The Insanctuary

[Alien Vision]

Life is about building yourself up. It's about making your future what you want it to be. It's about staying strong, and staying on top.
What if everything was not what it appeared to be? What if you questioned the very world you were in? What about the things of this world? What if the ground you stood upon was never solid? Only to be confined within your head in a motionless illusion? What if there was never an edge? What if simplicity was our escape-goat? Can you even comprehend the mere thought of such insanity? To think of such a twisted realm of reality that we have fooled ourselves to live in..

When you look at this world as a blueprint, full of intricate patterns.. You will begin to question the tiniest details that rest before our conscious mind. You will seek for a reason not only for life, but for the objects that we perceive everyday. Everything is questioned. Even the very elements that gives us life. How far can curiosity go? How far can we go? Within our minds? The deep perplexing canals our subconscious consists of.. What if man knew everything? What if man knew nothing? They both would have no life. They both would be chained to their darkness. One sleeping in a black hole of ignorance, the other sleeping inside their own mind's black hole. Where is normality? Where is balance? What is balance? What is normality..?

When you look at every human being, animal, even nature itself. You will see that there is a shadow in everything. What is the purpose of this shadow? Does it create balance? Does it serve it's own purpose? What if it's only how we interpret it in the end? I wish to believe that our shadow is a repressed aspect of ourselves that we buried for a purpose during our childhood, for the inner shadow. And the outer shadow that we see everywhere outside, is nothing more but a darker shade of light. Whilst another person may believe that we have no shadow inside us, and that the outside shadows hold evil. Now, the animal's shadow is a very tricky one, that seems to derive from mere instinct. While the nature's shadow creates balance in this world. But, why does my interpretation of our inner shadow cause us to turn into a masked beast without instinct, that has no balance in the end? Why..?

Can you imagine losing your mind..?

Have you ever tried to think like a serial killer..?

What about wanting to dip somebody in acid after they made you angry..?

The force that takes over you when you are upset, and can't think straight..?

Can you feel the impulses of your instincts raising from the dead. . .?

Can you feel the primitive part of you ripping through your humanity. . . ?

What about the skeleton army that is scratching on your closet door. .?

Can you feel it? Inside you?​

''Can you hear me..?'' ''I am you..'' The shadow knows everything that you hide.. The shadow will haunt you in your dreams through your very own subconscious. Why else would you have such terrible nightmares? There is much more than a simple reality that lies infront of us.. We have a whole new world that sleeps within our mind's darkest chambers where we will continue to be the fish in our own barrel, being shot by a disembodied voice.. ''Why won't you leave me alone!'' A man being chased in his nightmare yelled.. ''How can we leave you alone? We are you..'' The shadows laughed.. If you question yourself, you will begin to understand how powerful your shadow has gotten over the years by feeding off your pain, agony, despair. If you don't question yourself, you will never understand why you get angry so easily. Why you feel imbalanced, and can't hold yourself together like you used to. Why anxiety is eating away at you no matter how hard you try to resolve it. Looking at everything around you but yourself isn't going to solve anything.. Hiding weakness will only induce more weakness.. Fear will only multiply, and destroy your defenses with it's pessimistic illusions.. Can you feel it.. ?

Your mind is slipping away..

There is no longer an edge..

You will never succeed..

You are nothing..

You are dead..​

Then again, I am the shadow.. I will always lie to you, like you lie to yourself.. I am you, remember..?​

What happens when you're facing chaos that overwhelms you no matter how much strength you have? How do you defeat chaos when the positive attitude, and your willpower cannot defeat it..?

You become insane..

.

..

...

....

.....

......

.......

........

.........

..........

Insanity is the new sanity! Hahahahaha!!​

YOUR MIND IS SCATTERED IN PIECES​

WHAT IS LIFE?​

''Merry Christmas, Father!''

THE VALLEY IS NOT THAT FAR AHEAD​

TEMPTATION IS WHAT MY HEART SINGS​

''Mommy! Why isn't he moving!?''

''Mommy?''

''Where did you go?''​

THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING​

THIS IS THE END​

YOU ARE NOTHING !

YOU ARE NOTHING ! !

YOU ARE NOTHING ! ! !​

''WHAT?''​

''Dear Shadow, if I am nothing, than you are nothing. If we both are nothing, then where are we..?''​

...

..

.​

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAZJmOgYdpU

Everyone should listen to this song while you read it.

 

[DerpDaBerp]

Even the very elements that gives us life.


I'm trying to imagine the facial expressions that accompany this sentence lol

 

[Luigitoilet]

As always, I'm not exactly sure what the hell you're talking about. It's like somewhere between a philosophical essay and poetry, and has the emotional resonance of neither.

 

[Alien Vision]

@ Super_Sonic8677 - Not quite. Try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Waqn0jBG58

@ DerpDaBerp - How about ''Can you feel it? Inside you?

@ LuigiToilet - Sometimes literature can be like an empty canvas, which our mind uses to paint ideas with..

