's detracting from what I could be doing.

Then here comes the hard part. I love it. It's a great hobby that I really enjoy and love getting people into. People, specifically my brother today, have mentioned to me how it doesn't seem to do a whole lot for my friendships. And I'm seeing the effects of that. I feel like it could be great for people I'm already good friends with, but it doesn't seem to foster a friendship with people if we're playing it as the activity. And I'm sort of doubtful of my abilities to change that without just quitting.

I guess I could just try to change it by shifting the activities and talking to my friends about it, but I'm just not sure I've got the ability, once again, to really change the dynamic that's already been set in place. See, I have what people call an addictive personality. I'd rather call it fixation. I'm not a person who likes a ton of variation. I've always just wanted one woman as a girlfriend who will eventually become my wife--no need to switch things up there. No need to date 15 girls and THEN find the woman I want to marry. Likewise with food, when I go to restaurants I choose the meal I know I'll like, and tend to go to the same restaurants. I seem to go with things I'm familiar with.

I'm not sure Smash is helping that issue. It's like I know that I can get good intellectual stimulation as well as a decent amount of social interaction by playing Smash. So I do so, why is there a need for a change in activity? But as time wears on I get bored of it or I just feel sucked dry of energy. Not physical or mental (well, sometimes mental) energy, but of emotional or spiritual energy. I feel like I've been stimulated mentally and physically (to an extent) but emotionally and spiritually I've been...dulled.

So I don't know what to do. I don't want to quit because it's a great hobby of mine but I don't want to keep living in this dulled and friendshipless state of my life. I wonder if it's just a coincidence that my closest friends are people I never play Smash with. =/

A lot of things are getting me down these days. I just feel like I've stumbled on a mountain of things I need to change to be acceptable to God and to people. I always have to change things. I'm never good as it is. It really upsets me at times. I feel as if I'm always criticized by everyone and that no one gets the same criticism that I do. Not just by others, but by myself as well. I'm just never good enough. I hate it. But that's a side note, I guess.

 

[Patches]

That's quite the problem you have, and this is what I would do in your situation.

These people you play Smash with, you feel you don't have a strong friendship with, right? Work on that. Try to talk to them more about something OTHER than smash. And who knows, maybe a better friendship is just waiting to happen.

And your good friends that you DONT play smash with, what you could do with them is perhaps get them involved too. It's always fun to have a good friend by your side whenever you have a big tournament match.

If all else fails, take a break. Don't play Smash for a month or so and just work on how things are going in your life regarding this.

 

[DarkLeviathan89]

That's quite the problem you have, and this is what I would do in your situation.

These people you play Smash with, you feel you don't have a strong friendship with, right? Work on that. Try to talk to them more about something OTHER than smash. And who knows, maybe a better friendship is just waiting to happen.

And your good friends that you DONT play smash with, what you could do with them is perhaps get them involved too. It's always fun to have a good friend by your side whenever you have a big tournament match.

If all else fails, take a break. Don't play Smash for a month or so and just work on how things are going in your life regarding this.

This sounds like a good idea. I would hope that getting your already close friends into Smash would be good for both you and them, and talking your other Smash friends about non-Smash topics can't hurt.

I know I've made some friends in the past where we used to just play Smash all the time, but once we started talking about real issues, I was surprised with where the friendships went. It's kinda funny in a sense.

 

[Jam Stunna]

If you feel like it's really taking something away from your life, then it would be best to quit. At the same time though, I really think that sharing gaming experiences is a great thing. I play videogames with my wife all the time. Smash, Street Fighter 4, Mario Kart, Zelda, Bioshock...all games that I play with my wife.

Smash also helped me to make one of the best friends I have now. Our parents worked together, but when we saw each other at a tournament, that's when we discovered that we had common interests, and we've been great friends ever since.

I think you have to be careful how you approach this. If Smash formed the foundation of your relationships with the people you mentioned, then you'd be destroying that by quitting. You can't build on any relationship when the foundation is gone. Instead, keep Smash around, but find ways to transition into other interests. Also, try to determine if there is even the possibility that you have more in common with these people than just Smash. If you don't, that's okay, but you don't want to waste your time forcing some kind of friendship growth that won't happen anyway.

 

[Chaco]

I really wanna reply to this, but I don't know how. I had something wrote up originally about doing other things. But that's pretty much generic advice and I hated going through and reading it. So, here goes nothing.

Don't give up Smash, just because you feel as if your not getting a better friendship through it. It's natural to be honest. It's a fighting game, it's not meant to be buddy buddy. Competetive sides can be shown, So, as Patched said do other things with them.

Proverbs, I've talked to you about more personal things before. I'm sure if I can open up to you on the internet, you can become closer friends with them. I'm a very closed off person most of the time.

 

[JTB]

cool story bro.

 

[INSANE CARZY GUY]

First sorry if this sounds like I am a jerk because sometimes people think I,m a jerk

I think you just need to cut back a little or a lot depending how much you play. and charge your order of things try to talk and junk then smash. just figure out when to smash and when not to and hey I am a melee adict to and I can go hours on just 1player mode(and I have), but just cut back or only play every other day. I can still make time for friends and junk.

hope it helped, but that doesn't help maybe your right or your friends sre super addicted and they are hopelessly lost to melee

 

[uhmuzing]

You can cut down on Smash and find new hobbies and activities. I'm sure you can find something; and if you're feeling down, perhaps you should discuss that with your friends. IDK, you'll find your answer.

 

[KnnySm3]

I only play Smash with my closest friends (which is kind of ironic since we didn't build our bonds through it). For a good while that's all we did together but that's the thing. You can flex your interests and time and do other things. You don't have to take Smash out altogether, just make it an every other day thing and if you can, make it just a single day thing.

You can go for a walk with them, go to parks, go out and eat, go to a mall, go to the movies, take a ride, go to a beach if there is one nearby, sit in a room and just talk or if you need to be playing Smash then talk while playing but don't talk about Smash. If it doesn't go anywhere then just don't sweat it and keep your relationships the way they are. But you definitely need some kind of regulation. Just cut back some or find ways to make it more interesting.

Change can be a good thing. You have to be willing to try out new stuff (as long as it doesn't involve having to change who you are) in order to expand your interests and by extension, options.

Hell, it can be something small like how I tried garlic sauce with pizza and now I can't eat it without garlic sauce. Just give some things a try and if it doesn't work out then go back. It's simple enough.

If you ever need to talk, hit me up. You never respond to me anymore. >=(

 

[Mardyke]

The way I see it, you have three choices:

1. Do different things with them. I recommend walking - find a good walking circuit, one that takes you out to the countryside if possible, and see if you can't get them talking for a moment.

2. Continue as you are, just playing Smash and naught else with them. Yeah...let's not.

3. Leave your friends, in fear that you'll get nowhere with them. I personally disapprove of this - you know they're good friends, you've been close with them, so I'm certain they see more to you than just another Smash player.

4. Continue with Smash, but force every game you play with them to have Items on at Very High. I vouch for this most - sooner or later, they will either want to do other things too, talk to you more during gaming sessions, or snap like a twig.

 

[The Cunning Weasel]

I think about quitting smash too. based on the fact that I feel as if I'm not getting any better. Also, I see that the people I play with improve at a faster rate than me. ._.

 

[solitonmedic]

If thats the way you feel, I think you should follow it, you can always refuses.

 

[cookieM0Nster]

play for fun.