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The Incredibly Strange (yet totally believable) Adventures of kip,Swig,Jing,and Gary
- Thread starter Blackadder
- Start date
Banana_Dragon
Smash Journeyman
Yup... The Power Rangers song did it... lol
The kittens did too.
As I keep saying, awesome job and may many more of these random story texts come!
The kittens did too.
As I keep saying, awesome job and may many more of these random story texts come!
kairicks134
Smash Rookie
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2007
- Messages
- 4
this is really good,but there isn't any naritive structure
Blackadder
Smash Master
Yeah, there isn't meant to be one!
It's really not meant to make any sense at all, and much of the chapters are rambling and unstructured. It's...my structure!
Thanks for the comment! Rare to see any new ones.
Also guys, next chapter should be up later today.
Blackadder
Smash Master
Chapter 24: “We Ready To Eat Lollies Now!”
Zordon had been talking and explaining the new Power Rangers’ ultimate fate for about 67 minutes now. While Swig lay in the corner bleeding to death from his gunshot wound, and Kip listened in with interest, Jing couldn’t care less. He simply sat in the middle of it all, playing with his thumbs.
Jing’s Left thumb got really bored, and flopped down.
“Ohno..” Jing mumbled, “My thumbs gone flaccid…”
“Ye-heh, not unlike your pe-“
“Shut up right thumb!”
“You can’t shut me up! I’m the right thumb!”
“Right or not, it was offensive…”
“Ye-heh! Also like your pe-“
Jing got a sinister idea.
Zordon continued to talk. “…and so, when the giant monster machines of death grow to enormous sizes and run into a conveniently empty and/or abandoned district area were the only people that’ll be able to be killed are you new Power Rangers’ you have to fight him and stuff. And then he’ll explode. And then you’ll all learn a valuable lesson about being yourselves or some thing like that. Yeah, go kill Somebody now.
Kip pulled a face.
“Wait-what?”
Zordon sighed.
“Well, sorry, but…seriously, I didn’t get a-“
A scream was heard.
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Everyone turned over to the left. Jing was in the corner, bleeding everywhere. “Jing! What happened!?” Kip asked.
“I cut my right thumb off!”
“That was a silly thing to do! You know you thumbs part of you!”
“I didn’t know I was part of IT though!”
Then everyone drowned in Jing’s blood.
Seriously.
That’s it. The end. Over. Gone. Kaput.
What, you want more? Ugh…
Then some sit happened and Kip, Swig, Jing and Alpha all got into there power Rangers gear and ended up outside a nice bar somewhere in California.
Kip took a kickarse stance.
“I’m the Red Ranger!”
Swig took an awesome stance.
“I’m the Green Ranger!”
Alpha took a badarse stance.
“I’m the Black Ranger, *****!”
Jing took a cute stance.
“I’m the Pink Ranger! … …. ****.”
Suddenly a bunch of hot teenage girls came up to the Rangers.
“Liek, OMG! Ur so hawt Red Ranga!”
“And this Green Ranga is OMFG hawt!”
“Nothin’ compared to the smexy Black Ranga!”
Jing Watched as they carried his hawt friends of ‘round the back of the bar.
He figured he had nothing else to do. He slowly trudged his way over to the inside of the bar.
The second he got in he heard some lolish music.
The more he headed over to the left side of the bar, the louder it got.
It was…
It was…
IT WAS…
Nothing.
Jing sat down, and cried himself to sleep.
“I…I say, that little pink girl in the corner of that Californian bar looks a little down don’t she old boy?”
“Y…Yes, I would say that also.”
“D…Do you think she’s sad because of a religious reason?”
“W…What like, when the Pope ate all the Snail Men’s cake on that unfortunate Sunday?”
“Y…Yes! Only more like the time he accidentally ***** all those poor Mormons when he thought they were toddlers.”
“H…Hmmmm.”
A naked man came up. “Oi, look if you two Palm Trees’ don’t stop talking, I’ll Smash you.”
….I am NOT out of ideas! I guarantee that! I’m just exploring the medium of why Tree’s don’t ever say a word.
…
Zordon had been talking and explaining the new Power Rangers’ ultimate fate for about 67 minutes now. While Swig lay in the corner bleeding to death from his gunshot wound, and Kip listened in with interest, Jing couldn’t care less. He simply sat in the middle of it all, playing with his thumbs.
Jing’s Left thumb got really bored, and flopped down.