 

[DerpDaBerp]

Sometimes literature can be like an empty canvas, which our mind uses to paint ideas with..

Why isn't the OP painting the picture

 

[Alien Vision]

Why isn't the OP painting the picture

It seems that everyone on these boards are inclined to find clarity in everything somebody writes, and never do they actually give their interpretation of it with any amount of endeavor. You guys seek explanation, an elaboration from my OP, and what I wish to share with everyone. I wish to create boundless information that can be interpreted in many different forms, in which will never have a solid grasp to it. My writing, and how I exert my passion as for what I say, and do, is merely just the exoskeleton of what really lies within my writing.

There is much more than what meets the eye, even if nothing is there for your naked eye to see..

 

[DerpDaBerp]

I would call that nonsense poetry.



But it's like LT said, it doesn't have the "emotional resonance" and it's not quite... picturesque enough to be called poetry, and yet it's too abstract to be an essay.

Clearly there's a point you're trying to get across when you write something like this. You can't quite use our lack of interpretation to excuse the nonsensical content

 

[#HBC | Dark Horse]

Alien, the more I see you post, the more I think you're trying to spout nonsense in order to look like you have "higher intelligence" thinking.

or this

 

[Alien Vision]

Alien, the more I see you post, the more I think you're trying to spout nonsense in order to look like you have "higher intelligence" thinking.

or this

More misinterpretations.. Thats fine.. Thats fine.. So I am a wannabe Nitchzebooberbabble? How am I a ''wannabe'' if I don't even know this guy? Please, can you make more sense? I think my OP made more sense than you just did. Sending me to a site dedicated to unreasonable proportions that elaborate fallacious ideas presented by someone who is just as ****ed up. I read alot, and this guy stated some things as if they were fact, when they are opinion. Sad world we live in, always attacking the shadows of other people, while we ourselves just sit back and bathe in the fake sun that shines light in our minds, like some perfect being that we are.. I am baffled. Really. Teach me your ways. I must learn how to be a deluded hypocrite who never wants to believe he misinterpreted something because humans must not have errors! It's our own code. Perfection is the epitome of life, why else would there be people ****ing up their lives and still think they are perfect creations.. Yea.. Whatever you say DarkHorse. Your knowledge has been considered, ol' great one who thinks he knows who I am, and the **** I go through to try to get a response that opposes the very one you exerted out of your anal-retentive *******.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDP5aNfX_HA&feature=related

The cries of my pain.. Boo-Hoo-Hoo-Hoo-hoo

Or.. is that laughter? Wah-Ha-Ha-Ha-ha

 

[Luigitoilet]

You should really look into Nietzsche. He went a little off the deep end once he got syphilis or whatever, but he wrote the same style philosophical aphorisms that you attempt to do and due to being quite educated, his works are stimulating and educational and mind-opening. He doesn't present his opinion as fact, as much as acknowledges that opinion and fact are meaningless societal constructions. And furthermore, an addendum of "this is all just my opinion by the way" is pointless and unnecessary. Nietzsche preached his true beliefs about life, just as you are doing. I wouldn't be so averse to reading Nietzsche (or any real, actual philosopher) if I were you, it can be extremely enlightening to indulge in someone else's belief structure for a moment rather than stubbornly and obnoxiously shoving your own down everyone's throat at every opportunity.

 

[Alien Vision]

rather than stubbornly and obnoxiously shoving your own down everyone's throat at every opportunity.

>c I am not being stubborn. I love philosophers, but the main ones I am interested in are Carl Sagan, and Jung. I am not shoving my ideas down everyone's throat. I am trying to connect with people while being frustrated just like everyone else would when somebody sees them as a negative thing when they are positive.

You should really look into Nietzsche. He went a little off the deep end once he got syphilis or whatever, but he wrote the same style philosophical aphorisms that you attempt to do and due to being quite educated, his works are stimulating and educational and mind-opening. He doesn't present his opinion as fact, as much as acknowledges that opinion and fact are meaningless societal constructions. And furthermore, an addendum of "this is all just my opinion by the way" is pointless and unnecessary. Nietzsche preached his true beliefs about life, just as you are doing. I wouldn't be so averse to reading Nietzsche (or any real, actual philosopher) if I were you, it can be extremely enlightening to indulge in someone else's belief structure for a moment

I will look into it.

 

[DerpDaBerp]

I must learn how to be a deluded hypocrite who never wants to believe he misinterpreted something because humans must not have errors!

This.

This is why you'll never get the praise you want.

The fault is not the reader's.

You simply don't convey ideas well.

 

[Alien Vision]

This.

This is why you'll never get the praise you want.

The fault is not the reader's.

You simply don't convey ideas well.

Then why do I have people who can understand me 100% if I wasn't conveying my ideas right?

 

[DerpDaBerp]

I wish to create boundless information that can be interpreted in many different forms, in which will never have a solid grasp to it.

Then why do I have people who can understand me 100% if I wasn't conveying my ideas right?

wait wait wait.

