small problem

[Jupz]

Link to original post: [drupal=2704]small problem[/drupal]



Well this is my first blog. just wanted some advice on a problem. normally I don't like to share stuff with the internet world (lol) but I feel as though this will help me.

Anyway so basically our school ball is early next year and I thought I was set with a partner. This was like a month ago. But today at school she comes and tells me she has a boyfriend and wants to go with him instead. So I asked around a bit at school and everyone I asked was taken :\ So at home on Facebook I asked some girl I knew from a while ago but hadn't seen in a while that doesn't go to my school. She said yes but kinda made out like she didn't want to go. She's really nice so she didn't obviously say she didn't want to come but she said "I don't mind not coming

) She's really good looking and all. But now I feel kinda bad because she doesn't know anyone at my school (well thats not true, she knows one person, my friend) and probably doesn't want to come that much (I wouldn't want to go to a ball only knowing one or two people there either). Problem is almost everyone else has a partner already as did I until today :\

I'm feeling pissed off at my former partner and feeling bad aswell

Just a minor problem but I wanted to get it off my chest cause I got to go study for exams. Theres two more days of school before school ends for the year so yeah. Dunno if I should just tell her I already have someone so she doesn't have to come?

 

[Snail]

If she doesn't tell you if she doesn't want to come, it's really her own problem... You don't have to save her. She can tell you herself : ) You can ask her over the phone or something, if you're really worried. Just ask her or don't bother. o.o;;

 

[Ryne]

That sucks. Oh well, at least you'll be out of school soon, so you have something to look forward to.

 

[Sucumbio]

doh! so much for that first girl, geez. I mean what did this new bf suddenly materialize out of thin air, sounds like she could have mentioned this sooner?? ah well, can't live in the past, can ya?

sooooo yeah, I mean, ... it's actually quite admirable you're thinking about how this 2nd girl will feel, and coming from experience it IS important your date -wants- to be there, cause I took a girl who -thought- she wanted to be there and when she realized she didn't ended up having a miserable time which in turn made me pretty miserable.

My suggestion would be to talk to girl # 2. Given your circumstance it's not ... uncalled-for for you to question her true enthusiasm. If she's not really interested, don't ask her to go, simply put. Find someone else ... and if someone else cannot be found (or if they don't find you) then I hate to say it, it was meant for you not to go. I know that last bit doesn't sound great given your circumstance, but that's truly what Fate is, the inevitable playing out of events that always were going to occur. Who knows maybe the whole place gets blown up or something and you're the only one of your class that survives? Meh, bad joke. ^^;

So yeah, tell her the truth, find out the truth about the situation from her, then decide. If she IS down and just kinda nervous, well that's another story. You can help her be at ease. If she's going with you purely out of pity's sake, then nah, better to try finding someone else, or skipping it altogether.

 

[Scidadle]

PUNCH HER IN THE FACE

caps

 

[altairian]

Scrambling for a date is a bad state to be in. What you need to do is figure out why you want to go to this ball. Is it to be with a girl? Is it to be with your friends? Is it just because "everyone else is going"?

I think once you've answered the question of why you want to go, it will become a lot clearer to you what your next step(s) should be. And don't be afraid to go without a date if necessary, you won't be the only one that does.

 

[Jupz]

I want to go because I imagine it will be a lot of fun. Thanks for all the responses btw

I think I'm going to try and find another date. If I can't however I'll talk to her again and see how she feels. Sound good?

 

[Jupz]

someone delete pls accidental double post

 

[Technodeath]

woman troubles eh Jupz?

i didnt go to my ball. cbf going. not worth the money

 

[Hobobloke]

You think you've got it bad Jupz, My ball is in late January and I have no date, though not for lack of trying.

I asked the chick I like ages ago and she said yes. She was friends with another guy who she used to joke on the bus with about going to the ball together and I think he was using her as a backup date anyway he broke up with his GF and told her h was serious abut going to the ball with her so she fel obliged to go with him.