“Ohno..” Jing mumbled, “My thumbs gone flaccid…”
“Ye-heh, not unlike your pe-“
“Shut up right thumb!”
“You can’t shut me up! I’m the right thumb!”
“Right or not, it was offensive…”
“Ye-heh! Also like your pe-“
Jing got a sinister idea.
Zordon continued to talk. “…and so, when the giant monster machines of death grow to enormous sizes and run into a conveniently empty and/or abandoned district area were the only people that’ll be able to be killed are you new Power Rangers’ you have to fight him and stuff. And then he’ll explode. And then you’ll all learn a valuable lesson about being yourselves or some thing like that. Yeah, go kill Somebody now.
Kip pulled a face.
“Wait-what?”
Zordon sighed.
“Well, sorry, but…seriously, I didn’t get a-“
A scream was heard.
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”
Everyone turned over to the left. Jing was in the corner, bleeding everywhere. “Jing! What happened!?” Kip asked.
“I cut my right thumb off!”
“That was a silly thing to do! You know you thumbs part of you!”
“I didn’t know I was part of IT though!”
Then everyone drowned in Jing’s blood.
Seriously.
That’s it. The end. Over. Gone. Kaput.
What, you want more? Ugh…
Then some sit happened and Kip, Swig, Jing and Alpha all got into there power Rangers gear and ended up outside a nice bar somewhere in California.
Kip took a kickarse stance.
“I’m the Red Ranger!”
Swig took an awesome stance.
“I’m the Green Ranger!”
Alpha took a badarse stance.
“I’m the Black Ranger, *****!”
Jing took a cute stance.
“I’m the Pink Ranger! … …. ****.”
Suddenly a bunch of hot teenage girls came up to the Rangers.
“Liek, OMG! Ur so hawt Red Ranga!”
“And this Green Ranga is OMFG hawt!”
“Nothin’ compared to the smexy Black Ranga!”
Jing Watched as they carried his hawt friends of ‘round the back of the bar.
He figured he had nothing else to do. He slowly trudged his way over to the inside of the bar.
The second he got in he heard some lolish music.
The more he headed over to the left side of the bar, the louder it got.
It was…
It was…
IT WAS…
Nothing.
Jing sat down, and cried himself to sleep.
“I…I say, that little pink girl in the corner of that Californian bar looks a little down don’t she old boy?”
“Y…Yes, I would say that also.”
“D…Do you think she’s sad because of a religious reason?”
“W…What like, when the Pope ate all the Snail Men’s cake on that unfortunate Sunday?”
“Y…Yes! Only more like the time he accidentally ***** all those poor Mormons when he thought they were toddlers.”
“H…Hmmmm.”
A naked man came up. “Oi, look if you two Palm Trees’ don’t stop talking, I’ll Smash you.”
….I am NOT out of ideas! I guarantee that! I’m just exploring the medium of why Tree’s don’t ever say a word.
…
Banana_Dragon
Smash Journeyman
Still great.
Everyone needs a bit of randomness! And power rangers!
Keep it up!
Everyone needs a bit of randomness! And power rangers!
Keep it up!
Cereal Rabbit
Smash Lord
I believe the story...
Great stories though, keep it up.
Great stories though, keep it up.
Blackadder
Smash Master
Whoops, I'd forgotten to update this again. Ugh.
Two replies is just epic enough for me to keep this story going though.
I should have another chapter out...oh, we'll go with tommorow.
Thanks for the comment Rabbit, and Bananadragon, as always!
Two replies is just epic enough for me to keep this story going though.
I should have another chapter out...oh, we'll go with tommorow.
Thanks for the comment Rabbit, and Bananadragon, as always!
Blackadder
Smash Master
Chapter 24: “Arse Pull”
As a side note, I had huge amounts of fun with this chapter. It was a blast to write.
Jing was getting fed up with his Power Ranger friends being better and getting more women in the bag then he.
“I’ll have to do the unthinkable!” he screamed.
“I WILL BECOME EVIL!”
A couple of nearby police officers heard this, and subsequently arrested him. The system works.
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, Somebody, epitome of evil, was waiting. Waiting and laughing and plotting and pleasuring himself. “When the Power Rangers come, I will send my Putties after them! Hur hur hur!”
He chuckle some more.
“And then, when they have defeated my pathetic putties, I hall pretend that I am surprised! Hur hur hur!”
His laughing was becoming more manly.
