So I have a friend that is having what could be a problem with his releationship. They have been dating for a little over 2.5 years. Before he reacts he wants to get an opinion....I've already told him what I think..but he wants more opinions......Here is what is going on from what he sees…
1. His girl recently started chatting with some guys online within the past couple month
2. Within that couple months, they have been having a little more disagreements.
3. His girlfriend won’t let him see the im conversations when he leans in to kiss her…she minimizes the conversations every time.
4. He read one conversation because she was signed in on his computer, it seemed a little disconcerting with talks about physical touching that’s non sexual but sensual manner.
5. His girlfriend has been acting distant lately.
6. His girlfriend wants to take vacations this summer near the area that these people she is talking to live.
7.(I was there for this one....he never raised his voice...and she yelled at him) He told her that he was a little jealous, and just wanted some re-assurance because of everything going on…He told her what he thought and how he felt...He never said he didn't trust her....But he wanted some reassurance that he was the one she loved....She wouldn’t give any reassurance, but instead turned the situation on him he should never be jealous, and that he should trust her and that he is in the wrong for bringing it up…..
My question is, is he in the wrong? Or are these symptoms of something else going on…
To answer the first response....We all are low 20's. (20, 21, and 22)
Well I've talked with the girl...and here is what she said...
1. She talks to these guys because they are funny
2. She is acting distant because she is trying to "teach" him a lesson because sometimes he acts distant. (he plays smash and brawl also). I asked her why she would do such a chilish thing, she blew me off.
3. they are still having a hard time. She went to her moms and won't talk with him. She keeps saying they need to talk, but when he says, ok lets talk, she avoids him.
4. She avoids MY calls now.
5. He tells me he wants to talk so he can work things out. He really does love her, and will try anything to work things out. He tells her all the time. He admits to every one of his mistakes, but she never does.
6. With the trust thing, she thinks she is doing nothing wrong, and that he is over reacting.
We had a long talk the other night and here is what I've gotten from our conversations :
1. . He can be a ******* sometimes. When she says something stupid, he calls her on it...sometimes nicely but sometimes in a rude way. He never yells or calls her stupid, its the way he words things.
2. He goes to work and school ALL day, he is gone on average prob 9 hours a day. and sometimes this carries over into the weekend. this does not include homework.
3. She doesn't work or go to school at all. She wants to but her degree is not offered at our local college.
4. She feels she is wrong all the time with things. He makes her feel this way. Thinigs I've notices with this are that she IS wrong most of the time, but he handles this in wrong way sometimes Sometimes she is wrong, everyone tells her she is wrong, but always has excuses why our opinions don't matter.
5. She wishes he would do more around the house. IT is about an 700 sq. FT apartment, he takes out the trash and helps with responsibilities a little bit Like feeding and watering, and occasionally taking them out to pee. (pets)
6.(in accordance of doing things around the house) I never see him eat at home. and he says he doesn't. He is trying to keep his motabilism at a good rate so he doesn't eat after 7pm. If he does eat at home ever, its a pop tart with one plate or something. She always cooks full meals and uses 3 pans and we all eat except him. He has already ate. (this is becausee its uaually 10pm when she cooks)
7. he is graduating colledge this year, and will work for an international company.
8. Is GF dropped out of college after the first year due to medical discharge (she got sick). Hasn't been back for a year, then this past year for other valid reasons she hasn't gone to school .
9. .Sometimes he does play games too much. He can play and ignore her sometimes. he admits this openly and is wiliing to break his favorite game for his relation ship.
I've re entered at the top also.
What should he do? She is basically going to break up with them. should he keep trying, give up? Should he make her life hell afterwards or should he just let her be and let her get her way with everything (house stuff).
what should I do? should I expose these people and say who they really are? I could taint names, but after reading what you guys said, i would taint hers and not his. They all have close friends, and most of them are siding with him. The only ones siding with her are her family and her closest friend (can't blame them). Should I enlighten her family to his side of the story, (all of our friends know BOTH sides of the story). Or would that be stirring the pot too much. Should I completely stay out of this?
