Hype-Kus (NOW DOING SONNETS!!!1)

[The Star King]

haikus

Don't see how they were awkward. And come on, they're haikus. Do you really need such a restricted type of poem to be natural sounding? Give me a break.

As for "great fatal flaw"... I think of "fatal flaw" as one phrase, which is how it happened. Or something. For you, I'll try to be more careful.

I liek your sonnet, despite the lack of iambic pentameter. The last two lines made me grin.

Anyways, here goes my FIRST SONNET EVER. This is dedicated to the people ignoring the edited thread title:

I came for sonnets that will soothe my mind
And ease impatience for Isai's news
But I'm let down to read this thread and find
What's mostly a collection of haikus*

I do suspect the title was not missed
But rather, we've been plagued by deadly sin
It's Sloth's temptations that we must resist
The demon controls humans from within

Before I say what else I've got in store
I must admit this sonnet was a hassle
For making poems iambic is a chore
Like fighting Boomfan's Fox on Hyrule castle

But when did work obstruct the birth of art?
Lay down your soul, or simply leave; depart!

*No, asianaussie, I won't count syllables Japanese-style in an English poem

Spoiler

Did I do iambic pentameter correctly, AA? :D

 

[Battlecow]

Line three, second verse, sounds like 9 syllables to me. I guess "Sloth's" is tricky.

PRETTY GOOD, THOUGH, and at least it was a sonnet. The "hassle/castle" bit was pretty damn smooth.

 

[The Star King]

Oh **** you're right. I left out a filler word lololol

Editing

 

[Olikus]

If im away from smashboards a weekend I allways expect som weird stuff when I get back. But...

WTF

This takes the cake.

 

[asianaussie]

you're just jealous of the mad creative people people in this thread

@SK, It was an admirable attempt. The fact it made sense is really good, but I suspect we have some disagreement on the number of syllables in certain words. I rather liked it anyway.

Haiku is apparently pronounced so quickly it's two syllables even in Japanese. idk anymore

 

[The Star King]

Thank you :D. I might do another - I've already got a couple of subjects in mind. Making sonnets is surprisingly enjoyable.

WTF. I thought each hiragana/katakana symbol was a syllable, excluding whenever you used a smaller symbol (breathstops / blended sounds).

 

[asianaussie]

They technically are, but when you say things it's different...the obvious example is 'desu', which is spoken as one syllable, but written with two characters.

 

[Olikus]

you're just jealous of the mad creative people people in this thread

Im never jealous =) But even if I was its still takes the cake....

 

[The Star King]

This thread is beautiful. You wouldn't understand. In fact, one of my ideas for a sonnet was reliving Battlecow's threads, since his are always the best. I'm going through with it to show Olikus the light.

EDIT: Actually, I checked the threads posted by Battlecow in this section and there were a lot more than I thought. I only remembered the funny ones, which are obviously more memorable. Oh well, I guess I'll still do that sonnet.

 

[Battlecow]

My muse and I decided to create another sublime offering to the gods of poetry and smash. This one's in honor of the Kanto 2011 tournament that's either just finished or soon to be finished (or is about to start? **** timezones.)

As a special bonus, this one the first verse of this one's in Iambic Pentameter (what? I got bored).

Alas, my friends, to think of how blasé
This lack of hype proclaims us now to be
Not long ago, and not too far away
Japan did host a great and hype tourney

So many smashers gathered there to play
'Tis said that they outnumbered Pokémon
But who among them came to win the day?
And what of Aka, Jousuke, Prince, and Ron?

Their rules are ****ed, 'tis true, I cannot lie
They seem to have something 'gainst counterpicks
And though Dreamland alone seems pretty fly
With Kirby dittos, they can play like ****s

And though I know you're sick of watching vids
There's one more tourney left to go here, kids

 

[ballin4life]

appreciated and saturated
together do not form a rhyme
with him we may be infatuated
but ban battlecow for this crime

 

[Battlecow]

Sonnet form, please.

Although that is a terrible final couplet there.

Fixed... a little.

 

[The Star King]

Breaking news: ballin is infatuated with Battlecow.

 

[asianaussie]

ballin's verse had so little flow i spent 10 minutes trying to put how little flow it had into words, then realised i had spent 10 minutes on it and gave up

love the wording though

 

[The Star King]

To be fair, I cringed at Battlecow's fourth line

 

[Battlecow]

I struggled with that one. It was what made me give up that Iambic Pentameter bull****.

