The Lies of the Dojo

[DQP]

Hello avid smashers! Like most of you, I've noticed after playing Brawl for myself that some of the updates on the Dojo are blatant lies. It's time to point those out.
I will be using the exact quotes straight from Sakurai himself. There are spoilers, so watch out.

-Maybe you could add to their woes. Could this be a plan? (Great Aether)
-Unfortunately, screenshots fail to truly capture the way he moves. (Diddy Kong)
-There’s a character named Ness who has appeared in the Smash Bros. series up until now, and Lucas is very similar. (Lucas Special Moves)
-But he doesn’t have much freedom while jumping, and his vulnerability when he lands is pretty significant. (King DeDeDe Special Moves)
-Pikmin don’t have graves, you know. (Olimar Special Moves)
-...it’s just for sending opponents great distances. (FLUDD)
-If Mario launches this at you, you'd better flee! (Mario Finale)
-If you’re lucky enough to strike solid ground, you just might be saved. (Triforce Slash)
-It’s the perfect weapon for stealing KOs. (Fox Special Moves)
-Don’t fire! Do NOT fire that laser! (Zero Laser)
-Among other things, he can now use his up special move, the Egg Toss, to increase the distance of his jump. (Yoshi)
-Yoshi is pretty scary when he uses his tongue attack. (Yoshi Special Moves)
-Calling it Iceberg is a bit problematic. (Iceberg)
-Huh? What the--?! Is that a life gauge I see?!...Must have just been my imagination! (Marth)
-The Super Jump Punch is Luigi’s calling card. (Luigi)
-If your opponent unleashes the Negative Zone, at least try to stay in the air. While aloft you won’t suddenly sleep, slip, or start taunting. (Luigi)
-An item you can charge up and throw? There aren’t too many of those. (R.O.B.)
-Let fortune decide your fate, and go!! (Mr. Game & Watch)
-And did I mention it’s a great recovery move? (Jigglypuff)
-The Star Fox team’s greatest rival is Team Star Wolf. (Wolf)
-They are ruled by their commander, the Ancient Minister. (The Subspace Army)
-And don’t run away! (Enemies of Subspace)
-The enemy of my enemy is my friend. (Enemies and Allies)
-Don't think too hard about things, though. (The Great Maze)
-You can enjoy watching matches between other people! (Spectator)
-Hold on! You can’t tell it’s a CPU! (With Anyone/Basic Brawl)


Those are all the lies I found on the Dojo. Please inform me if there are any more.

 

[KhannKlan]

-Among other things, he can now use his up special move, the Egg Toss, to increase the distance of his jump. (Yoshi)
-Calling it Iceberg is a bit problematic. (Iceberg)
-Huh? What the--?! Is that a life gauge I see?!...Must have just been my imagination! (Marth)
-If your opponent unleashes the Negative Zone, at least try to stay in the air. While aloft you won’t suddenly sleep, slip, or start taunting. (Luigi)
-Let fortune decide your fate, and go!! (Mr. Game & Watch)
-The Star Fox team’s greatest rival is Team Star Wolf. (Wolf)
-They are ruled by their commander, the Ancient Minister. (The Subspace Army)

All of these are actually true.

Yoshi's Egg Toss does keep him in the air a bit longer, even if it is not very helpful most of the time.
It is hard to call a rising mountain of Ice an iceberg since it isn't in the water.
Marth's Final Smash does have a life gauge, although the imagination thing could be considered a lie.
If you are in the air in Luigi's Negative Zone you will only take damage, you won't get stuck/ slip. taunt, or sleep.
The hammer does make a random selection, so fortune has something to do with it.
Is there a bigger rival than Team Star Wolf? Other than Andross that is, he's just cool.
The Ancient Minister does lead the R.O.B colony.

And the one about spectating made me laugh.

 

[Shiny Ivysaur]

Very few of these are actual lies, and many of them are just creative ways of hyping.

