IYO-Who's the Douche?

[MLEsis]

*I AM FEMALE; not a gay man.*
So, I recently started playing smash(mostly brawl) and I recently moved to Alabama. I was introduced to SSB by my two younger brothers and began to play casually. Eventually, we found some players in our area and started holding weeklys then began hosting tournaments.

I met some great people/players and was feeling like maybe moving from NC down here to Al wasnt so bad. Most of the people i met, i met through my bros, however, i started considering some of them my friends as well.

We gamed, enjoyed anime, busted jokes,etc. All the things that reg friends do...rt?

But there was this one guy, he's almost 5 yrs younger than me, who was a usual at my place. He's shy and really funny, just my type. After about 2 months STRAIGHT of staying the entire weekend at my house, I got to know him and realized that I wanted to start chillin with him.

Ok, here's where the dilema comes in--he was my brother's friend first. I have three bros and know all to well of the 'Bro Code.' I had planned to abide by it and keep things cool.

Until a new smasher came to my place and expressed his interest in me. I didn't want to pursue anything with him until i was sure there wasn't anything bt me and guy1. So, that night, I asked g1 if there were a chance of more than being 'just friends.'
Intially, he was like, 'No; it's against the bro code.' somehow though, we ended up 'hanging out' later that night.

So, being one who doesn't string men along or double up for that matter, I let g2 know that I wasn't ready for a relationship rt now...yeah, never saw him again, btw-sorry Guy 2.
The next day everything was cool bt me and g1, we had planned to keep things on the DL. you know, play it like nothing happened while in the presence of my bros--this was actually really what i wanted. IMO, I am great at playing things off, all those years of lying to parents made me a great actress, lol.

G1 started acting shady the following weekend...distancing himself. I felt like i was treating him the EXACT way I had before, and just like i was treating everyone else. I thought i made it clear that we can be just friends and that i didnt want to come bt he and my bros friendship, sent in a pm. He came to my tournament and was great; no awkwardness whatsoever. Now, he's stopped coming over and is beginning to leave my bro hanging.

Yeah, I'm the douche who 'hung out' with him. I broke the bro code, but i was willing to put everything that happened behind me and pretend like nothing ever happened. Now, ive lost a friend, possibly made my bro loose a friend, and bc g1 said 'yes' lost my chance w g2.
IMO, we should share the blame, but...he is a guy. Does the double standard dictate that i am completely at fault?

How can i mend this? Can I? Or, is he just a douche not to be reconciled with?

edit: mod--if this falls under the 'relationships' category of controversial convos, feel free to remove. thought it would be ok, though.

 

[UberMario]

Sounds like Guy #2 only wanted to know you in a romantic way, not as a friend, and so he left after you declined, but it seems like he also may have grown jealous and told Guy #1 something to intentionally put a rift in your friendships, believing that #1 was your bf or something to that level, upsetting Guy #1 to the point where he wanted nothing to do with you.

 

[MLEsis]

wow, that's hard to follow...guy1, guy2...
idk, guy 2 seemed really geniune. He still asked for my phone # after i told him i wasnt really ready.

as for guy1-i cant think of anything that he couldve been told. im starting to think maybe he's just really young and not able to fathom the idea of a friendship after youve seen that there isnt hope for a relationship, or even want, on my side. i feel so bad bc i dont want to kill my bros friendship.


DONT BREAK THE BRO CODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Colonel Cuddles]

Wait, are you a dude, and are you gay? And anyways, I'm ALWAYS the douche! Out of those guys, I can't tell who it is.

 

[Grandeza]

I tried to follow this but really couldn't. Maybe I'm stupid ?_?

 

[MLEsis]

I"M A GIRL...mleSIS! SIS=GIRL.
what i'm really tryin to get at is this...

am i the douche for breaking the bro code and 'hanging' out w my lil bros friend? is he the douche for equally having part in the situation?
or
is he the douche for not being able to get over this and stay friends?
does the bro code apply to me though i am a girl? id say it does, but...does me wanting to move on and act like nothing happened make me even more a douche?

i put this thread in the pool room bc i want honest opinions and would like to touch on segments of the 'bro code,' spark some convos on it. also, seems to be more adults here...btw, im 23.

 

[eighteenspikes]

Grandeza: She expressed romantic interest in one of her brother's friends, rejecting a less socially complicated suitor in the process.

Your brother's friend probably just found it awkward. I've had some friends with some REALLY HOT SISTERS but god**** if I would ever even think about dating one of them. It's not like "bro code" (not even really sure what this means..), that's just weird

 

[MLEsis]

bro code is like rules you follow when youre friends w someone(guys). like--(in no order)
1dont sleep with/date your friends(brah) sister.
2dont trash brahs
3dont watch something w someone else that you and fellow brah both want to see.ie new anime, new game shiz.
etc.

18spikes-we arent dating; i never wanted a full blown relationship...idk what i wanted but at that moment it was hard to resist.
and im NOT hot, just ordinary w/ extraordinary habits.

 

[eighteenspikes]

and im NOT hot,

ok your brothers friend is the douche

 

[MLEsis]

gud one...2 points for 18 spikes.
no, you know what, 3 points!

 

[Mota]

You're a girl, bro code doesn't apply to you. XD Also while I was reading, I thought you were a homosexual male until I read the word 'actress'.

I don't really see anything wrong with what you did. You had an interest in someone and decided to pursue a 'more then friends' relationship. Although with him being 5 years younger makes me curious about how old you two were.

Guy1 probs felt awkward and uncomfortable. Things just aren't the same, like when two people break up and decide to stay friends but not really, of course your predicament is too a lesser degree.

