I figured out my issue with women

[The_Altrox]

Link to original post: [drupal=1111]I figured out my issue with women[/drupal]



I'm not a guy who's afraid of women. I'm friends with many girls, and I flirt with about half of them (exaggeration.)
My issue on why my love life has been boring? I figured by now that I'm not aggressive enough in any pursuit. I always take it easy, and don't try anything spontaneous, and I often don't move in fear of rejection. I also never try after a girl who's already in a relationship, which I guess it's a good thing, but that jolds me back.
I think I get my problem, but solving it is gonna be a pain.

 

[The furosious robot has left]

jolds me back.

are you serious? spell-check for the win.

 

[MBreeto]

Try going to some clubs and like give yourself a time limit or something to pick up a girl. Idk if your looking for one night stands or a serious relationship, so, if its a serious relationship, i don't suggest going to clubs. I guess try to learn how to smooth talk, and just be confident.

Side note, did you see that Chris Jericho punched a woman fan in the face? rofl.

 

[The_Altrox]

Try going to some clubs and like give yourself a time limit or something to pick up a girl. Idk if your looking for one night stands or a serious relationship, so, if its a serious relationship, i don't suggest going to clubs. I guess try to learn how to smooth talk, and just be confident.

Side note, did you see that Chris Jericho punched a woman fan in the face? rofl.

17 year olds need fake ID's for clubs...
and that woman deserved it. Jericho was using self-defense.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

Well, I know I can't help you with this since I have the same problem.

I don't even know where to get girls, or how. Hell, I had a girl that I liked say she wanted to sleep with me and the relationship never got further than holding hands.

I have a couple friends that go to clubs, but let's just say it's not the type of club where guys can hook up with girls; the few girls there - guys aren't their type.

I also go to bars and that also is not a good place to get girls...Unless you want some big girl thinking you're easy and trying to take advantage of you being drunk. Seriously, some huge girl bluntly said "I'm going to drag you to my house and do stuff to you" when I was too drunk to even think - Luckily I had friends with me that stopped that...

Maybe a rock concert? I dunno if that's a good place to meet girls...I've never met any girls at any concerts or whatever they are called. You know, those underground one's...Eh, I think I saw some pretty good girls at that which may have worked last time but I was too concerned over the fact I was missing a large amount of money from my wallet.

School would probably be the easiest place, since as I learned in Psychology: Two people can fall for each other if they see each other often. Such as seeing a girl in the hallway every day could lead to something. Repetition in seeing someone leads to infatuation.

 

[fromundaman]

Meh, you're 17. Don't sweat it. It'll come eventually (it did for me anyway, and I kind of have/had the same problems you are describing), and if all else fails, there's always ****! Yeah, I'm j/k about the **** part... Don't actually do that. That leads to jail cell with Bubba, and Bubba likes fresh young men...

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

Meh, you're 17. Don't sweat it. It'll come eventually (it did for me anyway, and I kind of have/had the same problems you are describing), and if all else fails, there's always ****! Yeah, I'm j/k about the **** part... Don't actually do that. That leads to jail cell with Bubba, and Bubba likes fresh young men...

I'm probably older than you and it hasn't come to me yet.

 

[Skrah]

Just be confident man. Don't fear rejection. Talk to a girl that interests you more and more every day, until it comes to asking if she wants to date you or something, and if she rejects you, don't think its the end of the world.

 

[fromundaman]

I'm probably older than you and it hasn't come to me yet.

You probably are. That sucks though... Hope your luck changes soon.

I'm just saying there's no point in getting too worried about it at 17 though.


EDIT:
If you want actual advice though, here's something I said to a friend once (which, ironically, I've never managed to get into this mindset myself):

If you sit there doing nothing out of fear of rejection, what happens? Nothing. You remain lonely and nothing has changed.
Now suppose you get your courage worked up and ask [insert girl name here] out, and she shoots you down, then what happens? Not much more. You're still lonely, and she's still not going out with you. Sure, it may hurt your self-esteem a little, but in reality, you don't lose out on anything.

