Fatmanonice
Banned via Warnings
Link to original post: [drupal=4387]The Elephant in the Room: Discussing Religious Minorities in America [/drupal]
*Since my last blog post here back in April, I have actually written four other essays but I will only have them on my Facebook page because I think they would be confusing for people who don't know me in real life as they largely revolve around my graduation and giving thanks to people who helped me get to where I am today.*
This has been a topic I’ve been mulling around for years but, until now, I didn’t know how to present it. What has recently inspired me to write this essay are my recent experiences in the past two months in dealing with people with different religious affiliations. Since late 2009, I’ve gone out of my way to try to better understand different religious beliefs. I help out with seven religious organizations at SEMO with five representing different denominations of Christianity, one being Islamic, and one being atheist/agnostic/skeptic/humanist. I have a lot of friends that represent a wide spectrum of religious/spiritual beliefs too. I want to take this time to focus on those, including myself, who live in the shadow of America’s major religion. With about ¾’s of the population professing to Christianity, what it’s like to be a religious minority is something that is not readily relatable to most Americans. I want to take the time to retell some of my experiences with being outside the bigger circle and of a few groups I’m run into the past couple of years.
I’m not going to lie; it’s a little lonely being a religious minority in America. When I left Christianity in 2004, one of the first major obstacles I faced was the overwhelming sense of loneliness that initially came with it. If I had to describe it, it’s like getting off a plane at an airport terminal and knowing full well that no one is waiting for you. You don’t know where to go and you can’t get back on the plane; your only option is to leave, by yourself, dragging your suitcases behind you. No one helps you with your baggage and you really can’t ask for help because you don’t know how people will react if you do. In those early years I was a closet case agnostic living in a Christian household in a Christian dominated culture. I didn’t “come out” to my parents until November 2009 when I ended up sharing my beliefs with my Mom over the course of two hours on the phone. As she kept asking “why, why, why”, I was barely able to cover up the raw fear that my family would disown me for it. When your parents pay for most of your rent and your classes, the idea of suddenly being cut off because of your religious beliefs is more than just a little intimidating. Even now, my family acts as a very strong support in my life and it’s hard to picture of how devastated I would be if that was suddenly gone.
Since becoming an agnostic-theist, I have only met two other agnostic-theists in real life. Outside the internet, it’s hard to find people who aren’t religious and will openly admit to it. There’s a lot of stigma attached to it that I don’t think many Christians understand. When talking about my religious beliefs, I’m usually greeted with a lot of confusion because most people don’t even know what an agnostic-theist is. Some people mistake me as an atheist and that’s when things go quickly downhill. Atheism is treated with an unnecessary amount of suspicion and hostility in this country. In polls about what people think of different religious minorities, atheists are almost always at the rock bottom when it comes to the percentage of people who would trust them, let their children associate with them, invite them to their house, or even talk to them. As I’m often lumped into this group, I have been accused of being “up to something”, morally bankrupt, or completely selfish even while working charity events. When people act like you’re acting out of character when you’re being morally upstanding it hurts in a way that I don’t think a lot of Christians can relate to.
As an agnostic-theist, I obviously don’t belong to a church. I don’t have a building where I can officially congregate with other agnostic-theists. Here in Cape Girardeau, even when you’re out in the country, it doesn’t take longer than ten minutes to find at least one church. People don’t often think about it but in cities like this, churches often outnumber the fast food restaurants and it’s daunting for someone who’s not a Christian. In Cape, I know it has to be like this for Jews and Muslims too. The only temple in town was closed over a decade ago and, despite a Jewish family owning it, they won’t reopen it for reasons they don’t want to disclose to the public. Cape has a small Islamic center that’s easy to miss if you aren’t looking especially since it doesn’t resemble a mosque at all. Like me, I imagine that they have had to go through some of the same experiences that I have had being a religious minority.
Now-a-days, I only have one Jewish friend and my interactions with her have helped me better understand what it’s like being a Jew in America. She invited me to a Passover Seder in April and we ended up having it in the basement of a Catholic church. Including myself, about fifteen people attended but maybe only five of the people there were Jewish. During the meal, someone expressed the grand irony of the whole setting because of major historical events like the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust. He was right and a few people gave a quiet laugh before someone quickly stepped in to change the subject. The irony of the setting was the definition of overkill. Here we had a small Jewish community whose numbers were largely diminished because of the actions of the majority and now were somewhat dependent on them to preserve the traditions that same majority once tried to destroy.
