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The Sunlight That Surrounds You

Luigitoilet

shattering perfection
BRoomer
Joined
Jul 30, 2001
Messages
13,719
Location
secret room of wonder and despair
Little Jack found a dead cat in the woods. Buddy was throwing rocks at the fish in the river, and his young brother rushed thru the trees gasping and calling his name. Tugging at his arm, Little Jack pointed, said to look over there. Its eyes were gone.

Whose cat is it? Buddy asked. Little Jack began to poke its ribs and Buddy slapped the back of his head, saying don't be a fool! Easy way to get sick, touching that cat. They didn't recognize it, no collar. But what cat has a collar? None around here, really. Buddy couldn't help but stare at the rotting mass. Its mouth cracked open, stuffed with leaves and sticks. There used to be eyes in that head, Buddy reckoned.

But now they are just holes filled with flies. Little Jack told Buddy how disgusting it was. As if it wasn't clear. He proposed burying it.

No, let's just throw it in the water. Buddy held his breath and looked away as he picked the cat (it's a kitten! said Little Jack, watching it dangle and swing.) up by its tail. Easy way to get sick. Buddy thought to himself. He neared the edge of the river and tossed the stinking cat into the water. It was just like a big stone. This one didn't skip across the surface of the water, and it wouldn't have even if Buddy wanted it to. Instead it splashed and bobbed, and sank beneath before it could be washed down the river. Buddy reckoned it might hit the bottom and get caught in some mud or branches.

Now, the fishes will get revenge! Little Jack commented. Buddy wanted to go home. Let's get out of here. He washed his hands in the very same river. He imagined silver fish running thru his fingers. Or the thin, sticky fur of the cat. Gross.
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oh crap. don't have as much time as i thought! i will finish this later, for i have to go to work. tell me what you think anyways
 

Evil Eye

Selling the Lie
BRoomer
Joined
Jul 21, 2001
Messages
14,439
Location
Madison Avenue
You haven't given us much, but your style seems originally molded to fit the piece, which is always nice, and I love the touch of having your verbs fit the characters, like "reckoned" and such.
 
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