How are people getting things 100% accurate (as if to say there's potential for inaccuracy) if you want an indefinite number of interpretations?

 

[Luigitoilet]

Also, who is it that understands you/your works 100%, if I may ask?

 

[Alien Vision]

Also, who is it that understands you/your works 100%, if I may ask?

A talented musician who speaks Italian, an English. Also, a lost philosopher who is stuck in his circle of ignorance right now, but he has some incredibly deep words to say that surprises me everytime he says them. The point here is, they understand me 100%. They respond according to what I just told them, even the deeper parts of the argument. They understand it JUST FINE. So.. I don't know what everyone else's problem is, but it's starting to piss me off. Like DerpDaBerp acting like I am saying something, and doing the other.. WHEN THOSE ARE TWO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT IDEAS I HAD IN MIND. I talk to people on MSN as for COMMUNICATION. I can talk to them HEAD ON. So there is no need to write something that I believe in a sense, that it can be interpreted in whatever way they please..

What is your point? It doesn't seem like you have a point that is actually trying to udnerstand MY ****ING OP. It seems like ALL of you are under this SICK impression I am trying to be a wannabe of something, or get a riase, ALL KINDS OF BS. When I am trying too get some ideas across, but I can't.. I am starting to lose my patience, with YOU, and your IMPRESSIONS, my ****ING night terrors, and just PEOPLE overall. Seriouslly.. My dad is afraid of crying. My mother ****ing needs sympathy so she called EVERYONE of her friends and said ''My mom died'' ''My mom died'' ''my mom died..'' ''my mom died''. IM SICK OF THIS WORLD, AND YOU HUMANS ACTING LIKE YOU ARE FINE, WHILE EVERYONE ELSE HAS A PROBLEM. WHEN I AM THE ONE WHO IS TRYING TO ****ING GET SOMEWHERE.. I am done. Seriously.. ALL OF YOU ARE JUST BOOK SMART. YOU MADE THAT CLEAR. You can't THINK of anything, nor relate to me, because you just cannot even fathom the message I try to get across, even when I ****ING spoonfeed it to you. No. I am done keeping my cool. I live a ****ING world fool of humans who act perfect, but I am forced to watch them do STUPID **** OVEr, And OVER, And OVER again. It's really starting make me lose my sanity.. It's funny because I am the ONLY one who can see why people murder people . I can see how that woman drowned her 5 kids. I CAN UNDERSTAND and try to REASON with their ''MONSTER''. YOU GUYS JUMP TO BS, and act like THIS IS RATIONAL, BECAUSE ''MY MORALITY SENSES SAID SO''. WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU, AND THIS WORLD. YOU DONT KNOW ****. THE ONLY THING THAT CAN SAVE THE MAJORITY OF THIS WORLD'S CHAOS IS LAUGHED UPON. PSYCHOLOGY IS THERE, I DO NOT CARE WHAT ANYONE OF YOU SAY. MY MESSAGES, AND THE **** I AM TRYING TO GET ACROSS IS PERFECTLY THERE. IF MY DAD CAN UNDERSTAND Me. IF MY FEW FRIENDS CAN UNDERSTAND ME. THEN YOU ARE NOT AS OPEN-MINDED AS YOU THINK. I AM SICK OF YOU POINTING FINGERS AT ME. YOU WONDER WHY I INSULT YOU AND THOSE AROUND ME?> MHMM? BECAUSE YOU GUYS POINT FINGERS AND NEVER ADMIT TO YOUR **** AT THAT SPUR OF THE MOMENT. IT"S ALWAYS AFTERWARDS. EVERYTIME. BECAUSE YOU'RE RATIONAL AFTERWARDS. YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW ****ING ****ED UP YOU WERE BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO ****ING AFRAID TO FACE THE MONSTER INSIDE. **** THIS INDUSTRIAL WORLD. **** YOU ''PERFECT'' HUMANS WHO CAN ONLY MAKE MY LIFE WORSE BECAUSE I TRY TO COOL, BUT YOU INSIST TO IMPLY THAT MY WRITING IS NOTHING THAT I HAVE NOTHING WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE OF YOUR ''RATIONAL'' HINDSIGHT. HOW DOES THIS MAKE ME FEEL? IT MAKES ME FEEL DANDY. YAY FOR EVERYONE FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING ME. I AM ENTITLED TO MY OWN DARKNESS, AND HAVE TO LIVE IN A WORLD FULL OF PORCELAINS. I HAVE TO DARE THROUGH MY HORRENDOUS NIGHT TERRORS THAT ARE NOT NIGHTMARES. BUT OF COURSE HUMANS TODAY ALWAYS THINK THEY KNOW WHAT OUR MIND CAN, AND CAN'T DO, WHEN THEY CAN'T EVEN PULL THEIR ****ING HEADS OUT OF THEIR GOD DAMN *****.

