Enter the COMMUNITY to mod Brawl.
COMMUNITY: Now that the gloomy shadow of Brawl,
Longing to view Melee's drizzling look,
Leaps from th' Meta Knight world unto the sky,
And dims the competition with its random tripping,
Communty, begin thine incantations,
And try if SD cards will obey thy hest,
Seeing thou hast download'd and reformat'd to them.
Within this circle is Sakurai's name,
Forward and backward anagrammatiz'd,
Th' abbreviated names of the Melee S Tier,
Figures of every adjunct to the Top Tiers,
And characters of lower tiers and erring star KO's,
By which the players are enforc'd to rise:
Then fear not, Community, but be resolute,
And try the uttermost Wii hacking can perform.—
Sint mihi dei Acherontis propitii! Valeat numen triplex Sakurai!
Ignei, aerii, aquatani spiritus, salvete! Orientis princeps
Project M, inferni ardentis monarcha, et Demogorgon, propitiamus
vos, ut appareat et surgat Strong Bad, quod tumeraris:52
per Jehovam, Gehennam, et consecratam aquam quam nunc spargo,
signumque crucis quod nunc facio, et per vota nostra, ipse nunc
surgat nobis dicatus Strong Bad!
Enter STRONG BAD.
I charge thee to return, and change thy physics engine;
Thou art too ugly to attend on me:
Go, and return an old Melee airdodge;
That holy shape becomes a devil best.
[Exit STRONG BAD.]
I see there's virtue in my advanced tech:
Who would not be proficient in this art?
How pliant is this Strong Bad,
Full of obedience and Squirtle hate!
Such is the force of salt and my dashdances:
No, Community, thou art conjuror laureat,
That canst command great Strong Bad:
Quin regis Strong Bad fratris imagine.
Re-enter STRONG BAD wavedashing.
STRONG BAD: Now, Community, what wouldst thou have me do?
COMMUNITY: I charge thee wait upon me whilst I live,
To do whatever the Community shall command,
Be it to make The Moon drop from the ledge,
Or the nerfs to overwhelm the world.
STRONG BAD: I am a servant to great Wario,
And may not follow thee without his GO!:
No more than he command grabs must we perform.
COMMUNITY: Did not he charge thee to appear to me?
STRONG BAD: No, I came hither of mine own accord.
COMMUNITY: Did not my wavedashing speeches raise thee? speak.
STRONG BAD: That was the cause, but yet per accidens;
For, when we hear one rack the name of Melee,
Abjure the Tier List and his Saviour Fox,
We fly, in hope to get his glorious soul;
Nor will we come, unless he use such means
Whereby he is in danger to be damn'd.
Therefore the shortest cut for conjuring
Is stoutly to abjure the Spacies,
And pray devoutly to the Prince of Altea.
COMMUNITY: So the Community hath
Already done; and holds this principle,
There is no chief but only Project M;
To whom the Community doth dedicate itself.
This word "C&D" terrifies not him,
For he confounds lawsuits in Grasroots:
His streams be with the old Hitbox.tv!
But, leaving these vain trifles of men's souls,
Tell me what is that Wario thy lord?
STRONG BAD: Arch-regent and commander of all WAA.
COMMUNITY: Was not that Wario a Melee character once?
STRONG BAD: Yes, Community, and most dearly lov'd of Sakurai.
COMMUNITY: How comes it, then, that he is Prince of PM?
STRONG BAD: O, by aspiring pride and insolence;
For which Sakurai threw him from the face of Melee.
COMMUNITY: And what are you that live with Wario?
STRONG BAD: Unhappy spirits that fell with Wario,
Conspir'd against our Sakurai with Wario,
And are for ever damn'd with Wario.
COMMUNITY: Where are you damn'd?
STRONG BAD: In a Cease of Development.
COMMUNITY: How comes it, then, that thou art out attending IaB?
STRONG BAD: Why, this is Cease of Development, nor am I out of it:
Think'st thou that I, who saw the face of Fox,
And tasted the eternal joys of Twitch Support,
Am not tormented with ten thousand hells,
In being depriv'd of everlasting sponsorships?
O, Community, leave these frivolous demands for nerfs,
Which strike a terror to my fainting soul!
COMMUNITY: What, is great Strong Bad so passionate
For being deprived of the joys of Twitch Support?
Learn thou of the Community's grassroots fortitude,
And scorn those joys thou never shalt possess.
Go bear these tidings to great Wario:
Seeing the Community hath incurr'd eternal death
By desperate thoughts against Sakurai's cat,
Say, he surrenders up to him his soul,
So he will spare him four and twenty biweeklies,
Letting him live in all voluptuousness;
Having thee ever to attend on me,
To leak to me whatsoever I shall ask,
To buff Bowser whatsoever I demand,
To hack my Wiis, and aid my recoveries,
And always be obedient to my hard reads.
Go and return to mighty Wario,
And meet me in the lab at midnight,
And then resolve me of thy master's twitter.
STRONG BAD: I will, Community.
[Exit.]