1. His girl recently started chatting with some guys online within the past couple month
2. Within that couple months, they have been having a little more disagreements.
3. His girlfriend won’t let him see the im conversations when he leans in to kiss her…she minimizes the conversations every time.
4. He read one conversation because she was signed in on his computer, it seemed a little disconcerting with talks about physical touching that’s non sexual but sensual manner.
5. His girlfriend has been acting distant lately.
6. His girlfriend wants to take vacations this summer near the area that these people she is talking to live.
7.(I was there for this one....he never raised his voice...and she yelled at him) He told her that he was a little jealous, and just wanted some re-assurance because of everything going on…He told her what he thought and how he felt...He never said he didn't trust her....But he wanted some reassurance that he was the one she loved....She wouldn’t give any reassurance, but instead turned the situation on him he should never be jealous, and that he should trust her and that he is in the wrong for bringing it up…..
My question is, is he in the wrong? Or are these symptoms of something else going on…
To answer the first response....We all are low 20's. (20, 21, and 22)
Well I've talked with the girl...and here is what she said...
1. She talks to these guys because they are funny
2. She is acting distant because she is trying to "teach" him a lesson because sometimes he acts distant. (he plays smash and brawl also). I asked her why she would do such a chilish thing, she blew me off.
3. they are still having a hard time. She went to her moms and won't talk with him. She keeps saying they need to talk, but when he says, ok lets talk, she avoids him.
4. She avoids MY calls now.
5. He tells me he wants to talk so he can work things out. He really does love her, and will try anything to work things out. He tells her all the time. He admits to every one of his mistakes, but she never does.
6. With the trust thing, she thinks she is doing nothing wrong, and that he is over reacting.
We had a long talk the other night and here is what I've gotten from our conversations :
1. . He can be a ******* sometimes. When she says something stupid, he calls her on it...sometimes nicely but sometimes in a rude way. He never yells or calls her stupid, its the way he words things.
2. He goes to work and school ALL day, he is gone on average prob 9 hours a day. and sometimes this carries over into the weekend. this does not include homework.
3. She doesn't work or go to school at all. She wants to but her degree is not offered at our local college.
4. She feels she is wrong all the time with things. He makes her feel this way. Thinigs I've notices with this are that she IS wrong most of the time, but he handles this in wrong way sometimes Sometimes she is wrong, everyone tells her she is wrong, but always has excuses why our opinions don't matter.
5. She wishes he would do more around the house. IT is about an 700 sq. FT apartment, he takes out the trash and helps with responsibilities a little bit Like feeding and watering, and occasionally taking them out to pee. (pets)
6.(in accordance of doing things around the house) I never see him eat at home. and he says he doesn't. He is trying to keep his motabilism at a good rate so he doesn't eat after 7pm. If he does eat at home ever, its a pop tart with one plate or something. She always cooks full meals and uses 3 pans and we all eat except him. He has already ate. (this is becausee its uaually 10pm when she cooks)
7. he is graduating colledge this year, and will work for an international company.
8. Is GF dropped out of college after the first year due to medical discharge (she got sick). Hasn't been back for a year, then this past year for other valid reasons she hasn't gone to school .
9. .Sometimes he does play games too much. He can play and ignore her sometimes. he admits this openly and is wiliing to break his favorite game for his relation ship.
I've re entered at the top also.
What should he do? She is basically going to break up with them. should he keep trying, give up? Should he make her life hell afterwards or should he just let her be and let her get her way with everything (house stuff).
what should I do? should I expose these people and say who they really are? I could taint names, but after reading what you guys said, i would taint hers and not his. They all have close friends, and most of them are siding with him. The only ones siding with her are her family and her closest friend (can't blame them). Should I enlighten her family to his side of the story, (all of our friends know BOTH sides of the story). Or would that be stirring the pot too much. Should I completely stay out of this?
