Struggles of the all too sane

[Shorts]

Link to original post: [drupal=4053]Struggles of the all too sane[/drupal]



****This is a direct copy from my personal blog, just wanted feedback right away, versus the slow flow over there.

I'm sitting here, eleven at night, contemplating my whole life. The ideal person I want to be with, the perfect person, is unobtainable. I have fallen head over heels for this idea of a straight guy. I like the attitudes intelligent guys bring. Just, what do i do? As i sit here and type to you, I have virtually no clue how my life is going to end up now. Everything I want, is unobtainable. What can I do? I look at people who are really my type of person, and think I "want a guy like that". But I will never have that? What is the point? Like, I just... don't know. I hate this idea of sexual deviance, I hate the idea of it right now. Being gay is so complicated and is an unnecessary burden I am forced to live with. It's like I was built backwards, I'm not fit for this society. I don't even further the species! The existence of me is ridiculously unnecessary. If we are all born for a reason, someone please, tell me mine.

And Stop f****** hiding it from me. . .

RunningInCircles

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

Well it's not totally unheard of that some people are born with male anatemy and a female demeanor.
Don't know if that's what's going on here but I take it if you're looking for a masculine person rather than a feminine one.

I'm straight myself I don't fully understand the whole homosexual physchology whatever, but maybe you could find a really masculine lady friend? They do exist lol

There's always sex change too somebody posted several blogs about that a while back.

Guess you have to ellaborate more on what you want and what role you want to play in your ideal relationship.

 

[El Nino]

This is actually a very common dilemma. Maybe you're just looking for a straight-acting gay guy.

Falling in love with an idealized version of something (anything) can happen to just about anyone. But the ideal anything is always unobtainable, no matter what it is. The fantasy of perfect love is something that I think most people grow out of eventually. The idealized person that lives in your mind tends to dominate when you don't have a lot of experience with real world people or relationships. I think that, as you meet more people and interact with them, the idealization will start to fade a bit. Your expectations of them, yourself, your life, will probably change too.

I guess my only advice is don't go out looking for something too specific. Those who do don't even seem to find it. Just try to connect with people. Eventually, something will spark. There are masculine ***s out there. But, in the meantime, enjoy the view, I guess.

 

[Purple]

Out of curiosity, have you been in relationships before?

The reason I ask is because I kind of figure you having a prince charming dilemma if that's the case; You want to experience this perfect person (at least perfect in your eyes), and because of the fact you have this person (probably) down to the very detail, it pulls you away from liking realistic people.

I wouldn't consider being gay exactly 'complicated', it's just different. Point blank the only difference between being gay and being straight is you like the same sex instead of the opposite. If you're having trouble finding a person that fits you, perhaps you should change up your routine so you'll be looking amongst different people.

 

[Today]

^Definitely agree with all of this! Take it to heart!

And trust me, there is no prince charming! No one is perfect!
Defininetly love yourself!
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly”. And this can mean loving yourself as well. If you can love the imperfect person (yourself) perfectly, the world will never be able to stop you!

 

[Shorts]

Out of curiosity, have you been in relationships before?

The reason I ask is because I kind of figure you having a prince charming dilemma if that's the case; You want to experience this perfect person (at least perfect in your eyes), and because of the fact you have this person (probably) down to the very detail, it pulls you away from liking realistic people.

I wouldn't consider being gay exactly 'complicated', it's just different. Point blank the only difference between being gay and being straight is you like the same sex instead of the opposite. If you're having trouble finding a person that fits you, perhaps you should change up your routine so you'll be looking amongst different people.

I actually dated a Irish kid who was over here with his dad for the summer. He was in the closet. Very much masculine, he play sports as well as being one of the smartest kids I have honestly ever met. We dated for two monthes but when he left, I couldn't handle the distance. I really don't have this "Ideal" guy or any sort of "Prince Charming" hang up. I really just like the straight guy attitude/look. Femininity isn't what I want. And really, being gay is much more complicated, not only different. Think about it. If only 6-10% of males are gay, and you combone that with me not liking feminine guys. . . well that's a low number of people. I was pretty stessed/sad when I wrote this so this isn't bugging me as much. But, yeah.

If you think about it, the two kind of gay guys I have met (Not including Bi kids) are either really feminine, or in the closet. Closet gays act like regular guys. They aren't feminine, and just the only difference between them and other boys is the fact that they don't like girls. But, it's almost impossible to get a closet dweller to actually admit he likes guys, let alone try to date him.

I've just never met someone like me(The guys I dated were closet), Openly Gay, and non-feminine. This is my major problem.

 

[El Nino]

Well, I hear this complaint all the time. A friend of mine prefers masculine guys too. He ended up in a relationship with an older guy he met online. I'm not saying you should go hook up with random creeps from the internet, but some guys can be more open on the net when they can't be in real life. And if you're openly gay, even closet cases pick up on that. Sometimes, that can work to your favor.