On Fridays that I’m available, I help out at the Islamic center in Cape. They make box dinners for the local poor and we go out in a van and personally deliver these meals to them. The first time I went there, I wandered into the mosque because I didn’t know where to go for the event. I was quickly discovered and a small group of men invited me to dinner in the meeting hall next door. The Muslim Student Association of Saint Louis University was visiting that day and I got to talk to people of both groups about what it was like being a Muslim in America. To summarize what they said, it’s hard largely because of the media, particularly Fox News. Although atheists are consistently voted the most untrusted in polls, Muslims are usually not that far behind. Life in the Middle East is constantly satirized in comedies and cartoons and Arabs/Middle Easterns have been common villains in movies and TV shows in the past two decades. Muslims are commonly depicted as backwards and barbaric too which I imagine has made their lives especially hard.
One of the things that made my first trip to the Islamic center so memorable is how many pamphlets I got from the president of SEMO’s MSA. They covered a wide variety of topics and it was abundantly clear that the main thing this group wanted from me was a basic understanding of their religion. I had read about half of the Koran the summer before and have studied Islam at various times since my sophomore year of high school but they couldn’t have known that. When I first came to the Islamic center, they thought I was doing a school project. One of the women there had bluntly asked me why I had come and there was a certain air of disbelief in the room when I told them that I was there to help. I wasn’t a Muslim and I wanted to help. I imagine that, given America’s current attitude towards Islam, they saw this as highly unusual, just the same as other religious groups that have cautiously let me work with them. The fact that I was so eager to better understand their point of view probably came as a shock but when you have a culture that already heavily looks down on you, it pays to be cautious.
Seeing how these groups have dealt with being religious minorities has helped me looker deeper into my own experience. As I mentioned earlier on, they probably have gone through similar experiences like encountering overzealous evangelists, running into people who treat your beliefs like a disease that needs to be cured, and being dragged into debates and arguments even when you’re trying your hardest to find common ground. They’ve also probably have been accused of trying to undermine “American traditions” despite the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights being the greatest American tradition of them all. The Establishment Clause of the Constitution states that the American government won’t have any bias to any one particular religion but my experience says that’s far from the reality of things and I’m sure these groups would agree me. In regards to the Establishment Clause, I think that brings up another interesting point of the religious minority experience.
Religious minorities, particularly those who are secular, are often accused of trying to push their ways on the American public but, in truth, it’s the other way around. A common example is the “War on Christmas.” Despite Fox News’ outcries every December, it doesn’t exist. It’s not a “war” to eliminate Christmas but a movement to make things fairer and follow the Constitution. According to the Establishment Clause, courthouses and federal buildings shouldn’t have things like mangers around Christmas. According to the Establishment Clause, “under God” shouldn’t be in the Pledge of Allegiance (and, truth be told, was only added in the 1950’s during the McCarthy days). According to the Establishment Clause, “In God we Trust” shouldn’t be on money, the national anthem shouldn’t be changed to “God Bless America”, and teachers shouldn’t lead class prayers unless it is a religious school. Why is this? It’s because not everyone in America is Christian and, despite being the majority, it should still be acknowledged that the minorities exist. In this sense, there’s only two options, favor everyone or nobody at all; the more practical answer should be obvious. When people speak out against the things I mentioned, it isn’t an attempt to overthrow Christianity but to take some of the pressure off that comes with someone who doesn’t agree with the majority.
When it comes to this topic, I don’t think I have yet to say enough when it comes to the experience of a religious minority in America. It is something that is not readily relatable to the general populous and creating common ground is often difficult. Despite this difficulty, I would like to stress that this common ground is essential to progress. One of the most important lessons that I’ve learned so far in my college career is that you hardly learn anything if you only spend time with people who are just like you and who agree with everything you say and believe. I believe it’s important to keep your identity in the face of opposing views but at the same time realize that most of the people who disagree with you are not your enemies. A good rule of thumb of social conduct to follow is to assume that people’s beliefs are as important to them as yours’ are to you. Following this, I think people would be more sensitive to little guys like me and pay attention to the elephant in the room that’s actually been a longtime house guest.
