ITT: We John

[OneWing_Angel]

The other day I made Johns about my hands being cold and that my grandma died. What you guys got? : )

 

[Deleted member 189823]

Cold hands is completely understandable, especially in Melee. But about your grandma dying...? Why are you even playing Smash Bros at that time? xd

I don't make Johns anymore. Not as much as I used to, anyway.

 

[Yung Mei]

Dude, i was totally going to 4 stock you, but the rain outside was distracting me

 

[Get Low]

I'm famous for greasy hand johns.
Whenever I go to a Smashfest and we order pizza,
I'm already calling the greasy hand johns while I'm eating.

 

[Avalancer]

Lol, greasy/cold/sweaty hands are probably the most legit johns out there.

 

[Jockmaster]

sandbag john is the ultimate john

along with "this aint my main"

 

[Habefiet]

Pretty sure Beat's whole, "I lost to Tomber (spelling?) because if I got to Grand Finals Leffen and I were going to Marth ditto but Marth can't win nationals so the magical space force field that was no longer stoppable once Ken retired made me lose to Tomber to prevent Marth from winning a national" spiel will go down in history as one of the greatest johns ever johned.

One time I had just gotten hospitalized the day before with a sudden illness, so I was all ready to john to my usual hometown practicing pals about why I was sucking it up, but I actually performed above my norm. It was weird.

 

[Yung Mei]

did someone say Ultimate John?

remembered this suddenly

 

[Jace08]

I was playing kels in pools at this tourney once, and the sun was literally in my eyes lol. We caught it pretty early though and I think we closed the window blinds

 

[rawrimamonster]

only johns I make is controller johns, mines about 6 years old and I cant afford the spare scratch to replace the damn thing. I'm really bottom of the barrel poor, havent bought vidya games for myself in about 5 years.

 

[Beat!]

Tomber (spelling?)

Cor rect.

 

[mesa23]

i was playing with my eyes closed

 

[Jolteon]

Pretty sure Beat's whole, "I lost to Tomber (spelling?) because if I got to Grand Finals Leffen and I were going to Marth ditto but Marth can't win nationals so the magical space force field that was no longer stoppable once Ken retired made me lose to Tomber to prevent Marth from winning a national" spiel will go down in history as one of the greatest johns ever johned.

One time I had just gotten hospitalized the day before with a sudden illness, so I was all ready to john to my usual hometown practicing pals about why I was sucking it up, but I actually performed above my norm. It was weird.

Dude, magical force field johns are totally legit. Marth can't win nationals for a reason.

 

[Bones0]

I would have won, but I was distracted by that barlw combo.

 

[Strong Badam]

impossible johns aren't very good, bones.

 

[TheCrimsonBlur]

The most legitimate johns I have ever had was when I just had knee surgery (literally the day before) and was high on pain meds.

Needless to say, I could barely play. If I fidgeted even a little, my knee would give me a sharp pain. I had to twist my torso just to see the TV, and my ice/cooling cast was so large that I had to hold my controller up at my chest. Also, my brain was goo from meds and I wanted to die.

But...I was laying around doing nothing and really wanted to smash. So it was worth it lol

 

[Biglard]

"My teammate was a CPU"

 

[Fregadero]

I forgot trying was turned on

 

[Cummings]

Cold/sweaty/greasy hands johns are the only ones that count to me haha

but i did donate blood once and then immediately drove to a tourney (got there around 2)

"I'm about to pass out" johns were used often haha

 

[RaphaelRobo]

After losing to Dr. Peepee in multiple Kirby dittos, I johned about him being a better player than me. Does that count?

 

[Rainbow]

After losing to Dr. Peepee in multiple Kirby dittos, I johned about him being a better player than me. Does that count?

Yeah, the "he was better than me" is the only legitimate john there is.


Though personally my favorite is "the cat/dog jumped on me".

 

[Avalancer]

I was playing kels in pools at this tourney once, and the sun was literally in my eyes lol. We caught it pretty early though and I think we closed the window blinds

Whoa, the sun was LITERALLY in your eyes? Holy ****, that's lethal.

 

[Grape Ape]

Yeah, the "he was better than me" is the only legitimate john there is.


Though personally my favorite is "the cat/dog jumped on me".

I had my cat jump on me with a dead nearly headless chipmunk once. Johns were had.

 

[Fregadero]

"I don't even remember those matches"

 

[Bing]

My usual John is my controller John, which is generally legit because I've been having massive controller issues lately.

My John for Impulse was that I was exhausted from running the tournament and setting up and all that stuff. -_-

 

[Jace08]

Whoa, the sun was LITERALLY in your eyes? Holy ****, that's lethal.

I knew someone out there would demand the correct use of "literally." When I'm talking about sun rays I will just say the sun, which were literally shining in my eyes

but no johns

 

[Bones0]

I knew someone out there would demand the correct use of "literally." When I'm talking about sun rays I will just say the sun, which were literally shining in my eyes

but no johns

"I guess you could say you were..."

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

"... shined blind."

YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

[Shadocat]

I thought she was 18!!!

 

[PGH Carroll]

loooooooooool ^ this guy knows.

my famous john. "you scrubs are the reason im bad"

 

[Krynxe]

"I guess you could say you were..."

(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)

"... shined blind."

YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

There was a new smash player in WA who went by the tag Blind a couple months ago

His first tourney, Zelgadis happened to show up to our regional

And they were first round in bracket

Many jokes were had that day