“Then I will send in my giant robot, which I should have done in the first place! And when the Rangers defeat that, I will challenge them to a game of Russian Roulette! Because I’m Russian! All Russians are evil! HUR HUR HUR!”
Kip and Swig were enjoying the company of the hawt teenage girls. “Man,” Swig began, taking a sip of his drink “This is fun.”
Kip nodded happily.
Suddenly their amazing Power Ranger Wrist Watch Thingies went off.
Kip and Swig went red. “Ah…we need to go to the toilet!”
One of the girls looked puzzled. “Together?”
“… … … … … Yes.”
And thus the two heroes ran off and changed into Power Rangers!
Somebody scrunched his face up. “Wait, hold it there. The girls were attracted to them BECAUSE they’re Power rangers! Why did they pretend they weren’t suddenly?”
Uhm. Well, it’s simple, shut the **** up, or I’ll kill you. See? Simple.
And then it was resolved.
Kip and Swig were ready to fight. They struck some awesome poses, and readied for an attack.
An ominous sound was coming close to them. “Gobble gobble gobble…gobble..gobblegobblegobbleGOOBLE GOOBLE!”
The Putties were in fight mode!
“Putties!” Kip yelled, stating the obvious.
“They’re gonna to fight us!” Jing chipped in.
“That one’s holding the magic key that will take us to Somebody’s lair!” Kip screamed.
“And they’re grey!” Swig announced.
“One of them is punching me in the face!” Kip declared.
“The one next to the one punching you in the face is cutting my balls of with rusty pliers!” Swig yelled, his voice getting higher with each syllable.
“The one that was previously punching me in the face is now stomping on my back, while what looks to be his friend is chewing on my nipples!” Kip stated.
“The one that was cutting off my balls with rusty pliers completely snipped them off, and is now slowly cutting out my intestine! Oh Kip, we’re too bust stating the obvious all the time, we may never attack!” Swig whispered. Yes, whispered.
“Don’t worry Swig! We’re the heroes! We can’t lose!”
Suddenly all the Putties feel down dead. In a sudden moment in which the writer suddenly remembered an old running gag, Kip did the same.
*Splat*
Somebody was laughing. His voice boomed all over Earth. Interestingly enough, only Swig and the now dead Kip heard or cared about it.
“Hur hur hur! You’ve beaten my Putties! Now for the real test!”
Suddenly a giant stick hit the ground. *BOOM!*
And one of the Putties’ grew. Like, really big. About as tall as the Twin Towers…were. ..Too soon?
Well, it didn’t matter. Kip and Swig summoned a huge Zord.
The battle had begun. The city of Seattle would never be the same.
Kip and Swig were in the main cockpits of the Zord.
“Kip, you alive!? Kip! Wake up! The Puttie is gonna kill uuuusss!”
Kip sighed. Even in death, he had to work hard. He got up, and pressed a button. The Zord charged right at the Puttie!
…I can’t do this. From now on, the battle is gonna be done in sound effects.
*BOOM!!! BOWWW! SMASHCRACKLSCREM!!! CWV WHW CWJB !!! SMAAAAAAAASH!!! FALCON…PUUUUUUUNCH!!!!! BOOOMSHACKLALKA!!! KA-POW! BAM!*
And thus the battle was won. The Puttie lay around dead, amongst the debris.
A lone man stood amid the chaos of the thousands of dead people, rushing fire fighters, destroyed buildings, open sewer stench, and crying women and men. He looked at the cheering Kip and Swig in their Zord.
He wiped his nose, glared right at that, and let out only a sarcastic quip.
“Thank God for you guys.”
And then he walked away, nonchalantly.
Somebody’s voice boomed over Earth again. “Nooo! My beautiful Putties’! I challenge you meddling kids to a game of Russian Roulette!”
As a side note, I had huge amounts of fun with this chapter. It was a blast to write.
Jing was getting fed up with his Power Ranger friends being better and getting more women in the bag then he.
“I’ll have to do the unthinkable!” he screamed.
“I WILL BECOME EVIL!”
A couple of nearby police officers heard this, and subsequently arrested him. The system works.
Meanwhile, in outer space somewhere, Somebody, epitome of evil, was waiting. Waiting and laughing and plotting and pleasuring himself. “When the Power Rangers come, I will send my Putties after them! Hur hur hur!”
He chuckle some more.
“And then, when they have defeated my pathetic putties, I hall pretend that I am surprised! Hur hur hur!”