Fatmanonice, June 12th 2011
“We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world, there is room for everyone.” –Charlie Chaplin
“It contributes greatly towards a man’s moral and intellectual health, to be brought into habits of companionship with individuals unlike himself, who care little of his pursuits, and whose sphere and abilities he must go out of himself to appreciate.” –Nathaniel Hawthorne
“I never considered a difference of opinions in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” –Thomas Jefferson
*Since my last blog post here back in April, I have actually written four other essays but I will only have them on my Facebook page because I think they would be confusing for people who don't know me in real life as they largely revolve around my graduation and giving thanks to people who helped me get to where I am today.*
This has been a topic I’ve been mulling around for years but, until now, I didn’t know how to present it. What has recently inspired me to write this essay are my recent experiences in the past two months in dealing with people with different religious affiliations. Since late 2009, I’ve gone out of my way to try to better understand different religious beliefs. I help out with seven religious organizations at SEMO with five representing different denominations of Christianity, one being Islamic, and one being atheist/agnostic/skeptic/humanist. I have a lot of friends that represent a wide spectrum of religious/spiritual beliefs too. I want to take this time to focus on those, including myself, who live in the shadow of America’s major religion. With about ¾’s of the population professing to Christianity, what it’s like to be a religious minority is something that is not readily relatable to most Americans. I want to take the time to retell some of my experiences with being outside the bigger circle and of a few groups I’m run into the past couple of years.
I’m not going to lie; it’s a little lonely being a religious minority in America. When I left Christianity in 2004, one of the first major obstacles I faced was the overwhelming sense of loneliness that initially came with it. If I had to describe it, it’s like getting off a plane at an airport terminal and knowing full well that no one is waiting for you. You don’t know where to go and you can’t get back on the plane; your only option is to leave, by yourself, dragging your suitcases behind you. No one helps you with your baggage and you really can’t ask for help because you don’t know how people will react if you do. In those early years I was a closet case agnostic living in a Christian household in a Christian dominated culture. I didn’t “come out” to my parents until November 2009 when I ended up sharing my beliefs with my Mom over the course of two hours on the phone. As she kept asking “why, why, why”, I was barely able to cover up the raw fear that my family would disown me for it. When your parents pay for most of your rent and your classes, the idea of suddenly being cut off because of your religious beliefs is more than just a little intimidating. Even now, my family acts as a very strong support in my life and it’s hard to picture of how devastated I would be if that was suddenly gone.
Since becoming an agnostic-theist, I have only met two other agnostic-theists in real life. Outside the internet, it’s hard to find people who aren’t religious and will openly admit to it. There’s a lot of stigma attached to it that I don’t think many Christians understand. When talking about my religious beliefs, I’m usually greeted with a lot of confusion because most people don’t even know what an agnostic-theist is. Some people mistake me as an atheist and that’s when things go quickly downhill. Atheism is treated with an unnecessary amount of suspicion and hostility in this country. In polls about what people think of different religious minorities, atheists are almost always at the rock bottom when it comes to the percentage of people who would trust them, let their children associate with them, invite them to their house, or even talk to them. As I’m often lumped into this group, I have been accused of being “up to something”, morally bankrupt, or completely selfish even while working charity events. When people act like you’re acting out of character when you’re being morally upstanding it hurts in a way that I don’t think a lot of Christians can relate to.
As an agnostic-theist, I obviously don’t belong to a church. I don’t have a building where I can officially congregate with other agnostic-theists. Here in Cape Girardeau, even when you’re out in the country, it doesn’t take longer than ten minutes to find at least one church. People don’t often think about it but in cities like this, churches often outnumber the fast food restaurants and it’s daunting for someone who’s not a Christian. In Cape, I know it has to be like this for Jews and Muslims too. The only temple in town was closed over a decade ago and, despite a Jewish family owning it, they won’t reopen it for reasons they don’t want to disclose to the public. Cape has a small Islamic center that’s easy to miss if you aren’t looking especially since it doesn’t resemble a mosque at all. Like me, I imagine that they have had to go through some of the same experiences that I have had being a religious minority.
Now-a-days, I only have one Jewish friend and my interactions with her have helped me better understand what it’s like being a Jew in America. She invited me to a Passover Seder in April and we ended up having it in the basement of a Catholic church. Including myself, about fifteen people attended but maybe only five of the people there were Jewish. During the meal, someone expressed the grand irony of the whole setting because of major historical events like the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust. He was right and a few people gave a quiet laugh before someone quickly stepped in to change the subject. The irony of the setting was the definition of overkill. Here we had a small Jewish community whose numbers were largely diminished because of the actions of the majority and now were somewhat dependent on them to preserve the traditions that same majority once tried to destroy.
