So I called Nintendo Tech Support. Here is more or less what happened:
Me: I just bought SSBB and I'm not able to spectate games or go into the options under the Wi-Fi Connection Menu.
Her: Let me put you on hold for a minute while I see if there's anything I can do.
[10 minutes pass...]
Her: It looks like you're going to have to send in your console and game disc.
Me: So this isn't even a known problem? I read a bunch of forums and a lot of people are having this problem.
Her: No, it's not a known problem. [Ugh... Personally, I don't believe this. I just think she isn't "in the loop" or whatever]
Me: It doesn't seem like it's a hardware problem... [I read her the shady part in the manual about how it MAY show up]. Is there anybody who might know what this means?
Her: Um.. I. Uh. I know what that means. But you're going to have to send in your console and disc to make sure it's not a disc problem.
Me: Okay, fine. I'm not really willing to do that, so I'll see if it fixes itself or something. I'll call back if I decide to send in my console.
Her: Okay. Is there anything else I can do for you today?
Me: No, that's all.
Her: Have a nice day.
Ugh. I hate tech support... Computer tech support = reformat your hard drive. Console tech support = you need to send in your console.
So that's the latest. Guess we have more waiting to do.