His laughing was becoming more manly.
“Then I will send in my giant robot, which I should have done in the first place! And when the Rangers defeat that, I will challenge them to a game of Russian Roulette! Because I’m Russian! All Russians are evil! HUR HUR HUR!”
Kip and Swig were enjoying the company of the hawt teenage girls. “Man,” Swig began, taking a sip of his drink “This is fun.”
Kip nodded happily.
Suddenly their amazing Power Ranger Wrist Watch Thingies went off.
Kip and Swig went red. “Ah…we need to go to the toilet!”
One of the girls looked puzzled. “Together?”
“… … … … … Yes.”
And thus the two heroes ran off and changed into Power Rangers!
Somebody scrunched his face up. “Wait, hold it there. The girls were attracted to them BECAUSE they’re Power rangers! Why did they pretend they weren’t suddenly?”
Uhm. Well, it’s simple, shut the **** up, or I’ll kill you. See? Simple.
And then it was resolved.
Kip and Swig were ready to fight. They struck some awesome poses, and readied for an attack.
An ominous sound was coming close to them. “Gobble gobble gobble…gobble..gobblegobblegobbleGOOBLE GOOBLE!”
The Putties were in fight mode!
“Putties!” Kip yelled, stating the obvious.
“They’re gonna to fight us!” Jing chipped in.
“That one’s holding the magic key that will take us to Somebody’s lair!” Kip screamed.
“And they’re grey!” Swig announced.
“One of them is punching me in the face!” Kip declared.
“The one next to the one punching you in the face is cutting my balls of with rusty pliers!” Swig yelled, his voice getting higher with each syllable.
“The one that was previously punching me in the face is now stomping on my back, while what looks to be his friend is chewing on my nipples!” Kip stated.
“The one that was cutting off my balls with rusty pliers completely snipped them off, and is now slowly cutting out my intestine! Oh Kip, we’re too bust stating the obvious all the time, we may never attack!” Swig whispered. Yes, whispered.
“Don’t worry Swig! We’re the heroes! We can’t lose!”
Suddenly all the Putties feel down dead. In a sudden moment in which the writer suddenly remembered an old running gag, Kip did the same.
*Splat*
Somebody was laughing. His voice boomed all over Earth. Interestingly enough, only Swig and the now dead Kip heard or cared about it.
“Hur hur hur! You’ve beaten my Putties! Now for the real test!”
Suddenly a giant stick hit the ground. *BOOM!*
And one of the Putties’ grew. Like, really big. About as tall as the Twin Towers…were. ..Too soon?
Well, it didn’t matter. Kip and Swig summoned a huge Zord.
The battle had begun. The city of Seattle would never be the same.
Kip and Swig were in the main cockpits of the Zord.
“Kip, you alive!? Kip! Wake up! The Puttie is gonna kill uuuusss!”
Kip sighed. Even in death, he had to work hard. He got up, and pressed a button. The Zord charged right at the Puttie!
…I can’t do this. From now on, the battle is gonna be done in sound effects.
*BOOM!!! BOWWW! SMASHCRACKLSCREM!!! CWV WHW CWJB !!! SMAAAAAAAASH!!! FALCON…PUUUUUUUNCH!!!!! BOOOMSHACKLALKA!!! KA-POW! BAM!*
And thus the battle was won. The Puttie lay around dead, amongst the debris.
A lone man stood amid the chaos of the thousands of dead people, rushing fire fighters, destroyed buildings, open sewer stench, and crying women and men. He looked at the cheering Kip and Swig in their Zord.
He wiped his nose, glared right at that, and let out only a sarcastic quip.
“Thank God for you guys.”
And then he walked away, nonchalantly.
Somebody’s voice boomed over Earth again. “Nooo! My beautiful Putties’! I challenge you meddling kids to a game of Russian Roulette!”
Banana_Dragon
Smash Journeyman
"Uhm. Well, it’s simple, shut the **** up, or I’ll kill you. See? Simple."
LAWL XD That's a classic
No matter how cliché, it's a classic.
Loved the sound effects battle and 'stating what's happening' as well, along with the cynical reference to the police
All in all, great chapter! One of the best so far, keep it up!
LAWL XD That's a classic
No matter how cliché, it's a classic.Loved the sound effects battle and 'stating what's happening' as well, along with the cynical reference to the police
All in all, great chapter! One of the best so far, keep it up!