On Fridays that I’m available, I help out at the Islamic center in Cape. They make box dinners for the local poor and we go out in a van and personally deliver these meals to them. The first time I went there, I wandered into the mosque because I didn’t know where to go for the event. I was quickly discovered and a small group of men invited me to dinner in the meeting hall next door. The Muslim Student Association of Saint Louis University was visiting that day and I got to talk to people of both groups about what it was like being a Muslim in America. To summarize what they said, it’s hard largely because of the media, particularly Fox News. Although atheists are consistently voted the most untrusted in polls, Muslims are usually not that far behind. Life in the Middle East is constantly satirized in comedies and cartoons and Arabs/Middle Easterns have been common villains in movies and TV shows in the past two decades. Muslims are commonly depicted as backwards and barbaric too which I imagine has made their lives especially hard.
One of the things that made my first trip to the Islamic center so memorable is how many pamphlets I got from the president of SEMO’s MSA. They covered a wide variety of topics and it was abundantly clear that the main thing this group wanted from me was a basic understanding of their religion. I had read about half of the Koran the summer before and have studied Islam at various times since my sophomore year of high school but they couldn’t have known that. When I first came to the Islamic center, they thought I was doing a school project. One of the women there had bluntly asked me why I had come and there was a certain air of disbelief in the room when I told them that I was there to help. I wasn’t a Muslim and I wanted to help. I imagine that, given America’s current attitude towards Islam, they saw this as highly unusual, just the same as other religious groups that have cautiously let me work with them. The fact that I was so eager to better understand their point of view probably came as a shock but when you have a culture that already heavily looks down on you, it pays to be cautious.
Seeing how these groups have dealt with being religious minorities has helped me looker deeper into my own experience. As I mentioned earlier on, they probably have gone through similar experiences like encountering overzealous evangelists, running into people who treat your beliefs like a disease that needs to be cured, and being dragged into debates and arguments even when you’re trying your hardest to find common ground. They’ve also probably have been accused of trying to undermine “American traditions” despite the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights being the greatest American tradition of them all. The Establishment Clause of the Constitution states that the American government won’t have any bias to any one particular religion but my experience says that’s far from the reality of things and I’m sure these groups would agree me. In regards to the Establishment Clause, I think that brings up another interesting point of the religious minority experience.
Religious minorities, particularly those who are secular, are often accused of trying to push their ways on the American public but, in truth, it’s the other way around. A common example is the “War on Christmas.” Despite Fox News’ outcries every December, it doesn’t exist. It’s not a “war” to eliminate Christmas but a movement to make things fairer and follow the Constitution. According to the Establishment Clause, courthouses and federal buildings shouldn’t have things like mangers around Christmas. According to the Establishment Clause, “under God” shouldn’t be in the Pledge of Allegiance (and, truth be told, was only added in the 1950’s during the McCarthy days). According to the Establishment Clause, “In God we Trust” shouldn’t be on money, the national anthem shouldn’t be changed to “God Bless America”, and teachers shouldn’t lead class prayers unless it is a religious school. Why is this? It’s because not everyone in America is Christian and, despite being the majority, it should still be acknowledged that the minorities exist. In this sense, there’s only two options, favor everyone or nobody at all; the more practical answer should be obvious. When people speak out against the things I mentioned, it isn’t an attempt to overthrow Christianity but to take some of the pressure off that comes with someone who doesn’t agree with the majority.
When it comes to this topic, I don’t think I have yet to say enough when it comes to the experience of a religious minority in America. It is something that is not readily relatable to the general populous and creating common ground is often difficult. Despite this difficulty, I would like to stress that this common ground is essential to progress. One of the most important lessons that I’ve learned so far in my college career is that you hardly learn anything if you only spend time with people who are just like you and who agree with everything you say and believe. I believe it’s important to keep your identity in the face of opposing views but at the same time realize that most of the people who disagree with you are not your enemies. A good rule of thumb of social conduct to follow is to assume that people’s beliefs are as important to them as yours’ are to you. Following this, I think people would be more sensitive to little guys like me and pay attention to the elephant in the room that’s actually been a longtime house guest.
Fatmanonice, June 12th 2011
“We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery. We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world, there is room for everyone.” –Charlie Chaplin
“It contributes greatly towards a man’s moral and intellectual health, to be brought into habits of companionship with individuals unlike himself, who care little of his pursuits, and whose sphere and abilities he must go out of himself to appreciate.” –Nathaniel Hawthorne
“I never considered a difference of opinions in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.” –Thomas Jefferson