-Maybe you could add to their woes. Could this be a plan? (Great Aether)
You CAN. It's POSSIBLE. Not the way shown in a screenshot (Outside of team), but yes. You can hurt them more.
-Unfortunately, screenshots fail to truly capture the way he moves. (Diddy Kong)
Granted.
-There’s a character named Ness who has appeared in the Smash Bros. series up until now, and Lucas is very similar. (Lucas Special Moves)
Oh not this again...
-But he doesn’t have much freedom while jumping, and his vulnerability when he lands is pretty significant. (King DeDeDe Special Moves)
Yeah. Once he gets moving, you can control his as much as you can control a warp star. Effectively once you get the hang of it, but no matter what you can't change his path midway through. Not only that, but if he misses, then yes, it can be a big problem.
-Pikmin don’t have graves, you know. (Olimar Special Moves)
Do you see any pikmin graves littering the field? Because I sure don't.
-...it’s just for sending opponents great distances. (FLUDD)
Granted, great is an exaggeration, but that's really the best way to put it. "It kind of pushes them a bit"?
-If Mario launches this at you, you'd better flee! (Mario Finale)
Well, you're a lot better off fleeing than standing in front of him getting hit by it.
-If you’re lucky enough to strike solid ground, you just might be saved. (Triforce Slash)
Yep. You'll have to be good, and you'll have to tech it right, but the man's not lying.
-It’s the perfect weapon for stealing KOs. (Fox Special Moves)
This I don't know. But if getting hit with it switches the credit to fox, the yes, it's perfect.
-Don’t fire! Do NOT fire that laser! (Zero Laser)
And this is a lie how? He's giving advice. Advice can't be either true or false.
-Among other things, he can now use his up special move, the Egg Toss, to increase the distance of his jump. (Yoshi)
It DOES increase the distance of his jump. Not by much, but it still can mean the difference between living and dying.
-Yoshi is pretty scary when he uses his tongue attack. (Yoshi Special Moves)
Maybe not to the person playing the game, but imagine a green dinosaur grabbing you with its tongue and eating you. That's pretty fcking scary.
-Calling it Iceberg is a bit problematic. (Iceberg)
It IS a bit problematic. A mountain of ice isn't an iceberg. Not only do icebergs have to be in the water (Otherwise it's a glacier), but they also DON'T GROW OUT OF NOWHERE
-Huh? What the--?! Is that a life gauge I see?!...Must have just been my imagination! (Marth)
You're kidding, right? This is SAKURAI. It's much more his style to say that than to say "Oh, look! A life gauge appears too! We really looked back for little touches to add here and there."
-The Super Jump Punch is Luigi’s calling card. (Luigi)
You can't be serious about this one...
-If your opponent unleashes the Negative Zone, at least try to stay in the air. While aloft you won’t suddenly sleep, slip, or start taunting. (Luigi)
Mostly true. You do THAT when you get to the ground.
-An item you can charge up and throw? There aren’t too many of those. (R.O.B.)
You're kidding, right? Off the top of my head, this is the ONLY throwing item you can charge. There are other chargable projectiles, yes, but those AREN'T ITEMS.
-Let fortune decide your fate, and go!! (Mr. Game & Watch)
What's this even MEAN? The thing IS random, so you ARE letting fortune decide your fate.
-And did I mention it’s a great recovery move? (Jigglypuff)
Well, maybe not great, but that depends on your opinion. Opinion's CAN'T be lies. They can be wrong, or dumb, but they can't be lies.
-The Star Fox team’s greatest rival is Team Star Wolf. (Wolf)
How's THAT a lie? Rival, not enemy.
-They are ruled by their commander, the Ancient Minister. (The Subspace Army)
They ARE rules by the Ancient Minister. His name is ROB. Afterwards, Ganondorf takes control.
-And don’t run away! (Enemies of Subspace)
This is advice. Whether or not it's good advice doesn't affect how true it is.
-The enemy of my enemy is my friend. (Enemies and Allies)
The man's quoting a freaking proverb. And in this case, it's true. While it's not always true, it is now. Not a lie.
-Don't think too hard about things, though. (The Great Maze)
Once again, advice can't be called a lie.
-You can enjoy watching matches between other people! (Spectator)
You can. Not many do, but it's possible.
-Hold on! You can’t tell it’s a CPU! (With Anyone/Basic Brawl)
Well, maybe YOU can, but some people can't (For example, the 10 year olds that they made the game for?)


Kthxbye.

 

[Marie_54]

WTF Pikmin don't have graves...



"Calling it Iceberg is a bit problematic" Yes it is Sakurai doesn't believe in global warming!

 

[Jimbo_G]

Yeah, I agree with Shiny, practically all of that is true or is simply Sakurai making an obvious joke or giving some basic advice. I don't see any lies yet.

 

[The Phantom Smasher]

were you being serious when you posted this? cause like everyone else said, almost all of these are true...

 

[DeathNote]

Hello avid smashers! Like most of you, I've noticed after playing Brawl for myself that some of the updates on the Dojo are blatant lies. It's time to point those out.
I will be using the exact quotes straight from Sakurai himself. There are spoilers, so watch out.