The next girl I asked all was good but we realised we hung out with different groups and would want to go to different, pres/afters so we decided to go with other people.

After that time most people were taken and my options were pretty slim, I had a few girls out of school who would've loved to come with me to the ball but unfortunately they are younger than me (only by a year) and my school doesn't allow anyone you to go with anyone younger.

Now every girl I talk to has got a date and applications for external partners are over so I'm left with the options of going alone or finding someone who I wouldn't necessarily want to go with in other circumstances.

 

[Jupz]

Yeah I'm probably in a better position then you trav thats really unlucky tho

Don't know when we get applications for external partners hopefully we can still get them next year. Cause I don't have one yet.

All my school is going to the same afters I think. But if shes not having fun she could just go home after the ball.

Now you've got me worried my school has closed applications for external partners. I haven't heard anything about them but im screwed if that happens.

Trav just see if they can extend the application closing time.

 

[Hobobloke]

Yeah I'm sure I can work some of the ol' Trav charm on them. I guess I'll just have to really start trying to pick up chicks my age or slightly older, who knows maybe I'll find more than a ball date out of it.

Though between exams and SQUAT I won't have much free time/money, anyone know of good places to meet someone? I can't exactly go to a bar. Rollerdrome has been somewhat successful for me in the past, even though I'm terrible at roller-blading.

 

[Ryne]

I feel bad for you Jupz. Instead of having your date go to your Ball, why dont you go to hers instead?

 

[Cherry64]

Scrambling for a date is a bad state to be in. What you need to do is figure out why you want to go to this ball. Is it to be with a girl? Is it to be with your friends? Is it just because "everyone else is going"?

I think once you've answered the question of why you want to go, it will become a lot clearer to you what your next step(s) should be. And don't be afraid to go without a date if necessary, you won't be the only one that does.

I think you may perhaps be a chick.

Anywho, wouldn't advise going without a date, dancing alone to slow songs isn't just stupid looking, it's also a lot less fun. you can go dancing all you want with your friends or whatnot, but there are bound to be slow song songs.

your main problem is that you don't know what to do, go and make her feel awkward or not go and miss this thing. if you do go, apologize prefusely and try to be as cute as can be (if that's your style). If you charm her while she's there, she won't care if your the only person she knows, just gotta be great with women, make her feel special WITHOUT freaking her out. I can go into more details if needed.

as for the other option, if a few of your friends don't have dates either try n just go play games or watch a movie at someone's house. Actually not totally sure what to do in this situation as you seem to really want to go to this thing, so the option of not going doesn't seem to apply.

Good luck to ya Jupz

 

[Jupz]

Thanks cherry thats some good advice. I've been thinking about it and I'll probably remember it for the rest of my life but its only just one night for her. So I guess I should take her.

Ryne - she already has someone to go to her ball :o

Trav - the beach?

 

[Cherry64]

Ryne, go to the pool, invite a few friends, invite SINGLE friends that are girls, be confident
ACTUAAALLY go somewhere that with show you off the best, if the beach isn't the place then try a different scene, and invite a few girls to do a group hangout sesh to get to know them, then once you can talk comfortablely with them, start opening up, bit by bit, don't start off with "these are my hobbies:-" cause that don't work, just talk and be civil, if she thinks your hot, she'll be interested in you and talk to you more than the others. if you go to a movie with a bunch of peep,s don't try talking to people far away, keep the chatter to 2 peeps away, don't remember the phyche reasons but it helps (if not with the chicks, with the rest of the audience )

np, glad I could help

 

[Hobobloke]

I don't know if that was meant to be directed at me considering I asked for some places to find some girls. Good advice but I'm fine with getting into relationships just need to find some new people (girls). Dunno how I went past beach that's a great place but my physique is not quite proficient enough to pick up many girls at the beach =/

Think I might just find one of the younger girls I know who would want to go and see if they'd mind pretending they're my age.