I REALLY HOPE 2012 IS THE END OF THE WORLD.. THIS WORLD IS FULL OF BULL****. I CANNOT TAKE THIS BULL**** ANYMORE. **** IT.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljEu_ehOr-0

1:47 on ? At both the OP and this post directly above mine.

 

[Luigitoilet]

Sheesh....sorry man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljEu_ehOr-0

1:47 on ? At both the OP and this post directly above mine.

don't post this kind of crap in this room please.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

It's a comparison of a fictional severely grieved, near insane person's view of the world and a nonfictional one.

 

[Alien Vision]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljEu_ehOr-0

1:47 on ? At both the OP and this post directly above mine.

You are a creative individual. Do you have common sense though? I mean, these are videogame characters. I am a real life human being.. Who is pissed, so what. I have every right to be pissed. You cannot hold my anger against me. When you are the one who is obsessed with power. I haven't done anything to ''soften'' the blow of my past trauma. I am forced to burden the **** that you won't take serious. So thankyou for making me laugh for all of the wrong reasons and never for the original reason you intended. I can see where you 're getting at, and the people of this world who enduce chaos are not because of my mistakes in my life, it's because it's there.. If you cannot understand me, and ACTUALLY relate to me, talk to me first.. Ok?

LuigiToilet, AND Derp. I'm sorry, but you just have NO IDEA what it's like WHEN YOU ARE CORNERED FOR SOMETHING THAT ISN'T EVEN YOUR FAULT. I find everything you have implied THUS far, INSULTING.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

You are a creative individual. Do you have common sense though? I mean, these are videogame characters. I am a real life human being.. Who is pissed, so what. I have every right to be pissed. You cannot hold my anger against me. When you are the one who is obsessed with power. I haven't done anything to ''soften'' the blow of my past trauma. I am forced to burden the **** that you won't take serious. So thankyou for making me laugh for all of the wrong reasons and never for the original reason you intended. I can see where you 're getting at, and the people of this world who enduce chaos are not because of my mistakes in my life, it's because it's there.. If you cannot understand me, and ACTUALLY relate to me, talk to me first.. Ok?

LuigiToilet, AND Derp. I'm sorry, but you just have NO IDEA what it's like WHEN YOU ARE CORNERED FOR SOMETHING THAT ISN'T EVEN YOUR FAULT. I find everything you have implied THUS far, INSULTING.

It's a comparison of a fictional severely grieved, near insane person's view of the world and a nonfictional one.

Thank you.. I think?

Video game characters at times have depth equal or greater than that of other media.

I don't have any power here, I'm a plain old regular member. ^^: A long forgotten semi obscure one at that. And I'm perfectly fine with that. I'm not angry at all.

What was my original intention out of curiosity? I'd like to know your thoughts on what you think I was thinking when I thought about posting that.

We're just recycling the same things over and over AV.You need to go to the doctors and take things on the web a little less seriously. When you post here, one should expect critisism, both negative and positive. It's what you posted it here for isn't it? =\

 

[Alien Vision]

Thank you.. I think?

Video game characters at times have depth equal or greater than that of other media.

I don't have any power here, I'm a plain old regular member. ^^: A long forgotten semi obscure one at that. And I'm perfectly fine with that. I'm not angry at all.

What was my original intention out of curiosity? I'd like to know your thoughts on what you think I was thinking when I thought about posting that.

We're just recycling the same things over and over AV.You need to go to the doctors and take things on the web a little less seriously. When you post here, one should expect critisism, both negative and positive. It's what you posted it here for isn't it? =\

I believe you were mocking me. Like usual.

I can't go to the doctors til next month..

And.. I am not going to accept any criticism, if people can't even connect nor ''understand'' the viable potential of my writing. Why should I listen to anybody who said my writing is pointless, has no meaning to it, and is just abstract BS I try too hard to make. When I have PEOPLE who understand me fine, so obviously THERE is something wrong with that impression. VERY WRONG. Not just that it INSULTS me. After I TRY so ****ING hard to WRITE. People think I am arrogant.. have a god complex, or I am a ****ING troll. Nobody is tkaing my **** serious. This is just like laughing at a dead guy's funeral. You may not KNOW the dead guy, doesn't mean you should BE laughing at a moment like that I DONT CARE how much ignorance you raised in your life. THAT IS INSULTING!

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

You were raging..like usual too weren't you? It's a cycle that seems to have yet to be broken. Just because someone says you're writing is pointless to them does not mean that it is pointless. Rather than blowing up in their face..explain what the point it is.

 

[Luigitoilet]

Hey, Alien Vision, remember when Crimson King closed your last topic and said "if you post in here and refuse to accept criticism again I will roomban you from the Creative Minds room"?

This isn't a threat, but a warning. and if CK stumbles upon this himself, he will without hesitation follow through on his promise. You might want to get editing on those posts buddy and changing your attitude. Unless you don't want to post in this room anymore.

 

[Alien Vision]

Hey, Alien Vision, remember when Crimson King closed your last topic and said "if you post in here and refuse to accept criticism again I will roomban you from the Creative Minds room"?

