PMDT please fix Project M. Project M was once great, and it can become great again, but it's not great right now.
You have all these developers and debuggers crossing over from the internet. They are not sending their best people. They are sending people with a lot of johns and salt, and they're bringing that salt here. They are bringing bad theory-craft, they are bringing Nintendo Lawsuits. They are hackers, nerfers, and criminals. AND SOME, I assume, are good people. But we need to build a great firewall around the PMDT and stop these bad guys from crossing in.
I'll build a fabulous wall. I'm a a builder, I'd build the greatest, most classy firewall out there. The iOS it will run on would make Steve Jobs wish he was as smart and capable and rich as me. I'd have it monitored 24/7 and do what Warchamp should have done a long time ago! He's giving away positions to China, to Mexico, to Japan. I'll be so tough on Dev team position negotiations, I'll make them pay for every spot they fill up. $100,000 for every one they try to take.
Strong Bad and others in this administration have had their chance. Nobody can do their job, it's unbelievable. Our PM Personal Relations suck, we keep losing players to Smash 4, I know how to make deals ok? I wrote the book Art of the Deal (TM), I've made deals with all sorts of people. This one Chinese gentlemen just recently bought Smashboards from me. The Asians love me! I got tens of thousands of Mexican Debuggers who have worked for me over the years, the Hispanics love me! I'm winning in all the polls, when asked about the threat of Nerfs I was voted #1 to stop it. They voted me #1 on fixing the applications, #1 on not adding in crap new characters, I'm leading in everything!
Everyone, I am asking for your support to elect me as Head of PMDT so that I can Make Project M Great Again.
Yours Truly,
Donald Ledge Trump