notsuchabadguy
Smash Apprentice
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2016
- Messages
- 78
Kept you waiting, huh?
Well I say, screw that! What do you think this is, a strategy game? No, today we're here to talk about the real deal: the Emblemboards team has spent years discussing, arguing, carefully refining and objectively analyzing the facts to finally answer the question that's plagued the Fire Emblem fandom for years - nay, DECADES!
Who is best girl?
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"Ew, no" Tier
There's no good excuse for having Lucina as your waifu.
The living personification of pointlessness. Do I even need to elaborate? Bland, whiny and generally unlikeable, her most positive aspect is that she's self conscious enough to wear a mask so that she can hide the shame of being the (from a completely objective standpoint) worst girl. The most positive thing we can say about her is that, if you close your eyes and try really really hard, you can at least kind of pretend she's Marth; but deep down, you'll know you're lying to yourself, and the pain of understanding you've settled for a cheap knockoff will only make you feel dead inside."Ew, no" Tier
There's no good excuse for having Lucina as your waifu.
"At least it's not Lucina" Tier
Although many people could find her borderline-stalkerish attitude and controlling tendencies slightly upsetting, Tharja has managed to win the heart of gamers the world over. With an unhealthy obsession comes an undying loyalty, which means that if you're the jealous type, you at least never have to worry about her cheating on you. She's also a powerful magic user, which means your enemies can be dispatched with as little as a wave of her hand. That said, she does seem like she has some terrible eating habits - so you better be ready to be the chef of the relationship.
"Forbidden Love" Tier
Gentle, and caring to a fault, Camilla is the type of woman to go to if you're into the sisterly type (you sick *******). Also the perfect waifu for someone too irresponsible to properly look after themselves, which, lets be honest, is most of us: need someone to plan your family vacation? Camilla has it under control. Can't properly take care of your pets? Camilla has you covered. Are you a terrible parent? Camilla isn't. Generally a good choice for the lazy slob that would actually read this article.
"Now we're talking" Tier
Imagine having to tie up that ponytail every morning.
About as good as waifus get, Lyndis seems like an all around actually good person. She's generally kind to anyone that hasn't wronged her and undyingly loyal to her friends, but on the flip side is also a proud warrior who won't hesitate to charge into combat if her honor or that of her loved ones is challenged (so she'll fight for you, which is nice). The biggest downside that can be assigned to her is that she'll probably ask you to kill a bandit at some point in your relationship, which I mean, if you're into that...
Imagine having to tie up that ponytail every morning.
"I am suddenly overwhelmed with a profound need to perform lewd acts just by looking at them" Tier
The face of a man you can trust.
There is no debate; although the other candidates are nice, no one could ever even hold a candle to the hero king. Not only does he have excellent manners, as royalty should, he also fights for the noble cause of his people and his kingdom. His sword technique is masterful, making him a force to be reckoned with both in the Fire Emblem and Smash series, and he really pulls off the cape, which is super hard to do. I'm sure you're waiting for me to list downsides, but there honestly aren't any - why wouldn't you want to be in a relationship with this man?
The face of a man you can trust.
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Through the history of humanity, we as a species have always looked to the stars and asked ourselves the great questions about our place in the universe. Who are we? Why are we here? Were we created by chance, or is this all part of a greater plan? Who should I S-support with? Today, in Emblemboards, we're proud to say we've answered at least a few of those questions.
I'd like to thank my collaborator Diosdi for the great amount of vital empirical research he did for this article: this couldn't have been possible without him. I'd also like to thank my mom, for keeping me supplied with Cheeto bags during the five months it took me to complete writing this.
Thank you for reading. Please leave a comment down bellow saying what you thought of the tierlist! Who is your favorite waifu? Why is it Marth? What's your favorite type of Cheeto? Have a nice day!
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? Have some mercy, she is already "Ew, no" Tier in Smash 4 