This isn't a threat, but a warning. and if CK stumbles upon this himself, he will without hesitation follow through on his promise. You might want to get editing on those posts buddy and changing your attitude. Unless you don't want to post in this room anymore.

What the **** is the point? Really. I stayed cool for a long time, but now I snapped. I tried everything to get my point across, and whats my progress? 0% You guys are on a COMPLETELY different axis FOR ****S SAKE. I just cannot get through to you, even when my stuff MAKES perfect sense, and is in ENGLISH. So I don't know. I don't care. I am done trying. What the **** ever.

 

[tmw_redcell]

The people who understand your writing know you outside your writing. The people who don't understand your writing do not. They can interpret your writing through their previous knowledge of you. No one else can do this. So it just looks like a mess. A piece of writing should be complete unto itself. If it needs to be clarified outside the piece, the piece is not clear.

Also, people who know you are more likely to overrate your writing, whether genuinely liking it more or just being nice to you. I do not say this to be insulting, it is true of every writer. That's one of the good things about forums like this, you can get objective criticism. When there is a gigantic gap between reactions from people who don't know you, and people who do know you, you should consider that their knowing you is a factor in their response.

Nobody is impressed by how musically talented, Italian, or ignorant your friends are. None of those are qualifications for understanding writing. It is not the world's fault no one gets your writing, it is your fault. You should learn to detach yourself from a piece of writing when you post it for criticism. It doesn't matter how hard you worked on it, how true you think what you've said is. You should adopt the mindset that you are not special, your writing is not special, you are not smarter than anyone, and that your writing has tremendous room for improvement. This is something everyone has to do when receiving criticism. And not something you just do for a short while before getting pissed off again. Those who fail to do this will fail to improve, especially when they reject every criticism then act like a child who was just grounded. You should be thankful you can find people who are willing to point out flaws they perceive in your writing, even if you don't agree with them.

 

[Alien Vision]

You should adopt the mindset that you are not special, your writing is not special, you are not smarter than anyone, and that your writing has tremendous room for improvement.

>______________________________________________________> What the **** are you on about? Don't tell me you are under that stupid impression too. That is nothing but BULL****. I do not think of any of that. I know my writing needs work, but not when they say it lacks resonance. Ok? I said this A MILLION times. I took Derp's criticism, and Evil Eye's when it was APPROPIATE. When they TRIED to udnerstand what I wrote, instead of deeming it pointless, and not rewarding. Whichis a load of bullocks. It's not the fact that my friends might ''priase'' me of my writing because they are just my friends. ITS THE FACT THEY CAN UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT I AM GETTING ACROSS, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT EVERYONE ELSE ISN'T DOING. So.. How do you criticise something YOU can't even fathom? Something you CAN'T even understand the message that it conveys. TELL ME THAT. Stop spouting out stuff that isn't true and get down to bone of the problem. I CANNOT connect with people, it's a ****ing fact. I try. I speak English. I use small words. WHAT IS THERE NOT TO ****ING COMPREHEND. >____________________________________________>

 

[tmw_redcell]

I mean that you, like everyone else, should be humble when receiving criticism. Everyone needs to be. You should assume the fault is with your writing when it doesn't have the intended effect, rather than the reader. The reader being at fault is something that occurs rarely, the writer at fault occurs all the time.

 

[Luigitoilet]

I know my writing needs work, but not when they say it lacks resonance. Ok? I said this A MILLION times. I took Derp's criticism, and Evil Eye's when it was APPROPIATE. When they TRIED to udnerstand what I wrote, instead of deeming it pointless, and not rewarding.

"Reward" and even "meaning" is something that is entirely up for the reader to derive from the piece. Once an artist releases his work out into the world, it is no longer his alone. The meaning someone else gets from a piece, especially one as obtuse and abstract as this, could be very different from what you intended. There is nothing wrong with this- this is the beauty of art. You telling us that we don't understand is not going to suddenly make us understand (in the sense that you understand it, at least). You have to do that through the piece. Look at what you wrote and think of a new way to express these ideas. Do that instead of swearing at everyone who doesn't like what you do and you might start to get somewhere.

This piece goes all over the place. You can't honestly read that last section where there appear to be multiple unrelated statements and dialogue quotes thrown together and tell me that that is simple to comprehend. What is this? Where are these quotes coming from? Does this piece have characters all of a sudden? What does this have to do with anything? What does it even have to do with itself?

Your writing comes off as self-absorbed and "pointless" because you throw up these vagaries and expect them to be able to communicate your message on their own. It's clear you know what it all means, but you wrote it. When you continue to go on and just go more and more erratic and abstract, it makes you look like you're so in love with your writing and concepts that it's not worth it to break them down more for your audience. Now I DON'T CARE if this is true or not, that is irrelevant, but it is how your writing comes across.