 

[Kinzer]

Just be confident man. Don't fear rejection. Talk to a girl that interests you more and more every day, until it comes to asking if she wants to date you or something, and if she rejects you, don't think its the end of the world.

You know, I was just thinking that if I actually liked a girl and actually wanted to out with her/form a long-term relationship with, the risk would not be worth the reward since it's mostly just a one-chance thing.

If you sit there doing nothing out of fear of rejection, what happens? Nothing. You remain lonely and nothing has changed.
Now suppose you get your courage worked up and ask [insert girl name here] out, and she shoots you down, then what happens? Not much more. You're still lonely, and she's still not going out with you. Sure, it may hurt your self-esteem a little, but in reality, you don't lose out on anything.

...Until I saw this...

I'm not sure how that works for serious relationships, but I could go into that mindset if I ever looked for a one-night stand...

Hmm...

Oh well, just as I always say "something will be bound to happen if you wait, so just be patient."

 

[Skrah]

You know, I was just thinking that if I actually liked a girl and actually wanted to out with her/form a long-term relationship with, the risk would not be worth the reward since it's mostly just a one-chance thing.



...Until I saw this...

I'm not sure how that works for serious relationships, but I could go into that mindset if I ever looked for a one-night stand...

Hmm...

Oh well, just as I always say "something will be bound to happen if you wait, so just be patient."

Well.. yeah. But you can't expect the girl to come to you if you don't take action. Maybe the girl likes you too, but generally the guys are the ones that ask her out.

I understand what you're trying to say though. My advice is, try it.

One time I liked a girl, I knew I should try it, she liked me, and I KNEW it. But I didn't have the balls to do it. She got pissed cause I never would ask her out. A year later, she's dating my best friend, and I have to pretend I'm happy for them. See what I mean?

 

[fromundaman]

Yeah, I should probably specify that that wouldn't work if it's a good friend or something (relationships can seriously **** up friendships if they fail...) like that.

 

[smashbros.maniac]

I actually have never had a gf! xD
But just a couple days ago I found a girl who is an almost MIRROR of me!!! =O
She likes the same things I like, she's nice, and I REALLY hope she likes me! xO
But I still have to make a move! I baked her a batch of cookies and was going to bring it to her, but I never got the chance... But I know where she works and goes every week, so not a huge deal. (But I hope she doesn't forget about me until then! >.< )

But the moral of this story is: Just be patient, and it will work out.

 

[Lemonwater]

I actually have never had a gf! xD
But just a couple days ago I found a girl who is an almost MIRROR of me!!! =O
She likes the same things I like, she's nice, and I REALLY hope she likes me! xO
But I still have to make a move! I baked her a batch of cookies and was going to bring it to her, but I never got the chance... But I know where she works and goes every week, so not a huge deal. (But I hope she doesn't forget about me until then! >.< )

But the moral of this story is: Just be patient, and it will work out.

I know a girl like that too LOL
She calls me a brother from another mother and I call her a sister from another ancestor. Yep, we're lame . I can't STAND her sometimes, during her girly, emotional days, but she's like a sibling. I lived with her last year lmao

She's nice looking and we've spent nights over in each others' places doing stuff like watching movies and playing Brawl, and we've even gone out a few times due to boredom, but I've never been attracted to her as anything more than a friend.

Okay, about the topic. Well, there really isn't even a need to try hard to find someone. I always got attention for NOT being outgoing. I was super quiet and girls came to me to find out more, and they were mostly the popular ones (I wasn't interested in any of them) who aren't used to guys ignoring them I guess

I only went clubbing once and I hate dancing so it wasn't fun. I never drink and stuff either. I guess just be yourself and someone interested in you will eventually come along. It could even be someone you already know. I knew my girlfriend for over 3 years before I got interested in her (she's very similar to me as well) and now we've been going out for almost 9 months.