Online Tribulations: My testimony

[Nelo Vergil]

Link to original post: [drupal=1408]Online Tribulations: My testimony[/drupal]



Last time everyone saw me, was a few days ago, in my farewell blog, however it got nasty, words were exchanged.Since the 1st, Ive been consumed by guilt, sadness, rage, etc;.Thats why Im manning up. Before anything, I wanna address a few comments.1st, it was done for sympathy. No it wasnt, I did it for a few reasons Ill explain soon, 2nd, the half assedness of it, thats simple, my real long shoutout version wouldnt post for some reason
-_-. Lastly, Im a conniving ****ed up liar...that hurt, but I no way deserved that, yes I made an awful mistake, yes it went to far, but I never EVER manipulated anyone, especially to hurt someone else, I was a liar yes, but also a good friend, that my heart knows.

As for the blog, the reason I wanted to leave was for my Dad, soon hell be struggling, paying for a home with no money, working himself to death.I wanted to leave to help him full time...or so I thought...but actually, I used it as justifaction to run away, I realized I left out of fear, of persucation, of losing so much, out of insecurity.I will not run tho, I shall stay and resume my normal life.I still want to be your friends, but dont expect me to be close, Ill be a friend, nothing less, nothing more.As for all those judgers and flamers, keep it up if you want, but I dont care if im hated and distrusted anymore.While you continue to attack my PAST sins, Ill be enjoying life happily NOW, I am proud of who I am now, and I wont be told otherwise, I know in my heart that about ME, IM right.

 

[Chaco]

Well, I still don't even know if your lying about that.

But no more alt accounts, btw.

 

[Zero X Unit]

All that matters is that you're happy about your current self and all o.o *Thumbs up*

 

[Nelo Vergil]

I know its really hard to trust me, its my fault, but my words are honest...u mean Fate btw..funny story, hes my rl friend, I just borrowed his account for a smidge...now hes pissed I got him banned XD, his names Cam, he onlyjoined this site to finally beat me

 

[Chaco]

Mmkay, well, I'll double check the IPs then.

 

[ƸArcher¤AngelusƷ]

what really matters is that your happy for who u are and never give in to what others say just keep moving along ^_^ *hugs*

 

[Nelo Vergil]

Thanks, btw for the record, Cam basically only used the char. boards (Marth, Link) I was basically everything else, so sorry for that to, but it was kinda fun XD....anyway sowwyz v-v.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand

 

[momochuu]

I know its really hard to trust me, its my fault, but my words are honest...u mean Fate btw..funny story, hes my rl friend, I just borrowed his account for a smidge...now hes pissed I got him banned XD, his names Cam, he onlyjoined this site to finally beat me

He joined the day you left? >_>

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

I can't make any long replies tonight. I was just heading out when I saw this.
edit didn't make it so it's down below.

 

[Heartz♥]

Very well. I will spit flames at you no longer, however, there is much faulty that has been sighted in your words. To begin, the fact of Fate being your comrade in reality is merely a fallacy, for he has joined the day that you "left", as Karina stated. It is unlikely that those events could have taken place in such a short time.

Continuing, your statement of no longer wishing to be close to those you meet. You are sharing much of what is going on in your world outside of the interweb. I do believe this is a method of being "close". These are personal issues that must be kept within you, because you are only exposing yourself.

You can believe in yourself all you wish, and that is good. That is all it takes to survive in this world, is it not? But you cannot justify the times that you have outbursted and insulted us. There was no reason for that. So what if we were hard on you? You've already admitted your wrongs, and we were only giving a little "constructive feedback", but you took it like a child. You weren't changing like you thought you were, you still wanted to be the center of attention. But frankly, you are taking this much harder than you need to. This is just the internet after all.

If you are looking for a path to correct yourself, making a "public" blog is not that path. There is no need to bring other people into this. It is a quarrel between the members of NeW and YOU. So please, enough of these blogs. You are only making yourself look like a fool. There is no question as to why you are ridiculed. If you are going to "man up" the right way, it is to take the direct approach. If you are ignored by one person, move to the next. I wont blame them, though. You arent a bad person, you just need to get some priorities straight. I dont care if you dont want to hear what I have to say. Things got like this because I left in the first place, but it isnt my fault, and that's a fact.

There is no good guy, bad guy in this. Don't try to justify all your actions. You need to make a decision and stop trying to gain the attention you do not need.

 

[bobson]

You're the one who made that public apology thread where I said "I have no idea who you are, but apology accepted," right?

Well, I still have no idea who you are.

 

[Teran]

Lying to your friends is like spitting in their face and kicking them below the belt.
Since I don't really know you though, I won't make any judgments about what you've done.
One thing I will say though, I believe I retain the right to cross examination of this testimony at any time.

*ahem* Come now OTL quit glaring...