You could contact him once more or leave it be, if he wants to hang with your bro he'll do so.
You're both 'douche'

 

[MLEsis]

mota--im 23, hes 18. concenting adults in my book, and the fed govt.

i think i will contact him. something like- let's start over, you-my bros friend, me-your brahs sister, that's it.


idk...what shud i write?

edited opener; just bc i game doesnt automatically mean im a dude, but i understand the stereotype. i forgive you swf, teeheehee<3

 

[soju]

Screw the bro code, all I'll say is if you truly like someone go out there and get them, if they don't like you back well at least you guys can be friends, but don't expect it to be the same for quite some time. If anything it's Guy 1 fault for avoiding you since emotions are well. . . emotions. But I guess I would start small to get the relationship back to "bro" status, so just like invite him over or ask him if he wants to hang out somewhere with you and your brothers.

Oh and I thought you were a guy the first time I read this too XDD

 

[Mota]

If you're really the reason why he's distancing himself, you contacting him again could make things worse imo.

Get your bros to ask him to hang out. You could plant the idea by
To your bro: "Wassup broda!? Whateva happened to whatshisface? Get him round for the next Smash tourney, and hang out in general yo."

Yea I'm bored.

 

[MLEsis]

mota-->so far i like what you have to say bout things. i find when youre the most bored is when you have the best epiphanies.
: )

 

[Namaste]

you are twenty two and you're asking this question in this manner on a video game forum?

 

[Pikaville]

No one is a douche except the guy who is ignoring you.

 

[MLEsis]

pikaville--youre too sweet; really? just him? lol
<--wishing youd pull my hair...

you are twenty two and you're asking this question in this manner on a video game forum?

this video game forum is not simply for video games...besides this is actually game related.that was our common interest.
and i turned 23 on 3-30.

i think im gonna play by what mota said...

 

[Mota]

I've stopped seeing this place as a game forum long ago, the other sub forums are more fun.

i think im gonna play by what mota said...

Good luck. >_<

wishing youd pull my hair...

I recall you posting this a while ago, makes me laugh. Guys like it too.

 

[Fuelbi]

IMO, this is pretty ********.


The bro code is something that TV made up to make themselves look like they've invented something worthwhile.


Like hell you should care if your brother is friends with a guy, I've never found that any reason to not to be friends with someone.


So in conclusion, the bro code is ********. I mean I'm not even talking about the rules. It's the fact that the name is BRO CODE

 

[Mota]

Haha yea, the Bro Code is pretty iffy seeing as 'bros' don't actually know what the code is.

I've been meaning to read Barney Stinsons -Bro Code- book. Quite humorous.

 

[LKR20]

*I AM FEMALE; not a gay man.*
So, I recently started playing smash(mostly brawl) and I recently moved to Alabama. I was introduced to SSB by my two younger brothers and began to play casually. Eventually, we found some players in our area and started holding weeklys then began hosting tournaments.

I met some great people/players and was feeling like maybe moving from NC down here to Al wasnt so bad. Most of the people i met, i met through my bros, however, i started considering some of them my friends as well.

We gamed, enjoyed anime, busted jokes,etc. All the things that reg friends do...rt?

But there was this one guy, he's almost 5 yrs younger than me, who was a usual at my place. He's shy and really funny, just my type. After about 2 months STRAIGHT of staying the entire weekend at my house, I got to know him and realized that I wanted to start chillin with him.

Ok, here's where the dilema comes in--he was my brother's friend first. I have three bros and know all to well of the 'Bro Code.' I had planned to abide by it and keep things cool.

Until a new smasher came to my place and expressed his interest in me. I didn't want to pursue anything with him until i was sure there wasn't anything bt me and guy1. So, that night, I asked g1 if there were a chance of more than being 'just friends.'
Intially, he was like, 'No; it's against the bro code.' somehow though, we ended up 'hanging out' later that night.

So, being one who doesn't string men along or double up for that matter, I let g2 know that I wasn't ready for a relationship rt now...yeah, never saw him again, btw-sorry Guy 2.
The next day everything was cool bt me and g1, we had planned to keep things on the DL. you know, play it like nothing happened while in the presence of my bros--this was actually really what i wanted. IMO, I am great at playing things off, all those years of lying to parents made me a great actress, lol.

G1 started acting shady the following weekend...distancing himself. I felt like i was treating him the EXACT way I had before, and just like i was treating everyone else. I thought i made it clear that we can be just friends and that i didnt want to come bt he and my bros friendship, sent in a pm. He came to my tournament and was great; no awkwardness whatsoever. Now, he's stopped coming over and is beginning to leave my bro hanging.

Yeah, I'm the douche who 'hung out' with him. I broke the bro code, but i was willing to put everything that happened behind me and pretend like nothing ever happened. Now, ive lost a friend, possibly made my bro loose a friend, and bc g1 said 'yes' lost my chance w g2.
IMO, we should share the blame, but...he is a guy. Does the double standard dictate that i am completely at fault?

How can i mend this? Can I? Or, is he just a douche not to be reconciled with?

edit: mod--if this falls under the 'relationships' category of controversial convos, feel free to remove. thought it would be ok, though.

And then brawl became a soap opera on abc.

 

[DippnDots]

"You don't wanna meet a chick boyfriend in a bar smashfest man girl, seriously, that was a major turning point in my life as well. I realized that you gotta go to other places, you gotta go to yoga class, to a farmers market, pumpkin patch.. given the time of the year. Just somewhere social, non-threatening. You know, something like that."