-Pikmin don’t have graves, you know. (Olimar Special Moves)
-...it’s just for sending opponents great distances. (FLUDD)

-It’s the perfect weapon for stealing KOs. (Fox Special Moves)
-Among other things, he can now use his up special move, the Egg Toss, to increase the distance of his jump. (Yoshi)
-Huh? What the--?! Is that a life gauge I see?!...Must have just been my imagination! (Marth)
-If your opponent unleashes the Negative Zone, at least try to stay in the air. While aloft you won’t suddenly sleep, slip, or start taunting. (Luigi)
-An item you can charge up and throw? There aren’t too many of those. (R.O.B.)
-Let fortune decide your fate, and go!! (Mr. Game & Watch)

-The Star Fox team’s greatest rival is Team Star Wolf. (Wolf)

-You can enjoy watching matches between other people! (Spectator)

Wow you made a ton of mistakes

Pikmin dont have graves, they turn into ghosts...

Fludd does only send opponents far away, which is how it gimps recoveries.

Sakurai is refering to F4Alls... if you use his lazer on a flying opponent and they die you get the KO despite not putting effort into knocking them off the staage, thus stealing the KO.

His Egg toss does increase distance

Marths Final Smash does show a life gauge

That is true about the negative zone... you dont fall asleep or do anything like that in the air

Umm please, name 3 items you can charge and throw? Rob is the only one that comes to mind. Lucario does not count as his is not an items... Diddy does not charge an item, pit doesnt throw anything... nor does Peach... etc....

He is probably referring to GW side B which if you get a 9 is an auto KO for the opponent... thus you are letting good fortune decide a KO or not.

Wolf is Fox's greatest enemy in the Star Fox series idiot....

Yes, you can enjoy watching intense matches in spectator mode.



You sir are an idiot.

 

[MarthTrinity]

Why did you even bother creating a thread of these so called "lies" from the Dojo when they're not even...I dunno...lies? Lock thread please...

Edit: Shiny Ivysaur, your post was full of large amounts of win by the way.

 

[Kabuto Mushi]

Hello avid smashers! Like most of you, I've noticed after playing Brawl for myself that some of the updates on the Dojo are blatant lies. It's time to point those out.
I will be using the exact quotes straight from Sakurai himself. There are spoilers, so watch out.

-Maybe you could add to their woes. Could this be a plan? (Great Aether)
-Unfortunately, screenshots fail to truly capture the way he moves. (Diddy Kong)
-There’s a character named Ness who has appeared in the Smash Bros. series up until now, and Lucas is very similar. (Lucas Special Moves)
-But he doesn’t have much freedom while jumping, and his vulnerability when he lands is pretty significant. (King DeDeDe Special Moves)
-Pikmin don’t have graves, you know. (Olimar Special Moves)
-...it’s just for sending opponents great distances. (FLUDD)
-If Mario launches this at you, you'd better flee! (Mario Finale)
-If you’re lucky enough to strike solid ground, you just might be saved. (Triforce Slash)
-It’s the perfect weapon for stealing KOs. (Fox Special Moves)
-Don’t fire! Do NOT fire that laser! (Zero Laser)
-Among other things, he can now use his up special move, the Egg Toss, to increase the distance of his jump. (Yoshi)
-Yoshi is pretty scary when he uses his tongue attack. (Yoshi Special Moves)
-Calling it Iceberg is a bit problematic. (Iceberg)
-Huh? What the--?! Is that a life gauge I see?!...Must have just been my imagination! (Marth)
-The Super Jump Punch is Luigi’s calling card. (Luigi)
-If your opponent unleashes the Negative Zone, at least try to stay in the air. While aloft you won’t suddenly sleep, slip, or start taunting. (Luigi)
-An item you can charge up and throw? There aren’t too many of those. (R.O.B.)
-Let fortune decide your fate, and go!! (Mr. Game & Watch)
-And did I mention it’s a great recovery move? (Jigglypuff)
-The Star Fox team’s greatest rival is Team Star Wolf. (Wolf)
-They are ruled by their commander, the Ancient Minister. (The Subspace Army)
-And don’t run away! (Enemies of Subspace)
-The enemy of my enemy is my friend. (Enemies and Allies)
-Don't think too hard about things, though. (The Great Maze)
-You can enjoy watching matches between other people! (Spectator)
-Hold on! You can’t tell it’s a CPU! (With Anyone/Basic Brawl)


Those are all the lies I found on the Dojo. Please inform me if there are any more.

Well, one lie he did make about Pimin was that the color that you pick'd was dependant on the ground around you... no true, lol.

P.S. Original Poster, your sig is missing a
"Show me your moves~!"

 

[Mic_128]

Well, one lie he did make about Pimin was that the color that you pick'd was dependant on the ground around you... no true, lol.

You have more of a chance of pulling certain pikmin from certain ground, but it's not 100% "you will pull red from X"

Here's a lie: The dojo lies.