 

[Super_Sonic8677]

Adam, you came back. After what happened, I didn't reallly think that I would see you here again. I'm glad that you did and I hope you stay and take responsibility for the actions that you've done.

Even if you don't see yourself as manipulative, it's part of the package when you lie about things to make yourself look like something you're not. Even if it's not totally intentional manipulation, it is nevertheless...And though you never intended to hurt someone, you did just that by making up a life that messed up your friends feelings and emotions, then showed them it wasn't even real. Though in my mind, you're "need" to have done it is much sadder than all of that...

I've seen alot of hate and resentment towards you and that's not going to go away, probably not for a long time. Maybe not ever for some. It's a part of living with your mistakes. Because even though you apologized and then came back, it doesn't make it "all better". But I respect you for coming clean with the situation, if you really have. What's this alt account business about?

I can't be angry you with because I look at your faults and problems and see a bit of my own faults and my own problems in them.

Kasey is right though, this should have been private. What is there in bringing the interwebz into this? You've only made a fool of yourself and made it even harder to start again.

Whatever happens, you have a long road ahead of you. The trust is gone, but if you're as changed as you say you are, then it's time to start over. I've already forgiven you. But you've got to be true about yourself from now on ^^

 

[Luso]

Adam, just come to the chat and explain all of this to us or on IM or something. That's why members like bobson or Teran have no idea what's going on because they haven't known you like we do. And we're the people you're referring to. So, just keep it between us and you.

Aside from that, please, don't make any more facades or lies. Seriously, all of these lies keep piling up and are working against your credibility. I'm not even sure if this blog you've written is true or not, but if it is true, then just come to the chat and talk to us. Ask one us to send you a link through PM or something and that'll be settled. I'm still your friend, btw, but don't just say what you want to change, "do" the change. Make yourself into a different person. Try and a take a change like *sorry for the Tales reference* Luke did in TotA; though he be fictitious, he sets a good example for the time of person you should be from start to finish in the end of all this.

 

[PhoenixoKaZe]

Regardless if u speak truth or lie, I`ll will still be ur friend. I remember making a sob blog before and ppl just turned me down (ppl who don`t kno me lulz) Anyways like luso said, come back to the chat or aim me XD. I would love to listen to watever u want to tell me lol

 

[Nelo Vergil]

Thanks really, but I have no desires for the sedimental bonding, I suppose I may lighten up, but I seek a professional spot light, not a personal one.

As for your little theory Bun, its true it makes me look suspicious of the accounts origins, but I merely enlightened him to the site when I left so he wouldnt see my online dealings and I wouldnt be ripped on. Of course you have no proof, so thats as far as the matter goes, thanks for playing, please take the consolation gift.

I suppose making it public was not a good choice, but its to much bother to go door to door givings flyers when you can just get an ad in the paper.

At the time, my reaction was justified. "The shock of being betrayed and insulted made me fight back", of course even if the truth was that, it really doesnt matter anymore does it, of course like I said, once I lighten up from all this crap and drama happening at once, maybe Ill re-chill out.

 

[Luso]

Thanks really, but I have no desires for the sedimental bonding, I suppose I may lighten up, but I seek a professional spot light, not a personal one.

As for your little theory Bun, its true it makes me look suspicious of the accounts origins, but I merely enlightened him to the site when I left so he wouldnt see my online dealings and I wouldnt be ripped on. Of course you have no proof, so thats as far as the matter goes, thanks for playing, please take the consolation gift.

I suppose making it public was not a good choice, but its to much bother to go door to door givings flyers when you can just get an ad in the paper.

At the time, my reaction was justified. "The shock of being betrayed and insulted made me fight back", of course even if the truth was that, it really doesnt matter anymore does it, of course like I said, once I lighten up from all this crap and drama happening at once, maybe Ill re-chill out.

Again, no disrespect, but I find the tone of your response a little bit in opposition to the true purpose of this thread. Aside from that, we have no proof that your "friend" is indeed someone who joined on the same day you did; you said yourself that you're a "conniving liar," so you aren't the perfect angel here, either. And yes, we "betrayed" you? If it was justified because you lied and deceived your friends, then that was our reaction to your actions and I believe that you deserved it. You have so many personas that I don't even know how sane you are yourself if you think yourself to lowly. Stop bringing yourself down and resolve your conflicts face-to-face.

If you're going to lighten up and chill-out, I suggest you STOP writing these blogs; they're only causing you even more misery than you should need anyway. Your responses on all 3 blogs have been mostly negative, so I don't know how writing this blog can help you in anyway if you don't accept constructive feedback in a fairly positive manner. Otherwise, write the "blog" and have it closed without anyone answering. Oh wait, that would defeat the purpose of writing the blog, wouldn't it...?

 

[GFE]

You apologize, but when the people respond to you, you go all defensive and then attack.

You do not want to be more than a "friend" but youre not even apologizing or approaching the right way.


Be glad i Wrote this cause i barely do stuff like this.