Abstract isn't inherently bad. There is plenty of odd, abstract literature and poetry like that. The problem is, I think, your aphoristic structure, and your constant bemoaning of humanity makes it seem like you are trying to tell or teach us something or relay some kind of message to humans. As a result, it comes off as self-indulgent and pretentious, instead of enlightening and honest like I imagine you want it to come across as.

Now if you continue flipping out over this, say goodbye to this room. I have given you way more of my time and help than is turning out to be worth it. I'm completely over it. Let's talk about your work, not you. If not, **** off. Thank you.

 

[Alien Vision]

"Reward" and even "meaning" is something that is entirely up for the reader to derive from the piece. Once an artist releases his work out into the world, it is no longer his alone. The meaning someone else gets from a piece, especially one as obtuse and abstract as this, could be very different from what you intended. There is nothing wrong with this- this is the beauty of art. You telling us that we don't understand is not going to suddenly make us understand (in the sense that you understand it, at least). You have to do that through the piece. Look at what you wrote and think of a new way to express these ideas. Do that instead of swearing at everyone who doesn't like what you do and you might start to get somewhere.

This piece goes all over the place. You can't honestly read that last section where there appear to be multiple unrelated statements and dialogue quotes thrown together and tell me that that is simple to comprehend. What is this? Where are these quotes coming from? Does this piece have characters all of a sudden? What does this have to do with anything? What does it even have to do with itself?

Your writing comes off as self-absorbed and "pointless" because you throw up these vagaries and expect them to be able to communicate your message on their own. It's clear you know what it all means, but you wrote it. When you continue to go on and just go more and more erratic and abstract, it makes you look like you're so in love with your writing and concepts that it's not worth it to break them down more for your audience. Now I DON'T CARE if this is true or not, that is irrelevant, but it is how your writing comes across.

Abstract isn't inherently bad. There is plenty of odd, abstract literature and poetry like that. The problem is, I think, your aphoristic structure, and your constant bemoaning of humanity makes it seem like you are trying to tell or teach us something or relay some kind of message to humans. As a result, it comes off as self-indulgent and pretentious, instead of enlightening and honest like I imagine you want it to come across as.

Now if you continue flipping out over this, say goodbye to this room. I have given you way more of my time and help than is turning out to be worth it. I'm completely over it. Let's talk about your work, not you. If not, **** off. Thank you.

I am slowly losing my mind, I cannot help it. I only got ONE single hour of sleep yesterday because these night terrors will not leave me alone. Do some research on them, and behold the truth of my torment. See that out of 7.6 billion people, only 1% experience night terrors at 18+, so it's hard for me to stay calm. Ok? I try really hard, even with my mental problems. I'm just getting tired of being seen as something I am not, because my entire childhood revolved that very idea. I said this a million times Luigi, I respect you, but I have so much anger and frustration that nullifies the respect I have. It's not my fault, it's really hard to stay calm when you are already ****ed up by default. When all you want in life isn't there. The connection, and how much effort I put into establishing a connection is always mute. Then you insult me, saying my work is nothing, and that it holds no elements that signify life, or reason. When we could just form a proper discourse and elaborate on each point. We didn't do that, did we? You just responded and didn't even try to connect with me. You expect me to do all of the work, when clearly I am lacking something that isn't my writing, it's how my mind is inconsistent. I cannot stay on one single idea. It's always jumping all over the place. If we were to discuss the OP, and point out little by little, so I can explain to you what I was going for, THEN you can give me your criticism.. You cannot give me critique, if you don't even understand my OP. EvilEye understood my thread ''Second Layer of Ignorance''. Did you see how much I listened to his critique? I accepted humility in the debate hall proving grounds. Why do you guys have these impressions of me. I am an angry individual who is confused, upset, and helpless because the majority of his life is a faceless answer. I'm sorry, that I cannot fight the only thing that ****s me up, while being able to handle everything else in my life just fine. It's just that ****ing terrible. I don't expect you to understand, I am just going to repeat this over and over until you understand how ****ing serious this is for me. I am not a coward. I am a strong, willful individual. I always taken care of my mother, and was the man of my house when my dad works. I am not lazy. I am not your normal person who can operate things like a normal person. I have an inconsistent mind. This is the only reason why I am like this. I don't have a god-complex, I am not arrogant, pretentious, looking for attention, sympathy, any of that.. I just want to connect. I want to become a writer, it's the only thing I have left. I can't compose music anymore. My pixel art is never going to hit a worthy level. I can't sing. I can't dance. This is the only thing I want to do, and to be shut away from that over misconceptions upsets me. .-. Please, understand that I am far from my edge. I am trying really hard to pull myself together. I mean, I don't even do drugs. I am doing a damn good job, I just have alot more to work with before I can get on with my life.. I do apologize for my tirades, but this is only now. I am probably going to go off again after being tortured by another night terror tonight, or the next night, or the next night. Cannot afford a psychiatrist, or a psychologist. Nobody can help me, but professional help that I cannot get.

:/

 

[Luigitoilet]

Ok, but what does this have to do with your original post? I'm talking about your art here, not your life.