Still better than "It's sloth's temptations that we must resist" Though.

OK, **** this, $500 poetry MM, me vs. Star King. Asianaussie and ballin' co-judge it.

 

[asianaussie]

it's poetry, why are you complaining about cringing

and yes, if you read it alternating strength on syllables, that fourth line is horrendous

 

[The Star King]

WTF. It's SLOTH'S tempTAtions THAT we MUST reSIST. It totally works. And at least I tried the "iambic pentameter bull****", unlike some people.

Why would ballin be a judge? ROFL

 

[Battlecow]

The Iambic pentameter is not the problem. If you can't see the problem, then Ima enjoy my $500 pretty hardcore

ballin would judge 'cause he's white so we have judges who are racially inclined towards each of us

 

[asianaussie]

im so asian i go out of the spectrum and come back to being australian

and i have a smouldering grudge against korea in general anyway

 

[The Star King]

Imply there's a problem and not point it out to sow seeds of doubt into my mind. Cute. Either point it out, or GTFO. *waits to see what weak criticism he'll grasp for*

Nah, I'm whasian, and asians hate whaisans. Unbalanced as ****.

EDIT: Ninja'd. But yeah, I'm Korean, too. It keeps getting worse and worse

 

[Battlecow]

It was just a really bad line, lol. Totally awkward. First of all, "sloth's temptations" doesn't sound right, and even if it did you wouldn't say "it's ___'s ___s that we must..." and also grasping for the seven deadly sins thing wasn't working out at that point... eeeeeh it's just awkward.

Formulating coherent criticisms is hard. I kind of hoped that you'd read it and then go "Huh, boy, that is pretty bad."

 

[asianaussie]

'sloth's temptations'

it used attract

how do you feel

 

[Battlecow]

I don't recognize anything beyond RBY as legitimate, so that post made no sense. That's critical to my most recent sonnet, actually.

 

[The Star King]

Yeah, just as I thought, you're grasping. A bit of awkwardness is not nearly bad as the horrendous flow the line I pointed out causes.

I don't recognize anything beyond RBY as legitimate, so that post made no sense.

Oh god, you're one of THEM.

 

[asianaussie]

but how will you appreciate the greatness of curse aerodactyl if you've never played GSC?

i agree with star king for the most part

sonnet's are hardly expected to follow convention, awkwardness is nothing new

 

[ballin4life]

ballin's verse had so little flow i spent 10 minutes trying to put how little flow it had into words, then realised i had spent 10 minutes on it and gave up

love the wording though

just read it as prose and it sounds fine. if i were trying to have a designated "flow" i wouldn't have mixed 8 syllable and 10 syllable lines.

kinda hard to work in something like "battlecow".

 

[blaze3927]

odd how irrelelvant AMERICAN threads manage to stay open

 

[Sangoku]

^this. Plus I even reported the thread, but nothing happened.

 

[asianaussie]

philistines, all of you

shame, shame, SHAME

 

[Battlecow]

Sangoku, I thought you were my friend. Hush, stop off-topicking my thread, and join in on the holiday spirit with a sonnet of your own... If you truly love smash.

 

[The Star King]

Lol tons of American threads have been closed. Seriously?

In your thread, your question was answered and people went off-topic. Why are you even mad?

 

[Battlecow]

More sonnets, less social-thread chit-chat

 

[Sangoku]

Lol battlecow. Seriously though, I've never been good at inventing stuff (poems, essay or whatever). Plus I don't speak english well enough to do something good.

Who are you talking to star king?

 

[Battlecow]

Truly sad when a great man like Sangoku lets jealousy of the poetic talents of others goad him into trying to get a great thread closed. Just sit back and enjoy, mang.

 

[The Star King]

blaze. He mad his "combo idea" thread was closed for some god-forsaken reason.

 

[Sangoku]

Lol sorry bro, I shouldn't have tried to stab you in the back. I'll just read others' creation without participating.

Star King: oh that's right, I had forgotten which thread he made.

 

[ciaza]

So how about that weather?

 

[DMoogle]

^this. Plus I even reported the thread, but nothing happened.

Sorry I never responded to that. I meant to post in the Staff forum about this, but became distracted.

Spamfest + inappropriate content, including in the OP.

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