I feel bad for you, and I'm sorry, but this is not the place for that. User Blogs would be a better start. If you speak sincerely and don't troll in defense, you're more likely to find people sympathizing with you.

 

[Alien Vision]

Ok, but what does this have to do with your original post?

It has to do with EVERYTHING I have ever posted actually. You need to go through what I have written, and explain to me what you don't understand, so I can elaborate what I was going for.. Instead of just saying ''This is crap. Write something we can understand. KThxBai''

Like, at the end of this OP. It was the subconscious eating away at you in terms of what insanity is..

 

[DerpDaBerp]

You cannot give me critique, if you don't even understand my OP.

That's the thing. There are two different aspects of your writing that have drawn all this attention: the content (as in, the actual ideas you're trying to convey) and the form and style of your writing.

Clearly you want to discuss your ideas--you want us to understand and delve into what you have to say. The reason you've recieved so much commentary on the writing form instead is because that is the first obstacle we would need to get over in order to start a discussion on the actual content.

There is no post we can make that, in one fell swoop, will help you in both aspects.

You need to go through what I have written, and explain to me what you don't understand, so I can elaborate what I was going for.

You can ask us to meticulously point out all the things that confuse us, but until you throw us a bone and make the attempt to clean up your form, the answer to that will remain, "just about all of it."

 

[Alien Vision]

That's the thing. There are two different aspects of your writing that have drawn all this attention: the content (as in, the actual ideas you're trying to convey) and the form and style of your writing.

Clearly you want to discuss your ideas--you want us to understand and delve into what you have to say. The reason you've recieved so much commentary on the writing form instead is because that is the first obstacle we would need to get over in order to start a discussion on the actual content.

There is no post we can make that, in one fell swoop, will help you in both aspects.



You can ask us to meticulously point out all the things that confuse us, but until you throw us a bone and make the attempt to clean up your form, the answer to that will remain, "just about all of it."

Do you know what nullifies this entire post?

I have an inconsistent mind.. I need you guys to work with me so we can establish a tight connection. I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. .-.

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

Stop stealing my faces xD

If this is an entry about you rather than fictional writing..especially if you're so serious about it;
I vote that it be moved to the User Blogs where it belongs then.

But I really don't have much to say to your OP. You've said as much already in so many other things. Toxicity at this point is all that is necessary until something changes with you. Like going to the doc's for example.

Nothing has changed. You keep saying the same things over and over. What do you want AV? We already know you have explicit nightmare terror things that would make Kirby **** bricks. We know you have a troubled mind. We've expressed our sympathy and our thoughts and opionins.

I won't say how you've taken them, it goes without saying. But know this-With the passage of time sympathy turns to discontentment and then to scorn when nothing is done to change why things are wrong.

The piece as just art is all over the place. Disorder in many different deffinitions of the word.
As a Blog, we know AV there's nothing we can do to help you execpt talk. You have our attention so stop turning us away by being so ragefaceish.

Don't say another swear word or insult until you've had your head checked. It'll do wonders I swear er.. promise.

 

[DerpDaBerp]

I have an inconsistent mind.. I need you guys to work with me so we can establish a tight connection. I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. .-.

You have experienced numerous times what these boards will provide you with in response to your writing. It won't change.

These arguments clearly will never get you anywhere. So you can continue to reveal your personal self in massive blocks of caps-locked expletives, or you can accept the possibility that we cannot give what you ask for.

 

[Alien Vision]

You have experienced numerous times what these boards will provide you with in response to your writing. It won't change.

These arguments clearly will never get you anywhere. So you can continue to reveal your personal self in massive blocks of caps-locked expletives, or you can accept the possibility that we cannot give what you ask for.

If only you've actually given me critique on the other OP's that weren't that convoluted, instead of responding with something that has nothing to do with the OP as a whole. This OP, I understand. The other ones--you have no excuse.

 

[DerpDaBerp]

If only? How ungrateful


from a series of private messages:

Spoiler

Why can I discuss as a very high level when I am managing someone else's idea based upon my own opinions. Why can I give birth to a new idea, and fail to give it life? If I want to become a writer, I really need to understand how to connect with people with the base of my own ideas, not my opinions I have for their ideas.

Can you please assist me? You seem like you know alot about writing, just as much as GS, EE, and LT. You also look like you have more time, so I am here to ask for your help.

Can you critique my blog ''Silence Is Golden''. Aswell as ''Imperfection - Perfection''.

Really, I only ask of you of this task. If you say no, I understand.

I have been dilligently processing everything GoldShadow, and EE have been telling me. I feel like I am only scratching the surface, and I am still getting loss with where to put the punctuation. I am getting so confused, I forgot where to put the punctuation when I already knew where to put them.. .-.

Thanks in advance.

First of all, I'll need a link to your blog since I kinda don't wanna go looking for it.

Now, before I help, I need to make something clear. I'm sure you've gotten this multiple times from people in the Creative Minds, but I need to reiterate: No one will give you advice with your writing or discuss your views with you if you reply in a condescending way. Not being rude is the first step to go from trying to force your view on others, to persuading others to agree with you, which is what you want. People are more receptive when they don't dislike a person.
SO, if someone disagrees with you or doesn't understand you, don't assume they're just idiots. Respect what they say and use your reasoning to make a response.

Alright then, as far as how to improve your writing in a way that better connects to the reader, I'm going to assume we're talking about the essays that you've been submitting to the CM.
The best thing I could possibly tell you is to read A LOT of non-fiction, but more specifically, other people's essays.
http://www.iep.utm.edu/
That website is the Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Find someone who you think wrote about stuff you'd like to hear. Read their stuff, read more people's stuff, and then read more people's stuff. Philosophers become famous because of their ability to convey immensely complex ideas in a way that a lot of people can understand. It seems like that's what you need most. Many of them are very difficult to understand but learning isn't always easy. You may also wind up having to buy some of their works from a bookstore.

And as far as punctuation goes, that's probably a technical enough problem to where you may wanna get tutoring from a professional.

Once I read more of your stuff I will give you some help on a more particular level.

And if I misunderstood any of your requests, sorry

If you noticed.. I accepted EE's and GS's critique when they actually could understand what I was really trying to get across. What happened in my first thread was nothing but a fire that wasn't caught before it spread to a level that blinded our visions. Seriously, Massakeke didn't even read the whole thing.. This is not the point though.

I wish for you to critique this: http://www.smashboards.com/showthread.php?t=306356

To show me where I need to improve. I know I have some really good ideas, but I just can't properly place it into my writing. Also, if you want to see my most recent improvement. Read my response to GS's reply to my OP in ''Second Layer of Ignorance.

^^ Thankyou in advance.

Ok, so my major gripe about the blog is that you use too many terms at once to describe complex things. I feel like it's almost intended to be figurative and poetic rather than educational.

The first paragraph is a good example:
-You mention the words "Neutral Corruption" without first explaining to us what that is.
-You describe this thing as a "lovely paradox" before telling us what the thing is.
-"...serves as a meaning, rather than a process leading to something more significant." Why are you telling us this, we don't even know what context any of these terms are being used in.
-"It is aligned by both perfection and imperfection." What is?

You describe a WHOLE LOT of things you haven't even revealed to us yet. And being cryptic like this is a great way to discourage readers.

Define your terms first and define them thoroughly and without figurative language. As far as I'm concerned, being dry is better than being misunderstood.

I'm sleepy. I'll get back to you.


Oh, and if there's anything in my advice you disagree, tell me about it

How can I disagree with that? It's true. I explained all of this later on though. (Still, I am sure I am still being too cryptic) Can you tell me how C4SH was able to understand what I meant, if I didn't state all of the puzzle pieces needed to connect with my readers? I am going to take a guess that you only read the first part thoroughly, skimmed the rest, and went to bed. I understand though. ^^ I was tired too. .-.

I'm going to be honest, it's because he's a more patient reader than I am.

The reason I focused on the first paragraph was because it was the first big problem I encountered, so we should try to take care fo that first before going further.
Calling things "puzzle pieces" and "shadows" are the kinds of figurative language that don't make any sense. I mean, yes, they fit with what you're trying to describe, but you're trying to paint me a picture when I'm trying to read an essay

I'm thinking maybe you should re-write Perfection - Imperfection with some changes like taking out any unnecessary descriptors and defining your terms carefully before you begin to talk about how they relate to each other.
and maybe just send it to me instead of making it a blog update.
At that point I'll be able to enter the actual discussion.

Instead of cleaning it up. Why not just ask me some questions, and I will give you the answers thoroughly? So you can understand and critique it afterwards, and I can pinpoint exactly where I am putting too much abstract imagery. That sounds like a splendid idea!

If you are up for it of course. :D What say you?

Ok, well, whether you want me to discuss your writing or your content, I'll need you to clean it up.

Thats the point of my idea.. -._.- You point out all of the parts that you think I need to clean up, and I will RENOVATE it with my secret powers! Muahahaha.

Also, go look at LT's post in ''Second Layer of Ignorance''. How in the hell did he pick up that from my simple response to you? > _ >

About LT's comment, it's because you outright dismissed what I said, despite its accuracy, without offering any understanding or humility to someone willing to offer you a pointer.

Now then, I can't know if you're learning what you're doing wrong if you don't try to edit your own work. I've already told you the major things you need to change: No more unnecessary descriptors and figurative language and to not throw out terms without having first defined them thoroughly. I cannot and will not carry you through your revisions one-by-one. I need you to write me a second draft.
If it makes it sound any easier, I would imagine the second draft to be much shorter.

Ok. The PM after this one WILL be the summary, and indepth version of my ''rough draft'' I put up. Ok? Ok! ^-^

That's all, folks

 

[Alien Vision]

If only? How ungrateful


from a series of private messages:

Spoiler

That's all, folks

I do apologize that I forgot, but you still weren't being a significant source to my other OP's.